It was a morning like none other; birds chirp out in the trees, and maids scrub the halls where they can see themselves in the polished marble. Life in the Princess’s palace is peaceful, with the loudest noise being the foreigner snoring in bed, oblivious to the world around her.
Outside the palace, commoners get to work, butchers slice and dice, bakers bake, adventurers venture, and nobles scheme. It was on this very morning that one of those schemes came to fruition…
‘Great... another vivid dream I've forgotten. Ashia haunts my mind, as if she's a succubus draining the lifeforce of another. Was that what I was dreaming about?’
The morning awaits! Wiping the sleep out of my eyes and facing it with a gigantic yawn, I force myself to sit up, yet find myself not feeling refreshed in the slightest.
One might think I’m a heavy sleeper because sometimes I don’t get up till midday, but it’s the complete opposite. I recall waking up seven times last night, each time in a sweat after having a vivid "encounter". Existing as Frost is exhausting.
‘Anna… eh? Oh no, something bad is happening today.’
Regardless, I’m now awake, only to find the back of Anna leaving the room and the sweet yet bitter smell of a coffee steaming on the side.
Alongside the coffee, a note sits. What the note says…
[Madam Frost, you were snoring heavily, so I didn’t wake you. Enjoy.]
Immediately, I’m suspicious because this seems like something akin to a bribe. Today, we’ve got etiquette planned. There clearly must be something I need to be awake for.
“*Yawn*… what time do you call this? The sun is beaming into my room!”
The sun has barely risen from the east… but wait! If it’s this early, that means I’ll catch her in time!
The Princess’s schedule requires waking up as soon as the sun rises, so we may be able to share breakfast for the first time.
After what happened yesterday, you’d think I’d try and keep some distance between us. But alas, I can’t help myself. She genuinely makes living inside the palace worth it.
‘Hmm… this has an odd smell to it. It’s really good though.’
This coffee smells and tastes unnaturally sweet, reminding me of some tart from Earth. I can’t remember the name, but it definitely was topped with icing and a cherry. What a peculiar flavour...
Regardless, I garner what little strength I have, toss the bedsheets away, and arise! If today is to be a struggle, I may as well face it head-on…
“Sup—”
“I mean, greetings and salutations, other women! How do you ladies fare this morning?”
[Mind's Eye]
Spoiler
[MIND'S EYE][First Name: Ashia][Family Name: Koenig][Affection: 50/100][Traits] [»][Gender: Female][Class: Royalty][Age: 25][Trait Rarity] [»][Swordsman] [†][Cursed] [Þ][Pyromaniac] [ℑ]
Spoiler
[TIER][Legendary] [5*][Excellent] [4*][Great] [3*] [Good] [2*] [Average] [1*] [TYPE][Combat: †][Magical: ℑ][Passive: Þ] [collapse]
[collapse]
Spoiler
[MIND'S EYE][First Name: Anna][Family Name: Whitehall][Affection: 40/100][Traits] [»][Gender: Female][Class: Servant][Age: 29][Trait Rarity] [»][Loyal] [Þ][Stubborn] [Þ][Perfectionist] [Þ]
Spoiler
[TIER][Legendary] [5*][Excellent] [4*][Great] [3*] [Good] [2*] [Average] [1*] [TYPE][Combat: †][Magical: ℑ][Passive: Þ] [collapse]
[collapse]
Instinctively, I go informal upon seeing Ashia, only to immediately shift into some alien etiquette hybrid when I see Anna loitering in the background. Slowly and surely, she’s corrupting me with this training.
“Heh, morning Frost.”
“Morning Ashia…”
“So… Lady Anna. What is the occasion?”
I’m usually good when it comes to fake smiling, but I’m not sure my bedhead is a great recipe for ladyship.
“Pardon… Madam? Occasion?”
She looks confused by my question. For her to act like this… there’s going to be something horrid in training. Just kill me now!
“You woke me this early with a cup of coffee… one might think you’re trying to butter me up.”
Again, she returns with a face of confusion. Only this time, my stomach sinks seeing her react like this.
“Madam Frost… I haven’t visited your room this morning.”
“But… I saw the back of your head! And you left a note, along with the coffee!”
"I haven't left Her Highness's side all morning, Madam."
‘Oh shit… no no no! All you had to do was follow one simple rule!’
How stupid can you be!? Whoever came into my bedroom, that uniform was different! Anna wears a navy dress, while the other maids around here wear black! Who the fuck was impersonating her!?
Immediately, my fear spreads across the room, and both women abandon breakfast without a second thought.
“A-A-Ann—”
“On it now, Ashia. I’ll get the case, send the order, and call for the physician!”
Anna is darting across the dining hall, leaving us in the blink of an eye, while Ashia is right in front of me, grabbing a hold of my hand.
“How l-long ago did you d-drink that, Frost?”
“A few minutes… I think.”
“Then we still have time! G-Get as much out as possible, then Anna will h-handle the rest!”
Before I know it, my hand is locked to the Princess’s, and we are running through the palace at a lightning pace. Before I know it, we’re crashing into the closest bathroom.
‘I know the perfect way of getting this up…’
“*Bleurgh*”
…
“Kill me… if you would be so kind.”
Blood… I hate it so much. Thankfully, I’m yet to see any come out of my mouth, but the mere sight and smell is enough to incite vomiting.
