[LEE DANBI’S POV]
The cheers of the audience and the upbeat beats echoed through the stadium.
It was given, the theme song of the program, Born to be IDOL, was being performed on stage.
“I’ll win, my shining dream!
Born to be IDOL. That’s me
!”
“I will devote all my potential
Set your worries aside. They’ll only bring fear
Born to be IDOL. That’s me!”
As I was performing on stage facing the audience, Seungbeom-hyung’s image kept appearing in my vision.
Of course, I knew it was only natural because he was standing at the very front of the stage. However, I subconsciously realized that a more complex emotion within me was playing a bigger role than such a simple reason.
“What should we do? I don’t think it’s enough for everyone….”
“We should just figure out how to share it fairly, I guess.”
It wasn’t until a certain break in the middle of the program’s filming that I started to become clearly interested in Seungbeom-hyung.
By chance, there was a problem with the amount of snacks given to the trainees, and some trainees ended up not being able to eat. The older trainees casually took the snacks first, as if they were entitled to them, and by the time it came to the younger trainees, there was nothing left for us.
‘It’s laughable, I’m not even in the military.’
It wasn’t a snack I particularly liked, but the frustration I had been harboring inside suddenly surged up. At home, I had to give up things for my younger siblings because I was the older brother, and outside, I had to give up things for the older ones because I was the younger one. I was slowly getting tired of my life where giving in seemed like the only option.
‘If there was a camera, they wouldn’t do that.’
I felt sick to see them thoughtlessly stuffing snacks into their mouths, despite knowing there were still trainees who hadn’t received any yet.
Maybe it was because I grew up under unreliable guardians that I didn’t feel much respect for my elders. Or maybe I was just selfish by nature, like my Mom and Dad said.
As I was leaning against the wall in the practice room with such resentful feelings, someone walked up to me and threw me a snack.
“You eat it.”
It was Seungbeom-hyung, who was already the most popular guy in the program even at that time.
I thought it was strange that he, who usually didn’t even eat anything, was passing through the crowd of trainees like Moses parting the Red Sea to grab the snacks. Later, I realized that Seungbeom-hyung had done it from the beginning to make sure I got my share.
Because I was one of the youngest trainees on the program.
“….It’s okay, hyung, you can eat it.”
“What are you talking about? Children need to eat first.”
“…….”
It was a strangely infantilizing remark. “
You’re not a kid anymore, so act like an adult
“, “
Come straight home right after school and take care of the kids
“, “
As the older one, don’t be so selfish
“. Having grown up hearing words like that so often that they were almost ingrained in me, such strange words were quite alien to me, so I stiffened and just stared at that hyung.
Then, I heard Woo Kangwon-hyung’s voice from the side, accompanied by a laugh, saying, “
From what I see, Seungbeom seems like a child too
“. Seungbeom-hyung simply smiled ambiguously and brushed off his comment.
At that time, I didn’t have any good feelings for Seungbeom-hyung, so I replied in a very blunt tone.
“I’m not a child.”
“Yeah, right. Anyone can see you’re a child. Go eat some bread.”
At my words, Seungbeom-hyung chuckled, patted me on the head a couple of times, and walked away without another word.
“…….”
It seemed like that memory didn’t stay with him, but it was quite important to me. It was the turning point that made me want to create a connection with Seungbeom-hyung. After that, I would chase after him, asking him to teach me how to dance, and I’d often linger near him whenever he practiced.
“Hyung! Let’s practice together.”
He seemed like a rather sensitive and sharp person, so I thought he might dislike such behavior, but I continued to hover around him. I was testing his limits, trying to see how much he would tolerate.
I didn’t have any particular intention to deceive or evaluate that hyung’s character.
I was simply trying my best, in the way I had learned, to stay in his good graces.
“Yeah, let’s do it until we die. Sleep is a luxury, right?”
But the
limits
never came.
Seungbeom-hyung was much more affectionate than his outward appearance suggested, and among the trainees, he was especially kind to me. He was so soft-hearted that he was even teaching others during the time when he should have been busy with his own practice.
Among all the older people I’ve met so far, the only one who showed me such overwhelming kindness without expecting anything in return was my older sister. But that person was no longer by my side, as I pushed her away with my own hands.
In the end, Seungbeom-hyung became the only ‘
trustworthy adult
‘ for me who had nowhere else to turn.
“Let’s give it a try. If this is your last chance, let’s make it count.”
“The most important thing is not to get hurt. As long as you’re healthy both physically and mentally, you can always try again.”
And my hyung’s kindness continued to this day, as he still tried to help me.
“Why is your ranking low?”
After I started practicing, I told my hyung, “
My ranking is pretty low so, it’s quite unrealistic, but I’ll do my best
“. But he asked me back in a dry tone.
I expected him to agree with what I said, but his response was completely unexpected, so I was a little surprised and stammered in my reply.
“Well, of course … because I didn’t make it into the debut zone during the last ranking announcement.”
