Ethan had never appreciated laundry day before.
In Oregon, laundry had meant hauling a garbage bag of clothes three blocks to a laundromat that smelled like mildew and broken dreams, feeding quarters into machines that ate half of them, and sitting on a plastic chair for two hours while watching a muted television playing daytime court shows.
Here, the building had its own laundry room in the basement.
Coin-operated, but clean, well-lit, and shared by every tenant in the building.
Critically, it included the ones on the fourth floor.
His luck proved useful when he checked, only to see the machine marked as 4B were set to finish its cycle soon, which was why he came down with two loads of clothes, loading his stuff in.
The door opened before he could finish.
Penny walked in wearing grey sweatpants that sat low on her hips and an oversized Cornhuskers tank top that had been cut to show a strip of toned midriff.
Her hair was pulled up in a messy bun, and she wasn’t wearing makeup, which somehow made her more striking rather than less.
She was carrying a laundry basket to take back her load.
“Uh oh,” he said playfully.
“Don’t tell me I have a stalker?”
“That’s my line, buddy,” she said, but she was pleased.
“Don’t tell me you’re the one who moved to 2B?”
“Guilty as charged,” he said.
“You?”
“”I’m in 4B.
Right across from —” she stopped herself, some thought flickering behind her eyes.
“My neighbor.”
“That’s how neighbors work,” he teased, amused at her blush.
“It’s complicated.”
He smiled.
“No judgment here,” he said.
“Getting smaller.” She popped open the dryer and started pulling clothes into her basket.
“So, the failed audition guy is also my downstairs neighbor.
Is this a sitcom?”
“If it is, you should have a wacky, crazy neighbor with boundary issues.”
She paused.
“So, I’m in a sitcom.”
“You’re kidding,” he said.
“You haven’t met my neighbors.
They will fit right in.”
They folded while chatting about acting.
Ethan didn’t push.
The beauty of the laundry room was that it was neutral territory.
Just two people and warm cotton.
“So how’s the cello career?” she asked.
“I made twenty dollars on Colorado Boulevard.
A tourist tipped me a tenner because she thought I was a hipster.” It was not even a lie.
He actually tried it, curious about his skill, and it turned out that classic rock covers on cello weren’t exactly horrible.
“Were you?”
“To qualify as a hipster, your parents need to make six figures.
So no.”
She grinned.
“Any auditions?”
“I have one next week.
Small part in a web series.
The character description says ‘homely but approachable,’ which I’m choosing to believe is me.”
“Definitely approachable,” she said.
“The handsome part, I’ll need more evidence.”
“Noted.
I’ll prepare a portfolio.”
The door opened again.
Leonard walked in carrying a small laundry bag and wearing the expression of a man who had expected to have a serious conversation.
It was clear that he had tried to ambush Penny inside.
His eyes went from Ethan to Penny and back again.
Ethan could have deescalated it easily.
All he needed was to act casual, and Leonard wouldn’t push.
The issue, he didn’t like Leonard, and he liked Penny.
So, when Penny looked at Leonard, he made sure to look at Penny’s ass in the douchiest way imaginable to raise Leonard’s panic.
He watched the exact moment his posture changed.
Shoulders squaring, chin lifting slightly, the instinctive territorial response of a man who had recently acquired something and wanted to defend that valuable thing.
“Hey.
I’m Ethan.
Just moved to 2B,” he said.
“Hey,” Leonard said, directing this entirely at Penny.
“I thought I told you not to bother me until you apologize to Sheldon.”
“I can’t even find him,” Leonard responded in a whiny tone.
Ethan found him even more grating in real life; or at least what passed for real life at this point.
“That doesn’t make it better,” she said.
“Penny.
Would you prefer if I leave?” he said.
“No,” Penny said.
“Yes,” Leonard said at the same time, which didn’t help Penny’s mood any.
Penny glared at Leonard, while he used the opportunity to give Leonard a smug smile, which didn’t help his insecurities any way.
“So, you two know each other?” he asked, suddenly whiny.
“He came into the restaurant,” Penny said flatly, her tone losing levity.
After all, from her perspective, it was a new boyfriend acting pointlessly possessive.
“Oh.
Okay.” Leonard leaned against the washing machine in what he probably thought was a casual pose.
It was not.
“So, Ethan.
What do you do?”
“Auditions, mostly.
Some freelance work.”
“Auditions.
So you’re an actor.”
“Trying to be.
Not much success yet.”
“Huh,” Leonard nodded with the particular condescension of an academic who believed creative pursuits were charming but ultimately unserious.
