“Live voting is now closed.”
After doing my best, as always, to finish the performance, the announcement of the first place was underway.
“Who will be the winner of this week’s first place?”
As the MCs continued, I could see the numbers on the score tally screen quickly rise.
Except for Lee Hwayoung, the other members were pretending not to look at the numbers on the screen, glancing at fellow singers like COMA-1 and the MCs holding scripts, acting as though they weren’t expecting anything. They looked like children trying hard to act indifferent before receiving pocket money from a relative.
‘Children will be children.’
It was inevitable.
I had stood in this spot many times before, so it was a sight I was already quite used to, but our chick members were not. They probably told themselves not to expect too much, but they couldn’t help but feel excited.
‘The members of Prism were like that when they were rookies.’
The members of Prism have gained enough experience now that they wouldn’t show all their emotions like those children. They had grown into adults who could express their gratitude calmly and orderly, without giving anyone a reason to criticize them.
‘These guys, too, will someday become like the members of Prism.’
That moment might arrive at the end of Pantheion’s activities, at the earliest, or after they have returned to their respective agencies and successfully resumed their careers.
I lowered my gaze, imagining what these guys would look like when they were more mature.
“…….”
Will I still be by their side when they grow up?
I suddenly wondered that question.
Everything is in accordance with Han Seungbeom’s wishes.
I couldn’t be certain about when Han Seungbeom would return or what kind of life he was hoping for, but I would respect that child’s choice.
No, even if Han Seungbeom told me to stay in his body, I might not fully accept it.
‘…I don’t think I can believe him.’
What meaning could the words
“it’s okay
” possibly have?
Han Seungbeom was someone who lived his whole life making choices for the sake of others, never having the chance to live like a child. The words of someone who didn’t even know what a
happy life
was or what it felt like to have someone who
cared for him
held no meaning.
If I hoped that such a child would willingly hand over his life to others, it would undoubtedly be an act of selfishness for my own convenience. While I wanted to stay by the side of Seo Yuseong and the members, no matter what price I had to pay, I didn’t want to make others bear that cost.
Especially if it’s someone who hasn’t even lived for 20 years, someone who’s still too young.
“How many times do I have to say it? Hyung, the problem is your affection.”
Subconsciously, Seo Yuseong’s cold voice echoed in my ears.
“You picked up another one like that?”
As I was quietly pondering over it, I suddenly realized something.
Until just a moment ago, I thought that my world just consisted of Seo Yuseong, Prism, the members of Pantheion, and Choi Jeokhyeon.
But at some point, it seemed that Han Seungbeom had also stepped into that world, little by little.
His footprints were so small that they couldn’t be considered human.
‘Human nature doesn’t change that easily.’
Seo Yuseong always wanted me to become heartless, but that was easier said than done.
“…….”
As I blinked slowly while thinking about such things, Woo Kangwon walked up next to me and grabbed my arm. I wasn’t sure why Woo Kangwon, who was standing at the edge, suddenly came all the way over here. I glanced at what he was doing and then looked up at him.
He smiled gently at me, but didn’t say anything. Then, he returned to looking straight ahead calmly.
“Show us the results!”
As I shifted my gaze, the drumming sound that had been building tension stopped, and the numbers on the score tally screen froze. Then, the main MC shouted in a lively voice.
“This week’s first place winner is!”
Bang!
“Congratulations to Pantheion!”
With a popping sound, confetti scattered across the stage.
“We’re really number one!”
“Uh, uh, what, what should we do? Re-receive speech, we have to.”
“Kiryang-ah, calm down. It’s an acceptance speech.”
“Victory!”
I could see the members holding their heads with both hands in disbelief and looking at each other with flushed faces.
If I could visualize
happiness
, this must be exactly what it would look like.
The pounding of their hearts, the hot flush on their faces—just by watching them, it felt like all their emotions were being transmitted to me.
‘Who will be the happiest about today’s achievement?’
