Stacy pulled a report from a slim folder and laid it open across her knees. Her voice shifted into something practised and official. “At 02:17 this morning, E-BASEE detected abnormal tachyon activity in this neighbourhood. The source was confirmed as artificial, so a contingent of knights were dispatched, arriving at the scene at 2:19. They found a criminal syndicate attempting to break into a neighbouring property using experimental weaponry. During the arrest, one of those weapons was damaged. At 02:27, it discharged an uncontrolled tachyon beam.” She paused for a moment, taking a sip of the tea.
“And that beam hit my room,” I said, because there was no point pretending I had not already guessed where this was going.
Stacy nodded once. “Our readings place the impact directly over your bedroom. More importantly, the discharge did not behave like a conventional energy strike. It produced a stable cross-universal transfer event. The moment our investigation logged that this house, and the affected room were both registered to have a male occupancy, MAIDS was informed, Lord Jason’s Liaison Special agent Abigale was immediately notified under the MAIDS Act.”
I looked around the room, trying to judge who understood that better than I did. Helen and Hayley looked lost. Jodie had gone pale. Mother, however, leaned forwards at once. “Agent Smith, stop talking around it. Are you saying my son has been hurt? Is he sick? Is he going to die?”
“N-No, Duchess Catherine.” Stacy said quickly. “Not from what our first readings show. This is not radiation poisoning. This was a displacement. Your Lord Jason appears to have been exchanged with a parallel version of himself.” Her eyes shifted to me. “This Lord Jason.”
The room went silent. Mother’s expression did not crack, but her hand tightened around the edge of her cup until the porcelain clicked against the saucer. “Exchanged,” she repeated. “So, my Jason is in his world.” She looked at me then, and for the first time since I had entered the room, there was no authority in her face at all. Only a mother trying not to fall apart. “How do we get him back, or this Jason home?”
“My duchess… the world just doesn’t have the technology, nor the scientific capabilities to pull something like that off, detecting it happening is as far as we’ve come along. Replicating the experiment, finding the exact universe, I haven’t had the chance to ask the top scientists specifically today. I’ll get them to send over any chance we might have. I wouldn’t hold any hopes on it.
Mother nodded once, reluctantly, “Have their answers sent to me as soon as.” Mother paused for a moment. Then slowly turned to me “Jason, I need you to answer me honestly. Is your world safe for him?”
“I… think so?” I said immediately. Then I hesitated, because yes was true, but it was not the whole truth. “I mean, safer than this world seems to be. We have criminals, sure, but I’ve never heard of gangs firing experimental tachyon weapons down suburban streets. My house is smaller. Way smaller. No maids. No liaison officer. No government agency that looks like it exists just because I’m male. He wouldn’t be treated as a noble or have any titles. One of the major hallmarks of our USA was that it was built without such institutions as an aristocracy.” I swallowed, aware that every woman in the room was staring at me. “Day to day? Dad would be at the gym right now, but on weekdays he works as an accountant. Mom, you have a part-time job as the council secretary. Helen got proposed to by Richard two weeks ago, he’s a nice lad, hardworking, works at the fire department, his dad’s the Fire Chief, Hayley keeps trying to bully Damien into catching up, he’s a bit of a scoundrel, singer of a local band that tours the bars of the state. I suppose he’s doing alright. Jodie is my aunty, not my mother, and she visits for girls’ nights.” I turned to Jodie, “Don’t bother asking me about your fella, I think you are on the fourth one this year alone.”
“I have a boyfriend?” Hayley’s jaw dropped. “And Helen is engaged? Why am I always behind, even in a parallel universe?”
“I’m engaged?” Helen whispered, as if the idea had struck her harder than the tachyon beam had struck my room.
Jodie slowly lifted a finger. “How on earth can everyone have a fella, and, and, and I’ve gone through how many. Is our family hogging all the men in the world or something?”
I frowned. “Erm, what? No. I don’t really get you.”
Jodie pressed, “Alright, how am I getting so many different men. You told me in the other room that I looked a lot better.”
“Yeah, you look like a 10,” I blushed a bit. “She’s still an 8, and a red head to boot.”
“What’s my red hair got anything to do with it?”
“Do you guys not have that infamous red head stereotype here?” All I got was blanks. “You know… that red Head girls are great…” my face heating up, especially as I was looking at my own mom as I said this. “Wild in bed.” My face was on fire looking at my mom, her chocolatey fudge smell still tickling my nose. My eyes accidently glancing upwards at her hair for a moment. Jodie froze, then her face bloomed. I had to turn away. Finding a new person to look at, I then looked up at her hair. Red again. damn it, I picked Abigale. She blushed too realising my connotations. I moved onto a random spot on a distant wall.
“Yo, shit, Jason, who on earth is supporting that opinion?” Hayley asked.