“That’s …
brave.
Statistically, the odds of making it in acting are just below two percent,” he flexed.
A bad choice, considering Penny’s aspirations, but just like how he was on the show, Leonard had a fascinating ability to put his foot in his mouth when flustered.
And, flustered, he was.
“Some of us have dreams,” Ethan said with a shrug.
“Dreams don’t pay bills—” Leonard opened his mouth, but only then he realized Penny’s angry expression, and he shut up equally quickly.
An awkward silence settled.
Leonard loaded his clothes into the washer with more force than necessary, glancing at Penny every few seconds.
She didn’t.
Instead, she looked at him with irritation that had clearly been fermenting for a while.
“So,” Leonard tried again.
“Penny, about dinner tomorrow —”
“I told you I need space, Leonard.
First, apologize to Sheldon, then we’ll talk.”
“I know, but I thought maybe —”
“Space.
As in, the thing between planets.
Which you should understand, being a physicist.”
Leonard’s mouth opened, then closed.
Ethan made sure to keep his eyes on his own laundry whenever Penny could see him, only to shamelessly ogle her when she looked the opposite side.
It made Leonard twitchier, which made Penny even more annoyed.
His constant attempts to excuse himself for creating fake data didn’t help.
Once Penny finished, she looked at him.
“Sorry about it,” she said to him.
“Don’t mind.
It’s the fun of being a neighbor,” he said with a casual smile.
Leonard threw an ugly glare at him and followed Penny.
Ethan stayed alone, impressed by Leonard’s ability to make exactly the wrong choice.
Once he started the two machines he needed, he went back to his apartment, and set up a quick light and reflector on the corner, and set up his tripod, all he purchased after his talk with Penny, hoping to learn them before he offered something like a photoshoot to Penny to get even closer.
Admittedly, he wasn’t expecting it to happen anytime soon, but then, he wasn’t expecting Leonard to assist him perfectly.
He wasn’t surprised when he heard a knock on the door.
It was Penny.
He opened the door.
Penny exhaled.
“Sorry about that.”
“Don’t be.”
“He’s not.
He’s a good guy.
Usually.
He just did something really stupid, and he keeps trying to pretend it wasn’t that bad instead of actually apologizing.”
“The worst kind of apology is the one that starts with ‘but technically,'” Ethan offered.
“The whole point of an apology is to take responsibility.”
“Exactly,” she said, smiling.
“God, finally.
It’s good to have someone in the apartment who knows how to talk like an adult.” She took a deep breath.
“I don’t know why I’m telling you this.”
“Talking helps,” he said.
“Feel free to do so.”
“Thanks,” she said, then paused.
“Random question.”
“Sure.”
“Would you mind …
helping me read lines?
I have this audition coming up, and I usually practice alone, but it’s a two-person scene, and talking to myself in the mirror is starting to feel less quirky and more clinical.”
Ethan smirked, amused by just how easily she got comfortable asking for favors.
She was rather thoughtless about it, but it worked for him.
“I’m an actor who needs practice reading lines with a fellow actress.
Yes, I would be happy to help.
Come in,” he said.
She walked in, then looked at his setup, her eyes widening.
“Oh, that looks professional,” she said.
“I’m trying to get better headshots for myself instead of dropping two grand for a professional, but it’s slow going.”
“Tell me about it, I need them as well,” she said.
He could have asked her, but it was early.
“How about if you send me the script as well,” he said, showing his phone.
She did, which also worked as an exchange of numbers, which was less monumental now that she knew he was her neighbor.
“What character are you auditioning for?”
“The party girl who drinks wine.”
“Good,” he said as he went to the kitchen and raised a bottle with a grin.
“Method acting?”
“Sure,” she said.
He poured two generous glasses and handed her one.
They read through her sections.
Thrice.
Penny was worse than he expected; her acting was wooden, her attitude making it clear that she didn’t treat acting as a craft.
He didn’t either, but unlike her, his acting ambitions were fake.
“How was it?” she asked.
He could have lied, but he wanted to take a little risk.
“Depends?” he asked.
“Depends on what?” she said.
“Depends on whether you want something actionable, or want to hear you’re amazing,” he said.
“Don’t feel defensive,” he quickly added when she looked at him.
“Most of the times, actors tell each other they are amazing because it’s easier.
I probably would have done the same, but we’re neighbors.”
“Fine.
Tell me I’m terrible, then,” she said, frustrated.
“No.
That’s not it either,” he said.
“First, that would be wrong.
Second, even if it were true, it would be unhelpful.