Woo Kangwon, who was forcibly robbed of his dream and barely found a new light. Baek Kiryang, who rejected the predetermined path and forged his own way. Lee Hwayoung, who followed in the footsteps of someone who was both an idol and family. Do Yuda, who has been running along the same path for the longest time from the youngest age. Nagi Zen, who came to a foreign country where he knew no one for the sake of a dream. Lee Danbi, who needed proof more than anyone in the harsh reality.
I carefully looked at each of the members’ faces one by one and gave up on finding an answer to that question.
Look, they all had such happy faces. How could I possibly judge who was superior?
Regardless of the reason, everyone’s dreams are worth honoring and cherishing.
I was so lucky to be able to gift this moment to these children.
“Pantheion is now a number one singer!”
“I’m so happy…….”
With this, Pantheion had set a new record as the fastest boygroup to get the first win on a music show.
The amount of time it took for a group to achieve their first win didn’t necessarily determine a group’s success or failure. It was an undeniable fact that idols from survival programs, who debuted with huge fanbases, or those from major entertainment companies, who attracted a lot of attention, had a clear advantage in setting such records.
I knew that as much as there were idols who gradually climbed their way to the top, there could be just as many groups that shone when they debuted and fell off without being able to maintain that sparkle.
“Seungbeom-ah!”
“Nicholas!”
“Yuda-ya!”
“Bambi Danbi!”
“Woo Kangwon!”
“Zen!”
But…….
“Congratulations!”
“Pantheion! Let’s be happy!”
To me, this really felt like the best possible start.
I bowed deeply to the Muses who were at the front of the stage.
Then, the members, who were too shocked to compose themselves, followed my lead and bowed towards the audience.
“Waaaaaah!”
As the roar of the fans, loud enough to drown out the sound of the confetti shooters, gradually died down, the MC who had appeared in the challenge video with Do Yuda and Zen handed me the microphone and spoke.
“Pantheion, who achieved their first number one since debut, could you share a few words about how you’re feeling?”
I took the microphone from the MC and calmly opened my mouth.
“Thank you so much, Muses. We will always remember that it is because of all of you that we are here today. We may not be able to fully repay the overwhelming love you’ve given us, but we will always do our best to show you the best version of Pantheion.”
I had undoubtedly repeated this experience so many times that I could no longer recount all my awards within such a short period.
“Thank you to our A&R team, makeup artists, stylists, dancers, and all the staff who worked so hard with us this time. And I also sincerely thank the families who have supported the members up until now.”
And since Pantheion’s win today had already been predicted, everything being said now was part of a perfectly prepared speech. As a result, there was not a single moment of stumbling or a trembling voice while I was delivering the memorized acceptance speech.
“…And to our members.”
Yet, despite that, it felt as though some deep emotion was piercing through my heart
As I looked at the joyful faces of the members and fans, I felt something tighten in my chest, overpowering the sense of familiarity.
[The time I spent loving you was so humiliating that I erased my entire youth from my memory. It’s all your fault, so please, have some shame and never show yourself in public again.]
[Please leave Prism. The others would have done well even without you. Because of your selfishness, you dragged them to this for no reason and made them hear things they shouldn’t have. You hurt the kids. How can you call yourself a
leader
? If it were me, I’d have left right away because I was too embarrassed to face Nam Yihwon.]
[I wish you’d just keep your mouth shut and say nothing. I’m tired and can’t stand looking at you anymore. You seem to think you’ve been treated unfairly, but it doesn’t matter what excuses you bring up now, it’s useless, so just stop … It’s just making things hard for the Prism members, they’re constantly being brought up because of you. It might all have been a lie, but if you even care about Seras or Prism a little, please just stay quiet.]
What kind of emotion is this, so difficult to even name?
“You’ve worked really hard. Thank you.”
Ah, maybe it was
happiness
.
Or is it the sense of loss and longing for that happiness?
“Thank you. I love you, Myumyu!”