“I don’t think so? Since the ranking was based on votes before the last episode aired. Your ranking will probably go up. Why do you think I went through the trouble of bringing Lee Chise-sunbaenim in? I brought him in to make sure you’d get a proper screentime on the broadcast.”
I already knew that the public would show a great deal of interest in Lee Chise-sunbaenim’s team. So, from the time I started practicing for the fourth mission, I could easily predict that my screentime would increase.
— Lee Chise’s class, this is madness
— They didn’t give us more even if we begged for it ㅠㅠ Such a shame…
And in fact, the scene of me receiving lessons from Lee Chise-sunbaenim had already been aired and gotten a lot of views. However, I was aware that it was due to Lee Chise-sunbaenim’s popularity, and it wouldn’t necessarily bring in votes for me.
The debut cut-off line was in 7th place, and I was in 11th place, four rankings below that.
It wasn’t easy to leap over that in one go.
“Since he usually doesn’t appear on variety shows, I expected my screentime would increase thanks to that sunbaenim. After all, it’s something everyone would want to watch. But it might not actually lead to actual votes, right? Even though it was because of an accident, I ended up failing on stage.”
When I said that, Seungbeom-hyung flatly denied my words.
“The important thing is that your practice scenes were broadcasted. Survival programs for trainees are one of the rare chances where people will be willing to look at the process, not just the result. You should make the most of it while you still can.”
“…….”
“Of all the trainees on this program, you’re the one whose training progress I can most confidently boast about. Because you’re always consistently working hard.”
It was an evaluation that felt beyond what I deserved. But reality had already caught up with me before I could be comforted by it, so I didn’t let myself be easily convinced and lowered my gaze. Then, Seungbeom-hyung spoke again.
“You’re likely the one who’s getting the most attention and expectations from the public since the last episode aired. Everyone knows how hard you’re working, so they feel sorry for the misfortune that has come your way, and they’re hoping that your efforts will be rewarded someday. And the moment you meet those expectations will be the moment people fall for you. The production team knows this too, so they will give you a chance. They will, if they have a conscience. Your part was ruined because of their mistake.”
“Are you saying all I have to do is meet those expectations on the first performance?”
“Yeah, the public is already mocking the lower-ranked trainees who haven’t proven their skills, saying they won’t be able to perform that part properly. They’ll probably focus on the dance break part abnormally. Instead of enjoying the performance, everyone will be desperately looking for mistakes.”
“It seems to be the case. I saw a NeoTube shorts where they were comparing the trainees’ dances and criticizing them.”
As I mentioned the video I had seen on the tablet, Seungbeom-hyung nodded as if to say that’s exactly what he meant. Then, he smiled confidently and spoke.
“And the answer key to that ‘spot the difference’ game is me. From now on, you have to practice dancing in the exact same tempo as me, to the point where your breathing is completely in sync with mine.”
If any other trainee had said that, I would have definitely brushed it off. But since it was Seungbeom-hyung, someone who had honed his dancing skills to the limit, a huge sense of trust surged within me.
‘That’s right. After all, that NeoTube video also showed the two trainees in split screen and compared them.’
While the majority of viewers could probably remember the general choreography, it was highly unlikely that they’d memorized the precise timing and details. Therefore, the method they chose was to find the correct answers by comparing the trainees to the person next to them.
The trainee in this program who danced the best, the one who never made a single mistake and never strayed from the center of the stage. Although it was brutal, the standard for the trainees was Seungbeom-hyung.
“This is a method used by the guy I mentioned last time. You can film videos of both an average person and someone who dances well, slow them down, and practice by analyzing step by step what the differences are between them. Memorize every detail, including which movements require specific details. Since you’re already good at matching the beat, it will be polished enough
if you just practice repeatedly
.”
The effort I had to make was to dance as similar as possible to the way Seungbeom-hyung danced.
It was by no means an easy task. However, I was a trainee who learned the choreography of the theme song from Seungbeom-hyung from the beginning, and now I had the luxury of having him as my exclusive teacher.
Seungbeom-hyung was in front of me, and I just had to follow him.
“Show them that you’re capable and have been working hard by giving your all in the first performance.”
Just as I was repeating those words like a mantra, the dance break began, and the camera light turned red, focusing on me.
“Bet on me.
JACKPOT!
Born to be IDOL. That’s me!”
And that meant it was time to show what I had prepared with Seungbeom-hyung.
.
.
.
As soon as I finished the performance and came off the stage, a trainee I was familiar with ran up to me and handed me a tablet.
He was jumping up and down with excitement, so I wondered what was going on.
Unable to reject his persistence, I hesitantly took the tablet, and upon seeing a post on the Bluebird SNS that immediately appeared, I couldn’t help but hold my breath.
(Video) Lee Danbi possessed by Han Seungbeom
— Wow, the two of them are perfectly in sync, like a synchronized sword dance. Real possessed
.
— Danbi really skyrocketed in popularity after the last broadcast, and today he went all out and proved that he’s not overhyped
— I’ve liked him since he chased after Han Seungbeom to learn something more when all the other trainees were resting.
