Everything was black and silent. The sharp, metallic tang of burnt ozone hung heavy in the air, slowly giving way to the familiar, sickeningly sweet stench of stale blue-raspberry vape juice. Sara opened her eyes, but not a shred of light filled her vision. Her heart hammered in her chest as she felt the floor under her. It was hard—and smooth like tile. But something was wrong. Her head throbbed, and a strange, heavy pressure pressed awkwardly against the linoleum right above her forehead.
“Hello?” she called out, her voice raspy and dry. “Anyone here?”
Silence.
Carefully, she pushed herself to her feet, but her entire center of gravity was violently shifted. A thick, heavy weight dragged at the base of her spine, nearly pulling her backward as she stumbled. She put her hands out, frantically feeling for something to catch her balance, when her palm slapped against a familiar plaster wall. She panicked. What should she do now? They were in the game world, her body felt entirely alien, and it was pitch black. She tried to follow the wall, dragging whatever new appendage was weighing down her backside, but stopped when her hand came to rest over a familiar plastic square. Sliding her finger under the toggle, she pushed up.
Click!
The area around her suddenly illuminated.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Sara’s mouth hung agape as she looked at the exact same breakroom that the cops were just breaking into, but she was alone.
Immediately, she rushed into the hall and to Mark’s office. It was empty. The security feed in the corner showed the four-cam display as pure static snow. What the fuck was going on here? The stockroom was empty and the bathroom still held the broken toilet that Josh was too fucking stingy to fix. As she rounded the corner and came through the door to the retail floor, she stopped, her heart in her throat. A tiny female elf stood at the front door, gazing out onto a landscape that was altogether unfamiliar until it wasn’t.
Nothing but dark forest surrounded them. The black-trunked, perfect pine trees were perfectly symmetrical, placed on an exact, unyielding grid against the silvery-grey forest bed. Everything on the other side of the glass was grey and dull. They were in Mark’s world, alright. They were in the Forest of Nihilism.
“The whole shopping center is in the game,” the elf said, turning around and revealing a striking wood elf. In Mark’s world, they were both flora and fauna and covered themselves with their own leaves for clothing. “I don’t see anyone else, Sara.”
Sara cocked her head. “Who are—” then it hit her. “Simon?”
“In that world, yes,” the elf said, absolutely beaming. “In this world, Simone.”
Her mouth hung open. “This is why you wanted to go?”
“That sounds loaded with judgment,” Simone replied, exuding confidence.
“It isn’t.” Sara rushed over and wrapped her arms around her. “I am so happy for you!”
She pulled back and looked at her. “How do you feel?”
Simone smiled bigger than the sun. “I feel amazing, but right now we have bigger problems.”
“We’re…” Sara trailed off.
“In the game.” Simone adjusted uncomfortably in her leathers. “Yeah, but I don’t know why everything came except… the guys.”
“Can we go outside?” Sara approached the door and pushed it open, expecting… she didn’t know. Outside, the air was fresh and piney. It wasn’t like the air back in Louisville.
Simone followed her out onto the sidewalk, and they looked down at the other four shops in the strip-mall. She gestured toward the complete parking lot that came with them, as well. “Who would have figured the cars wouldn’t come?”
“This whole thing is fucky.” Sara strode down the sidewalk looking in the shops for any signs of life. “No one in Pho King… No one in Kid Cutters.” She paused before the last, and biggest shop in the strip. “Come in with me?”
Simone closed the distance and pulled open the door to Party Mart, waving an arm. “After you, m’lady!” The leaves on her head fashioned into a fedora and raised up while she tilted her head down.
Sara cringed and giggled. “Eww, don’t say that.”
“I can say it now.” The hat retracted into her skin. They both shared a laugh.
As Sara turned the corner to enter the large party store, she caught a reflection of herself in a display mirror for the first time since they arrived. She gasped and stared at the perfectly reflected tiefling. Her skin held a reddish hue, and a thick tail swished nervously behind her legs. She took a step forward and reached up, pulling back quickly when her fingers grazed the solid, curved horns protruding from her head. “What… the… fuck? I’m… a tiefling? I did not roll this.”
