He'd been asked if he was training to become an idol at least two thousand times since middle school.
"Of course not."
"With a face like yours, it's entirely possible. Then why are you so determined to keep your identity secret? Oh! Wait, are you a criminal?"
Hae Dam's spirits sank a little.
Could I really say I'm not a criminal?
After all, he'd stolen ginseng out of someone else's liquor not long ago.
"Hey, why aren't you answering?"
"Huh? Oh! Ah, no! I'm not a criminal. Absolutely not. Of course I'm not."
"What's with that suspicious reaction...? Or does the reason you're hiding your identity have something to do with how good you are at finding animals? You're almost suspiciously accurate. Sometimes I seriously wonder if you can actually talk to them."
"Um, well, I'd better get going."
"Make sure you're eating properly. What, is being skin and bones the look you're going for? You keep getting thinner."
"You make sure you eat plenty too! See you next time!"
Hae Dam hurried away before Nyantam could press him any further.
He was careful about allowing photographs, videos, or any other records of his appearance to exist.
A detective with an uncanny talent for finding animals. An animal communicator who could supposedly talk to them.
That much was fine. People wouldn't actually believe he could communicate with animals anyway. They'd assume it was an exaggeration.
But what if, somehow, someone discovered that his abilities went beyond communicating with animals—that he could physically transform into one?
What if someone filmed him freely switching between a northern weasel and a human, then uploaded the footage to the internet?
In this modern society, where humans were everywhere, packed together in enormous numbers...
What would happen if the world learned that someone existed who could transform between human and animal forms at will?
Somewhere in the shadows... some sinister organization would abduct him, torture him, experiment on him, dissect him...
The mere thought was horrifying.
Perhaps things would have been different if he'd been smuggled in from another country—or rather, if he'd been born in another country.
But now that he was a citizen of a country that collected every citizen's fingerprints and photographed their faces, anyone sufficiently determined could uncover his personal information.
That was why Hae Dam took twice as many precautions as everyone else to keep his identity hidden. He went so far as to avoid leaving any visual record of himself, even in his perfectly ordinary human form.
Nyantam was a good person. The way she always tried to feed him whenever they met was proof enough.
Yet he had to remain on his guard even around someone like her.
He couldn't reveal his secret.
He had to keep his walls high.
Suddenly, Hae Dam felt hungry again.
A hunger that could never truly be satisfied.
He climbed into the driver's seat, clutched his empty stomach, and rested his forehead against the steering wheel.
"I'm hungry..."
'Have you been eating? What did you do when you got hungry?'
Remembering those questions directed at Chorong made him feel terribly sorry for himself.
Seven ginseng roots and one red-ginseng jelly.
It had already been four days since his last meal. In all that time, he'd consumed nothing but water.
Normally, even if the ginseng had lost most of its saponins, seven whole roots should have kept him full for at least two weeks.
So why had their effects already worn off?
"There's seriously something wrong with my body lately..."
Grrrrr.
His stomach was so empty it felt as though it had flattened against his spine.
Hae Dam was miserable.
I can accept not being able to eat meat. I can communicate with every animal, so the thought of killing and eating someone I can talk to is sickening and horrible. I wouldn't want to do that anyway.
But why can't I eat vegetables or fruit either? Sweet potatoes, regular potatoes, carrots, apples, bananas, grapes... There's so much food in the world, so why can't I eat anything except ginseng? Even weasels can eat fruit. So why can't I? Is it because my body can switch between animal and human forms? Why do I have to go through life constantly hungry because I can't eat?
He wanted to know the exact reason.
Yet despite living in an age when modern medicine had advanced so far, he couldn't even go to a hospital to find out.
There were so many people in the world.
People everywhere, crowding every corner of it.
And yet there was only one person like him.
I'm the only person in this entire world who can transform into an animal.
How is that any different from everyone else in the world disappearing and leaving me all alone...?
No!
Hae Dam abruptly snapped out of it.
Stop it! I can't think like this...!
He clenched his small fists.
I've got a little time before my next case, so I'll wash up, take a nap, and then head out.
Hae Dam washed at a nearby bathhouse, then returned to his car in the parking lot and prepared to sleep.
He never bothered booking accommodations.
There was no need.
A pillow always occupied a spot on the back seat of his SUV. It was a small, round pillow that had belonged to the ginseng-gathering couple, made from colorful quilted fabric and firm rather than soft.
A little white weasel curled into a ball on top of it.
All the animals made it safely back to their owners today. I earned plenty of money, too. I'm doing well. This is a wonderful life. I'm really happy.
He whispered the words to himself.
I'm happy. I'm happy.
I'm living a good life.
