He didn’t have much expectation for the car purchase, mostly because he didn’t have enough money to buy something impressive; at least for the moment.
He probably would buy a proper drive in a month at most, so he wasn’t picky.
It was why he was in a shady dealer specializing in used cars.
If he was picking a car for a month, there was no need to buy something boring and sensible.
At worst, he’ll be stranded.
The dealer was on the outskirts of the city, a perfect mix of legitimate business and a scam, the lot filled with cars with sloppy new paint jobs to hide the rust and cosmetic damage, with ‘aspirational’ prices tacked onto the windshields.
It was a good place to test the Bargaining skill he picked up from Alan.
He was curious just how much it would help.
However, the biggest disadvantage of purchasing from a sleazy place, that he didn’t have a sexy woman in miniskirt trying to upsell him.
Instead, he dealt with a greasy salesman, trying to convince him that a 1996 Honda Civic with an odometer showing three hundred thousand, despite clear signs of being reset, was a good investment.
That awareness was a welcome bonus.
The skill description didn’t mention it, but Adept Driving apparently came with a general understanding of buying and fixing cars as well, enough to prevent him from being ripped.
“It’s too ugly for me,” Ethan waved him off.
“Why don’t you let me look around, and see if there’s something that catches my attention?
Then, we’ll talk.” The salesman looked insistent, but an angry glare sent him away, a benefit from Charisma.
He walked around, checking the cars, while he was interrupted.
“Now that one, that’s a classic.
A Subaru.
Old school.”
Ethan turned, finding the voice surprisingly familiar.
A reasonably tall, lean man in his forties, dressed in a way that suggested he’d been aiming for casual charm in a suit, and nailing it.
His smile was enormous.
Large and radiant like a fake salesman, yet somehow genuine.
Phil Dunphy.
Ethan recognized him immediately.
Claire’s husband.
Alex and Haley’s father.
The real estate agent who approached life with both the relentless positivity and social awareness of a golden retriever.
“A fan of classics?” Ethan asked.
“Always,” he said, extending his hand.
“Phil Dunphy, from Dunphy Real Estate.
If you ever need a house, I’m your guy.”
“Ethan.
I’m unemployed,” he responded.
“That’s coconut.
It’s called being open to opportunities,” Phil responded immediately.
He was a nice guy.
Ethan liked him, enough that he would have felt guilty about … defiling his daughters if he wasn’t also saving them a lifetime of mediocrity and disappointment.
At least he merely teased his wife rather than seducing her.
Lucky Phil.
“Thanks.
I already have a few projects underway.
That’s good progress since I arrived in LA last week.”
“That’s amazing,” Phil said.
“A go-getter attitude is key to success.”
He nodded.
“So, why are you here, Phil?
You dress too nicely to actually need to purchase a car from here.”
“I’m looking for a car for my son.
A gift that’s affordable enough that he doesn’t feel guilty if he scratches to a few places, but still cool.
You know how boys at seventeen can be.”
“Naturally.
Which means you’re not looking for something too cool, like a Mustang.”
“No.
It needs to be safe enough that my wife doesn’t kill me, cool enough that Luke doesn’t pretend it belongs to someone else.
It’s a narrow window.
A Mustang is too dangerous.”
“Any idea about which car to take?” he said.
Phil pointed at a silver Chevrolet Camaro.
“It looks good, and salesman swears that it’s reliable, but…”
“Let me check,” he said, and took the key from Phil and turned on the engine, listened a bit, and turned it off.
“Take my advice, skip it.
That engine is on life support.”
As they walked and chatted, Phil started to tell about his family, bragging about both his wife and kids.
He was a loving family man … which was why he was surprised when he noticed Phil looking very intently toward the legs of a beautiful young woman who had just arrived to complain about her car.
But then, maybe he shouldn’t be surprised.
Phil loved Claire … but all across the show, he had been famous for losing his speech whenever he came across a beautiful woman, whether he was alone or with his wife.
‘I got Gloria’ was his catchphrase for a long time.
In other words, Phil was an avid fan of window-shopping.
Amusingly, the same was true for Claire as well, with more than one episode focusing on her rather ‘enthusiastic’ flirting.
He didn’t say anything immediately, but approached the girl in question and chatted a bit, introducing himself as a photographer, floating the idea of a potential shoot if she was interested, and even made her do a couple of jumping jacks.
Poor Phil almost drooled.
But, when her phone rang, she retreated, and Ethan returned to Phil.
“What was that?” Phil gasped.
“I work as a photographer for a fashion startup,” he said.
“It’s a fun job.”
“I’ll say,” Phil muttered, fascinated in an amused way.
“So.
