They had ridden hard and fast out of Kristen Stewart's Bluff, abandoning the festival chaos and spurring the horses straight through the upper city gates before Craig's Owlbears could regroup. The vast, open expanse of the Teradyn Fields stretched out before them. While Sunnydale sat somewhere in this region, heading there would add too much time and put them right back in Craig's crosshairs. Instead, they triangulated their route, cutting a hard, straight line across the plains directly toward their own turf to establish a safe haven. Now, the horses were lathered in sweat, the rolling green fields finally giving way as the oppressive, gray canopy of the Forest of Nihilism swallowed them up.
“Are you sure this is the way?” Sara asked, her hands gripping the reins tightly as her horse trotted past what felt like the fifteenth identical tree. “I thought it was twelve trees?”
Nothing was different. The gray hills prevented them from seeing much further than the next black trunk in every direction. She knew this was going to happen; the grid was maddening.
“I’m positive,” Simone called back from the lead horse, shaking her head. “I have Natural Explorer. We can’t be lost except by…”
“Magical means,” Mark finished, his horse trotting up beside Simone’s. “The Forest of Nihilism is an enchanted forest.”
“Enchanted with what?” Raven asked, her arms wrapped tightly around Sara’s waist from the back of the saddle.
“Apathy,” Mark said, looking around at the dull, gray underbrush. “Nihilism. Skepticism. It’s the first forest I made, and I made it not give a single shit.”
“So, what does that mean for us?” Cody asked, scratching behind an orange furry ear. “How do we get to the store?”
Suddenly, the earth shook violently.
The horses startled, neighing sharply and stamping their hooves.
“What the fuck was that?” Cody’s horse danced sideways, clearly panicked.
BOOM! KRRRRRR! Another massive rumble echoed through the gray woods, this time followed by a horrific, wet scraping sound that seemed to vibrate right up through the soles of Sara's boots.
“There isn’t anything this big in the game!” Mark shouted, his eyes wide as he snapped his reins. “Run!”
His horse took the lead, dashing frantically past Sara and deeper into the symmetrical trees. Cody and Simone were right on his heels.
“Go!” Raven yelled, tightening her grip around Sara’s stomach. “It’s coming!”
Thunderous, rhythmic beats shook the ground, tearing up the earth just behind them. Sara's horse reared back in sheer terror. She fought desperately to control the reins, but she couldn’t. The beast bucked violently. Raven lost her hold, and Sara fell with her, tumbling hard into the dirt as her horse bolted past the next tree in the distance, chasing the rest of the party.
“HEY! WAIT!” Sara screamed after them.
“Sara!” Raven scrambled up, grabbing Sara’s arm and violently yanking her out of the way just as a massive, scaly foot slammed down into the dirt right where she had been standing.
Raven dragged her down, holding her flat against the forest floor as they both stared up in absolute shock at the monstrosity passing over them.
Thick green scales covered its massive, winged form. It moved impossibly fast for its size, tearing through the canopy. But it was the underside of the beast that broke Sara's brain. Hanging between its legs was a massive, impossibly veiny cock, nearly as big as the monster itself, dragging along the earth and aggressively digging a deep, brutal trench in the ground as it moved.
Sara opened her mouth, about to scream, but Raven quickly clamped a hand over her lips. The beast didn’t notice them. It was locked onto the sound of the fleeing horses, chasing Mark and the others into the fog.
In a few terrifying moments, it was gone, leaving only the sound of crashing timber and a thick, deep trench in the ground before them.
Raven stood up, dusting the dirt from her goth skirt, and offered Sara a hand. “It’s the Draggin. They don’t stand a chance if he catches them.”
“A dragon?” Sara said, her heart hammering against her ribs. “Mark put Dragons all outside the safe zones. How did it get here?”
“Not a dragon,” Raven said, nodding down at the freshly plowed earth. “The Draggin.”
Sara stepped forward and inspected the trench. It was deeper than she was tall, and about as wide as a minivan. “What… does it fuck?”
“Holes into the ground.” Raven pointed down into the trench, where a rocky cavern at the bottom had been broken open in the Draggin’s wake. “Its cock has other cocks that shoot out into the ground. I can navigate much better underground.”
“But what about the guys and Simone?” Sara asked, panic rising.
“The best thing we can do to help them is to find home base and get them inside. The Draggin can’t enter a home unless invited,” Raven responded.
Sara cocked her head, trying to process the absolute stupidity of the mechanics. “Is it… a vampire?”
“Yes.” Raven looked shocked. “How did you know?”
“I know Mark,” Sara sighed, rubbing her temples. “So, it will just leave us alone if we get inside?”
