While waiting for the meat to cook, he sank into deep thought.
The woman carefully crawled close and sat a step away from him.
Even this felt extremely close to Calix.
“So that’s why… You seemed so experienced.”
Though it seemed like a conversation, Calix was merely talking to himself.
“You must have been with so many men. It wouldn’t have mattered who it was—it didn’t have to be me. That’s who you are… Who… you are….”
His voice trailed off before he could finish the sentence.
Calix felt as if he were sinking endlessly into the abyss of the dark, depressing night.
CRACKLE.
Aside from the sound of the fire dying down, the surroundings were silent.
The caresses she had given were quite assertive and voluntary.
Her attitude, too, never showed any aversion or fear towards men.
It felt unjust that his first experience had been stolen by an ‘impure’ woman.
He had lost his 20 years of virginity to a complete stranger.
He was still confused by the heavenly pleasure she had given to him, which made Calix feel utterly desolate.
If it weren’t for her, if that night had never happened, he might have lived his entire life oblivious to the comfort of a woman’s touch.
Although they hadn’t had sex, what she did to him felt even more indecent.
“Sigh.”
But there was no turning back.
He had already crossed the line, and now he knew precisely what kind of pleasure a woman could offer.
There was no returning to the ignorance and innocence of before.
He sensed that his life would be significantly different from now on.
“Why did you do… something like that to me?”
But she seemed oblivious to everything.
“Are you a demon sent to lead me into ruin?”
He shook his head from side to side, as if signaling her to follow his actions.
However, the woman just stared at him with a confused look.
“Say no.”
Calix grabbed her head and shook it side to side, almost as if she were a doll.
The woman, like before, quietly accepted his touch without resistance.
With a serious expression, he let go of the woman’s chin.
Their gazes intertwined for a moment.
Calix reached his hands towards her body, just as she had done to him before.
“…I’ve never been with a woman before, but usually….”
His fingertips traveled down her slender neck, hesitating briefly at her delicate collarbones.
He hadn’t expected her body, identical in parts to his, to feel so different.
Every part of her body had a gentle curve.
It was soft, much more delicate and tender than touching a fawn or a puppy.
However, Calix’s initial intention wasn’t about finding out what a woman’s body felt like.
Acknowledging that, Calix barely managed to keep focused as he continued to stroke past her collarbone.
His second finger slipped inside her tattered top, feeling the softness of her breast.
More tense than she, Calix inhaled sharply.
“You’d probably slap me for doing this… if you were anyone else.”
The woman twitched her body slightly, appearing nervous but not ashamed or trying to avoid his touch.
It was as if whatever he did was acceptable to her.
To her, it seemed like nothing—a fleeting moment that meant little to her.
Calix withdrew his hand.
Irritated, he abruptly stood up.
“Damn it!”
Not a woman he loved….
Not a soulmate bound by fate….
Just a stranger whose only saving grace was her face.
To have given his virginity to such a woman—a woman who didn’t even love him!
“Damn it…! Damn you!”
In frustration, he kicked a pebble rolling on the ground.
* * *
Yeah, it’s not like she’s done anything wrong.
After all, he hadn’t stopped her.
He had enjoyed it, immensely so.
It was clearly undeniable that even if he could go back, he wouldn’t stop her from doing what she did to him.
“….”
Calix cut a leg from a well-cooked piglet and offered it to the woman.
“Take this.”
The woman did not refuse the meat presented before her.
She seemed quite hungry, eagerly taking the bone with both hands and stuffing the meat into her mouth.
She might have refused at least once under normal circumstances, but now, she simply accepted it.
Chewing the meat until her cheeks puffed out, she only then belatedly glanced at him, cautious of his reaction.
Smudges of soot mingled with grease on her cheeks, giving them a shiny appearance.
Unconcerned with how she might look, the woman devoured the meat recklessly.
Calix turned his gaze away, muttering,
“It’s hot. Be careful.”
Yet, he kept sneaking glances at her.
He was unable to take his eyes off her, worried she might choke from eating too hastily.