It’s all about pointing out places you can actually improve.”
“Fine, that sounds better,” she said.
“Most people just say great,” she said.
“I prefer to actually respect you as an actress,” he said.
“You have potential and the drive.
You just need to polish your technique a bit.”
She poured herself another glass.
“So, what’s the verdict?”
“First, you need to tap the character a bit more.
She’s supposed to be the vapid rival of the main female.
You are playing her too confidently,” he said.
“She should be a little more fragile, as well as spoiled and upper-crust.”
She hummed.
“I can see what you mean.”
“How about you sit, and I play some boring music on the cello, and you see if you can tap into the character,” he offered.
“Sure,” she said.
He opened the case, glad that he had spent some time playing before he returned, which allowed him to understand the limits of Novice skills.
He started playing slowly, his choice deliberately boring.
She started her lines.
He responded from memory, his little boost to Intelligence also helping his memory.
“You already memorized it?” she asked.
He shrugged.
“Part of the job,” he said.
They repeated several more times, and her acting actually turned passable … well, passable while adding her rather impressive beauty.
“I’m bored,” she muttered.
“How about a change,” he said as he played the opening riff, shifting to Thunderstruck.
Cello growled in a way an ordinary classic guitar could never match, the voice dark and textured.
He wasn’t good enough to make it seamless even after practice, but luckily, Penny wasn’t exactly a discerning listener at the best of times, let alone after a boring practice session.
However, he didn’t flex his arms or muscles.
He was in good shape, but nowhere near impressing Penny.
Smart, but in a charismatic way, was a much better path.
“That was actually good.”
“Actually good.
I’ll put that on my CV,” he teased.
“Shut up.
I mean it.
That was…” She searched for the word.
“Sexy.
In a weird, unexpected way.”
“I’ll take sexy and weird.
Better than boring and predictable.”
She laughed and took a long sip of wine, eyeing him over the rim in a way that was distinctly less casual than it had been twenty minutes ago.
He sat across from her, while her gaze turned to his setup.
“That’s the camera from the restaurant?
It looks different.”
“The same, but lights and the tripod make it different.
I’ve been playing around to get a professional headshot with cheap lighting.”
“How’s it going?”
“Better than dropping two grand whenever I need new headshots,” he said.
“Still, not good enough.”
She leaned forward.
“Can I see?”
He gestured her to get closer, and opened his laptop gallery, showing the pictures he took during the day.
They weren’t actually good, but one advantage of the shift he experienced was that social media wasn’t as developed, which meant some of the most commonly used angles, compositions, and filters still looked fresh and interesting, especially to someone like Penny.
“Wow, you’re amazing,” she gasped.
“How much would it take for you to take my headshots.
Mine are terrible as well.
My friend Karen took them with her phone and a bedsheet pinned to the wall.
They look like passport photos for someone being deported.”
He laughed.
“I’m not a professional photographer.
So, how about I get free dessert on my next five visits?”
“Three,” she argued.
“Four,” he responded, chuckling.
She nodded.
“You drive a hard bargain,” he teased.
“Should I go and change?” she said.
“Not immediately.
Let’s first make sure the lighting works.
If you’re happy with the general state, we can take them tomorrow.”
“Thanks,” she said, immediately moving to the backdrop.
He took a few photos, adjusted the light, and took some more.
They looked better than he expected.
The camera liked her, even with his amateur skills, the shots were good.
“Turn your chin left.
Little more.
There.”
Click.
“Now look past me.
Like you’re thinking about something interesting.”
“I’m thinking about whether I have any more wine.”
“Perfect.
Hold that.”
Click.
Click.
He showed her.
“These are great,” she said, scrolling through the shots on the camera’s screen.
“Oh my God,” she breathed.
“I look like a real actress.”
“You are a real actress.”
“You know what I mean.
I look like someone who might actually get callbacks regularly rather than once in a blue moon.” She scrolled through them, her eyes wide.
He nodded.
No wonder she wasn’t having any success if she didn’t even know the basics as much as him, and he learned it from a roommate he didn’t like.
“How about we take a few more photos?
Let’s see if we can get something more interesting than headshots.”
They started, but halfway in, her phone buzzed.
She took it, but seeing the name, she rejected the call.
The phone buzzed again.
“Answer it; it’s easier,” he said.
“Leonard,” she said after bringing the phone to her face.
Ethan could hear a soft voice from the speaker, but not the words, just the anxiety.
“No, I’m not home,” Penny said, leaning against the wall.
She caught Ethan’s eye.
