—————’Why do they keep bullying me?’ I asked—wincing while a woman dabbed my bruises with spirited cotton. Even as a child I had formed my own sense of right and wrong’They were all born with amazing gifts,’ The woman said. ’But they still envy you. Because you have a strength they dont.’
The blur of the dreamscape cleared to reveal the woman’s features: beautiful dark hair, intelligent brown eyes, and a familiar smile. They were my mother Catellyn’s.
’They envy me? Thats why they’re so horrible?’ I asked again.
’They see the strength of your character. And somehow, despite your own weakness, they watch you rise again and again no matter how much they put you down.’ my mother said brightly.
’That perhaps, scares them more than anything.
I’ve known for a while now, that you were born with the soul of a hero; You exist only to help others. But for a little while longer you will still have the weak heart of a human. And so you will struggle, and you will suffer.’
The six year old me thought about her words, searching the pitying look on her face for anything that could help me understand what she was saying.
’Why?,’ I asked. ’Whats wrong with everyone?.’ My mother affectionately kissed my head. ’It’s easy to judge others,’ She warned. ’But will you follow their path when all else fails? ’
A long silence passed wile the child I was stared at her in puzzlement then. . . .
"Mom," I said.
The scene had changed and I had taken my adult form.
And I stared at the woman opposite me.
She smiled at me, and I was assaulted by a thousand different feelings at once. I felt like the earth was shifting under my feet, turning into sand.
She gazed deeply at me in amazement, as if I was the talking ghost. "I sensed your presence from within the tree of memories, but I couldn’t believe how much you’d grown."
I didnt respond.
"What is this?" I asked expressionlessly, gesturing to the pure white world around us.
"Before I died—," My mother said calmly, like she was completely unconcerned by what happend. "I bestowed a wisp of my consciousness onto the tree of memories. I knew Rea would attempt find out the truth of my death one day when you returned. And when she did, the resonance of the slumbering memories would wake me.
I needed to see with own eyes that you survived’.
’Who is she...Rea I mean?’ I asked.
My voice cracked unnaturally as I said her name. My mother laughed lightly in amusement, the gentle affection of her voice washing over me.
’Will you sit with me, my son, and listen as I tell you everything?’ She asked in a warm voice.
’As you well know, it does not end well.
But nothing is ever lost, even in death.’
"I was born five centuries ago here, in Orcus. Back then, the world i saw through my eyes was dark and bleak. I was born human, from a treasured line of metas that could trace their beginning to the first men. I was eighteen, and I was beautiful. My life was strange. An attack from a rival Dhampir clan had devastated my family, leaving me as the last of the Uttarian meta humans."She stared out into the white world, her expression far away.
"I barely knew my parents, even now I fail to remember their faces clearly.
But at least i was safe. The last of my kind. ... special .. ..rare .. ..untouchable.
Protected by the clan.
It stayed that way. . .until i manifested my meta ability;’strength bestowal’.
It was a selfless power: one that allowed me to exponentially increase the strength of a meta factor by sacrificing my vital energy.
That’s when he noticed me. . .
Erebus: the then king of Uttara!!
He was the most powerful king the clan had seen in millenia. But he wasn’t satisfied with what he had, even if it was so much more than most.
He wanted more. . .more power for himself and his descendants.
And he saw so much more potential in my abilities than I did. He decreed that he would turn me and I would become his queen.
For most this would have been the bleesing of a thousand lifetimes. . . but not for me . . .
I had seen firsthand how his eyes blazed with mad power; his ruthlessness and utter lack of mercy.
I knew i would die before ever becoming his mate.
And so I fled Orcus to the human world.
And that was when I met your father.’
Her eyes misted over.
I had seen and lived through so much voilence that I had no idea that any other life was possible’
’But he was so kind, Mason,’ she said. ’Tall, imposing, and strong. But gentle, too. I see much of him in you.’
’Then why did you leave?’ " I asked. "Why did you break his heart?" I was shaking with anger. Till this moment I didn’t realize how strongly I’d felt about her abandonment.
Her expression didn’t change. She was still looking at me with seemingly more affection than her eyes could contain, as if everything I did could only ever delight jer —even my rage.
"I missed you, Mason. Both you and your father " She said. "I can’t put it into words. But . . . Erebus eventually found out where I was. If he got to know about you and father as well, I would have lost everything. So I had to return to Orcus to keep you both safe."
"I became Erebus’s queen and bore him an heir. I thought that would protect you, but I had underestimated Erebus— understimated his cruelty. It didn’t take him long to find out about you. And when he did— his jealousy overwhelmed him. He tried to kill both you and your father, and as you just saw. . .he nearly succeeded. But with Hera’s help I was able to save you. After rescuing you, I yearned to return with you to your father, but I knew we could never hide from Erebus. I had to make certain that you and your father would remain safe. And so... with the darkest of spells— one that cost me a piece of my very soul — I laid a forbidden curse on Erebus to ensure that he would never be able to harm you."
Whe she finished her long tale, her smile returned to me. Within it I could feel so, so much love— it was almost suffocating.
I’d spent years wondering why she’d left, dreaming that she would return to me and my dad. Resenting that she never did. . .
But now, finding out that she had given everything she was— sacrificed everything she was —all so that I could live. . .
I felt like the world was shattering all around me.
I could’nt help but wonder: ’If things had gone differently . . .’
"Reality doesnt always adhere to our wishes." Mom said sadly, as if reading my mind. "But we should be grateful all the same, even in death."
’Do you remember what your father always said when bad things happend?’ Mom asked with a nostalgic smile so wide her dimples deepened.
"We may not understand it at the time." I begun.
"But everything happens for a reason," my mother continued with a fond expression. "And sometimes tragedy is for the better." She took my hand, and I had to admit— despite our situation —it made me really happy.
"I–" She took a deep breath. "I owe you an apology. No, of course I owe you much, much more than that. But you have to know,"
–the words began to flow so fast, the way I myself spoke sometimes when I was agitated, that it was really difficult to catch them all–"that I had no clue. I didn’t realize how dangerous the metas in the human world were becoming. I thought it was safe for both of you there. So safe. I had no idea that even your father,"–her lips quivered slightly–"would follow me into death so soon."
"Not that I can ever be forgiven for what I left you to face. When I read your memories from the blood Rea dripped on the tree – when I saw you for myself and realized that you she had chenged you with her venom and made you hers— that your life was now in her hands."
"My very own daughter" She laughed coldly. "Cruel, possessive, worse than even her father"– she shuddered and the tirade of words halted for a short moment.
"Please know that I never meant for any of this to happen. I feel terrible, and I am so, so sorry. Even now, when I can see and feel that you are safe....I am the most miserable excuse for–"
"Stop," I interrupted her. She stared at me with an expression of heartrending pain, and I tried to find the right words – then I decided to just speak as honestly as I could.
"Mom," I said. The word put a warm ember in my chest. "Never put yourself down again, because I will not forgive you next time. . .’
Then I smiled. An amalgamation of all the unexpressed love and affection I felt for her. ’You saved my life. And even in death you could not let go of me. In this moment— at this time— no son has ever felt more love from a mother.
I did miss you growing up, and I will continue to miss you and dad for as long as I live . . .
But I’ll be okay. . .I promise you that . . .’
My words stunned her. She was still for a few moments then. . . She beamed!! It was a smile of timeless beauty.
The fog of the dreamscape begun to thin and both our forms became transparent. But right before the dreamscape dissolved and my spirit returned to orcus I heard a voice whisper into my ear.
’My spirit will be with you my son. . .always’