"Room Three-Zero-One," Sakura said, checking the form. "Third floor."
We entered the Academy. The halls were packed with Genin from various villages. There were ninjas from the Hidden Rain, the Hidden Grass, and a few stoic-looking guys from the Hidden Waterfall. The air smelled of sweat, cheap hair gel, and teenage anxiety.
We walked up the stairs to the second floor. A massive crowd was gathered around a set of double doors. Two Genin were standing in front of the doors, blocking the way. They looked bruised and battered, claiming that the exams were too hard and everyone should just go home. Above the door, the sign read "301."
"This is it," a random ninja from the crowd shouted. "Let us through!"
He charged at the guards. One of the guards, a guy with a bandage on his nose (who I knew was actually the Chunin examiner Kotetsu in disguise), lashed out with a kick. The random ninja went flying back.
"Go home to your mommies!" the guard sneered. "The Chunin Exams will break you!"
Sakura frowned. "What is going on? Why is there a fight?"
"It is a genjutsu," Sasuke said coolly. "This is only the second floor. They changed the room number sign with an illusion."
"Correct," I said. "Smart, Sasuke. Very smart."
"Hmph." Sasuke smirked. "Let's go."
He stepped forward, intending to walk past the guards and head to the third floor.
"Not so fast, pretty boy!" the second guard (Izumo in disguise) shouted. He threw a punch aimed at Sasuke’s face.
In the original timeline, Rock Lee would step in and block this kick. But today, the timeline had a new variable: The System.
"Warning," the System announced in my head. "Crowded Hallway detected. Hostile Male Targets: Two Gatekeepers. High 'Public Humiliation' Potential. Initiating Rito Effect: The Human Battering Ram."
As Sasuke stepped forward, Hinata, who was walking slightly behind him to hide from the crowd’s gaze, got caught in the flow of traffic.
A large ninja from the Hidden Rain pushed past her.
"Move it, girl!"
The shove wasn't hard, but for Hinata under the influence of the buff, it was catastrophic.
She stumbled forward. Her foot caught on the edge of the hallway rug.
"Ah!" she gasped.
She fell forward, gaining speed. She was on a collision course with the guard (Izumo) who was currently winding up a punch at Sasuke.
"Hinata, stop!" I yelled, though I knew it was futile.
Hinata didn't just fall; she slid. The smooth linoleum floor of the Academy acted like an ice rink. She slid right between Sasuke’s legs (causing him to jump in surprise) and headed straight for the guard.
The guard saw a blur coming at his ankles. He tried to jump.
He failed.
Hinata slammed into his shins like a bowling ball hitting pins.
"Whoa!" the guard yelled.
His legs were swept out from under him. He fell backward.
But here is the twist. The second guard (Kotetsu) tried to catch his partner.
"I got you!"
He didn't get him.
Izumo crashed into Kotetsu. They both tumbled backward through the double doors they were guarding.
Hinata, whose momentum hadn't stopped, slid over their fallen bodies.
As the dust settled, the scene was a masterpiece of slapstick tragedy.
The two guards were lying in a tangled heap on the floor inside the classroom. Hinata had come to a stop on top of them. Specifically, she was sitting on Kotetsu’s chest, while her legs were draped over Izumo’s face.
To make matters worse, her translucent coat had billowed up and settled over the guards' heads like a wedding veil, effectively trapping them in a tent of white fabric with her.
From the outside, all the crowd could see was Hinata sitting on a pile of groaning men, covered by a mysterious sheet.
"Mmph! Get off!" Izumo’s muffled voice came from under her leg.
"I can't see!" Kotetsu yelled from under the coat.
"Netorare Situation Detected!" The System chimed happily. "The 'Gatekeeper Sandwich' Event. Public Spectacle Bonus! Shy Points Gained: One Thousand Five Hundred."
The entire hallway went silent. The Genin who had been blocked from entering stared with wide eyes.
"Did... did that girl just take out the gatekeepers?" someone whispered.
"She used a slide tackle!" another whispered in awe. "Is that the Gentle Fist style?"
Sasuke stared at the pile. "Naruto. Your girlfriend is... effective."
I rushed forward, trying to suppress the grin that was threatening to split my face. "Hinata! Are you okay?"
I grabbed her hand and pulled her up. The coat fluttered back down, revealing the two dazed examiners. Their transformation jutsu wavered and broke, revealing them as the adult Chunin they actually were.
"The disguise!" Sakura gasped. "They were examiners!"
Kotetsu sat up, rubbing his head. He looked at Hinata, then at the crowd of terrified Genin. He realized his cover was blown, not by a keen intellect, but by a girl tripping over a rug.
"Well," Kotetsu sighed, standing up and dusting himself off. "Pass. You all pass the entrance test. The illusion is broken."
He looked at Hinata, who was currently hiding behind my back, trembling.
"You possess... a unique form of Taijutsu, young lady," Kotetsu said dryly. "Unpredictable. Dangerous."
"I am so sorry!" Hinata squeaked.
"Let's just go to the third floor," I said quickly, steering her away before she could apologize again and accidentally headbutt him.
We climbed the stairs to the real Room 301. Rock Lee was waiting there, along with Neji and Tenten. Lee looked at Hinata with renewed respect.
"That was magnificent!" Lee declared, giving a thumbs up. "You utilized the element of surprise! The slide was executed with youthful passion!"
"Please stop talking about it," Hinata whimpered.
We pushed open the doors to Room 301.
The room was large, resembling a lecture hall. It was filled with terrifying-looking people. There were scars, eyepatches, and enough killing intent to suffocate a civilian.
As we walked in, all eyes turned to us.
"System," I thought nervously. ("Assessment.")
.....
...