The locker room I had fled into was already packed when I rounded the corner. The eyes that had darted to me as I rushed through the door slid off me a moment after they realized who I was. Containing the situation and my emotions felt like the right thing to do. I was only late to class and certainly had not been accosted and threatened by another student in the hallway.
Pulling open a free locker, I swapped my outer layers for gym clothes while I considered what to do next. I had no idea how to deal with Tommy stalking me outside of school. Chris, Dan, and Sarah needed to know that we had someone following us around while we had been throwing magic around. We would need to figure out how much Tommy had seen. He had specifically mentioned Friday; hopefully he was only following us that day and not also on Saturday.
"Laura? You're gonna be late," a voice said from behind me.
I closed my locker door and started to head to the exit into the gymnasium. I replied stiffly, "Oh."
"It is Laura, right?" my classmate said, continuing her prodding. "You were kind of, like, spacing out there a bit. Are you okay?"
After a brief glance at her face, my memory churned up the name 'Alexis.' Other than the fact that she was in my grade, I barely knew anything about her. She had never really interacted with Lucas despite our class's size being barely more than a hundred students. Her face showed a mix of concern and something else I could not place.
"Yeah," I answered. "It is nothing. Just ugh—" I trailed off.
"The rumors?" she guessed.
"There are rumors now, too?" I groaned.
"Yeaaah. Sorry to break the news. It's said you went and got cursed at the river. It's so stupid. Someone obviously wasn't paying attention in health class. Transgender people exist," she said, rolling her eyes.
I balked at her last statement. She had pointed a flashing neon sign at another gap in my old memories as Lucas and it was one I did not even know I had. Trans people were common knowledge? Or at least covered in the school's mandated health class? I could remember that Lucas had taken the class but could not remember any mention of transgender people. I hoped there were not many more of these holes left for me to stumble into.
"Great," I said with a sigh. It was not hard to connect the dots and guess who started the rumor. "I guess that is what is bothering me. Tommy must have been really bored while he was suspended. I did not know he was already spreading stupid rumors. Thanks for letting me know, Alexis."
"Anytime," she said. As we approached the bleachers and the rest of the class Alexis's voice quieted. She gave me a small smile and said, "You don't need to use the stalls anymore, it's fine, really."
Something about her words felt off. Outside of names we barely knew each other. News of my new presentation and name had spread through my class like wildfire. It was so frustrating that my reputation had changed and people now had a whole new opinion about me without even talking to me. For better or worse, I was now 'the new trans girl' who socially transitioned out of nowhere.
Mr. Winters blasted through attendance with a simple count and sent us out to the track to run laps, the same as the week before. I quickly formed a plan to stay a quarter lap behind Tommy so I could keep my eyes on him and his two stooges. With a lack of arcane energy at my disposal, I would be unable to pull off a clean escape like last time. Tommy had already gotten a suspension, so it was unlikely that they would try to pull something in plain view of the teacher again. Once the three of them were out of Mr. Winters's view then all bets were off. Since I had taunted him with his own imagined curse right before class, I had likely only made things worse.
Last week had been unseasonably warm, but now the temperature had returned to normal with a harsh drop of sixteen degrees. I was glad I had included warm sweatpants today in my gym bag. After a bit of a cold start, I eventually settled into a rhythm and managed to keep pace with Tommy and his two friends. They had not even glanced back at me once, so I guessed that I was in the clear and I allowed myself to relax and enjoy the jog.
-*-
Lap after lap of the quarter mile track passed by as time drifted away and I started to get something approaching a runner's high. I had never really enjoyed exercise before I was transformed and I doubted that Lucas would have been able to endure this class, let alone the rest of his life, in this new body. Perhaps it was lucky that I had became Laura and spared myself that frustration. Most people accepted me and if Lucas was still around, he probably would have done something silly like hiding everything and pretending that nothing had changed. I was pretty sure it would have been an impossible task. I had lost several inches of height and looked completely different now!
"Hey Laura," Alexis said, slicing into my meandering train of thought.
"Hey," I replied softly between labored breaths.
"Finally tiring out, eh?" she asked. I had been jogging the entire time rather than alternating between walking and running, but at some point I had slowed down without noticing.
"I guess."
"Well, don't overdo it."
"I need to get in better shape," I mumbled. The running high must have got to me, because I added perfunctorily, "how else am I supposed to fight monsters." After a beat I realized what I said and just blurted the next thing that came to my head, "And well, because I want to be pretty."