And I'm making steady progress toward my goals.
I'm really happy.
So why... am I still so cold?
Loneliness was an incredibly powerful thing, and terribly persistent.
It always brought the cold with it.
It could make someone curl into a ball even on a heated electric blanket in the dead of winter, or send an unexpected shiver through them on a sweltering summer night.
Northern weasels were animals that had originally lived in cold climates, yet Hae Dam was thoroughly sick of the cold.
It wounded his pride as a weasel, but he couldn't deny it.
He sprang up, tore open three heat packs, and arranged them around himself.
The warmth radiating from them eased the chill a little.
Should I bring a blanket, too?
The back seat was spacious enough that the lap blanket his adoptive mother had used would fit perfectly if he spread it out.
The pillow had belonged to her and his adoptive father, too.
'Goodness, you're barely half the size of this pillow. You were this tiny when you were little, and you're still just as small. What are we going to do with you?'
'Kyaa!'
'But our Hae Dam is tiny even when he's human. He was just born small.'
'I can't even remember what he looks like as a human anymore. He's always a weasel at home, so I've forgotten his face. Hae Dam, could you turn back into a human for a moment?'
'Kying.'
'You little rascal. Listen to that prim little squeak.'
'Leave him be. I suppose Hae Dam feels more comfortable as a weasel.'
'Keee.'
'Still, Hae Dam, when you grow up, you'll have to live among humans. You're not an animal who can turn into a human. You're a human who can turn into an animal. Do you understand?'
'Piiing.'
'Our Hae Dam is always so good at answering.'
'He's been like that since he was little. Always answering us. Always chattering away with his little squeaks and cries. Our adorable Hae Dam...'
The hands that had stroked him so tenderly.
The warm voices that had drifted over him as his eyelids grew heavy with sleep.
Things he could no longer feel or hear.
The cold had grown worse after the two of them were gone.
Bringing the blanket wouldn't make it better.
Even if he wrapped his entire body in heat packs, the cold wouldn't disappear.
It was something he would have to carry with him for the rest of his life.
Something he had to learn to accept as natural.
Something he had to grow accustomed to.
'They say it's... quiet there.'
Suddenly, he remembered that voice.
'Sometimes you can hear birds singing during the day, but at night there's no sound at all. They say the silence is so thick that even the fact you're alone gets buried beneath it. Loneliness must be such an ordinary feeling there. Being lonely would feel completely natural. Comfortable, even.'
Eyes sunk into stillness.
A low, quiet voice.
'I love my brothers and sisters, I really do. But this world is too noisy for me. I've tried to endure it, but I can't. I don't want to stay in a place filled with all this noise anymore. I want to go somewhere quiet now. I want to feel at peace. Please understand.'
Hope faded almost beyond recognition, and a meek resignation...
He had worn the expression of someone who had given up on everything.
Hae Dam had sensed a loneliness in him that was impossible to mistake.
The loneliness of someone who had resigned himself to a lifetime of solitude and sorrow, and who had found comfort in accepting that fate.
I don't want that...
I'll never get used to being lonely.
I won't accept this loneliness as something natural...
Yet despite his resolve, a little weasel who couldn't help feeling lonely and cold curled himself into an even tighter ball.
The following day, Hae Dam drove diligently back up to Seoul, doing his best to ignore the painful protests of his empty stomach.
He had scraped together every last bit of his emergency food supplies at home, but all he'd found were a few crumbs of ginseng brittle.
Starvation had finally driven him beyond reason.
And so, in the end, he headed back to that place.
Residents Only—No Unauthorized Entry
An expensive apartment building with the warning displayed in bold red letters.
Hae Dam transformed into a weasel and slipped inside through the flower beds.
There was only one building, with a single apartment on each floor, and the apartment he wanted was on the top floor.
It was easy to find.
Kying.
"Hello."
He called out to a crow dozing in a tree.
"Caw!"
Startled, the crow immediately came down.
"You scared me!"
"Sorry for waking you. Could you go check whether there's anyone in the apartment on the thirtieth floor?"
"A weasel? I haven't seen you around before."
"Nice to meet you. I'll give you some bugs in return. Could you go have a look for me?"
"Did you move here?"
"I'm just visiting. They're nice, plump bugs. They'll be delicious."
Hae Dam shook the bag of mealworms he'd brought along.
Lured by the appetizing treat, the crow flapped its wings and took flight.
"Nobody's there. It's completely empty."
"Thanks. Could I ask one more favor? Can you give me a ride?"
The crow looked the weasel up and down, then nodded.
Hae Dam was small and thin whether he was human or animal.
He was light enough to ride comfortably on the back of a large-billed crow.