Xu Qingyan withdrew his gaze from Meng Luosheng’s retreating figure and turned his head, looking at her in silence as he exposed her little schemes.
“Are you feeling sorry for me, or are you jealous of her? You know that yourself. And also—don’t let me hear any more accusations or slander against her. You’re not worthy, and you don’t have the right.”
He lowered his head, the corners of his lips curling into a mocking smile.
“I’m nothing but rotten bones—there’s nothing I fear. If you dare use the same methods you once used on me against her, I’ll make sure you never see tomorrow’s sun and regret ever being born into this world.”
“Second Brother!”
Xu Rong’er flared up in anger.
“That was all from when we were kids! I was only a few years old—my sense of right and wrong wasn’t even formed yet. Do you really need to cling to it forever? And besides, why would I be jealous of her? What does she have that’s worth my jealousy?”
She crossed her arms, her face full of disdain.
“A rightist who was forced to the countryside—a fallen young lady with nothing but a pretty face and no ability at all. I’m jealous of her? That’s ridiculous!”
Her youthful face twisted for a moment.
Her second brother wasn’t wrong—she was jealous.
Before Meng Luosheng appeared, she had been the prettiest girl for miles around.
Once Meng Luosheng arrived, she snatched away the halo that had belonged solely to her, pushing her far into the shadows. How could she possibly swallow that resentment?
At this moment of fury, it was like a blow to the head—her second brother, crippled in both legs, had inexplicably fallen for an enemy, standing on the opposite side and defending the very person she despised. It made her hate them so much her teeth itched.
She wished they would both just die together, so they wouldn’t offend her eyes anymore.
She forcefully suppressed the deeply hidden malice, pasting a hypocritical smile onto her face.
“I was just offering kind advice. If you won’t listen, then forget it.”
As she turned to leave, she raised an eyebrow and asked casually,
“Oh right, dear Second Brother—do you have any money on you? I want to buy a new set of clothes.”
Xu Qingyan looked at her coldly.
“No.”
“Oh.”
Xu Rong’er responded with a look of disgust, then turned and strode away.
Xu Qingyan remained where he was for a long time, until the churning vortex of hatred in his eyes finally subsided. Only then did he push his wheelchair forward and leave expressionlessly.
His direction was toward the Xu family home—but just as he was about to enter, he suddenly changed course.
He was unwilling—truly unwilling.
He wanted her. He wanted her to the point of madness.
Every day when he opened his eyes, all he wanted was to see her.
Behind his restrained brows bloomed a crazed, possessive desire.
“A-Yan?”
Chen Xiue pushed open the door and saw her son at the entrance. She cried out in surprise.
Seeing the expression on his face, worry flashed in her eyes. She hurried forward, squatted in front of him, and asked anxiously,
“What’s wrong? What happened? Tell Mom—Mom will definitely help you.”
After a long while, Xu Qingyan lifted his eyes and looked at her in pain.
“Mom, I can’t control it. I really can’t control it. I want her. I want to marry her. I’ll treat her well—I swear I’ll treat her well. I’ll earn money, lots of money. I won’t let her suffer.”
His words were incoherent, but his feelings were sincere.
Chen Xiue’s eyes filled with tears, her nose stinging, her heart aching unbearably.
Her son had finally fallen so deeply in love with someone—yet she couldn’t say a single word of support.
Pain engulfed her. She tilted her head back and swallowed her tears. Those phoenix-like eyes, identical to his, looked at his refined face as she let out a sigh—helpless and heartbroken.
“A-Yan, give up. In all the surrounding villages, if you want any other girl, Mom will do everything she can to fight for her for you. But only her—she can’t.”
She couldn’t personally push her son into a pit of fire. Even if he resented her for it, she would accept it.
“Why can’t it be her?”
Xu Qingyan knew the answer, yet still asked.
Chen Xiue wanted to cry.
“Because… your families are not well matched.”