Embarrassment overwhelmed me and I wanted to run directly back to the locker room. Alexis suddenly burst out laughing and I visibly relaxed. As she finished, she added, "Yeah, who doesn't I guess?"
She broke into a run as we crossed the back side of the track leaving me behind. I decided to stay at a walking pace and focus on my breathing. As I began the next turn, someone slammed into my shoulder from behind nearly knocking me over.
"Outta the way, slowpoke!" Tommy yelled as he passed me.
I gritted my teeth and failed to come up with anything other than a lame reply so I stayed silent. His two friends passed by me on either side without incident and as I continued walking one of them looked back at me with an almost apologetic look. I only shrugged in reply; I knew his lackeys were never going to push back on Tommy's stupid antics. At least he was not pulling on my hair and cornering me so he could beat me up.
The class wrapped up without further incident, and I waited until my classmates cleared out before I showered. The sweatpants helped deal with the initial outdoor chill, but after a few laps they had functioned more like a blanket. Even with low brick walls separating the stalls, I still did not feel comfortable showering with others around. Getting exercise when I was not fighting for my life was important and I was going to need to make a habit of it. After changing into a clean set of clothes from my gym bag, I walked to my locker to retrieve my backpack and headed out to the parking lot to look for Chris's Volvo.
"Hey Chris!" I called eagerly across the mostly empty parking lot when I spotted his car.
He was leaning against his car's fender and looking off toward the tennis courts. Players were already out and starting practice now that school was over. As I crossed the last empty row of parking spots, he finally saw me and acknowledged me with a wave.
"I was getting worried that you forgot," he said, pulling open the driver door.
"I took a shower after gym, then had to get my backpack. It took a while, sorry about that," I said as I climbed into the car.
After we settled in, Chris pulled out of the parking lot he said, "Thanks again for showing me magic, teaching me how to use it and the dealing with the witch, and well... everything."
"Chris, we have known each other forever. You would have done the same for me," I replied. The fact that I was barely ten days old sprang to mind as a sharp counterpoint to my statement, but I shooed the intrusive thought away.
"Well, I doubt I would have been as much help as you have been."
"Of course, you would be more capable if you had a guardian. Even without one, we can work on improving. As you practice you will be able to grow your energy reservoir and also be more efficient with it. Dan and Sarah are ahead since having a guardian lets you skip a bunch of steps when training endurance," I rattled off easily. Aurora had well understood the capabilities of both non-guardian and guardian-powered spell casters so ideas for how one could improve were clear even in her murky memory. Practice still made perfect and having a guardian was no excuse to put off learning and improving.
"Sometimes you really do sound like a guardian. So, what is that like?" Chris said as he waited to turn right onto the main county road.
"What do you mean?"
"Having Aurora inside your head."
"It is so very weird. It is like there is a shell of a person that I can look around inside of, but she is not there anymore. There is no one to talk to. There are so many memories that thinking about them is entirely overwhelming." Aurora had talked to me a few times, but each of those had involved magic or weird circumstances. Trying to talk to her like Lucas had done before my merge did not work. It was then that I decided that I should refrain from mentioning that Lucas's 'shell' was just like Aurora's. Both their remnants were empty. It was only me in here.
"Overwhelming? Wait, so how old... was Aurora?" Chris asked, stumbling a bit.
"A bit over five hundred years at my best guess. I am sure that she would have given you an exact number. Surface level details like those are not too difficult to reach, but if I try to dig then I keep running into gaps or holes. It is worse the further back I go. Like I said, it is very weird."
Maybe it was healthier to think of her as part of me. I was already doing that for Lucas. Would it make her memories feel less distant?
"Five hundred!" Chris gave me a strange look before his eyes darted back to the road. "What?"
"There were long gaps of hibernation and some shorter active periods, but mostly she woke up for extended periods when the guardian spell—or ward-thing, whatever—needed her," I explained.
"Still, that's crazy. I think that is before the French building Fort Detroit," Chris said, dumbfounded.
"Nerd," I replied with a giggle.
"Sure, but you're ancient! You predate the first Europeans arriving in the Americas," Chris said, shaking his head.
"Double nerd!" I laughed even harder. "Are you sure that you are not secretly into history?" Chris glanced at me again with a distant look, his eyes darting across my face. My laughter died and I asked, "What?"
"It's nothing," Chris said and the car fell into silence.
I looked away from the road passing by, focusing on Chris and after a few minutes was unable to figure out what was bothering him. I decided I should prod him. "After the cram session did you want to try some magic? Might help with your endurance."