“It can’t come within its dick-length of your home,” Raven said with absolute sincerity, hopping down into the trench and offering Sara a hand, which she took. “I can find the shop in no time down here. If it’s anything like Vape Much, My Friend?, then the foundation goes into the ground deep enough for me to feel it. Plus, this world is lousy with tunnels.”
Raven ducked and crawled into a small, dark opening that dropped down into a subterranean tunnel, gently tugging Sara with her. “Can you see?”
“Yeah,” Sara said, sparing Raven the nerdy game details about Tiefling Darkvision. Her eyes adjusted immediately to the gloom. “Lead the way. We need to hurry.”
“I feel it already,” Raven said, confidently navigating down a sloped, rocky corridor. “The Forest of Nihilism isn’t that big.”
“It felt big.” Sara watched her foot placement carefully as she got used to the balance of her tail on the uneven stone.
“It’s domed.” Raven didn’t slow down as the path leveled out. “It’s flat down here.”
Sara waited a beat for her to explain further, but none followed, forcing her to think it out. After a few steps and an awkward silence, her spatial reasoning caught up. “We’re covering more ground down here because we're bypassing the inclines.”
“Bingo,” Raven answered. “It’s just up here.”
They navigated the tunnel for another few minutes before Raven pointed ahead. “There it is.”
Jutting awkwardly through the ceiling of the cavern tunnel was a giant, square block of concrete foundation. And, appropriately, a door she knew all too well. The heavy steel back door of Suckin’ Vapes. It hung precariously about five feet off the tunnel floor, presenting a small problem for the future, but little problem now.
“How do we get up there?” Sara asked.
Just as the words left her mouth, Raven placed a boot on a nearby knee-high rock, easily jumped up, caught the heavy metal door handle, and pulled it open.
“Welcome!” Raven hung by one hand from the industrial door frame as it slowly arced open, offering a big smile and a wave. “Ladies first!”
Sara cringed. Hard. But she jumped up, grabbed the ledge, and hauled herself inside the familiar, linoleum-floored hallway, letting the comment pass. She turned and reached her hand back down to grab Raven.
The Drow pulled herself up and into the hallway, but the moment her boots hit the tile, she stopped dead. Her relaxed demeanor shifted jarringly. She pressed a pale hand firmly over Sara’s mouth and shoved her tight against the drywall.
“Someone’s here,” Raven whispered, slowly pulling her hand away. Her eyes bored into Sara's with intense, protective concern. “I smell them.”
Sara sniffed the air. At first, she got nothing but stale vape juice, but then she detected a sharp, musky scent beneath it. A heavy, greasy odor. “Who is it?”
“I don’t know.” Raven drew her dagger and stalked silently down the hallway in front of Sara. She passed Mark's office and the break room, clearing each one with professional, Plunderdark precision, before stopping just short of the swinging doors to the sales floor. “In here.”
Sara’s adrenaline spiked violently. Her breath caught in her throat. Wait. No. Was this about to be a real fight? She wasn't an adventurer. She was just a retail manager. She was a law student. Her hands began to shake uncontrollably. “R..r… Raven…”
Raven looked back, moving quickly to catch Sara as her knees buckled. “Sara. What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
She couldn’t think straight. The walls of the vape shop felt like they were closing in. The reality of the violence, the Owlbears, the Draggin—it was all crashing down on her at once. Strings of incomprehensible, panicked trash garbled out of her mouth. “I’m… 27… fight… can't…”
Raven’s blue eyes hardened, but they did not lose their warmth. She grabbed Sara firmly by the shoulders, anchoring her, and squared her gaze directly into Sara's deep blue eyes. “Sara. Look at me. I have you. I am right here. Breathe.”
Sara fell forward, completely oblivious to the threat waiting on the other side of the door, and collapsed into Raven’s arms. She blubbered incomprehensibly against the Drow's shoulder. She didn’t want to die.
Raven squeezed her tight, but gently, speaking calmly and firmly into her ear. “Sara. You are stronger than this. Stand up.”
The tone—the absolute, unwavering certainty in Raven's voice—hit Sara like a bucket of cold water. It wasn't pity; it was an expectation of survival. Her sobbing came to a shattering halt. The panic receded, replaced by a cold, sudden clarity. Raven was right. She had survived retail. She had survived law school. She could survive this.
SMASH!
The swinging doors exploded outward off their hinges. A giant Minotaur crashed through the frame, shattering the drywall as it stumbled into the hallway.
Sara’s eyes widened. It was the same one she had seen in Sunnydale with Simone. That explained the greasy Pizza Hut smell.
Raven let go of Sara and spun gracefully, placing her body squarely between the beast and the recovering Tiefling.
“Holy shit,” Raven gasped, backing Sara slowly toward the break room. “Chadwick?”