You’re married for almost, what, twenty-five years?” he asked.
“T-twenty-four,” Phil answered, flinching as he realized it was probably not appropriate to be looking at young women doing jumping jacks with such passion.
“Wow, fascinating that you’re going strong without getting bored and straying,” Ethan teased.
“It helps that I’m married to a strong, smart, and beautiful woman,” Phil declared proudly.
Ethan nodded, and they continued walking while chatting … and, the more they talked, the more Phil started to reveal some issues under his careful questioning.
Like how he was feeling in a rut, and being intimidated after Claire suddenly turned into a high-powered CEO with all the stress it brought, and the inevitable sense that he was missing the fun in his life.
Ethan didn’t talk much, but during the discussion, he carefully floated the idea of a hall pass a couple of times, never directly as a suggestion to him, but while mixed in tales about other people.
He was sure that he had managed to incept the idea in Phil’s mind.
He could have pushed him harder, and probably actually convinced him, but he didn’t.
Instead, he just gave him the idea, left the decision to him, and helped him pick a nice Mazda for Luke, and waved him away.
[Achievement complete.
Incept Phil Dunphy to ‘expand’ the bounds of his marriage.
Challenge: Medium]
[+5 Charisma
1 Random Silver Skill
1 Random Silver Reward]
Curious, he selected the silver skill.
[Intermediate Illusion]
[Uncommon Skill: You are an experienced illusionist.
You’re capable of pulling card tricks, misdirections, and other core illusionist tricks.]
He hummed, quite happy with the unexpected skill.
It was something Phil mostly used for gag tricks, but it was actually quite valuable, especially with his Agility.
Because if one could pull card tricks, one could cheat at a card game … not to mention, there were too many ways to actually use some sleight-of-hand trick for seduction.
And, as for giving Phil the idea, he didn’t feel guilty.
He actually believed that he did something good, as even in the last season, it was clear that Phil was struggling a bit with the way his life had changed, jumping at every single opportunity to add some spice to his life.
He just offered a better way.
While thinking, something else caught his gaze.
A nice Mustang from 90s, abandoned like a problem child.
It had been repainted, but abandoned in a corner.
He had guess that it had been recently purchased.
Curious, he flopped open the engine, and immediately caught a couple of obvious problems that a good mechanic would have caught.
But then, he was not in a place with good mechanics.
The price sticker said five thousand.
Ethan walked around it slowly, then asked for the key, which the salesman provided reluctantly.
The engine coughed several times, but the way it did confirmed his guess.
Fixing it would be easy, meaning the car was definitely worth double the price.
“It sounds amazing, like a car men drive,” Ethan said with naive enthusiasm.
“Too bad I can’t afford it.” Visit g.com for the full chapter.
“Really?
What’s your budget?” he said.
“Maybe we can look at the financing options.”
Ethan shook his head.
“No financing.
I promised my father that I’ll stay under two thousand.
The other five hundred is for a gift for my mother.”
Acting, Charisma, and Bargaining together were a devastating combination.
The salesman smiled like a shark, swallowing the story whole.
“I’m sure she’ll want you to have a better ride.
I’ll even drop the price to half, because you’re such a nice guy,” the salesman said, not optimistic about the car.
“Deal,” he said happily, still wearing that naive expression while he carefully went through the paperwork, and made sure there was no issue.
The salesman was equally through, wanting to cut the path of returning the car, confident that he was swindling him with a car that would die before arriving at the highway.
When he drove out of the car, the salesman looked as if he had just won a scratch-off lottery.
To be fair, he was afraid of the same as well.
Luckily, it survived traveling a mile, and then he pulled the side, made some small modifications in the engine that would ensure that it would survive until he could visit a shop where he could purchase the stuff he needed to fix the car.
Then, he returned to his building and started working at the engine, the problems solved one by one…
Three hours later, Haley and Penny walked appeared at the entrance, chatting as they prepared to split, but saw him making the last touches.
“Oh my God,” Penny gasped.
“Is that a Mustang?” Haley added.
“It looks magnificent.
Just how much did you pay for it?”
“The important thing is, can it run?” Penny said.
“Second-hand cars can be tricky.
I know mine is.”
“Don’t worry.
It’ll run like a beast now that I fixed the faulty transmission and made a couple of tune-ups,” he said.
“That, I have to see.
Shotgun,” Penny said.
“Hey,” Haley said.
“We’ll be dropping Penny at work first, so you’ll have your time,” he reminded her.
“Oh, right,” Haley said, smiling.
“It means I got to test the backseat properly as well,” she added, giving Penny a smug smile, who chuckled in amusement at the absurdity of it.
