“Xiao Yezi, hurry up and wash these clothes, the Imperial Guards are still waiting to wear them.”
The Chief Steward urged from behind Ye Han with a delicate, curled finger, and if she was even a little slow, he would kick her in the butt.
Ye Han rubbed her own butt and turned back angrily: “Can you stop kicking me all the time!”
“Who told you to work like a woman, so slow and sloppy.” The Chief Steward lifted his foot and was about to kick again, but Ye Han dodged, and he missed completely, nearly doing the splits on the ground.
The other palace maids and eunuchs nearby were snickering. In this place, only Ye Han dared talk back to the Chief Steward.
The Chief Steward was so angry he didn’t even keep his delicate finger raised anymore. Pointing at Ye Han, he said, “Y-y-you… such nerve… you even dare dodge… just you wait, I’ll kick you to death…”
Ye Han ran while shouting, “You’re already so old, just take a break, don’t pull your back!”
After running around in a big circle, the eunuch really did get tired. Holding his lower back, he shuffled off slowly.
A little eunuch came over and patted Ye Han on the shoulder. “You’re pretty capable, kid. Ever since you came here, it’s either been talking back to him or making him chase you in circles, and every time he’s half dead by the end. It’s been so satisfying to watch.”
“Yeah, yeah, Xiao Yezi is amazing!”
A few palace maids looked at her with admiration. Two of them even gazed at her with a bit of fangirl excitement.
But no matter how capable she was, she was still just a lowly eunuch…
Ye Han had been here for several days, doing nothing but working and getting kicked. The food was coarse grain, and sometimes it was even spoiled. She had already lost several pounds. They really did not treat eunuchs like people. Suffering was one thing, but the key problem was that when she first came, she had forgotten to ask that woman exactly who she was supposed to bring back, when she could go back, or what would happen if that person refused to return with her. She had come through so muddled that she had not asked any of the important questions, and now she did not even have a shred of hope.
Seeing her a little discouraged, the little eunuch comforted her kindly, “With your brains and talent, you’ll definitely make something of yourself. I’m rooting for you. Just don’t forget us brothers when the time comes.”
Ye Han looked at the palace maids and eunuchs around her. They were all in their teens. These days, they really had looked after her, not once using their seniority to bully her. Maybe they were all children from poor families, because every one of them was so honest and plain-spoken.
“Don’t worry. Once I make it big, I definitely won’t forget any of you.” Ye Han said with complete resolve.
“All right, all right. You’ve finished blowing your horn, now go deliver the clothes.”
Ye Han and the others picked up the cooled Imperial Guard uniforms and sent them off to the guards who had not yet started their shift. Halfway there, they ran into several consorts, and all the way along they had to keep kneeling and paying respects. Inwardly, Ye Han complained, Ancient times are terrifying. You have to kneel at the drop of a hat. My knees are going to get calluses from all this kneeling…
Just after standing up and rubbing her knees, another consort appeared, and Ye Han knelt again in pain. This is never ending.
Bai Qing wore her court dress and stepped in flower-pot heels, swaying as she walked. She had come to the palace for three years, and she still hated those sky-high shoes. They rubbed her feet raw and were hard to walk in.
“For lunch today, I want something spicy. If the imperial cook in the side kitchen still can’t make it as spicy as I want, then get him lost.” As soon as Bai Qing swore, the palace maid beside her hurriedly reminded her, “Your Highness, there are still so many people here. Don’t let anyone hear you and spread gossip…”
Bai Qing looked down at the palace maids and eunuchs kneeling all over the ground and said carelessly, “Let me see who dares…”
Ye Han, though she was kneeling every time and rarely got to see the consorts’ true faces, had always noticed that when they spoke, they were gentle and soft-spoken, their voices very low. This consort today not only had a loud voice but also swore, which made Ye Han curious. She boldly lifted her head, wanting to catch a glimpse of her face.