She didn’t know when the educated youths would return to the city, but she knew one thing—city people could never stay in the countryside forever.
Especially someone like Comrade Meng—it was even more impossible.
“But I want her. Even if it’s brief, even if it’s delusion, I still want her.”
Xu Qingyan’s eyes burned with bright light as he looked at his mother with hope.
“Mom, help me. I’m begging you—help me. We’ll be happy. We definitely will be happy.”
Chen Xiue completely broke down and hugged her son, sobbing aloud.
“A-Yan, why are you so foolish? Wouldn’t it be better to like someone else? Why did it have to be someone you shouldn’t love? You’ll get hurt, you silly child.”
Xu Qingyan hugged her back. His refined, gentle face lifted into an exceptionally soft smile.
“Mom, no one has ever helped me without reason, without looking down on me.”
As he thought of something, his gaze grew even gentler.
“In her eyes, there’s no disgust, no pity, no sympathy—only equality, only warmth, only the respect I’ve always longed for, pure and without a trace of impurity.”
Hearing this, Chen Xiue’s emotions collapsed completely.
Her son—her intelligent, handsome son—should have had a brilliant life, doing what he wished and going wherever he pleased. Why did he have to lose the use of his legs, to the point that even pursuing a girl required considerations of social status?
If—if her son were still whole, without any flaws, she would support any decision he made and refuse none of his requests. But now, she couldn’t.
She couldn’t bear it—couldn’t bear the pain her son would suffer in the future.
Even more, she couldn’t bear him enduring the hatred and heartbreak of gaining something, only to lose it again.
She pushed her son away. Her tear-swollen eyes were bloodshot red, shimmering faintly with tears on the verge of spilling out again.
“A-Yan, Mom can’t agree to this. Forget her. Remove her from your life. There are plenty of good girls in all the surrounding villages—there will definitely be one you like. Mom will do everything she can to help you marry one of them.”
Xu Qingyan smiled—a bleak, powerless smile.
“Forget? How could I forget? I already… can’t forget her at all.”
From the moment he had decided to end his life again, and she barged into his world and gave him that precious warmth—he had been utterly unable to forget her.
He wanted to cling to her tightly, attach himself to her, be her dog, her ghost, her puppet and her believer—offering everything, sacrificing his loyalty.
All he hoped for was that she might love him.
Or… at least look at him one more time.
Chen Xiue was shocked, unable to believe it.
“Can’t forget her? How is that possible? You’ve only known each other for a few days!”
She tried desperately to persuade him, to pull the lost lamb back from the wrong path.
“Infatuation at first sight isn’t love. It will only shatter you to pieces and leave you with a tragic ending. Wake up, A-Yan. There will never be a good outcome for the two of you.”
She spoke with absolute certainty, denying all of her son’s feelings.
As though she were denying the very possibility that her son could ever be hurt by love.
Xu Qingyan showed a puzzled expression, blinking in surprise, unable to understand why she was so certain.
Shattered to pieces—so what?
A tragic ending—so what?
At least in this moment, he loved sincerely and truly, and had tasted the highest emotion life had to offer.
His refined face was resolute, leaving no room for rebuttal.
“Mom, if you won’t help me, I won’t force you. From now on, I will pursue Comrade Meng. If she dislikes it, I’ll keep my distance. If she accepts, I’ll give her everything I have.”
The wheelchair turned and moved slowly into the distance, gradually shrinking into a dark speck.
Chen Xiue stood there with her mouth slightly open, staring blankly at her son’s disappearing figure.
One who hasn’t hit the wall won’t turn back.
A beauty belongs with a hero; flowers are given to fair ladies.
But withered grass and roses, moonlight and starlight—how could there be happiness?
Her son was still young and didn’t understand this truth. As someone who had lived through it, how could she not understand?
She sighed and turned back into the courtyard.
So be it. If he truly refused to wake up, she would step in and help.
She only hoped that her son could truly find happiness.