“Thank you!”
“Yes, once again, congratulations on your first win, Pantheion.”
After a few bows to the performers as they exited the stage following the MCs’ remarks, I wrapped my arms around the shoulders of the members who had gathered in a circle.
Then, I spoke in a low voice.
“Congratulations.”
“…….”
“Oh.”
Then, the members who had been exchanging glances stared at me in a daze.
Even Lee Hwayoung, who was the only one not showing any agitation, was staring at me with his eyes widened.
Puzzled by that, I lifted my head and met their gazes. Suddenly, Do Yuda made a ‘
huff
‘ sound and choked on his breath. Then, in the blink of an eye, tears welled up in his dark, shiny eyes.
“You’re the one who worked the hardest, so why did you give such an acceptance speech? Ugh. Ah, I tried so hard to hold back my tears earlier! It’s all ruined!”
“Leada is really the best.”
Then, feeling something heavy on my back, I turned my head and saw Lee Danbi stuck to me like a gum, tears pouring from his eyes like a faucet. Without sniffing, without a single disrupted breath, without a sound of sobbing, just with a blank expression.
‘Is it even possible for a person to cry like that?’
It just looked like tears had been photoshopped into Lee Danbi’s usual face.
“Huhu, Seungbeom-ah.”
“…….”
Ah, as one of them started crying, the rest of them, except for Lee Hwayoung, burst into tears as well..
And the one who wasn’t crying was clutching the hem of my outfit and clamping his mouth shut.
I looked at the five who were drenched in tears and the one who looked angry about something, then let out a light sigh.
Then, the MR of the title track started playing.
And in that moment, the corners of my mouth, which had softly curved upward, straightened into a firm line as they turned down.
My eyes widened and I gripped the members’ shoulders tightly.
“What are you doing? Wipe your tears and put the trophy down on the floor.”
“…Uh?”
“Huh?”
I opened my mouth again towards the members who still hadn’t realized what was happening.
“Get ready for the encore.”
First place promise?
Just give it to the dogs.
If they played the MR for you to sing and cleared the stage for you to dance, then you should do it properly.
If there’s someone doing it half-heartedly, I can’t predict what will happen to me either.
I looked up at the ceiling in silence.
And then, I thought.
‘What if I want to kill that someone?’
While I was thinking that with my eyes rolled upward, Do Yuda, who looked like a dog with his tail twitching in fear, stammered while keeping his gaze fixed on the floor
“Why, why did it suddenly turn into a horror movie when we were so emotional just a moment ago?”
In response, I smiled brightly like sunshine, took off the microphone, and then spoke to the group with my hand over my mouth.
“Do it like the live broadcast. If you make a mistake, I won’t let you off.”
“…….”
“…….”
Among the members, whose faces were drained of blood, Zen spoke stiffly like a machine.
“Emergency. Emergency. It’s an emergency. Life or death crisis.”
The Muses saved our lives, so we should save theirs too, right?
Now, the death game begins. Any loser brat who misses even one thing, from the ad-libs to the movement, will be sent to hell.
You can support this translation through Buy Me a Coffee!
Translator’s Corner:
#Pantheion1stWin
T_T T_T T_T CONGRATULATIONS FOR OUR PANTHEION T_T
It’s such a happy moment we should celebrate ….. I’m happy I still have the time to reach this point ….
but I’m very sad today and this chapter just makes me … more sad … sadder … SADDEST SADDDD LIKE MC WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY THIS IS SUCH A HAPPY MOMENT WHY ARE YOU BUSY THINKING LIKE THAT T_T MY HEART HURT FOR YOU T_T YOU ALWAYS THOUGHT ABOUT HOW DANBI IS A STRONG CHILD BUT JUST BECAUSE HE’S STRONG DOESNT MEAN THE COMMENTS WONT HURT HIM THEN WHAT ABOUT YOUUUUUUUUUU T_T
Ok I’ll continue crying now