110.738.M41
02:40 to 04:00 Local Time
1: Excerpts from Transcript: Interrogation of Marisa Ven
The subject appears to be in her late teens or early twenties. Light skin, brown eyes, straight black hair. Slender, athletic, and clearly in good health despite signs of fatigue and recent injury including a splinted finger and a bandaged arm. Distinguishing features: her mouth quirks down slightly on the right side, even when she speaks or smiles.Interrogator: State your name and occupation for the record.
Marisa: Marisa Ven, Adepta Sororitas. Order of the Riven Veil. Fireteam Leader, C-rotation ready team, St. Margaret's Chapel.
Interrogator: In your own words, describe the events of the raid on D-M-48-9.
[I have omitted my reply in this excerpt. It is much the same as the above account. The full interrogation is appended.]
Interrogator: The phenomenon which you described as 'the Fear'. Is it possible that it was all in your head? Perhaps an emotional reaction to extreme stress?
Marisa: No, my Lady. I don't think so. The enemy acted like they expected us to be disabled.
Interrogator: After the phenomenon, you say you suggested that the enemy may have had a witch. Is that still your best guess?
Marisa: Yes.
Interrogator: We have nearby psyocculum readings that indicate no aetheric disturbance.
Marisa: I'm sorry, Lady. I don't understand.
Interrogator: When a psyker or sorcerer draws upon the Warp to enact sorcery, it produces a disturbance in the Aether which specialized machinery can detect. There was no such detection. Therefore it is unlikely that the enemy was using sorcery against you.
RECORD: Marisa Ven nods and appears satisfied with the explanation.
Interrogator: Would you care to speculate, in light of this information?
Marisa: I don't know what they did, Lady. But it wasn't all in my head. Everyone felt it. And it wasn't like… it wasn't anything that could have come from me.
Interrogator: You said that the enemy appeared to expect you to be disabled. Clarify.
Marisa: They didn't use cover. They came out all at once. Before, they were using cover and concealment, either firing blind or peeking out for a quick shot. After the Fear started, they were coming out into the open. It reminds me of how you would enter a room after using a stun grenade. All swift aggression.
Interrogator: Do you recall hearing, seeing, feeling, tasting, or smelling anything unusual between the illusory mold and the beginning of the Fear?
Marisa: No, I don't think so.
Interrogator: Were you aware that the vox was inactive since soon after your arrival at the hab-block?
Marisa: Yes.
Interrogator: Are you aware that your decision to proceed with the mission when you knew that the vox was inactive and there was more enemy resistance than anticipated placed not only your squad, but also the aircar, its pilot, and Nika in mortal danger?
Marisa: Yes. In hindsight, yes.
Interrogator: Explain your decision not to fall back and call for reinforcements.
Marisa: Equipment failure happens. Vox jamming is common. Gangs do it. We do it. It happens on its own sometimes. We have protocols for it. Normally we continue the mission.
Interrogator: And the high enemy resistance?
Marisa: By the time it was obvious that we had bad information about the enemy force, it was too late to do anything but fight it out.
Interrogator: So you blame Deacon Surs for giving you bad information.
Marisa: I didn't say that. Deacon Surs is good. I trust him.
Interrogator: So no one is to blame? Convenient.
Marisa: Blame? We accomplished the mission. We rescued Nika. We killed the enemy. What is to blame about that?
Interrogator: I will not answer questions. Return to the Fear. Why do you think you were able to surprise the enemy by fighting back in spite of it?
Marisa: I don't know.
Interrogator: Speculate.
Marisa: I truly don't know. But maybe the Fear is part of why we exist. The Fear and other things like it. Why Sisters of Battle have spread across the galaxy, and are not just one unknown sect on one forgotten world.
Interrogator: The Adepta Sororitas exists because of the Decree Passive. The Ecclesiarchy declared that the Church would keep no men under arms. Women are a loophole. Hence the Sisters Militant.
Marisa: I'm sorry, Lady, but that's not true.
Interrogator: Really, now?
