‘Han Seungbeom….’
I stared up at the ceiling, recalling all the clues I’d gotten about Han Seungbeom.
The more I became aware of the fact that I had indeed come back to life in someone else’s body, the more I regained my reason from the rage that nearly blinded me, and the more I got to know the person named
Han Seungbeom
, the more I started to doubt whether it was okay to just stand by and let the current situation go on.
‘I can’t stop thinking about Han Seungbeom. What kind of child is he, exactly?’
The situation happening right now was not of my own volition, nor was it something I could control. I didn’t even know why or by what means I had possessed Han Seungbeom’s body.
‘I need to know what the hell is going on so I can decide if I should find a solution or not.’
This situation was more of an unexpected variable for me.
So, the first judgment I made when I opened my eyes in Han Seungbeom’s body was whether I could solve this unrealistic situation. And no matter how much I thought about it, the answer was always “
No
“.
I was a competent person, but I didn’t have any supernatural abilities. This kind of unrealistic situation was outside my field of expertise. To solve something like this, a shaman or a psychic would be more suitable than a famous idol.
Therefore, from the moment I first opened my eyes, I recognized that this possession was beyond my capabilities, and I decided to exclude it from the things I needed to consider. Rather than doing nothing, I figured I might as well do what I could. After all, that was the most efficient choice.
‘That thought hasn’t changed even now. I will never stop, and I will do my best with everything I can do right now.’
In fact, to this day, I still haven’t figured out the nature of this possession, so if I had been shocked by the possession and had just stayed still, I would probably end up wasting my time until now.
However, if Han Seungbeom were to show up and say, “
Give me my body back, you bastard
“, I was planning to leave without a word if possible. Or, I thought I might try to negotiate with him and say something like, “
I’ve been going through this terrible situation, so could you please cooperate?
“. Still, if he refused, even if I couldn’t get revenge, and even if I had to die as I originally would have, I would have followed Han Seungbeom’s will.
Because this body belonged to
Han Seungbeom
, and I was merely a temporary guest in it.
‘But Han Seungbeom still hasn’t shown up.’
Now that I had regained some sense of reason and reality, I asked myself this question.
‘If Han Seungbeom doesn’t show up forever like this, or if he doesn’t show up even after I achieve my revenge, what will happen to this body?’
‘If no one remembers Han Seungbeom until the end, won’t Han Seungbeom simply disappear without a trace?’
I got goosebumps.
That was the worst possible scenario, and it should never have happened.
‘Damn it!’
I sincerely hoped that Han Seungbeom had simply hidden behind me temporarily because he was tired of his painful life.
“…….”
‘No matter what, that’s just too unfair. It’s too harsh for Han Seungbeom.’
Han Seungbeom’s life, as far as I had seen, had been nothing but emptiness.
A life without parents to protect him, without siblings to rely on, without friends to share his feelings with, a life that didn’t even leave a trace. His life should never have ended this way.
‘If there’s something wrong, it must be corrected. I have to be ready for when Han Seungbeom returns. I’ll make sure to tear out every single hair from his family’s heads. That’s the best repayment I can make right now.’
I owe a debt to Han Seungbeom.
At the very least, I had to understand this child’s life. I had to constantly wonder what kind of person Han Seungbeom was and why he ended up in this situation.
“Huu…..”
There were so many questions, so little clues.
Han Seungbeom left nothing behind, and his family knew no more about this child than I did.
‘No matter how much I try to speculate about Han Seungbeom’s background, I can’t be certain. The only person who knows the truth is Han Seungbeom himself, and right now, I can’t meet him. The only person who seems to know anything about the truth is Han Seungbeom’s aunt, but even she can’t be expected to know everything.’
But staying idle in ignorance didn’t sit well with my temperament.
Han Seungbeom was still a child who
left
before even becoming an adult. I had to fulfill my responsibility.
‘Think, Seo Yutae. If you can’t use your quick wits for something like this, then where else will you use them?’
I decided to first consider the most indispensable thing in understanding Han Seungbeom.
