"What do you mean Lucas is gone? Aren't you sitting right here in front of us right now?" Chris asked in a confused yet calm manner that I did not expect; he did not understand. My eyes darted between the three of Lucas's friends. Dan and Chris were staring at me, but Sarah was still focused on her food. She had heard the story already.
"I have memories from both Lucas and Aurora, but I am not either of them. My name is Laura," I explained as clearly as I could. Dan's eyes went wide.
"That explains why you're acting so different. After you transformed you looked like you were about to rip your own hair out," Dan remarked, staring intently at me. I nervously shifted my position on the couch looking anywhere other than at Dan's face. Dan continued and a slight edge crept into his voice, "What happened to Lucas exactly?"
"Lucas and Aurora merged, I think?" I recounted, pushing deeper into Lucas and Aurora's memories. To peer into each memory, I had to allow it to flow over me. When I did this, I felt exactly what Lucas or Aurora had been feeling and a part of me thought that I was Lucas or Aurora, depending on the memory. As I considered the memories around the terminus of their two lives I continued, "I am not clear on the magic involved, but Lucas succeeded in destroying the bond. I am not even sure if it was a real spell or just a lot of raw energy being thrown around. Based on their memories Lucas dropped all his mental defenses which gave him more energy to fight against the bond with. The energy directed the bond inward on itself and collapsed their minds together. Lucas just wanted the bond gone no matter what. I-Aurora did not get through to him in time."
"Chromos says you-," Dan started, but paused before continuing, "Aurora's power is still within you, but different. What does he mean?"
"I still can feel Aurora's magic. The spell that kept her guardian form separate from her host is gone, but the magic that powered that spell is still there. Maybe that is what Chromos is talking about? I can still use that ice conjuring ability that she taught Lucas," I explained.
"Chromos go to sleep right now," Dan barked as he stood and pointed at me, "Aurora, you stole Lucas's body and killed him, didn't you? And now you have the nerve to call yourself Laura? Why? To mess with us? Are our guardians going to kill us too?"
"I-no what? It is not like that!" I nearly shouted. I was crying again, so much for holding it together. Everything was going so wrong already. I reviewed my words and suddenly an alternate interpretation crashed into me like a wave. I had given Dan exactly what he was looking for: means, motive, and opportunity for Lucas's murder. Aurora got a free human body and would not need to lurk around like a ghost anymore.
Was he even wrong? I certainly did not think of myself as Lucas. Lucas had been extremely uncomfortable in this body and wanted to be rid of it as soon as possible. By contrast, I was perfectly happy as a woman, comfortable in this body, and I even had already picked a name to match. Even with Lucas's memories of life as a boy in my head, I did not think of myself as male at all. Could it be that I was mostly made from Aurora? I certainly did not feel like Aurora, although I also knew Aurora had never really felt what it was like to be human, so it was hard to be sure.
"Dan, what the hell?" Sarah began in a harsh tone, "Laura is telling the truth. Do you really think she would have told us all that if she was trying to trick us? She would have just lied and said she was still Lucas. We would have had no reason to doubt her."
While Sarah was talking, and tears were streaming down my face I took the rest of my sandwich and shoved it into my mouth both because I was starving and to prevent any more stupid words from coming out. I wanted all of them to be my friends, but it was all going so wrong. I should have just pretended to be Lucas. I could have lied to them and then after we cleaned up Thread Creek they would have just gone back to their normal lives. No one would have ever had to know that I was not Lucas.
"Dan, she said something about Lucas removing his 'mental defenses'. I don't think that could have happened to Luc against his will," Chris pondered with his head resting on his fist.
"What if she's lying?" Dan did not take his eyes off me. I had no idea what to do and I was actively pushing back an onslaught of tears.
"Sit down please. She's our friend. Can't you see what this is doing to her?" Sarah growled. After a few tense seconds Dan backed down and took his seat on the couch.
"I am really sorry," I sniffled. "I will help you and the guardians, I also still have Aurora's memories, and they might be helpful. Then after we solve this problem, you will not need to worry about the bonds anymore. The guardians will be free to return to rest." I prodded at my remaining chips as tears rained onto my plate.
"I just can't believe he's gone." Dan looked defeated. He had already failed; this insane situation had already won a victory over him. "I was so happy when we all made it home safe. I knew it was too good to be true."
"We knew the risks and we didn't really have a choice," Sarah sighed. The finality of the situation brought out of a look of exhaustion in her expression. We sat there eating the remainder of our food in silence.
"I should go," I muttered a few minutes after finishing my food, "I will be back Friday night."
"What about school on Monday?" Chris asked as I stood up from the couch.