Bai Qing happened to pass by Ye Han just then. Seeing her raise her head, she was a little surprised. The two of them met eyes for a few seconds, and Bai Qing felt that this little eunuch looked completely different from the women in the palace. The women in the palace, from the consorts down to the palace maids, all had soft, elegant features and a classical air about them. But this little eunuch’s features were bright and lively, full of youthful energy. Could she not be from here…
“How dare you! Who allowed you to lift your head and meet Your Highness’s gaze!”
Ye Han was so startled by the palace maid beside Bai Qing that she quickly lowered her head again. Bai Qing waved a hand. “It’s nothing…”
Only after a moment did Ye Han dare look up at Bai Qing’s retreating back. This consort seemed a little different, but she could not quite put her finger on why.
“Who was that just now…”
The palace maid leaned close to Ye Han’s ear and whispered, “That was Consort Qing. She’s not especially favored, but the Empress likes her a lot, so no one really dares to provoke her. Next time, don’t keep raising your head to look at the masters. If any of them gets unhappy, you’ll be beaten with boards.”
The moment Ye Han heard about being beaten with boards, she immediately reached to rub her butt. “Got it, got it.”
Inside Fanghua Hall
Bai Qing ate the midday meal just brought in, but it did not suit her taste at all. She had asked for the imperial cook to make it spicy, and after several tries it only had the slightest hint of heat. It was nowhere near spicy enough. The palace’s food was generally bland, and for someone like her who could not live without chili, it was practically torture. Maybe she was homesick. These days, all she wanted was spicy food, the kind so hot it made her sweat.
Bai Qing could not stand it any longer and summoned a palace maid inside. “Give you three days to find an imperial cook who can make food that suits my taste. No matter which palace they’re from, go borrow them for me. If anyone refuses, I’ll go find the Empress.”
The palace maid was clearly used to her master acting this way, and she answered “Yes” before preparing to withdraw. Bai Qing added, “It doesn’t have to be an imperial cook. Anyone will do. A palace maid or eunuch is fine too. If they can make it, I’ll reward them…”
This news quickly spread through the entire harem, and several consorts were whispering behind her back. Truly, a nobody who had gained a little favor and thought she could act so wildly just because the Empress backed her. She was even speaking outrageous words, saying that no matter which palace the imperial cook came from, they had to come and obey her. Several cooks were given a death order: no matter whether they could make it or not, they were not to go. Even if they could make it, they had to pretend they couldn’t.
The cooks looked at one another. In truth, they wanted to make it, but they did not dare. Some chilies were spicy, but they were forbidden ingredients, because the consorts might not be able to handle them and their stomachs could get upset. A much bigger reason was that they felt Consort Qing, who liked spicy food, did not think anything was spicy at all.
This news naturally reached the palace maids and eunuchs as well. A low-ranking eunuch named Xiao Lizi was gasping as he ran over to the crowd. “Have you heard? Whoever can make food spicy enough, spicy enough to make Consort Qing sweat, will get a reward…”
“Ah, what does that have to do with us? We’re not imperial cooks. We don’t know how to cook. Just work hard and don’t… daydream.”
The palace maids and eunuchs were not interested in this news at all, and no one dared volunteer to go in front of a consort and say they could make her sweat from the spice.
One person could not sit still anymore.
“Forget making her sweat, I can make her cry from the spice!”
Everyone wanted to see who was so brazen.
Ye Han straightened her hat with one hand and stood on the wash platform. “My day to rise to the top is about to come!”
“You’re bragging… can you even cook?”
The palace maids and eunuchs clearly did not believe her. Only the few she was closest to came over and asked, “Are you sure? You might get beaten with boards for this.”
Ye Han was brimming with confidence. “Just watch, brothers…”
Ye Han was an action-first kind of person. As soon as she said it, she ran to the entrance of Fanghua Hall to request permission to cook for the consort, and even patted her chest, saying she was the only one in the palace who could make a consort feel the heat.