‘Since Han Seungbeom maintains an amicable relationship with his aunt, it’s hard to believe that he has a falling out with his mother’s side. Then why doesn’t his mother contact him? It’s clear to anyone that his home environment is unhealthy.’
The reactions of Han Seungbeom’s stepmother and half-brother when they saw
his
smile, the father who have never contacted
him
even after
he
left home to pursue a career in entertainment, the phone that had no trace of human interaction left, and the reactions Han Seungbeom’s aunt had shown me all flashed through my mind one after another.
‘It was unavoidable. Han Seungbeom’s aunt didn’t seem to blame his mother, but only seemed to resent his father … So, I think there must have been a practical reason for it.’
The plausible reasons were either that Han Seungbeom’s mother had already passed away or that she was facing financial difficulties. But considering that Han Seungbeom’s aunt was quite well-off financially, it seemed unlikely that the latter was the case. It would be possible for her to support her sister to some extent.
And while not quite as wealthy as the aunt, Han Seungbeom’s father also seemed to be pretty well off. With an apartment in Seoul and a fancy car, his mother should have been able to claim child support from him.
‘Then, Han Seungbeom’s mother might have already passed away.’
“Haha, I won’t tell you! Try thinking hard about it until your head hurts.”
Han Seungbeom’s aunt brushed off my questions quite cheerfully that day. But just because she was cheerful on the outside didn’t guarantee that her inside would be the same.
I recalled his aunt’s face, who gave off a chilly air even as she let out a cheerful laugh.
‘It’s something she’s still struggling with. It wasn’t the kind of story she could casually share with a stranger. I’m glad I didn’t rashly ask Han Seungbeom’s aunt about it.’
I didn’t want to forcibly pry into the wounds of someone who had lost her sister, whether it was due to an accident or illness, and eventually her nephew as well. It was something Han Seungbeom wouldn’t want either. Yet, even though I felt that way, I couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling I had about her.
Even though I was dragged into this situation without knowing anything, why would she show nothing but kindness to someone who had taken over the body of such a precious family member?
‘If something like this had happened to Seo Yuseong, even though I knew it was beyond their control, I would have lashed out at the guy who took over his body and yelled, Don’t talk to me in my younger brother’s voice, you bastard.’
But Han Seungbeom’s aunt didn’t do that.
She loved her family so much that she constantly thought of Han Seungbeom when she saw me, yet she accepted the possession with such a calm attitude.
‘In this case, it’s reasonable to assume that Han Seungbeom’s aunt was aware of the possession beforehand and had time to prepare herself. However, considering that she still addressed me as Han Seungbeom during our phone conversation, it seems she didn’t know exactly when the possession would happen.’
Taking into account the reactions Han Seungbeom’s aunt showed me, that seemed to be the most plausible explanation. While I couldn’t be certain due to the lack of evidence, I could at least form a hypothesis.
And then, there was the most crucial question.
How did Han Seungbeom’s aunt find out about the possession?
‘It’s unlikely that Han Seungbeom’s aunt had anything to do with the possession directly. If she had caused this situation, she would have noticed the possession from the moment she made the call, without having to see my behavior in person. She’s clearly just a powerless bystander. She probably had no choice but to let things play out.’
A bystander who loved her family deeply but was powerless to stop her nephew from disappearing. There’s no way that such a person would have known about something as supernatural as possession on her own.
If that’s the case, then Han Seungbeom’s aunt must have
heard
about it from someone.
‘And the most likely person to explain this current situation is….’
Han Seungbeom’s biological father and stepmother, who didn’t even know that their son had disappeared and seemed simply bewildered by my actions, were exceptions from the start. And Han Seungbeom’s biological mother was also an exception. It would be difficult to find parents who would willingly hand over their son’s body to someone else.
Therefore, among the people I knew, there was only one person who was easily plausible.
Someone who was close to his family. The center of this abnormal situation and dissonance, Han Seungbeom.
“…….”
From the moment I opened my eyes in someone else’s body, I had long given up on the concept of
reality
.