The Minotaur roared, lowering his massive horns, and charged straight for Raven.
Raven jumped backward, shoving Sara into the break room with her. “Shit. He’s frenzied! He won’t listen!”
“You know him?” Sara scrambled to her feet, wiping the tears from her eyes and stifling the final remnants of her panic.
“He’s my manager!” Raven yanked Sara back out into the hallway as Chadwick smashed a table to splinters. “This way!”
She led Sara out onto the main sales floor, bolting past the glass display cases and through the front doors, out into the empty parking lot.
Sara grabbed her arm, pointing down the strip mall. “This way!”
She led her toward Party Mart as the Minotaur smashed completely through the front glass windows of the vape shop, charging furiously toward the tree line.
“How do we stop him?” Sara yelled.
“Wait.” Raven bolted toward the back of the party supply shop. “We have to just outrun him.”
“For how long?” Sara followed, her boots slapping against the pavement.
“Depends on how pissed he is.” Raven ducked into the back room and dashed to the rear exit, throwing the heavy door open—only to reveal a sheer stone face of solid subterranean rock completely blocking the exit. “Shit! The foundation is buried! Out! Fast! Don’t get trapped in a building with him!”
Sara turned to run, but the adrenaline crash made her lightheaded. She stumbled. “He’s not in here yet!”
“Then get—”
CRASH!
Chadwick slammed through the front doors of Party Mart, sending displays of plastic cups flying. He came to a halt, his chest heaving heavily, and leveled a bloodshot gaze at Sara that made the world stop.
She was about to die.
NO! She wasn’t going to do this again! Not now! Not after Raven had just pulled her back from the brink. She shook off the fear, raising a hand and pointing a finger directly at Chadwick's broad chest. She remembered her Bard spell sheet.
“Gaseous Form!” Sara screamed.
A pulse of magic shot from her fingertips. Chadwick bellowed, but his solid, muscular form instantly dissolved into a swirling, hazy brown cloud.
Suddenly, the party store smelled exactly like a Tennessee truck stop bathroom on free raw shrimp night.
Chadwick had become… a literal gaseous form. And the angry fart cloud floated aggressively toward them.
“Oh my Lolth!” Raven gagged, slapping a hand over her nose. “What the fuck is that smell?”
“I… I could only think of a fart.” Sara deflated, retching violently at the stench.
“RARararrarrararar,” Chadwick the fart intoned, the sound wet and muffled, but clearly still frenzied.
Raven stepped forward, her eyes watering, wiping fresh vomit from the corner of her mouth. “Chadwick. Bro. How many times do we have to go over this?”
“Ararrrarsrarrrar,” Chadwick the fart squealed aggressively.
“Every time you do this, you are tanking your gains, bro!” Raven backed up a step, dry heaving, but projecting her voice into the cloud. “When you frenzy, you’re burning pure muscle! Stop, bro! Your macros are shot!”
Suddenly, the swirling brown cloud slowed. Chadwick the fart became less angry, his movements sluggish, and the stench became marginally less… pungent. “Raaaaaaaaaa.”
“You can turn him back now,” Raven said, her voice muffled behind her hand. “He’s done.”
Sara narrowed her eyes. She was feeling really small today. “How?”
“You just will it,” Raven said calmly, stepping away from the worst of the smell. “That’s it.”
Sara focused, visualizing Chadwick as a solid Minotaur again. With a sudden pop, the magic released, and the beast solidified, dropping heavily to the linoleum floor. The overwhelming stench dissipated.
Chadwick fell back onto his haunches, cupping his massive, furry head in his hands. “Raven, bro. Why do I keep doing this? I’m so sorry, Raven’s friend.”
Raven reached a pale hand out to him. “It’s just part of who you are, bro. We just have to reduce the triggers, right?”
Chadwick looked down at her hand, took it gently, and stood up to his full, towering height. “You’re always right, bro. Thank you, bro. So much.”
Raven got up on her tiptoes and gave the massive Minotaur a pat on the back. “For life, bro. This is Sara.” She ended the hug and gestured toward the Tiefling.
“Ummm, hi,” Sara waved weakly, her legs shaking as she finally crashed from the adrenaline high.
“While I would love to catch up,” Raven said, helping Sara steady herself, “we need a beacon. Fast. It’s the only way Mark and the boys will find their way back here through the forest.”
Sara took a deep, blessedly clean breath and snapped back into manager mode. “Grab the bottles,” she said, pointing at the shelves of flammable, high-proof party spirits. “We need wood. Go to the parking lot. Let’s build a fire.”
[SYSTEM ALERT: Encounter Cleared.]
[XP Awarded: 2,000]
[Level Up Available! Unspent Attribute Points: 2]