Marisa: The Church has men under arms. Men. Men in their billions. They officially belong to other organizations, but they serve the Church. Last year I served on a warship. It had been bound to the Church since before my grandfather's grandfather. It will be bound to the Church until the second century of the next millennium. There were twelve thousand naval armsmen aboard whose entire lives had served the Church as men at arms. Good men. Hard. Lethal. Combat-tested. Killers. And that is just the infantry. The ship itself had the firepower to lay waste to a planet—and most of its crew were men. The Decree needs no special loophole for women. And there are men who can fight like us. Who could fight better than us. We would have vanished into obscurity millennia ago if there wasn't something else.
Interrogator: Suppose I believe you. Go on.
Marisa: We have not just loyalty, but total submission to the divine will. Faith, but not just faith. Love, and… and I don't know. Or I know but I don't have the words. Maybe it's how we are trained and how we are selected, not just how we fight. And something more—something in the nature of a woman… I don't have the words for it. Men are made to be like the Emperor. Women are… something close. Not better, but different. I think different in a way that sometimes helps.
Interrogator: An interesting dogma.
Marisa: Not a dogma, Lady. You commanded me to guess. If I am wrong, let the Church correct me, and I will submit.
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2: Excerpts from Transcript: Interrogation of Verity Cade
The subject appears to be in her late teens or early twenties. Pale skin, hazel eyes, wavy blonde hair. Slender, athletic, and clearly in good health despite signs of fatigue and recent injury including a bandaged arm. Distinguishing features: three large freckles spaced evenly on left cheek.[I have omitted most of the interrogation. A full transcript is appended.]
Interrogator: Stop for a moment. Let's go back to the beginning. You saw the man, you told him to drop the weapon, he raised it, and then the lights went out?
Verity: Yes, Lady, that's right. The lights went out but I was already pressing the trigger. I engaged my helmet's low-light vision a few seconds later.
Interrogator: In the muzzle flash, or in the low-light vision, did you see anything unusual? Did you smell anything unusual?
Verity: Hmm? Unusual how?
Interrogator: Metaphysically unnatural.
Verity: Hmm? No, Lady, I don't think so.
Interrogator: When did the lights come back on?
Verity: When we were clearing the hab. Hab 308. I noticed the lights were back on, so I disengaged my low-light.
Interrogator: That was right after the mental disturbance you experienced in the hallway? You called it Fear and said it was like knowing horrible things that you knew were false, but having to believe them anyway. Is that correct?
Verity: Yes, that's right.
Interrogator: So you talked it over with your team leader afterwards. Reasonable—it must have distressed you greatly.
Verity: No, Lady. I mean—yes, it distressed me. But we didn't say anything on the flight back except about injuries. Tara was hurt. Badly. Much worse than my arm. I think we were all too shaken to talk about anything, anyway.
Interrogator: I see. Please describe the experience in more detail.
Verity: My Lady… please… I would not… please. It's too terrible to tell. Outside the confessional, to anyone who wasn't there…
Interrogator: Nonetheless, I command it.
Verity: Please.
RECORD: Interrogator does not reply. Long pause.
Verity: I knew I had… I knew that I had failed everyone. And it was my fault. Not just the squad. Everyone. Everywhere. And that nobody wanted me. Or should want me. Because I was… evil. Selfish, useless. The squad thought I was a liability. They knew everything was my fault and they hated me for it. They had always hated me and they were right to hate me. It's what I said before. I knew it wasn't true but I still knew it. But… that's not the bad part.
Interrogator: Continue.
Verity: I can't.
Interrogator: You shall.
Verity: Please.
Interrogator: You shall.
Verity: I knew… I… I thought… heretical things. About the Emperor. And the faith. I can't say it. I won't say it. I won't say it.
Interrogator: You can tell me what the heretics wanted to force you to believe. I know that you do not believe them.
Verity: I won't say it!
Interrogator: I will excuse this outburst… this time. Then… make it about someone else. What did the heretics believe and try to force into your mind?
Verity: They… I… they… wanted… they wanted me to know… to think… that the Emperor had lied from the beginning. That he was evil and selfish and didn't care about anyone but himself. They… wanted me to… think… that he was dead… and… it was… good that he was dead.
Interrogator: Stop crying. You're a Battle Sister. Heretics attacked you, mind and body. You killed them. All in a day's work.
Verity: Huh? Uh… yes. All in a day's work. Lady.
Interrogator: Why do you think you were able to surprise the enemy by fighting back despite the Fear?