If I were to find a plausible explanation for this absurd possession, I’d have to conclude that some
unknown force
beyond my comprehension must have been at work. And, of course, I, Seo Yutae, was a perfectly normal human being. If there was any trickery involved, it would be far more plausible that Han Seungbeom was the one pulling the strings, not me.
‘Han Seungbeom didn’t seem to value his own life very much … what a troublesome guy.’
He was only twenty years old. He was at the age where he had to bake pancakes on the way home late at night after getting dumped by his college’s sweetheart.
I couldn’t even imagine what kind of thoughts Han Seungbeom had to live this kind of life.
‘I’m going to die of anger.’
After staying in this body for several months, it wasn’t only Han Seungbeom’s relationships with others that I thought were strange.
“Seungbeom has been practicing dancing and exercising a lot, so he should have built up some stamina, but why is he so weak?”
“Hyung, it’s about time you admit it, you’re physically weak
.
“
Han Seungbeom’s body was weaker than I expected, and his stamina didn’t build up easily.
This body was completely different from my original body. Although it appeared to be perfectly normal on the outside, but no matter how hard I tried, there was no improvement.
I should admit, this felt like I was experiencing the difference between having a naturally muscular body and not having one.
I deeply regretted the past when I used to boast that Cha Woon didn’t gain muscle because he wasn’t trying hard enough.
I had three hypotheses.
Firstly, Han Seungbeom was born with a genetically weak body. This could be related to the reason why his mother passed away.
Secondly, Han Seungbeom, who was pessimistic about life, neglected his body during his growth period.
Thirdly, Han Seungbeom’s body might have been affected during the possession process. For example, the trigger for the possession could have been taking his own life, or perhaps it involved using his body at the cost of extensive damage. Since the price for using the ability was the consumption of physical strength, it wasn’t an entirely absurd idea.
‘Which one is the correct answer?’
The answer could be one, or it could be all three.
‘And besides feeling weak, I’ve been having frequent headaches. It’s not the chronic headache I used to have, but a headache that comes at specific times. Sometimes my head also feels stuffy, like there’s a fog inside.’
I felt like I was forgetting something important. But the problem with forgetting something was that I couldn’t remember what it was that I forgot.
‘Ah, this is pissing me off. Who’s messing with me?’
It could be concluded that this possession was carried out by Han Seungbeom based on the subtle attitude of his aunt. But since there were no clues to other questions, too many hypotheses were formed.
“…….”
As time passes and the time I spent in this body increases, will I be able to confirm the true nature of this possession once my goal is achieved? And when Han Seungbeom returns to this body, what will happen to me?
“Han Seungbeom, come quickly.”
Just as I was thinking that, I heard someone calling
my
name. I got out of bed and turned towards the direction of the voice. My roommates were gathered around the door, waiting for me.
“Hyung, we’re going to be late! Today’s meal is delicious, and if we arrive late, it might all be gone.”
“Seungbeom-ah, be careful not to fall.”
When I saw that sight, I suddenly felt a strange emotion blooming in my chest. It was an emotion that even made me feel like I could forget about revenge and let go of all my hatred.
‘Indeed, when I first opened my eyes, I was consumed by such a blinding rage that I almost lost all sense of reason.’
But at the same time, there was a part of me that felt like I shouldn’t give up on this revenge, that I shouldn’t forget it, that I shouldn’t let it go.
“……Don’t rush me. I’m going, I’m going.”
And I didn’t feel any sense of discomfort throughout the entire process.
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Translator’s Corner:
Don’t you love it when MC has an existential crisis….
I didn’t realize this until someone on the NU review section pointed it out (you guys reviews are so cute btw…..), but wow I just noticed that maybe I’m really into tl-ing this is because the MC is not being forced to do things by system. My previous project (SSS-Grade Cafe) was a cute story where MC was (at first) forced against her will by the system. I guess I have slump from translating that kind of trope for so long, and that’s why this story felt like a breath of fresh air for me. Like, I love reading that kind of story, but tl-ing it is a different matter.