His last conversation with Cheng Xiang ended on a sour note.
No matter what he said, Cheng Xiang absolutely refused to perform the procedure. The look in his eyes was as if he were staring at something completely irrational.
“Shen Jiyuan, are you insane? If you do the surgery now, you’ll die!”
Was he the insane one, or was Cheng Xiang insane? Did Cheng Xiang seriously believe he could give birth to this child?
Shen Jiyuan was furious to the extreme. He felt as though he were trapped in a deeply absurd dream—so unbelievable it made him want to laugh.
Not do the surgery? What other choice did he have?!
Was he supposed to carry the pregnancy for ten months and give birth? How could that be possible—never mind how a man could even be pregnant, how was he supposed to face other people? How would he face those around him?
What would happen to his life after that?
He couldn’t accept it—he couldn’t imagine it—he couldn’t face such a possibility!
“Shen Jiyuan, calm down! After some time, we can—”
“No! I can’t wait!”
A sharp voice tore out from his chest. He could hardly believe it came from himself.
How long was he supposed to wait? Why couldn’t he have the abortion?!
He just wanted to get rid of this child. His body belonged to him—did he not even have the right to decide for himself?
“No matter which doctor you go to, the answer will be the same. Shen Jiyuan, your body right now cannot withstand surgery!”
“What do you mean cannot, why can’t I?!”
“Shen Jiyuan, don’t drag me down with your madness! Have you even thought about what will happen if you die on the operating table? And honestly, if you knew things would turn out like this, why did you even—”
Cheng Xiang abruptly stopped talking.
Shen Jiyuan’s face instantly lost all color. His body swayed, and he grabbed the desk for support. His knuckles turned white, and his fingers trembled violently.
Even though Cheng Xiang didn’t finish the sentence, both of them knew exactly what he almost said:
“If you knew things would end up like this, why did you let yourself get pregnant in the first place—”
He didn’t understand either. He couldn’t understand.
What was he supposed to admit—that as a man, he’d not only become pregnant, but also because he was forced? That he was carrying the child of a woman whose name he didn’t even know?
No… it wasn’t even certain he had been forced…
Shen Jiyuan’s lips trembled. His whole body felt weak. If he weren’t holding onto the table, he might have collapsed.
Because the truth was… he had wanted something to happen with that woman. It should have been a normal one-night stand—just the most reckless impulse in his twenty-four years of life. He never expected the aftermath to spiral into this nightmare.
So if not for his own—
Cheng Xiang realized he had said the wrong thing. He frowned, annoyed with himself, and after a few awkward seconds, reached out to steady Shen Jiyuan. “I didn’t mean that.”
Shen Jiyuan shoved him away and punched him hard, then turned and left.
If he hadn’t drunk the drugged wine that night… if he hadn’t gone to that hotel… would everything have been different?
If, the moment he saw the woman sitting on his bed, he had refused her coldly and thrown her out—none of this would have happened.
Sitting in the luxury car, he watched the scenery blur past. His fingers trembled on his lap.
Why had he lost control that night? Was it the alcohol and the drugs clouding his mind? No, not just that.
Shen Jiyuan stared blankly at the car window.
In the reflection on the glass, he almost saw the woman’s face.
She was his type…
He couldn’t describe what he felt the moment their eyes met—his heart had skipped a beat he still couldn’t explain.
But none of that mattered now.
That brief spark had long been replaced by regret. Now, whenever he thought about that night in the dead of night, the hatred grew, layer upon layer, like spiderwebs tightening around him.
But beneath that hatred, at some unexpected moment, a flash of fear would flicker—quick and sharp like a falling star.
Why couldn’t he find her no matter how hard he searched?
Why did the hotel surveillance capture nothing of her?
Why did the rivals who had drugged his drink never mention her at all?
Aside from the paper slip she left behind, and the child growing in his stomach, there was nothing to prove she had ever existed.
What was that woman?
Was she even human?
What had happened to him no longer made sense. Being bewitched—that was the only explanation for losing his mind like that.
He had thought that night was the lowest point of his life. He hadn’t realized it was only the beginning.
Shen Jiyuan felt utterly hopeless.
He was a perfectionist—a man who needed strict control over every detail, who couldn’t tolerate the slightest deviation from his plans.
Now everything had spiraled completely beyond control.
Unimaginable incidents kept happening one after another. It was driving him mad—questioning whether he was losing his sanity. For the first time in his life, he experienced deep, bone-chilling fear.
Cheng Xiang said he couldn’t abort the child…
The child wasn’t even a fully-formed life—only two months old, barely more than a cluster of cells. And yet it had him completely trapped?
If he tried to terminate it… he might die?
Absurd. Ridiculous. Impossible. More laughable than a garbage-tier novel plot.
He just didn’t want to give birth to a monster—why was even that impossible…
Sitting in the car, his hands clenched tighter, wrinkling the immaculate suit pants on his knees.
His phone vibrated nonstop—Cheng Xiang’s messages kept coming.
It took a long time before Shen Jiyuan finally unlocked the screen.
[What I said earlier wasn’t what I meant.]
[I meant—if you had decided to abort the child, why did you let your body deteriorate like this? Shen Jiyuan, do you understand how bad your condition is right now?]
Message after message.
The glowing screen blurred before his eyes. His pupils contracted. The words no longer made sense.
Cheng Xiang said his current physical condition was extremely poor—that performing an abortion on a man was already unprecedented and far too dangerous. He couldn’t risk killing him.
His health used to be excellent.
And this sudden deterioration had nothing to do with the pregnancy. If he had already decided on the abortion, why push his body to this state?
Shen Jiyuan stared at the phone, unable to move.
A month ago, he had fallen seriously ill—high fever that wouldn’t break. That was shortly after he returned from the hotel.