Verity: Hate. The Emperor's greatest gift to mankind.
Interrogator: Explain.
Verity: They took my faith and love and hope, but they forgot to take my hate. I killed them because I hated them.
Interrogator: Good. You will have permission to talk to your Sisters—Marisa, Gwen, Tara. Them only. You should tell Marisa your explanation. It is much more straightforward than hers.
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3: Excerpts from Transcript: Interrogation of Gwen Gless
The subject appears to be in her late teens or early twenties. Olive skin, brown eyes, straight black hair. Muscular, and clearly in good health despite signs of fatigue. Distinguishing features: shrapnel scars on right brow.[I have omitted most of the interrogation. A full transcript is appended.]
Gwen: Lights going out? Mold? No, nothing like that. I felt… strange. That's all. I was on rear security like I said. I didn't see anything strange. The lights never went out.
Interrogator: The mental disruption in the hallway. You called it Evil. Would it be appropriate to also call it Fear?
Gwen: No. I don't think so. Fear is good. It's a gift. You can use it. It makes you strong and fast. If you smile against it, it can even make you brave. There was nothing good in this. It was Evil. It wanted to make us Evil.
Interrogator: When exactly did it begin?
Gwen: After we cleared door 307. I remember believing that the number 307 was an omen of certain doom. It sounds foolish now. But I really believed it then.
Interrogator: Can you describe it?
Gwen: Evil. It wanted to take away everything in us that made us good, human, loving, righteous, kind. Pick an idea that makes life worth living, it was the opposite. From stupid little things to the Emperor himself, all upside down and backwards. It's the worst thing I've ever felt.
Interrogator: Why were you able to fight?
Gwen: Saint Mina told me to.
Interrogator: Ahem. Can you clarify that?
Gwen: Saint Mina. Saint Mina, handmaid of Dominica, who saw the Emperor in Fury beyond the Eternity Gate. I was praying her rite when the Evil came against us.
RECORD: 'Help me to honour the martyr, tend the fallen, defend the innocent, and walk in the light.'—Saint Mina the Bodyguard, c. 400.M36 (attributed). Known as Mina's Rite.
Gwen: I heard Verity scream, I felt the Evil, and then I heard a voice, and it was like nothing else was real. I don't know how, but I knew it was her. She said: 'Be not afraid. Raise your gun and fight.' I obeyed.
Interrogator: I… see.
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Nika's interrogation was the same night. You can find the full transcript with the others. I think a properly told story would skip to it, and what we did about it, and why.
But my life has never been like a novel, and you have commanded me to write about myself, not the story around the Sanctifying Truth.
In my life, things happen suddenly and fall away without resolution. Sometimes I never know how they ended, or why they began. I think I am a weapon. I am picked up, used, and put aside.
I don't even know why it is right. It is right for other women to love a man and bear his children—to raise strong sons to serve the eternal crusade, and brave daughters to raise children of their own. Why is this not my duty also? I have my guesses, and my doubts, but I don't know. I know that I love the Emperor and my Sisters, that my masters are just, that our enemies must be defeated. Usually, it is enough.
We did not learn any more about Nika for a long time, so in my story, it must wait.
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Tara was never interrogated. Whatever judgment our masters reached about us must have been completed after Gwen's interrogation. Tara was still unconscious, drugged to let her sleep. But we had been freed to talk to each other.
I knew Tara was alive, that her surgery had gone well, but she looked dead. It felt like looking at my own corpse. We were born on different continents, but strangers sometimes mistook us for blood sisters. The dim light made it so that her brown hair looked black, like mine. I couldn't see her breathing. But the nurse said she had done well—an ideal repair of the damage, a swift recovery expected.
We talked, the three of us, outside Tara's recovery room. I shared my idea about the Fear, and Verity shared hers. We would have discussed it more, but Gwen told us about her miracle and then we weren't interested in anything else.
Later, it helped me sleep. Injury is a great soporific, but I don't think it would have been enough on its own. And we had killed. I wanted confession, my Sisters, closeness, my commander's assurance that I had not failed. I wanted to visit the chamber of skulls and whisper my story to our dead. The memories of violence and death raced around and around with the terrible memory of the Fear.
I drowned them in repetitions of Mina's rite. Her stained-glass image came to my mind's eye. I slept.