TL: Skye
It had been a while since my last outing, and I enjoyed every moment of it. Well, how could I not?
Going out alone would have been fun enough, but going out with a beautiful woman? That multiplied the enjoyment fourfold.
We strolled along the beachfront and grabbed some seafood tacos. Then, coffee in hand, we climbed a small hill nearby to take in the panoramic view of Libertad.
As the sun began to set, we descended and had dinner at a restaurant Isabella said she used to visit with her parents when she was young. Afterward, we rode back together in the car.
"I truly enjoyed today."
My heart lurched at those unexpected words.
What man could maintain his composure when a woman reminiscent of Jessica Alba in Sin City says she's satisfied with a date?
Of course, I knew she simply meant she'd had a pleasant time. Nothing more.
Besides, beaches are synonymous with open-mindedness.
'Better not get ahead of myself.'
I replied while trying my best to stay calm.
"Ahem, if you enjoyed it that much... shall we go on another outing when you have time?"
"Of course. I'd actually like to be the one asking you."
"I don't think we had that much fun, though..."
"I was so impressed by Your Excellency's insights that I lost track of time."
"I-Insights?"
"It was so natural that you didn't even realize you were displaying them. I understand. That can certainly happen."
"......"
"Please allow me to be your guide next time."
"Well... sure."
I couldn't figure out where exactly she'd glimpsed these supposed insights, but I nodded along anyway.
'Does she like brainy guys?'
So this was Isabella's type.
'Next time, I should bring up Romance of the Three Kingdoms.'
I figured she'd be even more impressed if I explained the five reasons Cao Cao defeated Yuan Shao and the three reasons Zhuge Liang proposed the strategy of dividing the realm into three.
'Nobody dislikes the Three Kingdoms, after all.'
*
Time flew by, and before I knew it, five months had passed since President Juan and the cabinet members died in the bombing.
In other words, it had been four months since I became Acting President and declared martial law. Two months since I discovered the slush fund left behind by former President Juan and established Tortilha Seafood. Two months since I rehabilitated the gangs that had been eating away at society and transformed them into farmers at Tortilha Farm.
'Looking back, so much has happened.'
I had accomplished things that would take an ordinary country three years to achieve.
Granted, this was only possible because the economy was rock-bottom and the population was small, but getting this far had been anything but easy.
I approached every task with my life on the line for each step forward. Without that resolve, I wouldn't have accomplished a single thing properly.
I wanted to show the politicians back in my distant homeland.
Where there's a will, there's a way.
Of course, that didn't mean San Marcos was running smoothly now.
This time, the bureaucrats were the problem. Corruption had improved, but incompetence remained the same. No, it had actually gotten worse.
"...So you're telling me you tried to import used tractors and got scammed?"
"The American agent said it was a fire sale and if we paid upfront, we'd get them at half price, so..."
"Who pays upfront in international trade? And if the price is half of comparable listings, shouldn't that be your first red flag?"
"I-I'm sorry! I was just trying so hard to do well... Sob, sob, if you spare my life, I'll serve you loyally!"
"......"
The Ministry of Agriculture got scammed out of five million dollars trying to import tractors to lend to farmers.
"What happened with the bridge we were supposed to build over the Almen River?"
"Well... the construction company we contracted couldn't secure the engineering methodology, so they haven't been able to produce the designs."
"We should have broken ground ages ago. What have you been doing all this time? If they can't deliver, you should have switched companies!"
"B-But we've worked with them for so long, there's a sense of loyalty..."
"Cut the crap. Do you think I don't know that construction company is run by former Ministry of Construction officials?"
The Ministry of Construction and Housing still hadn't gotten its act together.
"What? You ordered dengue fever vaccines but stored them improperly, so now they're unusable? What kind of nonsense is that?"
"Well... we accidentally ordered the vaccine storage refrigerator in 110 volts."
"Then get a converter and make it work! Why did you just leave it sitting there?"
"By the time we realized, the vaccines had already expired..."
"Wow, this is insane."
The Ministry of Health had thrown away two million dollars' worth of dengue vaccines into thin air.
And the disasters didn't stop there.
I gave the Ministry of Justice a budget to expand the prison, and they spent it renovating the warden's office and break room. The Ministry of Commerce was supposed to build an electronic customs clearance system, but they only bought computers without purchasing any software.
"We planned to have the young folks download the software from the internet to save on the budget."
"No."
Who downloads government software from file-sharing sites?
'Wait, could they even download it if they tried?'
That was when it hit me. If I didn't do something about these morons, San Marcos had no future.
*
Back when I was young, there was a phrase I used to say constantly while playing Protoss.
'There's no hope.'
I said it because finding any advantages over the other races was so difficult. I never thought I'd still be saying it now.
"There's... no hope."
I had scattered a whopping two hundred million dollars in budget, yet only about half, just over a hundred million, had been properly executed.
Ninety percent of the remainder still hadn't been spent, but a staggering ten million dollars had been thrown away due to bureaucratic incompetence.