He had refused treatment then. Refused examination. He endured it for a full week before barely recovering.
So… everything was his own fault.
It was because of him that the abortion was no longer possible.
Shen Jiyuan felt as if he had been struck by lightning. His eyes were dry. He stared blankly at the screen, unable to even cry.
He had a work appointment in an hour, but he was far too exhausted. He didn’t want to face anything anymore.
He told the driver to take him back home.
For the first time in his life, he skipped work for no reason and didn’t inform anyone.
From the entrance courtyard to the main hall, everything was completely quiet. He planned to avoid drawing attention and quietly return to his room, but just as he walked through the main hall, he heard lively voices.
“How about this one? It looks beautiful, right?”
“Or maybe this one is better?”
It was his mother’s voice, and she seemed to be on a video call with someone, the atmosphere lively and cheerful.
The moment he heard that familiar tone of conversation, Shen Jiyuan had a bad feeling. He walked over silently, and sure enough—his mother was sitting on the sofa with a large pile of photos spread across the table, picking through them one by one.
The instant he saw this scene, his chest tightened painfully. He walked over quickly. “Mom, what are you doing?”
The moment Mother Shen saw him, she hurriedly gathered up the photos. “Jiyuan, why are you home at this hour?”
“What were you doing just now?”
Shen Jiyuan’s eyes were red as he growled the words out. Only when he became aware of it did he realize his mother was staring at him in shock.
He had actually lost control like this…
His mood plunged to the bottom. His chest heaved and he couldn’t squeeze out a single word.
Even without seeing the photos, he knew what she was doing—once again looking at blind date profiles! Wanting him to get married again! Wanting him to have children!
In the past, he would be annoyed but at most show impatience. He had a good relationship with his family and was naturally reserved—so even if he disliked this sort of thing, he had never contradicted his mother to her face.
But right now—he just couldn’t control his emotions anymore!
Was an heir really that important?!
That sentence boiled in his heart, scalding his chest until it felt like it was about to bleed. His eyes burned hot, moisture gathering at his lashes.
How could his mother possibly know that the heir she dreamed about day and night… was already inside his belly right now!
She nagged him endlessly to get married—was his purpose in life simply to produce children? Since he already had one inside him, would giving birth to it free him from everything?
Shen Jiyuan’s tears finally burst out uncontrollably. Completely breaking down, he no longer cared about anything and walked away, leaving his stunned mother behind.
Back in his room, tears rolled past his chin. He removed his glasses and let the tears fall freely.
It was as if, ever since that night—ever since she forced his body to shed those uncontrollable physiological tears—he had been crying constantly.
He hadn’t cried this much in over twenty years.
Shen Jiyuan covered his face with his hands. Hot tears overflowed, steaming against his fingers.
He couldn’t hold on anymore… The nonstop accidents, the pressure crushing in from all sides, and on top of the devastating blows, the final straw—
His mother urging him to get married again, pouring oil onto the already shattered remains of his mental state.
At this point, he was entirely hopeless. He could no longer feel any reason to keep living.
He barely rested for a moment before he got up and rummaged through his room. Because of his recent insomnia, the doctor had prescribed sleeping pills.
If he couldn’t separate himself from the life in his belly… then he only had one choice left.
He swallowed the pills with hot water, his expression blank. But a sudden powerful wave of nausea surged up, and he rushed into the bathroom, vomiting violently.
When he came out of the bathroom, he heard a knock. Mother Shen was lingering outside his door. When he opened it, she saw his deathly pale face and was startled again.
“Jiyuan, what happened to you today?” She examined him anxiously. “Are you feeling unwell again?”
Shen Jiyuan shook his head faintly.
After making his decision, he strangely felt lighter. The suffocating helplessness was gone, replaced by a strange calm—though he still felt guilty facing his mother.
“Sorry, Mom. I shouldn’t have yelled at you earlier.” He paused, choosing his words carefully. “I’ve been… in a bad state lately.”
“I can see that.” Mother Shen shook her head slightly. It was clear she was also choosing her words with effort. “I wasn’t looking at blind date photos for you just now…”
Jiyuan, who had steeled himself to remain calm, still froze for a second. “…Then what were they?”
His mother silently placed the photos onto the table.
Dozens of photographs of various luxurious villas, all extravagant and beautifully designed.
“These are several estates I bought in F country…” her voice lowered. “I planned to give them to you as gifts, a surprise…”
Recently, Jiyuan had looked exhausted. He tried to hide it, but as his mother, she could see it clearly.
He had always been terrible at expressing his feelings. Even if she asked, he would never tell her the truth.
Worried for him, she bought several estates overseas, hoping he could relax and stop pushing himself so hard.
She never expected that just while she was sorting through the photos, Jiyuan would come home—and then lash out emotionally for some unknown reason.
Seeing his reaction earlier, her worry grew. A mother’s intuition told her that she needed to explain immediately, or something irreversible might happen.
“Jiyuan, what’s wrong? Why did you suddenly come home at this time—are you feeling sick?”
He stayed silent for a long time—so long she became visibly uneasy—until he finally lifted his face.
He stared at his mother for a very long time, his pale lips trembling. Only after forever did he finally speak, voice shaking.
“…I really am a bit unwell.”
His mother immediately panicked. “Unwell? Where? What’s wrong?”
He lowered his eyes and put his glasses back on. “I’m already much better. Don’t worry.”
“And… I’m sorry for losing my temper earlier.”
Mother Shen frowned. “You already apologized before.”
“……”
He didn’t explain further. He only went quiet, his dark eyelashes lowering, hiding the shattered glimmer in his eyes.
“I think… my condition really isn’t very good lately. I do need some time to rest.”
A month later, he left the country alone.