Simone extended her hand out in front of her. “Sheet,” she calmly said, as a tiny dimensional rift materialized a piece of paper in her palm. She stared at it as if her doing so was completely normal.
Sara’s mouth hung agape. “Simone, what the fuck?”
Simone mumbled and murmured a moment as she tapped her finger against her sheet. “Mine worked. My sheet is exactly as I made it.”
Character Name: Simone
Class: Ranger 5
Race: Forest Elf
Stats:
Strength: 12
Dexterity: 20
Constitution: 10
Intelligence: 16
Wisdom: 14
Charisma: 16
“No.” Sara put her hand in front of her like Simone. “How did you do that thing where you said sheet—”
Before she could continue, her sheet materialized in her hand, startling her. “Fuck—”
Character Name: Sara
Class: Bard 5
Race: Tiefling
Stats:
Strength: 14
Dexterity: 16
Constitution: 10
Intelligence: 16
Wisdom: 14
Charisma: 22
There it was. Tiefling. Not just a tiefling, a tiefling fucking bard. “I’m a bard. I was supposed to be a witch. How did I get stuck with the worst fucking class there is?”
“Who’s out there?” A familiar voice came from the aisles of the liquor store. “Go… go away!”
“It’s okay.” Sara shook free of her trance and looked in, trying to see movement. “We aren’t going to hurt you. We are… lost.”
“No shit, tits.” The familiarity of the voice rang clear with that single phrase.
“Craig?” Simone was incredulous and scared. “Come out. I won’t hurt you. We won’t hurt you.”
“Is that you, Simon?” Two long, white ears popped up over the counter as Craig revealed himself. “Holy shit, you are a fag!”
“A rabbitfolk?” Simone shook her head.
“A what?” Craig took a step closer, chest puffed out until he caught his reflection in the same mirror. “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?”
Craig sprinted toward the mirror. Sara readied a defense, but Craig pushed past her and ran his paws over his face, staring at the long ears and fuzzy white fur. “How am I a fucking rabbit?” He shook his head and squinted at Sara. “Are you a fucking demon? What the fuck is going on here?”
“You got transported into the game with us,” Sara said.
“Game?” Craig panicked. “What the fuck are you talking about? What game? Dunge—”
“Don’t say it!” Sara snapped at him. “If you say the name, we might get sued for copyright. Then if we get a book, we won’t get sued.”
“Sued?” Craig took a step back, incredulous. “You are worried about getting sued when I’m a fucking rabbit? I’m so fucking glad I stopped gaming with you guys!”
“You didn’t stop gaming with us, Craig,” Simone seethed. “You were kicked out for being a fucking slimeball.”
“You guys just can’t take a joke!” Craig snapped back.
Sara reached out and grabbed him by the collar of his leather jerkin and slammed him against the wall. “Nothing about what you said to me was a joke, asshole.” She slammed him back again before lowering him. “And just touching me like that…”
“Craig,” Simone raised her arm and her leafy skin parted, revealing a large barbed spike. “Just come with us. You’re going to sit in the lobby until we figure out where Mark and Cody are and see if we can send you home.”
“The fuck, I will.” Craig snarled and started backing away into the parking lot. “Fuck you all!”
Craig turned and hopped higher than a man should be able to jump, clearing three-quarters of the parking lot in a single bound, falling and landing on his face. “Fuck!”
“What the hell?” Sara stifled a chuckle.
“Never jumped before,” Simone shrugged.
Craig got back up and quickly ran, instead of jumped. He didn't go over a hill—there were no hills. He just shrank down an endless, terrifying corridor of identical black trees until his white fur vanished into the grey point of perspective.
“Mark isn’t going to be happy,” Simone shook her head.
“Fuck Mark ain’t happy,” Sara huffed. “I ain’t happy. Did I just get put into the game in my old retail job?”
“Well,” Simone raised an eyebrow in thought. “I mean, technically you landed here, but it doesn’t mean you work here still. I mean, you’re an adventurer. We have to go find the team. We can just use this as a base.”
“I mean…” Sara looked around with a weak smile. “We do have all the pho we can eat, all the liquor we can drink, and haircuts for kids all right here.”