He turned the key and immediately drove toward the closest empty space there was, properly pushing the engine.
After the repair, it roared like a lion, strong and smooth.
“It’s terrifying and amazing,” Penny said once they pulled in front of the restaurant.
“Too bad it’s too late to call off.”
“I promise I’ll blow your mind after the shoot,” he promised.
Penny kissed him and left, and Haley immediately shifted from the backseat to the front.
“Blow my mind, stallion,” she whispered.
He waited until she put on the seatbelt before he pressed the gas, quickly covering the distance.
Haley squealed happily, an unguarded sound that made her look even more beautiful.
She grabbed the dashboard desperately while he pushed his Adept Driving to the limit, using the relative emptiness of the roads to his advantage.
Even on the curves, he didn’t slow down, the car sweeping sharply.
He stopped in a nice, relatively concealed spot, and stepped out of the car.
A part of it was not to exhaust Haley, as while driving aggressively was fun, it was also exhausting.
Haley walked out, her legs trembling.
“Where did you learn to drive like that?” she asked, slightly hoarse.
“Here and there,” he said.
“I pick things up quickly.”
“You pick up a lot of things quickly,” she said as she grabbed his hand, and dragged him toward the hood of the car, showing that he wasn’t the only one that had the idea.
He didn’t waste time with foreplay, because the drive was the foreplay.
Instead, he pinned her against the hood and drilled her hard, fast, and explosive.
“You’re such a horndog,” Haley muttered as she lay against his chest.
Then, she shifted and winced.
“God, no wonder you need multiple girls just to keep yourself sated.
I’m already sore.
And I had help last night.”
He chuckled, thinking about mentioning how he spent his day even before meeting, but he decided against it.
He had a better way to use her good mood, one that would dismantle the biggest potential issue.
It would be for the best if she were the one that opened that topic.
So he baited.
“What can I say?
I’m handsome, capable, and a beast in bed.
I’m blessed,” he said.
Haley hummed.
“Don’t forget modest.”
“Modesty is for people who can’t hack,” he teased, and she giggled.
“So, are you happy with who I chose as our first model?”
“Are you kidding me?
Penny is perfect … and not just because the thing she can do with her tongue when she’s … down there,” Haley muttered.
“She’s beautiful, warm, and comes across as genuine.
She’ll be a hit.
And, you have other good candidates?”
“I do,” he said.
“And, they are your … personal friends,” Haley said.
“Not all of them,” he said as he opened his phone, glad that he had already curated his gallery for this exact purpose.
Haley looked at him suspiciously.
“Just most of them,” he replied with a wink.
He started with Mia.
Haley gasped immediately.
“Wow.”
“This is Mia.
She’s a ballerina and lead dancer of her show,” he explained.
Haley’s eyes widened.
“She’ll be willing to model.”
“Probably, but she’ll be very selective about the collection because her real passion is high-end art.
She will be very careful about the brands and styles.”
Haley hummed.
“That’s easy.
She has a regal aura.
We go with mostly long, flowing dresses with some avant-garde accessories, focusing more on handbags and sunglasses.
She has the face for it.”
He hummed, finding her business voice even sexier.
She had the killer instinct.
She just had to let it out.
They chatted a bit about it.
Then, she showed a picture of Kandi he swiped.
Haley looked at him.
“Her, you definitely slept with,” she said.
“Actually, no,” he said, then paused.
“Not yet, at least,” he admitted, which earned a playful slap, showing that their relationship might be unusual, but it was working.
Technically, they were friends-with-benefits, but when that also included a business partnership, it changed.
He then showed a few pictures from the beach party and a couple of ordinary models, discussing each.
Then, he opened Alex’s picture, let Haley register it, then flipped to the next one.
Haley froze, which she kept reasonably well hidden.
He wondered what she would do.
“Hey, I liked the short brunette,” Haley said.
“Why did you skip her?
Don’t tell me you already discarded the poor girl.”
He did his best not to cackle at her shock.
She was doing her best to conceal her reaction, and not having too much success.
He could hear her protective tone.
“Nah, she’s too much of a treasure to let go,” he said casually.
I shouldn’t have had her picture here.
It must have mixed up from the private stuff.”
“Really?” Haley said, trying to keep the discussion on her sister.
“All the girls want to be models.”
“Not Alex,” he said.
“You sound pretty confident.
Maybe you should arrange for us to meet so I can make a pitch.”
“If you want to waste time, sure,” he said.
“So, she’s a waste of time,” Haley said.
He was amused at her sudden overprotectiveness.
“Really, Haley?”
“How much do you know about her?”
“Quite a bit, actually.
She’s smart, legit smart, similar to Bernadette.