"Your guess is as good as mine," I muttered while staring at the front door. I moved towards it in a haze. After I was through the opening and outside, I stared up at the afternoon sky and took a deep breath. I really needed to tell Lucas's dad what happened and that meant I had to head home.
Lucas's blue bike felt a bit off from what I remembered so I lowered the seat to adjust to my current height. After gliding down the driveway to the main road I turned in the direction of Lucas's house. I hoped I could stay there tonight. Sarah came up quickly behind me and she called my name as she pedaled up alongside me on the road.
"Hey, do you need some help talking to your dad?" She asked once she caught her breath.
"Does he still count as my dad?" I wondered aloud.
"Yes, dummy," Sarah bluntly stated and I sighed.
"Thanks for the offer, but I think I will be okay," I replied and faked a small smile.
"If you need anything, you know where to find me," Sarah said. She took the next turn and veered towards her home, and left me alone with my thoughts.
-*-
I rode my bike up the Loranger driveway and parked by the side of the garage door. Hopefully, Lucas's dad was home, and he would not just throw me out on the street. I stared at the door and could not push myself any closer. Should I have asked Sarah to come? Or would that have just made this even more awkward?
Eventually, I pushed through the wall of anxiety and slowly approached the door. As I mounted the steps to the porch, I pulled out the keys to the house, but as I was about to insert the key I paused. Maybe I should ring the doorbell? I did not look like Lucas. I am not Lucas. It was possible I was not even welcome here.
I stuffed the keys back into my pocket and slowly pushed a finger into the button for the doorbell. I could hear the distant echo of the chime throughout the house and my anxiety rushed back to the forefront of my mind. As soon as I began to seriously consider running away the door swung open.
"Hello, can I help you?" Lucas's father, Leonard "Lenny" Loranger, asked as he looked directly at me. There was a flicker of recognition in his gentle gaze, but it was soon replaced by a more neutral expression. All my ideas of what to say suddenly left my brain. I stood there with a blank expression as the seconds stretched on. I had to say something. Anything. My name, that was important, right?
"I am Laura. Can I come in? I sort of need your help," I mumbled as soon as the words came to me. Lucas's father looked me over again and once more he had a glimpse of familiarity in his eyes. He motioned me inside and I entered the front room of the house. He closed the door behind me and directed me to a seat in the dining room. After sitting at the table my nerves took over and I started fidgeting.
"So, we're related, right? You look a lot like my son, Lucas. About the same age too," Lenny said as he took his own seat at the table across from me.
"Well, in a way I sort of am Lucas," I began, "I ... got changed a bit though." I felt suddenly even more unsure of what I was doing. I was a ship untethered with no crew aboard.
"You're Lucas?" Lenny stammered, "You do look a lot like him, but your hair is so long, is that a wig? And you are shorter?"
"Please, call me Laura now. I should start at the beginning," I said and then slowly took a deep breath. "Magic is real," I said in a shaky voice as I held out my hand palm up over the table. Concentrating on pulling the water from the air, I formed a small cylinder of ice about the size of my index finger and rolled it around in my palm. "Magic changed how I looked and gave me a pile of new memories." After a few seconds of playing with it I rolled it across the table to Lenny. His eyes went wide as he picked up the ice and a drop of water fell from it onto the table.
"It's been a while since I've seen magic," he said, smiling. He looked from the ice back to me and asked, "So could you explain again what exactly happened to you?" My eyes widened in surprise.
"Y-you have seen magic? You knew about it?" I stuttered out the words, "And you never told anyone?"
"Let's start with your story first." Lenny nearly laughed.
"Uhh, well, Sarah, Chris, Dan and I were all at the river last night and we got surrounded by monsters. Three spirits helped us out by bonding with us. The spirit I bonded with was named Aurora, a spirit of ice. After we got away from there, I was transformed to look like this. Then I accidentally did something that removed the bond that held me and Aurora together." I paused to take a deep breath before continuing, "It combined us together. I am technically not Lucas anymore, not really. I have his memories, but I do not feel like Lucas. I have a lot of Aurora in my head now too, but I am not her either."
"I'm not sure I understand." Lenny groaned and rested his face in his hands. He massaged his temples and muttered, "Why is magic so weird?"
"Let me try again," I explained, "My best understanding of this is that when Lucas and Aurora combined, they created me. I remember being Lucas and I also remember being Aurora. I have both of their memories. I try not to think about that, it sort of gives me a headache." I paused and took a deep breath before continuing.
"I know this means the people I knew as my friends are not really my friends anymore. They were Lucas's friends. I explained everything to Sarah, and she said we were still friends, but Dan did not take it well. Chris never gave me a clear answer either. I am not sure if he even spent much time thinking about it. It is a lot to take in at once and very unusual. I know." These words all tumbled out of me and the feeling of loss and fear returned. I looked over at Lucas's father and he returned my gaze with a smile.