“H-Heh… y-you shouldn’t make jokes r-right now, Frost.”
“Says the hypocrite who… urgh…”
Alongside me, the Princess kneels, one hand lightly patting my back and the other dripping with blood. I had planned on doing it to myself, but the second I mentioned it, she didn’t waste a second cutting herself.
It annoys me a little how quick and willing she was to do it… but time is of the essence, I guess.
Although she tries her hardest to remain composed, her anxiety manifests in the form of shaking to the point where I can feel it through my back. To see someone so accustomed to death reacting like this, I have to survive! If I don’t, this life will be meaningless.
“If I black out, in order to wake me up, you have permission to touch and tormen—"
“*Bleurgh*”
“S-Stop messing around, F-Frost!”
It’s unorthodox, but the combination of blood, stomach cramps, and the smell from the latrine is a perfect recipe for poison removal. Also, I can’t help but make a joke. I refuse to allow death to have the last laugh!
‘Positive thoughts, Frost. Who knows, I could have some natural resistance.’
Hey, the cramping itself may even be from something else. I mean, I haven’t had another cycle in a while. That could be playing a part, right?
“Your Highness… I’m back!”
All our problems appear to be solved! Anna finally makes her return, holding a case containing all kinds of colourful vials. She seems to take out three at random.
“I’ve brought your personal supply of antidotes… but which do we use?”
“It… could be cyanide. That coffee, it had a hint of almond to it.”
Almond extract! I finally remember that smell the coffee had! But doesn’t cyanide famously smell like almonds? I think I’m screwed…
“Cyanide? I’m unsure of a poison named as such, Madam Frost. Shall we wait for—”
“E-Enough! Frost, d-do you trust us?”
Cutting Anna off and taking the case herself, seeing Her Highness in such a state is now making me shake with fear. Or it could be the poison, I don’t know!
“Of cour—”
“*Bleurgh*”
She starts opening every vial, but seeing the state of her bloody hand trying to pass them over only sets me off again. How deep is that cut!?
‘Sort that goddamn wound out already, woman! You’re going to bleed out at this rate!’
Once I’ve managed to stop myself from hurling while Anna wraps a rag over Ashia’s hand, one by one, the vials of antidotes are passed to me, and I’m chugging them down like an alcoholic relapsing at a bar.
The taste, however, makes me want to throw it all back up.
If it’s really cyanide, all of this is worthless. But shouldn’t my insides be bleeding by now? I don’t know how poison works!
“Urgh… taste the rainbow, my ass! Are these supposed to make me wish for death!?”
“H-Heh… you’re going to m-make me cry in a minute.”
A dozen drinks later, all akin to tasting like dirt mixed with century old eggs, I’ve finally managed to down every last drop. But now, I wish for death. My stomach feels like it has been put in a blender!
Ashia manages to steady herself a touch, her shakes grow weaker, and she now focuses on breathing slower. But Anna on the other hand, she appears even more concerned.
“Just hold o-on a little longer, Frost. Any moment now… the physician will arrive.”
“About that, Your Highness. While I was sending the order to go into lockdown and for the physician, your mother made an appearance. I… may have revealed what happened.”
“Why would you do such a thing!?”
“…”
Instead of responding, the maid just coldly stares towards the Princess. It’s as if she’s subtly suggesting to give it a moment of thought.
“I know, I know, you’re right. She c-can help…”
“Everything alright, F-Frost? You’re staring into space...”
…
…
…
“I’m wonderful… why?”
These antidotes are kicking in far quicker than I expected… I feel great! I no longer feel exhausted, my stomach doesn't cramp, and all the blood on the floor has turned into a green goop!
But there are a few things which aren’t making sense…
“Erm… I don’t want to alarm you three… but were you always green?”
I’m currently swimming through a frozen desert in search of the Holy Grail, and these are supposed to be my champions? Two nymphomaniac succubae twins, and a demon obsessed with maid cosplay. We’ll never complete this quest at this rate!
“A-Anna? Did you always smell like a swamp?”
“Of course, MADAM Frost! Just rest for NOW… we’ll handle the rest of the MISSION!”
One moment, it sounds like the demon is shouting at me. But the very next, she’s whispering! I will not take this kind of disrespect from my underlings!
‘Mission? She seems awfully considerate for someone who just poisoned me… poison? She knows that delicacy makes me gassy…’
With that last thought, the world begins to fade in and out while I rise to become one with the primordial Gods. Who’d have thought power levelling my alchemy would work this way…
[Sanity]
Spoiler
“My Lord, the chinchilla-folk send their assistance! We’ve received the fabled egg of beatification! With this weapon, we’ll finally win the war!”
“Hoorah! Praise be to Lord Frost! Without her guidance, the desert would become a swamp!”
I… one cannot describe what happens inside the desert of Fitzgerald, where snow falls upwards, and fruity servants tend to their Master. With an unnerving alliance to the chinchilla-tribe, the desert has never seen better days.
Many enter the forgotten lands seeking unimaginable fortune, but most become fertiliser for the sands. Those who leave with their lives, insanity follows them like a plague. All of which return with similar kinds of “tastes”.
“Those who are boring never realise what flavour the desert provides! The delicacies are unimaginable, but the cheese is to die for!”
‘What the actual fuck is going on…’
[collapse]