“Erm, like, every guy I know. My friends, my dad, well, not within ear shot of mother.” I took a side eye glance at mother, yet for some reason she had a slight smirk to the corner of her lips. She was even looking at Jodie. “Every time a red head walks past it’s like ritualistic to comment, ‘Ooo, a red head, bet she’s a wild fire in the sack.’ Or something similar.”
“I need to dye my hair red.” Hayley commented to herself more than anyone.
Abigale butted in, trying to pretend I wasn’t calling her a wildfire in bed. Her flustered face was not buying it though. “Jason, by any chance what is the gender ratio in your world.”
Jason paused for a moment. “Classes for my core subjects at school, English, maths etc. Was usually about 50/50, but my options, computer science. Advanced maths, etc. Usually has about 1 or 2 females in a class of 30. I think I remember reading a study saying that 53% of the population was male, and that the excess was to compensate for men’s proclivity to take on more dangerous and riskier jobs, like working on deep ocean oil rigs or in the military. In fact, I had planned to sign up next year after school for the military.” I scratched my shaven chin in contemplation.
That did it. The whole room changed. Hayley actually stopped drooling. Helen stared at me like I had just claimed people in my world owned pet dragons. Jodie sank back into the sofa. Even Abigale, who had clearly been briefed for strange, looked as if strange had just walked up and slapped her.
Mother’s voice came out carefully. “Jason. In this world, the current birth ratio is close to one male for every seven females.”
“One in seven, how? What?” Jason scratched his head.
Hayley frowned, clearly stuck on a completely different part of the explanation.
“Hold on,” she said, raising a hand. “Forget the gender ratio for a second. Why would men do the dangerous jobs?”
I blinked. “What do you mean?”
“The dangerous jobs,” Hayley repeated. “Soldiers, construction workers, Oil riggers. All the stuff where people get hurt. Why would the weaker sex be doing that?”
The room fell silent. I stared at her for several seconds, waiting for the punchline. “The weaker sex?”
Hayley nodded as if she had just stated the obvious. “Men.”
I looked around the room. Nobody seemed confused except me. “Hayley, men aren’t the weaker sex.”
“Of course they are.”
“No, they aren’t.”
“Jason, women are stronger than men.”
“In what universe?”
“This one.”
I threw my hands up. “That’s insane. Men are naturally stronger than women. Male bodies produces testosterone hormones like… 30-40 times as much as women do, You know, the stuff that’s responsible for higher sex drive, muscle mass, bone density. If I didn’t start shaving, I’d have a beard, a byproduct of testosterone, That’s basic biology.”
Hayley folded her arms. “I know what testosterone does, Men produce almost no testosterone, you dummy.”
“Well, I do, and I can assure you it makes me much stronger than you.”
“o, oh, ohh, oh, really now, Then prove it. Put your money where your mouth is.”
I raised an eyebrow, wondering where she was going with this. “Prove it how?”
Hayley’s grin spread immediately. “Arm wrestle me.”
Helen groaned. “Oh, here we go.”
“Seriously?” I asked.
“Seriously.” Hayley rolled up her sleeve, kneeling next to the coffee table and planted her elbow top. “Come on. Let’s settle this punk.”
I shrugged and knelt down. Offering my hand.
“Fine.”
Our hands clasped together.
“Ready?” Stacy asked, suddenly sounding far more interested in the outcome than a government agent probably should have.
“Ready,” Hayley said confidently.
I nodded.
“Go.” Stacy called out, everyone eager for the results
Hayley pushed immediately, expecting an easy victory.
My arm moved sure, but the resistance was unreal. Hayley grit her teeth pushing and pushing. my arm began to be pushed back inch by inch. Gaining ground Hayley decided to smile at me through the strain.
Her confidence faltered. I didn’t look that bothered. An easy grin of my own.
I began the offensive, pushing back. It wasn’t easy sailing for me; I’d give her that. Unfortunately for Hayley though, I had enough of a difference to not show it.
Hayley’s eyes widened.
“Wait, what?”
Slowly but relentlessly, her arm began moving towards the table.
“Jason—”
Bang. Her hand hit the surface. The room went silent. Hayley stared at the table in shock. I released her hand and sat back onto the sofa with a smug grin.
“Well, well, well, my dear older sister,” I announced, gesturing proudly to myself, “Thank you for letting me win, but you didn’t have to make it look that easy.” I proclaimed flexing my biceps.
Hayley pointed at me accusingly. “No, no, no, this ain’t fair. I demand a rematch.”
Mother stepped in to quell her protest. “Hayley, you lost, have some dignity and accept it.”
“But…” receiving a stern look from mother, she turned to me “I hate you.” I just lit up with a smile from that.
Abigale spoke up next, a level of seriousness in her voice. “Lord Jason.” I looked over, giving her my full attention. “You said men produce testosterone 30-40 times greater than women where you are from.” There was a bit of an alarm in her voice.