“Don’t forget, we have the shop,” Simone pointed out. “Free vape until it runs out. It’s not like we are going to find some interdimensional suppliers.”
“What’s in there will probably last this group a week at most.” Sara laughed. “Then we are all going to be nic fucked.”
“Yeah, don’t remind me.” Simone sat on the high step looking out into the forest. “Where do you think we should start? Where do you think they are?”
“Well.” Sara thought. “How well do you know the geography?”
“If we are in Tawagoto, like I believe,” Simone replied, “then pretty decent. Why? What are you thinking?”
“The Forest of Nihilism isn’t that big,” Sara posited. “If we—”
“The hell it isn’t,” Simone challenged. “It just doesn’t look big because Tawagoto is huge and it’s a small part on the map Mark drew. It’s probably as big as the boreal forest.”
“Fuck.” Sara deflated. “I’m out of ideas, then.”
“What was it?” Simone wondered.
“I was just thinking,” Sara started. “Since the trees are perfectly spaced and placed, we can just kind of work our way from here. Like we follow that line over there for as long as we can, then come back. Next day we do it the other way until we find something, but that would take a really long time.”
“That’s smart,” Simone agreed. “I think we can do that while we try to figure out if there are any more commands.”
“Commands?” Sara raised an eyebrow. “You mean like saying sheet with my hand up?”
“Exactly.” Simone twirled a lock of her hair, clearly distracted.
“What about…” Sara pursed her lips to the side and thought. She thrust her hand forward, closing it around open air. “Weapon!”
Nothing happened.
“I’ve tried weapon, inventory, quest log, and just about everything I can think of.” Simone shook her head, getting up and walking toward Party Mart. “Nothing yet.”
Sara followed, grabbing a surprisingly cold Celsius out of the freezer just by the front register. “That’s because those aren’t Mark’s words. He wouldn’t say weapon, or inventory, he would say something dumb but accurate like bag.”
Sara held out her hand and a traveler's backpack materialized. “Holy shit!”
Simone’s eyes widened. “Bag!”
Sara looked into her pack to find a pouch with gold coins. Too many for her to count quickly. She found a folder that contained the physical copy of her character sheet with a spectral pencil in the back pocket. And in the front, she found… her cell phone. It was odd, but everything else was, too. She pulled it up and looked at the screen. It unlocked with her face and she saw she had full service.
“Simone.” Sara looked up to see Simone examining her phone as well. “Do you think…”
“There’s no data,” she tapped around with her thumb. “No internet. But… hold on…”
BING!
Sara jumped out of her skin when a text came through her phone saying ‘test.’ She immediately tapped the bubble so she could edit the name, but it was already recorded as Simone. “It worked. How? The only contact I have in my phone is you… and Craig.”
“Knowing Mark, you have to be in proximity,” Simone nodded. “That keeps the security. Holy shit, what else did he put in this game?”
Sara tried to call Simone, but the call didn’t go through. “Looks like maybe it's only texting.”
“Because Mark doesn’t like calling.” Simone rolled her eyes. “He never thinks of anyone else.”
Sara tucked her phone away and opened her Celsius. “You don’t know him like I do, then.” She took a deep swig, burped, and continued. “He was the coolest kid in high school. He never put any pressure on me to date or be anything more than me. He was the safe friend that other guys called weird.”
“Yeah, but when’s the last time he bought us lunch?” Simone grabbed a bottle of Captain Morgan off the shelf, uncapped it and took a swig. “When is the last time anyone got a raise?”
“That’s not selfishness,” Sara said. “That’s having a shitty business partner and crying every night that you might lose everything because you invested in this stupid ass vape shop just to keep your friends employed. That’s what that is.”
“What do you mean?” Simone walked toward the door.
“Mark didn’t have to do this,” Sara said. “He had other prospects. Massive ones in tech. He could have walked away rich, never worrying about money again, but he chose to open this shop so we didn’t have to work for shitheads. He put us first.”
There was a long, uneasy silence as they went out into darkness. After just a beat too long, Simone responded. “Ha. And he chose Josh. The irony.”
“The irony, indeed,” Sara said as she opened the door to Suckin’ Vapes. “Now, let’s find the boys.”