The palace maid carried the exact words back to Bai Qing. The moment Bai Qing heard them, her interest was piqued. She did not even sleep anymore, sitting on the couch and waiting for the person who could bring her to her knees with spice.
After being granted permission, Ye Han immediately ran to the side kitchen and told the imperial cooks to bring out every chili they had. She tasted them one by one. Some chilies were sweet, while some were truly hot, making her eyes water.
The imperial cook watched as she poured the spiciest chilies into a bowl and chopped them into tiny bits. She did not forget to boss the cook around either. “What are you standing there for? Help me start the fire.”
Watching the water in the pot slowly come to a boil, Ye Han then threw in every edible ingredient in the kitchen, things like greens, radish, fish, shrimp, and the like. When it was done, she dumped everything into the bowl already filled with chilies.
The imperial cook stared with widened eyes. “You… are you feeding pigs…”
Ye Han gave a sly smile. “Walls have ears, you know…”
Terrified, the cook slapped herself.
After that, Ye Han found even more chilies, chopped up a whole pile, and desperately sprinkled them on top, then added some star anise and fennel. In short, half the bowl was chili.
When she was done, Ye Han happily carried that enormous bowl of “food” and handed it to the palace maid beside Consort Qing. The imperial cook trembled in the corner. “It’s all over now. Can that thing even be eaten… Is that even for humans…”
The palace maid frowned as she carried the huge bowl to the table, then quickly moved far away from Bai Qing, afraid she might sneeze and blow it onto Consort Qing’s face.
Bai Qing picked up her chopsticks and took a bite, nearly choking to death. Aside from the choking heat and the spice, there was no other flavor. But it really did stir her appetite. After several bites in a row, she finally broke into a sweat, and even her eyes were stinging from the spice.
“Go… ask that eunuch what this dish is called…”
When the palace maid returned, she reported to her master, “He said it’s called… malatang… What a strange name. This servant has never heard of it…”
Bai Qing’s eyes widened. “Can malatang be made like that? She threw in everything. Quickly, let her come in…”
Ye Han came in happily and saluted. “This servant Ye Han pays respects to Your Highness. I wonder if this servant’s malatang suits Your Highness’s taste?”
Bai Qing said unhappily, “You call that malatang? Have you ever eaten malatang from a street stall? That’s the real thing.”
“This servant of course has eaten street st…”
Ye Han suddenly looked up. “How do you know… about street stalls… and… malatang…”
Bai Qing crouched down and held out her hand. On her fair index finger was a ring exactly the same as the one on Ye Han’s hand. Sensing the presence of the other ring, Ye Han’s ring suddenly lit up, and the two rings flashed back and forth like that.
“Get up. We’re on the same side, so stop kneeling all the time.”
Ye Han jumped up happily and hugged Bai Qing, spinning her around once, while shouting nonstop, “I found you so quickly, I really am a genius.”
Bai Qing pushed her away and raised an eyebrow. “Ji You sent you?”
Ye Han said, “Ah, that woman is called Ji You… She sent me here, telling me to take you back, so when are we leaving…”
Bai Qing turned the ring on her finger. “I don’t plan to leave yet…”
This sentence was like a bolt from a clear sky.
“What! You don’t plan to leave, then what about me! I still have to go back!”
Bai Qing said, “You can go back by yourself, but… not for another three years.”
Ye Han could not take it anymore. She sat on the floor and kicked her legs wildly. “You scammers, why didn’t you tell me!”
“Enough, stop throwing a tantrum.”
Bai Qing rubbed her temples. She found this woman unbearably noisy.
“Then did you ask clearly before you came here?”
Ye Han pouted. “No…”
Bai Qing said, “Then isn’t that settled? Who are you blaming.”
Ye Han said, “I wasn’t ready yet. This ring just whoosh and brought me here. Turns out the dramas were right after all, beautiful women really can’t be trusted…”