"You are still my child. Don't overthink it." He stated clearly. His smile grew and a faint hope flowed through me.
"Yeah," I forced out the word as I held back tears, "I still think of you as my dad. Even if part of me feels strange because I am not Lucas anymore. I was really scared you would hate me. I just want to be your daughter." He stood from his chair, walked around the table, leaned over, and pulled me into a deep hug. I let the tears flow as I melted into his arms.
"Laura, it's going to be okay. People are allowed to change; it's part of life." My father gently hugged me while my sobs echoed across the house.
"I am just afraid I might have changed too much," I barely whispered through my tears.
-*-
Eventually, Dad asked if I wanted dinner and I gladly accepted. He recommended that I do my homework while I waited. I dug through my memories and recalled that on Friday Lucas or I—not sure the distinction matters at this point—failed a math test. The teacher, Mr. Eckhart, gave me the weekend to correct the answers and turn it in for additional credit. I went upstairs to grab my wrinkled test packet as well as the textbook and went over it while my father made chicken parmesan with spaghetti for dinner.
After a few minutes with my textbook in hand, I found several of the mistakes I had made on the test. Mathematics seemed so much easier than I remembered, especially with most of these trigonometric functions. It was as simple as referencing the table of values for those functions. Slowly it dawned on me that during the test it would be harder because I would have had to memorize the tables. Wait. I should already have known that and been aware of it. Weird. I quickly finished correcting the test and left a note for myself to try memorizing the tables.
I looked in the pocket where Lucas shoved uncompleted homework loose in the backpack and I pulled out several unfinished pages. Where did these come from? Why did I not remember having a bunch more homework? A folder or binder would go a long way to keep things organized. Each blank page I found listed a subject, problems from the book for the class, or essay questions to answer at the top. This homework really had been piling up over the week, but I was able to make a significant dent in it. After finishing a few assignments, I looked over at the clock and noticed a few hours had gone by. It was finally time for dinner.
I eagerly headed to the kitchen to see how dinner was coming along. My father was busy scooping spaghetti out of a pot onto plates with chicken, so I grabbed some silverware and set the table before pouring some glasses of water from the filtered tap on the refrigerator.
"Thanks for taking care of that Laura." My father beamed, "It's so nice to have dinner together when we can." Eating with my father was a rare treat due to his grueling work schedule.
After a few minutes of digging into the food I eagerly asked, "so, how do you know about magic?"
"From your mother actually," Dad replied.
"She was bonded to a guardian too?" I gasped. What were the chances of that?
"No," my father chuckled, "Her magic was all her own. She was a witch."
"Wow," I blurted out, "You never told me!"
"Well," he sighed, "She swore me to secrecy. She would always say that magic is dangerous and shouldn't be messed with. Since you seem to have your own magic now, it felt like the right time to tell you."
"I am not really bonded to a guardian anymore," I mused, "does that make me a witch?"
"Your guess is as good as mine." He smiled.
"Mom did not leave a spellbook or any magical artifacts lying around the house, did she?" I laughed.
My father suddenly was thinking about something, "Actually... There might be some things you might want to take a look at." My eyes went wide.
"Wait, is there actually a spellbook? Are those real?" I nearly jumped out of my chair.
"No idea, her old stuff is all locked in a safe under the stairs. I'll let you know when I find the key." Dad thought before he scratched his head and continued, "About school... Laura, we should figure out how to enroll you at Thread Creek High."
"Oh," I deflated, "yeah, I was kind of avoiding thinking about that."
"You do want to attend classes as Laura, right?" He prodded.
"Yes, of course I do. How do I do that exactly?"
"We'll have to enroll you as Laura Loranger... as another family member," he said. The first name I had latched onto when combined with our last name did sound a bit silly when said out loud: like Laura twice with some extra sounds shoved on the end.
"Oh, that makes sense." I pondered, "What about all the homework and assignments I will be behind on?"
"I'll do a bit of research on an excuse they might accept. In the absolute worst case scenario, we can probably tell them the truth. I'm pretty sure someone in the school administration is aware of magic even in a town this small. It isn't fully a secret with how messy some events in the past have been." His intensity dropped as he continued further down this train of thought. Lenny looked like he was remembering something that did not sit quite right with him. After a moment he continued, "I'll go to school with you Monday morning and help take care of the details. Hopefully by second period you'll be all set, and you can go to class like nothing is different."
"Except that I am a girl now," I laughed, "Oh, and I will need to buy a bunch of clothes tomorrow."
"That's a good idea," He smirked, "Well young lady, did you finish your homework?"
"I will as soon as I am done with dinner," I beamed, "Thank you so much dad, I love you."