Mmm.
The morning sunlight streamed through the trees.
I could see my breath, puffing out into little clouds.
I felt toasty, my fur keeping me nice and warm.
Thank goodness for my fluffy fur.
I stretched, kind of sore.
Last night’s ‘cultivation session’ had been pretty good.
Zhi was cuddled close to me, and I had to pull out of his arms to sit up.
I shivered.
Ah, that’s why we were cuddling.
The cold winter air tugged at me, overcoming my soft and fluffy fur.
And the fire had gone out overnight.
I gently poked Zhi.
“Hey.
Wake up.
I’m cold.”
He groaned and cracked an eye open to look at the fire pit.
“Ugh, you can at least get some wood together before you wake me up.”
“I didn’t want you to freeze without me.” Actually, I just didn’t want to be cold and miserable on my own.
We got up and got the fire going again.
I yawned and grabbed our basket, idly munching on the jerky we made as we both sat around the fire.
Zhi took a few pieces for breakfast too before speaking up.
“I think tonight’s the night.”
“You’ve said that for the past two weeks.”
He threw me an annoyed glance.
“I mean it this time.
I’m on the cusp of my breakthrough.”
“Well, I’m headed out.
I’ll be back tonight.” I jumped up and he sighed.
“Fine.
Be back soon.” Without another word I left our nesting site and headed to my troop.
Everyone was huddled into one big warm pile, and they were just now beginning to wake up.
The young cubs just born last spring were up first and swarmed around me, chittering.
The alpha greeted me with a grunt and a head nod of acknowledgement, and most of the other monkeys at least gave a hello.
I was waiting for one of the last ones up.
He pulled himself out of the pile and gave a shake.
I smiled at him, and he smiled at me.
Father.
I trotted up to him and he grunted, saying we should get some roots for breakfast.
I agreed, even though I already had a few pieces of jerky.
Actually… I snuck a few extra to my father when we were by the roots, and he subtly ate them.
But he had trouble chewing.
Both the jerky and the tough roots.
I stifled a sigh before it could slip out.
I wasn’t going to let him know how worried I was about him.
Especially since my mother was no longer around.
She passed away this summer, and his wails broke my heart nearly as much as her death.
Since then, I’ve been spending every day looking after him.
But… I watched him barely eat half a root and only one piece of jerky.
There was only so much I could do.
Time marched forward.
And yet it seemed like I was the only one it hadn’t touched.
Even my youngest sibling was slowing down.
But not me.
I still looked like a young and healthy adult even though I was almost twenty-six years old.
I knew this was my choice.
Even though I knew where this would lead, I still chose it.
I kept cultivating, took Zhi as my mate, and stayed separate from my troop.
But it still hurt.
Walking up to the troop one morning and seeing my father wailing over my mother.
Seeing my father struggle to just chew, his teeth full of painful cavities.
Shivering because of his thinning fur.
Watching all my siblings have their own cubs, and seeing those cubs grow up and have their own cubs.
A cycle that is sure to repeat as the years go by.
I understood why keeping the martial world separate from the civilian one was so important now.
It was painful.
No cultivator could keep going on while everyone they’ve ever known died around them.
Father chittered, slyly handing me back the other two pieces of jerky, saying he wasn’t hungry.
I took them back, and suggested we take it easy today and just cuddle.
So, I can try and keep him warm.
He acquiesced and we just spent some time together.
He chittered happily, watching his grand cubs and great-grandcubs and even greater-grandcubs play.
He complained that I should have some cubs already, that I would have strong cubs.
I smiled sadly and said I would get right on that.
The hours passed by quickly, but I found myself reluctant to leave his side as the sun set and the monkeys piled together.
My father had to shoo me away, saying he would be just fine.
I reluctantly left back to Zhi and I’s nest.
Zhi was sitting quietly, cultivating.
He relaxed and stood up when I got there.
“I’m ready.
We should go to the tribulation site we prepared.”
I sighed.
“Alright.
So… lightning will really come down and strike you?”
“Its… It’s complicated.
Sometimes heaven switches it up and uses fire, or just disintegration.
Either way, we should go far away from the monkeys before attempting it.”
“Alright.
Let me grab the bowl.”
I carried the bowl, and he led the way through the forest, about five miles away, near a small creek.