“Yes, ma’am. Is there a problem?”
“Majorly. Lord Jason. Our understanding of testosterone matches your definitions for sure. But the average testosterone level in females is about 250 to 300ng/ld, based on your minimum claims that would be at least 7500ng/ld which would cause severe long-term damage to all of your organs, as well as playing haywire on your brain.” Abigale stated. Then picked up a metal briefcase that was previously hidden behind the coffee table “When I was contacted by F-BASEE about the event, I decided to bring along my GENIE Brief along. You… the other lord Jason has used this device before, but it would allow us a reading of your genetic composition, as well as chemical balance.” She placed it on the table, unlatching the catches and folding it out.
It looked like a gadget briefcase I’ve seen in movies, what looked like a photocopier glass plate sat in one half of the briefcase with a faint hand print lining on top. Two posts rose vertically upwards with a bar across the top to connect over the scan plate. A small black box that was probably a scanner hung in the centre underneath. The sides of the briefcase held thick metal casings, presumably hollow with computer parts inside. That was on one side of the folded-out briefcase. The other side held a large LCD display.
I looked at mother for reassurance. Receiving a nod, I leaned forwards placing my hand on the scanner. “Miss Abigale. When I said my testosterone should be 30-40 times higher than females. I’m pretty sure my teacher for sex Ed claimed that female testosterone was somewhere in the low teens to barely below 50.”
“I see, well, let’s get some results and we can work from there.” She finished pressing a few buttons and then the process began. Light ray beams from the overhead sensor began scanning up and down my hand while a literal photocopier light underneath the glass panel traced the length. Not even 30 seconds and it was done.
Sitting back my belly rumbled. I was absolutely starving at this point. A slight blush appeared on my face as everyone heard it. “Sorry, I haven’t had chance to eat yet.”
“How about we go for a 20-minute break.” Mother suggested. “It usually takes some time for your machine to print out the results anyway. I’ll ask the maids to bring you some sandwiches.”
“That would be much appreciated. Duchess Catherine.” Everyone began standing up.
Immediately I thought of something and whispered into Jodie’s ear. “Mom. Who was that maid I was with when you walked in?”
Jodie looked at me with suspicion. But eventually caved. “Her name is Emma. Why?”
“Nothing,” I whispered back. Then addressed the room, or my parents specifically. “Can, we have a chat, just the three of us. Mom? Mother?”
“Sure, honey, I think it would be best as well.” Mother answered then responded to everyone else. “Well meet back here in 20 minutes.” Everybody nodded in understanding.
“Hayley. Quick, come here.” I rushed her out the room, before everyone else. “Listen, there’s a maid called Emma.” I whispered in one ear, my hand clasped around her shoulder to keep her close, away from prying eyes. I felt my body heat up in such a close proximity to her, smelling her salted caramel scent.
“I know Emma, Yes?” Hayley said, I could tell our closeness was having an effect on her too. Her breathing slowly dragging out.
“Do us a favour, find her and keep her... in the dark about today’s meeting. Like inform the maids they can’t discuss it with her.”
Hayley looked at me with a suspicious frown. Her rosy cheeks made her look so cute and edible. And she could clearly tell I was getting flustered by her too. “W-Why?”
“I don’t have time to go into detail right now, bu~ut how much is an IOU worth from your little brother.”
“We~ll” I could see she was tempted but needed a push.
“Come on, sis, do us a solid. I’ll even tell you a pervy bedtime story from my world tonight.”
That hooked her. Nodding her reddening head vigorously, I pulled away at a junction of our house, the stair landing, picking a different corridor to the one she was going “Think it over pervert,”
“Hey, I’m not a pervert!” She shouted back. Mom and mother was the next ones to step into the stair landing. “Mom, mother, tell Jason I’m not a pervert.”
“Don’t ask your parents to lie for you.” Mother answered back.
“Mother?!” Hayley stammered, offended at the insinuation by her own mother.
I realised I had absolutely no idea where I was going, well, I was heading towards the corridor my mom first came from this morning, but I wasn’t quite sure if that was correct. So, I stopped and turned back to them. Both my parents were watching us with the same suspicious expression, which, to be fair, we had earned. Hayley and I had hardly been subtle while plotting in the hallway.
“Do I need to make the two of you explain what you’re scheming?” Mother asked.
I opened my mouth, reconsidered, then tried again from a safer angle. “Maybe. Maybe not. I’m asking Hayley to keep a certain opportunity available for me. Whether I’m actually allowed to make use of that opportunity is, frankly, half the reason I wanted this private conversation with you two in the first place.” I shrugged, tapping my fingertips together like some villainous professor halfway through explaining a master plan. “Also, unrelated problem, I still don’t know the layout of this house.” I scratched the back of my head. “So… where exactly are we going?”
“You are going the right way to the kitchen; a maid will prepare food for you while we chat.”