Double major in Caltech, Physics and Engineering, with a focus on robotics.
Her biggest fear is being invisible to her own family, and disappointing them.
She’s a bit unlucky, though?”
“Unlucky, how?” Haley asked, tense.
“She’s both beautiful and brilliant, which is a combination that sounds helpful, but actually makes it harder.”
“Really?
How so?”
“Because intelligence intimidates one type of person and beauty intimidates the other type.
The combination means that most good prospects would stay away from them, which will damage her self-confidence.”
“Sounds bad,” Haley said, thoughtful enough for her panic to fade for a minute.
“There’s only one group of people the intimidation doesn’t matter.
The spineless, sniveling ones.
They will approach her because their lack of self-worth means rejection doesn’t cost them anything, and eventually, she will end up dating one of them, which will damage her self-esteem.”
Haley was very still.
“And once you date down, it locks in your social status,” Haley added reflexively, too aware of group dynamics to miss it.
“And that attracts creeps.”
“It creates a cycle of downward mediocracy, and she ends up a thirty-year-old still living with his mother and thinks playing Call of Duty twelve hours a day makes him a professional gamer.”
“That’s…” Haley’s voice was tight.
“That’s very specific.
You seem to care about her a lot.”
“Well, she’s cute, smart, and fun to talk with.
She’s inexperienced in bed, but she makes it for it with enthusiasm, especially when I start playing with her earlobe—”
Haley coughed, shocked.
“Are you alright?” he asked.
“Just breathed wrong,” she excused.
“What’s her full name?” Haley asked.
“I want to check her on social media.”
He paused, deliberately playing obtuse.
“You know what?
It’s funny that I don’t know.
I know her biggest fears, but I don’t know her last name.”
Haley paused.
“It’s Dunphy.”
He decided to tease her a bit more.
“Like Phil Dunphy.
Huh, small world.
Lucky that he didn’t know I was defiling her daughter.”
“Wait, how do you know my father!” Haley gasped.
“Father?” he asked.
“Then, Alex?”
She nodded, shocked.
“Well, let’s start with something easy.
I met Phil earlier today.
He just bought a car for Luke, who I assume is your brother.”
Haley nodded.
“And, my sister?” Haley added, then paused.
“The cafe.
She’s like three blocks away.”
“Exactly,” he said.
For a moment, silence reigned.
“She’s my sister,” Haley said.
“I … this is absurd.
If she knows this … god, does she even know that you are seeing other people.” There, he laughed.
Haley slapped his chest, looking angry.
“Hey.
It’s not funny.
I won’t let you hurt Alex—”
“No, not that,” he said as he opened Mia’s picture.
“Normally, I won’t kiss and tell, but…”
Haley gaped.
“Alex, with Mia…”
“What can I say, both likes talking about expressionist paintings and being railed from behind,” he teased, amused by Haley’s scandalized expression.
“This can’t go on…” Haley said, but it was merely muttering rather than a declaration.
He could already see that her biggest concerns were addressed, and the rest…
He kissed her neck.
“Haley, we both know we’re not going to stop.
And it’ll be unfair to dump Alex just because her sister is feeling jealous.”
“Are you hearing yourself!” she gasped, but that was the extent of her declaration, which was why he had timed it right after an explosive orgasm.
And, he liked Haley, but he also knew that she didn’t have the strongest moral fiber.
“She doesn’t know about me,” she said.
“Naturally.
Mostly because I didn’t know there was something to be kept hidden.”
“She can’t know!”
“Sure,” he said.
“Ultimately, it’s your secret.
I’m not mean enough to force you to talk about it.
Don’t assume it’ll stay hidden forever.
We’re starting a business.”
“True,” Haley admitted.
“What do we do?”
“Good.
We’ll just not admit the bedroom part.
I’m a good photographer, and you hired me.”
Haley relaxed.
“Thanks,” she said, kissing him.
Huh, it was easy.
Maybe he had feared too much.
[Achievement complete.
Convince Haley to accept Alex’s presence in your relationships without any blowback.
Challenge: Overwhelming]
[+50 Attractiveness
1 Random Diamond Skill
1 Random Diamond Reward]
He bit his lips, and decided to roll the dice.
Fifty points as a reward was impressive, but Attractiveness was one stat he wasn’t struggling for.
It was a gamble, but he decided to take it.
[Master Photography]
[Epic Skill: You are an authority on photography across many fiends, good enough for major companies beg for your commercial work and establish industry-leading exhibitions.]
Jackpot, he thought as he responded to Haley’s kiss.
Not only had the biggest challenge in his life been resolved, but he also found himself looking to a fun opportunity.