“I went out for coffee.”
More mumbling.
Ethan watched her jaw tighten.
She looked good.
He raised the camera, and took a few photos.
She looked at questioningly, but he walked to her and showed the picture.
Her eyes widened, impressed with it as well.
“Yes, alone.
I do things alone sometimes, Leonard.
That’s what space means,” she added.
Ethan pulled back, taking a few more photos, occasionally adjusting her poses with his gestures.
He was even more careful while taking photos, doing his best to make them impressive and sexy.
It helped that the angrier she got at Leonard’s mumbling, the braver she got.
He waited until a flash of anger passed across her face, indicating Leonard had said something particularly stupid.
Then, he made a simple gesture.
A motion with his fingers, mimicking pulling down the straps of her tank top.
Penny stared at him.
He raised an eyebrow.
A dare.
A playful, completely outrageous dare.
Something shifted in her expression.
The irritation from Leonard’s call, the frustration from their argument, the low-key resentment of a woman whose boyfriend couldn’t stop being insecure.
It didn’t become anger.
It became something more dangerous.
Mischief.
She held Ethan’s gaze and, still listening to Leonard’s worried monologue about whether they could have dinner tomorrow, she reached up and slowly slid the left strap of her tank top off her shoulder.
Ethan raised the camera.
Click.
The shot was good.
Better than good.
The professional light, her surprisingly complex expression hovering between defiance and amusement, his own experience with social media posts designed to elevate female beauty.
“No, Leonard.
I don’t want to talk to you before you go to Texas.
We can talk after you return,” she said.
Then, she did something he didn’t expect.
She pushed her top down completely, leaving her topless.
He took another photo.
[Achievement complete.
Tempt Penny into a half-naked photoshoot while she’s in a relationship.
Challenge: Medium]
[Choose One!]
[+5 Attractiveness
1 Random Silver Skill
1 Random Silver Reward]
He picked Attractiveness immediately, but before he could continue, he received another notification.
[Bonus achievement complete.
Netori effect in play]
[+5 Intelligence
Matching skill found.
Upgrade Novice Cello
1 Random Silver Reward]
Intelligence was tempting, but this time, he picked the upgrade.
His little afternoon jaunt showed that it was a good way to make money, not to mention an excellent icebreaker.
Leonard also played cello, but the same hobbies had different impacts based on confidence and attractiveness.
[Intermediate Cello Expertise]
[Uncommon Skill: You are fairly skilled in handling the cello, enough to work as the fourth chair of a minor orchestra.]
Interesting, he thought, aware that the moment he picked attractiveness, Penny’s gaze shifted slightly.
He didn’t expect great change, but every bit helped.
He took a couple of quick pictures of her topless state before he raised his arm to gesture her to cover her breasts with one arm.
Only by deliberately ceding ground, he push further.
She leaned forward, and he took several pictures, each sexier than the last.
Then, he walked and showed her, her eyes widening.
He pulled back, then gestured her to push her sweatpants down.
She didn’t even wait, showing her red and attractive panties, too much for casual wear.
He suspected they were supposed to be for Leonard if he managed to apologize to Sheldon, before he went and sabotaged everything with incredible effectiveness.
He gestured her to bend forward.
She did.
“I told you, I need time to process,” Penny declared, her voice perfectly angry even as her eyes danced with the thrill of doing something reckless.
She arched her back slightly against the wall, and to his surprise, she pulled her panties down, giving him a naked photoshoot.
“No, you know what?
That’s enough.
Until you return from Texas, we’re on a break.
Now, go,” she said, and slammed the phone shut.
[Achievement complete.
Tempt Penny into a nude photoshoot.
Challenge: Medium]
[Choose One!]
[+5 Attractiveness
1 Random Silver Skill
1 Random Silver Reward]
He quickly selected Attractiveness, bummed by the lack of bonus.
But, apparently, the System accepted being on a break as not being in a relationship.
Pity.
He felt that it was a pity, but he also realized that it was lucky.
While in the show, Penny had never cheated anyone, meaning, if she hadn’t declared that, his chances might have been low.
“Did you just make me do a sexy photo shoot while I was on the phone with my boyfriend?” she said with a sudden realization as her arms went back to her chest, her legs crossed.
“Ex-boyfriend, it looks like,” he said.
She smiled.
“You have a point.”
“Still, maybe we —” she started.
“How about it, let’s continue, and I’ll give you the memory card.
You’re free to do whatever you want with it,” he offered.
She stared at him for a long moment, and the air between them held a charge, a change that promised more.