— How far ahead did the cult leader foresee…?
— Look at that fierce determination haha. A kid this desperate deserves to debut.
— Let’s debut, Danbi-ya.
The reactions were really enthusiastic. It hadn’t even been long since the performance ended, but a post featuring a side-by-side video comparing my dance to Seungbeom-hyung’s dance had already received over ten thousand retweets and was being widely discussed.
[Lee Danbi]
[Crazy Danbi]
[The Cult Leader’s Real Pick]
1
[Venomous Mountain Rabbit]
2
And my name was appearing on several real-time hot keywords.
It was the first time something like this happened to me.
I thought it was something that only happened to the top-ranking hyungs who dominated the leaderboard as if it were second nature, but people were looking at me too.
I was so shocked that I froze and stood there dumbfounded, and then I heard the live announcement coming from the monitor in the waiting room.
[“We’ll be revealing the mid-point rankings for a few of the trainees.”]
3
The moment I heard those words, my sense of reality snapped back, my body heated up, and my heart began pounding like crazy. A flicker of hope, a “
what if
” kind of feeling, surged within me. The kind of anticipation I had never dared to hold onto before was now boiling over inside me.
I held my pounding heart and waited for the leaderboard to appear on the monitor.
[Beep-boop!]
Soon after, the list appeared with a sound effect.
[12th place: SONG HANSEO]
[11th place: KIM MYUNGJAE]
.
.
.
[6th place: LEE DANBI]
When I saw my name written in the debut zone, I was so shocked that I clamped my hand over my mouth and froze on the spot. Then, the other hyungs rushed over and hugged me tightly.
“Congratulations, Danbi-ya!”
“Your hard work is finally paying off!”
As I was swept up by their rough gestures, I fought back tears and muttered to myself inwardly.
‘Noona … I think I can debut.’
I pointlessly covered my teary eyes with the back of my hand and let out a deep breath.
Then, Seungbeom-hyung’s words naturally came to mind.
“People love the moment when hard work bears fruit just as much as they love shining talent.”
“Because everyone knows, how difficult that is.”
[END OF LEE DANBI’S POV]
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Translator’s Corner:
You know how Seungbeom’s unofficial fandom name is like a religion … so they’re calling him 교주. It literally means “cult leader” or “religious sect leader”. Cult sounds a little too negative and Religious Sect is too long, so I keep it as Sect Leader.
EDIT: NVM cult sounds funnier, I changed it to cult. (only in this story) (it’s scary in real life, don’t go near it) ↩︎
They’re calling Danbi 산독기토끼 (Mountain + Poisonous / venomous) + Rabbit) since rabbit is Danbi’s animal in the first mission. The venomous part is because when someone showed strong /fierce will / determination / fiercely passionate about something, they will say “that person is full of venom/poison”. I chose venom instead because that one meme who said poisonous is when you bite it you die and venomous is for when it bites you and you die (i actually dont know if it’s actually true or just meme, but well). ↩︎
In survival show, on the last episode aka the final live broadcast, the show can go on for hours. Like not just 2 hours but it can go from 3 to 4 hours (or more? idk the last time I was pretty invested that I watched everything on real-time was on PD101 S2 and they literally took half an hour to announce each debut member), the “mid-point ranking” here is when they suddenly announced the current ranking of like, in the first hour of the live broadcast. A lot of votes can be added in the remaining hours that came after that, so the rankings they showed during this time is not to be taken as final rankings (tbh it serves as a crisis trigger for fans of the trainees who’s not in the debut zone ranking yet). They usually didn’t reveal everyone’s ranking though, just some trainees, that’s why here they also said “a few trainees”. They usually showed the temporary rankings that will shock everyone.
(Like if I remember correctly, in the final of PD101 S2, Lee Daehwi was announced at one of the trainees outside the top 11. But he finished the night as the 3rd place, so you can guess how crazy the panic is.) (but tbh, I didn’t trust Mnet lol they definitely just lowered his ranking at that time for drama like they did to Guanlin, Daehwi was basically the public pick at that time). ↩︎
Danbi fell for Seungbeom because HE GAVE HIM FOOD IS THE MOST REALEST THING, i used to have a crush on this guy on high school because he always gave me his share of snacks when we attended science competition as representative of our school together. The way to people heart is really food.
I found it really … tender? how we keep seeing other character’s POV that focused on their journey and MC as a “helpful character”, and how it didn’t look the world is revolving around the MC … and they way they described MC is … author-nim, you can’t do this to me … what am I going to do if you do this …………….. I seriously crushing on the MC so hard??????
Like I loved reading ever since I was in the elementary, and I am a fast reader who finished a 1000 pages of physical novel in 3-4 hours so you can guess how much I’ve read to get that fast …. but this is really the first time I’m obsessed OBSESSED WITH A FICTIONAL CHARACTER HELP MEEEE and I don’t even love him in romantically way like I did to otome games character …. I just want him to be happy …. what is this …. I’m already not interested in real life people and now I’m this smitten by a fictional character …