The months following the execution of that gangster were nothing short of a living hell.
A sinister corruption had taken root deep within my soul.
Whenever I looked at another human being—whether it was a servant passing by or my own blood family—a dark, suffocating urge clawed at the back of my mind.
‘Kill them.
Absorb them.
Steal their memories and power.’
It made no sense.
I had only killed a single man, driven by survival and the hunger to unlock my soul’s ability.
But now, that dark appetite was no longer satisfied with insects or enemies.
It was demanding more.
It was whispering to me to slaughter everyone around me—even the very people who loved me and called me their own.
Every time I looked at my mother’s warm, smiling face or felt my father’s protective hand on my shoulder, these violent impulses would surge forward, filling my mouth with the bitter taste of utter disgust.
I hated it.
I loathed every second of it.
‘I am not a mindless monster!’ I screamed internally, digging my fingernails into my palms until they bled, desperately trying to suppress the dark urge.
‘They are my family!
How can I even think about hurting them?!’
I locked myself in my room and stopped eating altogether.
Days bled into one another as I sat in the dark, starving and shivering against the cold walls.
Outside my heavy doors, my parents were slowly unraveling with anxiety.
The relentless tension finally boiled over into a explosive confrontation.
My father raged at my grandfather, blaming his ruthless inheritance trial for breaking my mind.
In his anger, my father banned both my grandparents from coming anywhere near my room.
“Stay away from my son!” my father’s desperate voice echoed through the hallway.
“You’ve done enough to him!”
While my father thought he was protecting me, his decision only pushed me deeper into the abyss.
Stripped of any contact, the pitch-black isolation fed the dark voices in my head.
The sickening urges grew louder in the silence, gnawing at my sanity.
‘There’s no way out…’ I thought, staring at my trembling, malnourished hands in the shadows.
‘If I can’t control this hunger, it’s going to completely devour who I am.’
I couldn’t stay locked inside this room forever.
I knew that if I kept hiding in the dark, starving myself and refusing to speak, it wouldn’t be long before my family declared me insane—or worse, locked me away for good.
Stepping back out into the light and pretending to be a normal, innocent five-year-old was the hardest thing I had ever done.
Every single person I passed—the servants, the guards, my own parents—triggered that horrific, ravenous hunger inside my soul.
One day, despite my father’s strict warning, my grandfather returned home.
This time, he wasn’t alone—he brought a young girl with him.
He introduced her as the granddaughter of a close friend, explaining that she would be living with us from now on.
Her name was Yui Ling.
The moment my eyes fell upon Yui Ling, an unbelievable miracle occurred.
Ever since I executed that gangster, she was the very first person who didn’t trigger that terrifying, bloodthirsty urge inside me.
‘How is this even possible?!’
I was completely stunned.
Every single human I looked at made my soul scream to slaughter them and devour their power, so why didn’t I feel that grotesque hunger when looking at this girl?
Was fate playing some twisted joke on me?
Gradually, Yui Ling settled into our household, and I began spending more time with her.
Whenever I was around her, everything suddenly felt peaceful and normal.
Oddly enough, the closer I got to her, the more normal everyone else started to feel, too.
That overwhelming urge to murder my own family and the household guards slowly began to fade away.
It was baffling.
‘Does this girl possess some hidden superpower that suppresses my dark ability?’
It was impossible for me to figure out the truth behind her presence.
I still vividly remember the day I turned nine.
It was the day I took a leap and asked Yui Ling if she would be my girlfriend.
The moment the words left my mouth, her eyes went wide in pure shock, and her entire face turned bright crimson.
Overwhelmed and embarrassed, she panicked and ran off, leaving me standing there all by myself.
“Hey, wait!
At least give me an answer first!” I called out, waving my hands in frustration.
I couldn’t afford to lose her.
She was my anchor—the only anchor keeping that dark, predatory monster inside my soul at bay.
A while later, I built up the courage to propose to her again.
“Young Master, you already have a fiancé,” Yui Ling murmured softly, lowering her head.
“Your family considers your engagement extremely important…
You can’t make me your girlfriend.”
Hearing her mention a fiancé I didn’t even care about felt like a blow, but I refused to take no for an answer.
Even after she rejected me, I kept pursuing Yui Ling.
Deep down, I could tell that she genuinely liked me too.
It wasn’t just because she was always obedient or followed me around—I knew the difference between respect and affection.
I might not be an expert when it comes to love and romance, but even a blind man could see the way her eyes softened whenever she looked at me.
She always noticed the tiny things no one else did.
If I was tired, a warm cup of tea would magically appear on my desk.
If I was lost in my dark thoughts, she would quietly sit beside me, her gentle presence instantly washing away my violent urges without her ever saying a single word. This chapter is updated first at g.com.
Her smile wasn’t the polite smile she gave the guards or servants; it was genuine, shy like it’s meant only for me.
However, Yui Ling had a massive flaw—she suffered from a deep, frustrating sense of inferiority.
She was the type of person who constantly looked down on herself.
Because of her humble background, she genuinely believed she was beneath everyone else.
In her eyes, I was the brilliant Young Master of the powerful Shen Clan, while she was just an insignificant girl lucky enough to be sheltered under our roof.
She always put herself last, convinced that she didn’t deserve happiness or a high status.
Winning her heart felt like trying to scale a fortress with no doors.
Eventually, my persistence paid off.
A years later, when I was eleven, she finally accepted becoming my secret lover.
“We can be together,” she whispered timidly, “but we have to keep this completely hidden from everyone else.”
I agreed without a second thought.
At eleven years old, Yui Ling officially became my girlfriend, securing the precious sanity I had fought so hard to keep.
Present time-
All these memories flooded back into my mind because thirteen years have passed since that day.
Thirteen years ago, when I executed that gangster, my consciousness was pulled into this endless white void.
And now, today, thirteen years later…
I find myself trapped in this same pitch-white space once again.
Except this time, I haven’t killed a single soul.
I stood in the vast, quiet emptiness, staring at my hands in complete disbelief.
My chest heaved as panic began to bubble up from deep within.
“‘Why?!” I screamed into the void, my voice echoing off nothingness.
“Thirteen years ago, I entered this place because I took a life and absorbed a memories!
But today, I didn’t murder anyone!
So why am I stuck back in this white hell?!”
A full hour had passed.
Exactly one hour ago, Shen Tian pressed the key pressure point on my neck, instantly knocking me unconscious and plunging my body into a deep coma.
And ever since then, I had been trapped in this endless white void.
‘Am I going to be stuck here for the rest of my life?!’
A sudden chill swept over me as the horrifying thought took root.
As long as my physical body remained in a coma out there, was my mind condemned to rot in this empty space forever?
To make matters worse, guilt gnawed at Shen hao chest like a poison.
“I had brought Yui Ling along with me into that death trap.”
“I am probably the biggest dumbass in this entire world…” I thought, digging my fingers into my hair as tears of regret pricked my eyes.
“Why did I bring her with me on such a dangerous mission?
If anything happens to her because of my arrogance, I will never forgive myself!”