"We’ll see," I said, tightening my fists as the flying cans turned into flying spikes. "Let’s get serious."
I could see her eyes widen for a second, but her resolve came back with a quick breath.
Glacia directed another blast of freezing air around the spikes, encasing them in ice and sending them plummeting to the ground, too heavy to remain airborne.
Most of them, anyway.
She missed several, which flew at her in a group. She had to make a somewhat awkward swerve in the air to avoid them, but she still smiled confidently.
Until one smacked her in the back of the head. Blunt end, of course. Couldn’t lobotomize my students in training.
"Ah!" she gasped, thrown off balance. She tumbled through the air, landing on the pillar of ice before sliding down it in a tumble.
"Always watch your back," I said, a gesture bringing up the can that hit her. "A lot is going to be happening during an encounter. You need to be aware of everything going on.
Some civvie might want to play hero and pull a gun to shoot you from behind.
An attack can come from anywhere, not just the dumbass in spandex in front of you. Practice and reflexes will save you in those times."
Getting back onto her feet, Glacia was blushing with embarrassment. "I... I understand, sir," she said.
I nodded. "But that said, you did well," I added. "Though your output is impressive, your control might need a bit of fine tuning. The more you can do with your powers, the better."
"As you say, sir," she said.
"Good. Now, let’s get back to it."
We practiced for the rest of the morning, and I could already start seeing the improvements.
I still hit her with some pieces as she flew about, but she became more aware of them as we went on.
Soon, she was able to dodge and weave in the air, evading the projectiles with more ease than I expected.
"Good," I said, dropping the remaining cans to the ground. "Very good. And getting better. You’ll be ready to deal with the combat, I think, but we should also go over the presentation of villainy."
"Presentation, sir?" Glacia asked as she drifted to the ground, her coat fluttering as it settled and the chill wind died.
"Yes. Presentation! If you truly want to menace your enemies, you have to present yourself appropriately.
If you try and come off as an evil queen, but act more like a cockney bitch, people will notice, and that’ll mark you.
Likewise, trying to sound cultured while acting like a thug will confuse your audience. You want a consistent image you’re presenting, and try to make it as authentic as possible."
"I see," Glacia said, nodding along seriously. Again her notepad made an appearance, her pen eagerly scribbling things down. "What would you say my theme should be, sir?"
"That largely depends on your protagonist," I said. "Evil opposite, class warfare, muscle versus brains. For you... I’d say evil queen is probably the best angle to work with."
"I agree, sir," Glacia said at once. "Miss Lacey said I hit all the proper haughty notes, and that I would come off as appropriately arrogant and condescending."
"Well, she would know," I said drily, though I had to admit Glacia hadn’t exactly been sending those vibes thus far.
She struck me more as an eager puppy than some ice-cold bitch. But then, I did sense a certain rigidity in thought and pride in her that would really turn on the simps in the right way. The style of her dress would only further it.
I felt my phone vibrate and pulled it out, spotting a message from Steve with an attached address.
I couldn’t help but raise a brow. Really? That was going to be interesting... "Alright," I said as I stowed away my phone, "I think that’s good for today."
"You do, sir?" Glacia asked.
"Yeah. I have to go meet Steve and his sister."
"Ah, yes. Of course, sir. She may prove an excellent villain," Glacia said.
"I suppose," I sighed. "Come on. I’d better get this over with."
"You don’t want her as a protégé, sir?" Glacia asked.
"I didn’t want any of this," I said with an impatient wave, heading back across the railyard and towards the car. "Sidekicks, training, henchmen, it’s all a pain. I just want a quiet life of being at home, watching tv, and battling superheroes for fun and money."
"That seems a shame, sir," Glacia said, jogging quickly after me. "I suspect you would make an excellent leader."
That was a new one. I gave her a sceptical look, but Glacia’s earnestness didn’t seem feigned.
I doubted she could fake it, really. She was terrible at hiding her emotions. "Maybe," I conceded. "I never thought much about it. That kind of work gets complicated. Draws in all the wackos.
Normally, villain team-ups are for rogue galleries ganging up on some lone hero who keeps thwarting them. Or something like the Order."
"But what if you were to, sir?’ Glacia asked quickly. "Surely you’ve considered it. I believe if you truly wanted to, many villains would flock to your side."
I shrugged. "To do what? I’m not interested in taking over the world. Hell, I don’t even want to take over a city! Not my style."
"I suppose so. But it seems a waste, if you don’t mind me saying, sir."
"You’re starting to sound like that Order recruiter."
Glacia flinched. "I’m sorry, sir," she said, looking down at her feet. "I didn’t mean anything like that."
Aw dammit. I didn’t mean to make her upset. I sighed, running a hand through my hair.
This was why it was so tough to get a girlfriend. Well, that and the whole villain thing.
Don’t get me wrong, many are attracted to the villain lifestyle, and not only for the leather and alpha vibes. But most women who want to date a villain are more psycho than a schizophrenic cat.
Your average supervillainess may look like a bombshell, but she’s equally liable to go off like one, or try and drag you into a battle against her nemesis, only to develop feelings for the hero and ditch you.
Never happened to me, but I’ve seen it too many times to risk it. Not to mention then you get some weird spiral of revenge schtick from the jilted lover.
And don’t even get me started on breaking up with a supervillainess.
I shuddered. I’d done that before—anf I’m not even talking about the chick who threw a knife at me—and the fallout made the Bikini Atoll look like a pleasant vacation spot.
"I... look," I said. "It’s fine. I just prefer to work alone. It makes things easier for everyone."
"As you say, sir."
I could tell she wanted to say more, but kept quiet, my own point leaving little room for argument.
And I’d be the first to admit I had considered getting a villain crew together.
Only briefly, and mostly as a mental exercise, but there were always too many issues to address. So though she may have a point, I wasn’t about to entertain it. I had a lot on my mind.
And was about to have even more.