A day passed quickly.
Night fell.
High in the black sky, both moons hung bright together – **Mannslieb**, the bright white moon, and **Morrslieb**, the sickly green Chaos moon, glowing with warpstone light.
When both moons are full, the winds of magic blow strong, and all magic – including Greenskin WAAAGH!
magic – gets wilder.
Under the twin moonlight, a mob of Goblins was still carrying stones, stacking them into a crude, lopsided statue in the center of the tribe.
It was ugly.
One figure was big, brutal, holding a massive choppa – that was Gork.
The other was slightly smaller, sneaky, holding a spear behind his back – that was Mork.
Or maybe it was the other way around.
No Greenskin can agree which is which.
As the last stone was placed on Gork’s head, the system screamed.
> **DING!
QUEST [IDOL OF GORK AND MORK] COMPLETE!**
> **SYSTEM UPGRADE!**
> **UPGRADE SUCCESSFUL!**
Green light exploded from the statue, washing over the entire valley.
Every Goblin and Snotling stopped and howled “WAAAGH!” without knowing why.
Marcus felt power surge through his body.
He grew half an inch taller.
Then the messages flooded in.
> **NEW BUILDING UNLOCKED: [QUARRY]**
> Build Time: 5 days.
A simple open-pit quarry.
> Description: Staff it with Snotlings and Goblins, it will produce stone for the tribe continuously.
>
> **BUILDING UPGRADE SYSTEM UNLOCKED!**
>
> **UPGRADEABLE: [MUSHROOM FIELD LV1 -> LV2]**
> Upgrade Time: 1 day.
A Lv2 Mushroom Field produces more Boyz.
> Output: 60 Mushrooms, 5 Snotlings, 4 Goblins, 1 random Squig per day.
> Requirement: 20 Snotlings, 20 Wooden Tools.
> Description: Snotlings are born to tend fungus.
They will steal mushrooms from the field, but they also water it, dung it, and make the fungus grow bigger.
Bigger fungus produces stronger Goblins.
>
> **UPGRADEABLE: [LUMBER CAMP LV1 -> LV2]**
> Upgrade Time: 1 day.
Produces more wood, but needs more Snotlings to cut trees.
> New Tool: [Goblin Treadwheel Sawmill] – Cost: 20 Wood, 3 Iron, 1 Whip
> Description: Put the laziest, most disobedient Goblins inside and whip them to run.
The wheel turns a saw blade, producing proper planks instead of crooked logs.
>
> **UPGRADEABLE: [BOSS HUT -> BOSS WOODEN HUT]**
> Cost: 50 Planks, 20 Stone.
Requirement: 30 Goblins to build.
> Description: You’re the boss.
You need a bigger, more ‘ard hut to show you’re da biggest.
>
> **UPGRADEABLE: [GROT HOVELS -> GREEN HUTS]**
> Cost: 10 Wood, 30 Branches per hut.
> Description: Your Gitz live in stinking pits.
Tear ’em down.
Build better huts.
Be an enlightened boss.
They’ll love you…
or fear you more.
>
> **UPGRADEABLE: [EARTH WALL -> STONE WALL]**
> Cost: Depends on size.
More stone = bigger wall.
>
> **NEW QUEST UNLOCKED: [STONE AGE]**
> Requirement: Arm 300 Goblins with stone weapons – each needs a stone knife, a stone spear, and leather armor.
> Description: You have stone now.
No more wooden rubbish!
Every boy gets stone!
>
> **NEW MECHANIC UNLOCKED: [WAAAGH!
ENERGY]**
> Now every quest completed gives you WAAAGH!
energy.
WAAAGH!
makes you bigger, greener, meaner.
At high levels, you can cast Little WAAAGH!
magic.
>
> **SYSTEM UPGRADE REWARD: ONE GREENSHKIN SHAMAN**
> Greenskin Shamans know the secrets of the WAAAGH!.
They can make your boyz ‘ard, make heads explode, and summon the Foot of Gork.
Find a Goblin you like, bring him to the Idol of Gork and Mork, and make him your first Shaman.
> **NEW MAIN QUEST: [EXPLORATION]**
> Explore 20km around your valley.
Don’t stay cooped up like a Squig in a bag.
If you find enemies, krump ’em.
Marcus stared at the flood of text.
He finally understood.
“I’ve been stuck in the tutorial village this whole time!”
No wonder his fungus fields only produced Goblins and Snotlings, no real Orc Boyz.
System level was too low.
No wonder quest rewards were just 100 teeth.
He needed to upgrade.
The most urgent was the Mushroom Field.
All four of his Lv1 fields needed to become Lv2.
He had plenty of Snotling labor.
The next morning, he ordered Goblins to make 80 wooden shovels and picks for the Snotlings, then summoned Iron Egg.
Iron Egg had been with him since day one.
Since he crawled out of the fungus, this little Goblin had followed him, translated for him, learned to make baskets, learned a few words of Khazalid from the Dwarfs.
He was clever, brave for a Goblin, and loyal in the way a dog is loyal – because you feed it and it fears you.
He deserved a reward.
Marcus took Iron Egg to the Idol of Gork and Mork.
The statue was still pulsing faintly green.
He opened the system and selected [MAKE SHAMAN – IRON EGG].
The statue erupted.
A column of green WAAAGH!
energy slammed into Iron Egg.
Iron Egg screamed.
His eyes rolled back, his head felt like it was going to explode.
Gork and Mork were staring directly into his tiny fungal brain, pouring in the secrets of the universe, which for a Goblin is just “WAAAGH!” shouted very loudly.
He fainted instantly, smoke coming from his ears.
Marcus caught him.
He remembered his own rebirth – the same pain when Gork and Mork first looked at him and gave him the system.
“So this is what a blessing from Gork and Mork feels like?”
He slung Iron Egg over his shoulder.
He didn’t have time to wait for him to wake up.
He needed to go to the lumberyard.
He checked his resources on the system:
Mushrooms: 1300, Teef: 100, Stone: 200, Wood: 800, Leather: 50 (from the boar), Vines: 1500, Branches: 1000, Squig Dung Fertilizer: 70, Crow Feathers: 300, Iron Ore: 100, plus other junk.
The Dwarfs had been busy.
With their five iron pickaxes – the only real picks in the tribe – they and the Goblins had not only built a quarry but dug a real adit halfway up the eastern ridge.
They could now produce a small but steady amount of iron ore every day.
Gram said if they had proper pit props, they could double it.
At the lumberyard, Marcus clicked Upgrade to Lv2.
Nothing happened magically.
The system just marked the area.
He had to do it manually.
He called all the Goblins and Snotlings still working and told them to expand the lumberyard, clear more trees, build a larger log pile.
He and a few clever Goblins started building the Goblin Treadwheel.
It was exactly what it sounded like – a giant hamster wheel made of wood, connected by a crude axle to a saw blade.
It could have been powered by water like an ancient waterwheel, but there was no fast river here, and the system probably wouldn’t recognize a waterwheel as a “Goblin Treadwheel.” So Goblins it was.
For now, the laziest Goblins would run inside, whipped by a slightly less lazy Goblin.
“Many hands make light work,” Marcus muttered, as they hammered planks together.
By sunset, the Treadwheel was more than half finished.
All that was needed was iron for the saw blade.
Once the blade was installed, Goblins could take turns running, producing real planks for his new Boss Hut.
As for choosing only disobedient Goblins to run until they died?
That’s a joke.
Marcus wasn’t a devil.
The goal was to keep them alive and running as long as possible – a dead Goblin doesn’t produce planks.