It was a clearing that we cleaned of brush and debris, just in case of a fire.
He sat in the center, and I stood off to the side of the clearing, next to the creek with the bowl.
He called out.
“I’m starting!”
“Okay!”
I watched the sky as he closed his eyes and started cultivating.
Dark clouds formed over his head, out of thin air.
I watched in amazement as they blotted out the cold stars of the sky above.
Sure enough, after a few moments the clouds rumbled.
Then a white streak of lightning flashed directly onto Zhi.
Holy—
I silently swore as another lightning bolt flashed down.
And another.
And another.
Five lightning bolts.
The ground sizzled where he sat, brow furrowed in concentration, smoking.
Fuck.
I would never ever admit it to him, but he looked really cool right now.
It took about half and hour for him to finish, black gunk seeping out of his pores.
Oh gag.
I gagged for real as the smell hit me.
Oh, that stuff was nasty.
He groaned and collapsed.
For a moment I thought he passed out before he called out.
“Water!”
Shit, I had to get closer to him?
Ugh.
I filled the bowl with water from the creek before holding my breath.
I practically threw the water onto him from ten paces away.
He gagged too.
This wasn’t going to work.
I dropped the bowl and ran up to him.
I grabbed his ankle and dragged him to the creek, and he cried out in surprise.
Once he was submerged, I took a breath.
Mistake.
Huge mistake.
He came back up for air and glowered at me.
“What the fuck was that?!”
I grabbed his head and dunked him back under.
Then I just started scrubbing at him.
We had to get that black gunk off.
It was horrible.
He didn’t say anything until he was no longer covered in raw sewage.
Then he crawled up onto the bank, panting.
“Just you wait.
When you breakthrough I’ll make you almost drown as I rub your skin off too.”
I crawled out of the creek after him and shook my fur.
Brrrrr.
Without my cultivation I would probably be freezing to death right now.
As it was, I just felt really chilled.
“If I smell as bad as you did, you’ll be doing me a favor.
There were five lightning bolts.”
“Five?” He stirred a little and sat up.
“Not bad.
Five is pretty good for the first breakthrough.
I’ll shoot for twenty to twenty-five for my next one.”
“You’re insane.” I sat next to him on the bank.
He snapped his fingers, and a small fire made from his chi popped up in front of us.
Thank goodness.
I warmed my hands as he began wringing out his fur.
He laughed.
“All cultivators are insane.
You’re insane too.
Just one more stage and you’ll be ready for your own tribulation.
Of course, you’ll likely only get one measly clap of thunder.”
“That’s fine with me.
Why do you want to get struck by more lightning?”
“Because the more lightning bolts the more powerful the cultivator.
Five is on the high end for the first tribulation.
That means the heavens recognize my greatness.
As for you, you only cultivate blank chi.
That means your power is far lower than mine because I cultivate the five common chi types equally.
Blank chi is useless for techniques and powers.”
“Wow.
Thanks.
Maybe I should switch then.” My tone was deadpan, but apparently he didn’t pick up on my sarcasm.
“Heh, sorry, but unless you break your cultivation, you’re stuck like this.
However, now that I’m in Foundation Establishment, we should move on.
Find a better place to cultivate besides this mountain.” He finished drying himself, and looked up, at the moon hanging large and clear in the sky.
This time, my hard voice left no room for interpretation.
“No.
Not yet.”
He gave me an annoyed glance but sighed and looked away.
“Fine.
Not yet.
We’ll leave once he’s gone.”
“Shut the fuck up.
Don’t talk about it so casually.” I finished drying off, and looked up with him, The moon…
He didn’t say anything in response.
Just a sympathetic glance.
I guess it was better than him being an insensitive bastard about it, but not by much.
“Did you… have you ever lost your parents?”
He looked away from me.
I didn’t think he was going to answer for a moment.
“Yes.”
Ah.
“Does it… does the grief ever fade?”
“It gets lighter.
Over time.
But it never fades completely.”
“Oh.
Good.”
“Good?”
“If it ever fades completely, that means I’d forget about them.
I think that would be worse.”
He was quiet for a moment as we both stared up at the moon.
“Perhaps you’re right.
Forgetting them would be worse.”
We both just rested, gazing up at the moon.
Grieving.