"I already have a deflection ward on me, and my parents will be home by then," Chris replied. "And don't you need as much time studying as you can get?"
I replied with a sigh and a clipped, "Fine."
-*-
"I cannot focus anymore. These words are just a blur. I am done," I said as I snapped the history text closed. Hours of studying, quizzing each other back and forth, and with possibly far too many snacks I had finally had enough history.
I called my house and left a message on the answering machine letting my dad know where I was. My dad was unlikely to get home before me and in the cases where I beat him home I would clear the answering machine to save him some time. Despite Chris mentioning his parents were home, I never saw them the entire time we were studying. They could have been in the offices on the other side of the house or elsewhere, but the house had been dead silent aside from the two of us. Our study session had been a herculean undertaking by Chris and it touched on every single bit of information that he expected would be covered on the test. He even had insisted on me making my own single sheet of notes despite Mr. Takahata not allowing us to use notes during the test.
"It will still help you even if you can't use it. Writing things down helps you remember them even if you never look at the notes again," Chris had said. With this level of dedication it was no wonder that he had perfect grades.
My past self had been getting acceptable marks in classes, but nowhere near Chris's level. Maybe it was a good idea for me to start adopting more study habits before college. College was certainly not going to be any easier.
"So, when are you checking out that address we found?" Chris said as he watched me shove my textbook back into my backpack.
"The one on the receipt? Not sure. My Saturday evening is already claimed by the Video Zone. And of course you are hosting the Thursday party. Maybe Friday or Sunday?"
"Oh, I figured that you three had already had it all planned out," Chris said, a bit surprised.
"Nope," I said and Chris's face brightened.
"I want to be there. I need to help my friends out somehow," Chris said sheepishly.
"We are likely to run into more people able to use combat magic, like Kim," I said evenly as a chill crept across my body. I did not want to remind him of how helpless he had been, but we had only found him a single, simple defensive spell he could use so far. Chris would need something like Dan's physics-bending force magic, Sarah's fire magic, or my ice magic if he was going to fight alongside us. "I do not think it is a good idea."
"Can't you, like, call me in after you make sure the place is empty?" Chris pleaded.
"Maybe. Though, remember back at the creek when this all started? Those shades came out of the ground without any warning. The building might look clear right up until we get ambushed," I said cautiously.
"Fiiiiiine," Chris said. "Let me know after you get ambushed, then." He laughed. After a beat he asked, "Laura, do you think I'll get a guardian?"
"It would be a very bad sign if a fourth guardian was needed to take care of whatever triggered the guardian ward on the town. The last time a fourth guardian was needed was nearly a total disaster," I said nearly automatically, like this idea had already occurred to part of me and that part spoke it directly, bypassing the rest of me. The words had come from the same place within me that the chill had. I had to resist shivering.
"Wait, there are only two guardians right now," Chris said jumping to his feet from the couch. "When we were at the river there were three!"
"I'm... not sure I follow," I said haltingly.
"Well, you're not—You don't have a guardian anymore," Chris's hand slowly approached his chin and he started pacing. "Unless you count as a guardian somehow?"
"I am not sure," I said uneasily. "The influence from it that I felt while I was a guardian is gone."
"That means the—what did you call it? The guardian ward? It still needs a third guardian! There could be one waiting somewhere, freshly called to help and looking for someone to bond with!"
"Whoa, calm down Chris. The 'guardian ward' is just what I have been calling it in my head. I have no idea what it is or how it works. Also, I am not sure you want to jump directly to getting bonded. It is not just a pile of free magic without responsibility and there are risks, too. You know what happened to me. It could happen to you."
"Dan and Sarah are fine. I won't mess with the bond or whatever. I'll be fine," Chris looked both excited and a bit frantic. I crossed my arms and frowned.
"Chris, do not just rush into this because you are feeling left out. Look, we are not going to go running up and down the river looking for a guardian that might not even be there. I have the dumb history test tomorrow that—"
"That you'll do great on. Thanks to me!" Chris said smugly.
"Sure. Do not go running off on your own, please," I said, but then I knew he was going to do just that. There should not be any shades at Thread Creek because we had cleared it multiple times now. I still needed to make sure he was safe so I would not let him do this alone. "Maybe we can go looking tomorrow. Sarah, Dan, and I have looked up and down that creek two more times and have not seen more guardians though."
"I think we should still look," Chris said.
"Okay," I said with mild resignation. "We will go looking tomorrow."