How selfish, how utter selfish, to not only, want to become one and fuse together, but to become the head of that one, the real one.
How selfish of Sub-Alex, it was pitiful, honestly outrageous, but, despite all of that, Sub-Alex was willing to do it, to go through with it, would he survive?
Would he live through the fuse?
He didn’t know, but, he knew what had to be done.
For once in his entire scattered existence of his life, Sub-Alex thought, his mind was unable to make thoughts before, but now was different,
Sub-Alex thought;
『 Am, I?
Really the one?
』 It was a lone thought, one of solace, but it was a thought nevertheless, and a thought Sub-Alex had made.
His question fell on deaf ears, in that moment, even if it was a lie, or an illusion, Sub-Alex really pondered whether he was truly ‘The One’ Would he really become the I, the self he so selfishly craved over?
With thinking for the first time, Sub-Alex regained something he should of never had, identity.
With thinking came thoughts, with thoughts came ideas, with ideas thoughts became actions, and with actions identity became thoughts.
It was something the subconscious should never have, Sub-Alex was slowly becoming aware of himself, slowly becoming, well, Alex.
『 Right… Dinner.
』 Sub-Alex thought again, almost like a robot he handed the action to the Sub-Sub-Alex who was slowly becoming the subconscious to Sub-Alex.
The chain of command grew, but Sub-Sub-Alex was nothing special, if anything he was slightly horrible at commanding the body.
Standing up, and slowly walking to the door, his feet curled slightly inwards as the angle adjusted, grasping the door handle.
It was clear from the very first few moments, the chain and been embedded so far deep that it was starting to wrap around it’self.
For reference, the chain was something like;
Cael owned the mind -> Alex owned the body -> Sub-Alex owned the subconscious.
However the chain had now became;
Cael was gone, he no longer owned the mind -> Sub-Alex took over the mind.
Alex’s body was swapped, Cael no longer had control -> Sub-Alex took over the body of Alex.
And even Sub-Alex was stepping up in the world, as the subconscious was handed to -> Sub-Sub-Alex.
As you can see the ‘chain’ was no longer, Sub-Alex was infecting the mind and body, squeezing every bit of control he could get.
This, well in Sub-Alex mind was for a good cause, to unite the shards of Self together, to become one, to become They.
Sub-Alex was looking down into his soup, his eyes where lost, his head had table.
Feeling the pressure of the many eyes though, Sub-Sub-Alex had retreated, to Sub-Alex this shift of environments happened instantly.
It was his first real time ‘skipping’ using the subconscious, raising his hands he looked at his palms and the back of his hands, fascinated by the power of the subconscious.
Sub-Alex, if he thought hard enough, could recall what had happened with the subconscious, this wasn’t as hard of a task.
Since the subconscious took over while Sub-Alex had basically laid back, this was a power everyone had possessed, but Sub-Alex was the subconscious, so to him this felt extraordinarily strange and exciting.
“Ah, is the soup to hot? Alex?” Eveline said, she had caught Sub-Alex looking at his palms and thought the worse, Sub-Alex thought again, this time a dangerous smirk grew on his face;
『 Alex?
Ah, it feels so nice to be called such, she doesn’t even know who I am or who the shards of self are, yet she sees me as ‘Alex’ how sweet… 』 Sub-Alex had thought, almost like his first desire was born, the desire to cut out the many shards of self and live his days as Alex.
But that desire feel short of his goal, if anything it had gotten in the way, but for a sliver of a moment Sub-Alex had thought about living as
Alex.
“Do you want me to fetch the cold water, Alex?” Tiffen added, slowly where
Sub-Alex was adjusted, he saw the wooden table, the solid door.
The many items around the house, the lone candle set ablaze in the middle of the table, Tiffen was to his direct right, she looked out for concern.
Roland was opposite him, his head was low and his eyes was stuck on the soup in front of him, Eveline was beside Roland, she had her arms on
Roland’s back, but also gave that look of concern to Alex.
Roland was slightly shaken form the weird experience of Alex, and after there talk, Roland had told Eveline and Tiffen what had happened.
They where also concerned for Alex, but Roland left out the details about his mana leaking, this is what had shaken Roland to the core.
Alex was so calm and nice, yet he was actively leaking mana, even at the table he was doing it this very second, Tiffen and Eveline where oblivious to this detail of mana leaking. mind, she was correct in knowing something bigger was at play, something that drove Roland to be this scared and worried.
But ultimately it was a guess, and she wouldn’t dare tell anyone else what she was thinking,
Eveline however had taken a more practical approach.
Eveline thought the situation Alex was in was maybe a depressing factor, and seeing his son this way would drive Roland to be like this, so safe to say three very different mind arrived at very different conclusions.
However, the most interesting mind was that of Sub-Alex, after all Sub-Alex wanted to unite his mind, liberate all the shards of self, becoming They.
A daunting task, especially considering Sub-Alex’s position, grabbing onto a spoon Sub-Alex spoke;
“No, don’t worry about that, I thought I felt a bug or something, but I really am fine, I am fine, I am fine.” Sub-Alex was still thinking about what would become of him, what would he turn into after the fuse, would he still be Sub-Alex?
Or would he become Alex, or maybe the shards after being liberated will all become They, instead of becoming one, they might become all, becoming a one of all.
This deep thought made Alex look like he was on the brink of zoning out, his hands where slightly shaky as they moved around in circles in the soup.
Slowly scraping the bottom of his bowl, around and around, again and again, his head draped down, again and again.
Thoughts where amazing, for the first few times Sub-Alex valued this new experience, however thoughts started to plague Sub-Alex, thoughts and thoughts, many ran wild in his head, he owned the mind and was not yet accustom to it’s tricks.
The mind was a horrible space, one of many thoughts and feelings, but most importunately one of freedom.
Anything, Everything, nothing would escape the mind, for it could imagine the impossible, it could feel and simulate everything this world had to offer, the mind was truly a world in of it’self.
Everything also encompasses Nothing, and with Nothing, the feeling of They drew closer, every bone, every fiber of Sub-Alex’s body and mind told him to run.
And to not submit openly to the very thought of They, but it was already to late, Sub-Alex was already handing out his control equally, his mouth twitch wider, was it happiness or fear the drew him to smile?
We will never know, at least not now…
Sub-Alex lost track of time, his posture and manners where alike to Roland, slowly, again and again, mixing his soup with his spoon, around and around, again and again.
Time came closer, the void felt softer, his mind was shattering, splitting it’self openly to allow for the other shard’s of self to join him.
No longer was Alex, Alex,
No longer was Sub-Alex, Alex,
No longer was Cael, Alex at all.
It Was They…