If this were Korea, these people would be dragged before the National Assembly audit and grilled for two and a half hours with nothing to say in their defense.
'How is incompetence a passive skill for these people?'
How could there not be a single normal person among them?
My chest felt so heavy it was turning to depression. I was starting to think maybe I should go buy some bread. (TL: "buy some bread" is reference to comfort eating mainly done when someone is in depression.)
As I clutched my head, Isabella came over with coffee.
"You seem troubled."
"Tremendously troubled."
What good was carrying the team when my teammates were trolling left and right? At this point, I was starting to wonder if I should investigate whether this was intentional trolling and just ban them all.
Isabella seemed to sense how I was feeling and nodded as she offered her opinion.
"How about executing those who wasted the budget and sending the rest to the mines?"
"......"
What was with this woman and her constant talk of executions and mines?
'Didn't we just talk about abolishing the death penalty the other day?'
Of course, I was angry and resentful toward the incompetent bureaucrats too. But I couldn't just kill them.
"Isabella. Calm down. Execution is too extreme."
"It's not extreme at all. Wasting the nation's budget is tantamount to treason. Please make an example of them and restore Your Excellency's standing."
"No."
How was I supposed to restore my standing through executions?
"...I can't take lives so easily, and even if they wasted the budget, that doesn't mean they committed a capital offense. Besides, what matters now isn't punishment but solutions."
Isabella let out a small sound of admiration and nodded.
"Your Excellency is consistently merciful."
"......"
I had no idea what she meant, but my head was already aching from the incompetent bureaucrats, so I just said I understood.
'Why isn't anything improving even though we have money?'
If anything, their incompetence seemed more glaring now than when we were broke.
When there was no money, there was nothing to do, so it didn't show. But now that we had funds and could assign work, critical failures were popping up everywhere.
At this rate, even if I had 6.5 billion dollars instead of 65, or even 650 billion, it would be like pouring water into a bottomless bucket.
'What the hell am I supposed to do?'
If I fired everyone, there'd be no one left to work. But if I left them alone, I was surrounded by saboteurs.
You think I could just replace them with other people?
If that were possible, would I be agonizing like this?
The great San Marcos was a nation where public education had completely collapsed. Out of every hundred children born, fewer than thirty graduated middle school, and fewer than ten graduated high school. The graduation rate for elementary school, which was supposed to be mandatory, didn't even reach seventy percent. Rock bottom didn't begin to describe it.
'In this situation, who am I supposed to hire?'
Now, here's a quiz. What percentage of the population were domestic university graduates?
The answer, astonishingly, was zero percent.
San Marcos didn't have a single university to begin with.
That's why military academy graduates were the highest-educated people in the country.
"Ugh."
In the end, there was only one option.
'Somehow, I have to make this work.'
Worry about talent recruitment later and make do with the people I had now.
With the determination of someone making a decision to save the nation, I presented my solution.
"Let's hold an examination."
"An... examination?"
"Yes. An exam to assess basic intellectual ability and competence as public servants."
"...Will it be effective?"
"The effect will be certain."
I took a sip of the coffee Isabella had set down and continued.
"Human beings instinctively want to rise above others."
And if they had voluntarily joined the military for career advancement, that desire would be even stronger.
"Rising above others... Do you mean you'll take action based on the exam results?"
"Yes. I plan to promote or demote people based on their scores. Those at the very bottom will be sent to Tortilha Farm to work the fields."
Isabella's eyes widened at the mention of farming.
"If they lack ability, they need to compensate with physical labor. They shouldn't just be taking up space. Don't you agree?"
Actually, this was the very reason I stayed in America after finishing my MBA instead of returning to Korea.
I despised Korea's seniority-based culture.
Well, I never thought I'd be the one getting fired, but still.
"A truly perfect plan."
"Isn't it?"
"However, there may be growing discontent internally. In the worst case, it could lead to collective action."
"Isabella. If you were to rate the abilities of San Marcos's public servants on a scale of one to ten, what score would you give them?"
"...I could probably give them a one or a two."
"Exactly. Now, if they did take collective action, how much would that score drop? Maybe 0.2 points? Or 0.3? The way I see it, there wouldn't be much difference."
"Ah."
Isabella finally understood and nodded. I went ahead and told her the next phase of the plan.
"And I don't plan to make this a one-time exam."
"Then...?"
"I'll have them take it every year. If they don't want to be demoted, they'll study on their own. All we have to do is raise the difficulty accordingly."
"They'll be worked to death."
"San Marcos will prosper."
"Ah...!"
Isabella nodded with deep admiration.
"May I add one small idea?"
"Of course."
"Instead of holding the exam once a year, what if we split it into the first and second half of the year and hold it twice?"
"Hmm... that would definitely increase costs, but maximize effectiveness."
That didn't seem like a bad idea. Right now, normalization was more important than costs. Besides, the expenses wouldn't be that high anyway.
"And one more thing. Whoever comes in last place on each exam should be executed for the crime of betraying Your Excellency's expectations. That way, everyone will study hard just to avoid dying."
"No."
Why was she trying to add executions to a civil service exam?