"It is the ultimate greeting of youth!" Lee declared, giving a thumbs up. His teeth sparkled with an inexplicable gleam. "Naruto-kun! I see you are training with the flames of passion! And you have learned the Shadow Clone Jutsu! Fight me!"
I looked at Team Guy. This was a goldmine.
"System," I thought. ("Scan Tenten.")
"Scanning..." The System hummed. "Target Identified: Tenten. Status: Single. Weapon Specialist. High probability of 'Bondage' or 'Snagging' events due to excessive equipment."
("Excellent.")
"Hello, Lee," I said. "I am a bit busy training, but..."
My eyes drifted to Neji. He was looking at Hinata with that cold, arrogant stare he had in Part One of the series.
"Lady Hinata," Neji said, his voice dripping with condescension. "Playing ninja again? You should be at the compound, not embarrassing the main branch by running around in... whatever that is you are wearing."
Hinata flinched, stepping back. "Neji-niisan..."
"Hey!" I stepped forward, my clones bristling. "Watch your mouth, Neji. She is training harder than you think."
Neji smirked. "Hard work is meaningless in the face of destiny. A failure is always a failure."
"That is it," I snapped. "Lee, I accept your challenge. But make it a free-for-all. Team Seven versus Team Guy."
"YES!" Lee cried, tears of joy streaming down his face. "Such youthful vigor!"
"Wait, I didn't agree to this," Tenten protested.
"Too late!" Lee charged.
Chaos erupted.
Lee went for me. My clones swarmed him. Neji, seeing an opening, dashed toward Hinata, likely intending to disable her with the Gentle Fist to prove a point. Tenten leaped back, reaching for a massive scroll strapped to her back.
"Rising Dragon Control!" Tenten shouted.
She threw the scroll into the air. It unrolled, spinning around her like a ribbon. Hundreds of weapons—kunai, shuriken, bo staffs—hovered in the air, ready to launch.
"Warning," the System announced. "Multiple Hazard Objects Detected. High-Speed Movement Detected. Initiating Rito Effect: The Weaponized Wardrobe Malfunction."
It started with Lee.
Rock Lee spun a roundhouse kick, aiming for a group of my clones. He missed the clones but hit the tree behind them. The impact shook the tree.
A large, heavy branch snapped off.
It fell directly onto one of Tenten’s suspended wires that was controlling her weapons.
"Hey!" Tenten yelped as the wire jerked.
The tension on the wire threw off her aim. Instead of launching weapons at my clones, a cascade of blunt wooden staffs and dull training swords rained down on the clearing.
One of the bo staffs hit the ground, bounced, and spun like a helicopter blade toward Hinata’s legs.
Hinata was currently in her Gentle Fist stance, facing Neji.
"Too slow," Neji said, thrusting his palm toward her shoulder.
"Look out!" I shouted.
Hinata saw the spinning staff coming for her ankles. She tried to jump.
However, the "Rito Effect" intervened. As she jumped, the hem of her fishnet stocking caught on the protruding handle of a fallen kunai.
She didn't jump up. She pivoted.
She fell forward with significant velocity.
Neji, anticipating a strike, had his Byakugan active and his palms extended. He saw her falling. His instinct was to block.
But Hinata slipped under his guard.
She tackled him.
Because Neji was standing firm in a horse stance, he didn't fall over immediately. Instead, Hinata slammed into his chest, her arms wrapping around his waist to catch herself. Her face buried itself into his shirt.
But the momentum was too much. Neji stumbled back. His heel caught a tree root.
They both went down.
Neji landed on his back. Hinata landed on top of him, straddling his hips perfectly.
But it didn't stop there.
Tenten, trying to regain control of her weapons, ran forward. "Stop! My wires are tangled!"
She didn't see the tripwire that her own scroll had created when it fell.
Tenten tripped. She flew through the air, landing on top of the pile.
However, because she was surrounded by wires and chains from her summons, when she landed, the wires constricted.
The scene that settled in the clearing was a masterpiece of accidental art.
Neji Hyuga, the prodigy, was lying on the ground. Hinata was straddling his waist, looking mortified. Tenten was lying across Neji’s chest and Hinata’s legs, wrapped tightly in steel wire like a chaotic Christmas present.
From the outside, it looked like a very twisted, very forbidden Hyuga family sandwich with a side of Tenten bondage.
"Netorare Situation Detected!" The System screamed in delight. "The 'Taboo Cousin Pile-Up' combined with 'Accidental Bondage.' Ultra Rare Combo! Shy Points Gained: Four Thousand."
("Four thousand?!") I mentally high-fived myself. ("Neji creates high-value awkwardness because he is so serious!")
"Get... off... me!" Neji hissed, his face turning a color that did not match his stoic personality. He couldn't move because Tenten’s wires had pinned his arms to his sides. "This is... undignified!"
"I am stuck!" Tenten wailed, struggling against the wires. Every time she moved, the wires tightened, pulling her chest closer to Neji’s face.
"Don't move!" Neji panicked. "You are too close!"
Hinata was frozen, her hands resting on Neji’s chest. "Neji-niisan... I... I am sorry! The staff... the wire..."
"Destiny..." Neji choked out. "Destiny hates me."
Rock Lee stopped fighting my clones. He stared at the pile with wide eyes.
"Neji!" Lee gasped. "I did not know you and Tenten and Hinata had such a... passionate relationship! You are truly enjoying the springtime of youth!"
"We are not!" Neji roared. "Naruto! Do something!"
I walked over, dismissing my clones. I tried to look solemn, but inside I was counting my points.
"Neji," I said, shaking my head. "I told you not to underestimate her. She took you down and neutralized your teammate in one move. That is the power of the Main Branch."
"This is not a technique!" Neji yelled. "It is a disaster!"
"System," I thought. ("Purchase 'Wire Cutting Kunai' from the shop. 50 points.")
"Purchased."
I pulled out the kunai. "Hold still. I will cut you out."
.....
...