“…Kang Hyukwoo killed him.”
Lim Seunghoon’s shout made reality fade away, as if my body were floating in the air.
“Kang Hyukwoo killed him. Kang Hyukwoo … it wasn’t me who killed him!”
It seemed almost unreal that there were words that could shock me this much in such a short period of time.
‘I’m certain I died by suicide, but Kang Hyukwoo killed me? And Lim Seunghoon was involved in that?’
As I opened my mouth, in sync with the scream in my mind, I could feel my breath trembling as it brushed past my teeth and the edge of my lips.
At that moment, I realized something.
Something was wrong with me right now.
Whether it was shock or confusion, I was far from being in a normal state.
The moment I became aware of it, the compulsion to get my dulled brain back into working order as quickly as possible began to take over. And before the confused Lim Seunghoon could collect himself, my thoughts started racing.
‘I can’t be sure that the person Lim Seunghoon says Kang Hyukwoo killed is actually me.’
I was becoming more agitated than necessary about my death simply because I couldn’t remember the contents of the suicide note. I had intended to leave that note and take my life to give weight to my words, but now I couldn’t even be sure it actually existed, leaving me in shock over my own death.
‘In the midst of all that, I heard ‘Kang Hyukwoo killed him’, so I ended up unconsciously jumping to conclusions.’
Lim Seunghoon’s screams did not include ‘
who
‘ he had killed.
In other words, it could have been someone else, not me, who had been killed by Kang Hyukwoo.
Given that Kang Hyukwoo was connected to gangsters and involved in shady businesses, I probably wasn’t the only one who had died around him. So, there must have been another person whose relationship with me could explain why Lim Seunghoon was startled and recoiled in fear when I mentioned ‘
Seo Yutae
‘.
For example, my father.
My father was found dead in the sea after I had a terrible argument with him.
“Father … at this point, wouldn’t it be better to just die?”
Yes, that very day.
Of course, even though I said those words, I didn’t kill him. It was just an emotional rebuke for the wrongs he had done, but I could never possibly harm him.
Where in the world would you find a child who can kill their own parents without any hesitation?
Even if such people actually existed, I could never become one of them.
No matter how badly Seo Yuseong wanted to abandon our father, I always tried to protect our family until the end.
However, as testimonies emerged one after another claiming they had witnessed me arguing with my father that day, I began to be suspected as the murderer who killed him.
‘…It’s not even funny. Being accused of killing my own father.’
Contrary to what the world might think, the truth was this.
During our argument, my father pushed me away and left on his own accord.
And after that, I never heard from him again.
My father’s body was found a few days later. I never saw him alive again after that argument.
At that time, my father was already quite drunk, and since he was a person who often did dangerous things, I assumed he had simply tripped and died in an accident.
In the end, I succeeded in proving that I hadn’t killed my father, and since his body was already quite damaged by the ocean’s currents, the case was closed with no further evidence of possible murder.
However, in hindsight, it was not out of the realm of possibility that someone else might have been involved.
It meant that the person Kang Hyukwoo killed could have been my father, not me.
Since it was my father, it was understandable that Lim Seunghoon panicked the moment my name was mentioned. In his panic, he had denied the thing he feared the most, so he probably didn’t care too much about the context in which the words came out.
‘I shouldn’t rule out the possibility that Lim Seunghoon is talking about my father.’
But what is this emotion?
I felt like the hypothesis I came up with under rational thinking was not true. It seemed like the sense of guilt Lim Seunghoon was directing wasn’t aimed at my father.
It was my heart, not my head, that was talking to me.
What Lim Seunghoon is saying right now isn’t that.
‘Don’t run away.’
“…….”
And the moment I realized the incongruity, I was overcome with an unbearable rage. It felt as if I was being consumed by an immense fury, powerful enough to completely shatter the very being of
Seo Yutae
, and my own character or position meant nothing.
‘Even if I were to find out that Kang Hyukwoo killed my father, I don’t think I would be as agitated as I was before.’
Was I the kind of person who could feel this much anger over my father’s death?
Now, when I thought of my father, I no longer felt any pangs of sorrow.
I had already realized that my feelings for my father had become quite dull. In contrast, now my mind seemed to be invaded by unreasonably intense emotions, but I couldn’t figure out where they came from.
Everything was full of questions.
It felt like a ball of yarn that had been spinning fast, without knowing its final destination, had hit a corner and gotten stuck in a tangled, leaving everything in chaos. I couldn’t say for certain where the truth began and where the lies started, or what errors might have been made along the way.
‘The suicide note definitely exists. If it didn’t, Lim Seunghoon wouldn’t have reacted so agitated when I brought up the suicide note.’
I was also certain that I had fallen to my death from the top of the building.
I remembered the scene so clearly, it couldn’t be a lie.
It was a fear so profound, only a
truth
could explain it. The fear was etched deep into my subconscious.
The sensation felt when I was falling off an amusement ride. I could still remember that chilling sensation of falling so vividly, how could I say that memory was false?
‘…What the hell did you do?’
The question in my mind rose to the tip of my tongue, but was forcibly held back by the faint trace of reason still lingering.
“…….”
Lim Seunghoon shouldn’t have known the agitation I was feeling.
Just a moment ago, I’d pushed him as if I knew everything. Now, if I showed that I couldn’t follow the conversation and started probing him with questions, it would be difficult to extract more information from Lim Seunghoon in the future.
I had to exist as Han Seungbeom, who knew everything and therefore held Lim Seunghoon’s life in his hands, not as Seo Yutae, who had deep trust in Lim Seunghoon and was betrayed.
But even as I made these calculations in my head, I felt like my heart was flooded with poison, and the rippling sensation at the entrance kept overtaking my reason.
I was already at my limit.
From the moment I faced Lim Seunghoon’s face, without other beings to compel me to maintain the identity of
Han Seungbeom
, I was already beyond my limits.
I acted uncharacteristically stupid.
I acted like an idiot, thinking that I could see the man who betrayed me, hear the truth, and still be able to talk to him peacefully. I was too arrogant to realize that.
The pounding of my heart showed no sign of slowing down, and the blood flow to my brain was getting faster and faster, making my head feel like it was going to explode.
‘…My head hurts.’
I even felt my eyeballs stinging.
Was this because of the anger I was feeling?
Or maybe it was because I completely forgot to blink.
“…….”
It was getting harder and harder to control my facial expressions.
I stood up and looked down at Lim Seunghoon, not even knowing what kind of expression I was making.
Crash!
Then, Lim Seunghoon’s swaying body, unable to recover from his drunkenness, collapsed straight to the floor.
The collision of the sturdy adult male’s body caused the surrounding objects to fall with a loud crash.
“Argh, ugh ……. Aaaah!”
After stumbling several times, he pathetically and urgently managed to get up, then without looking back at me, he started to run. I stared blankly at the sight and, almost unconsciously, murmured to myself.
“…Where are you going? We haven’t finished talking yet.”
It looked like Lim Seunghoon was trying to run away.
I had to catch him.
“Anyway, no matter how much you run, the fact that I know the truth won’t change, and it’s over for you now. You can never escape.”
Catch him … Catch him, and what should I do next?
I have to make him tell the truth, but how?
“Ah, it would end if you die. I forgot about that.”
If I tear off his limbs to pieces, will he open his mouth properly?
Or should I just strangle him until his eyeballs flip over and foam comes up?
“I have to stay still and watch as everything I tried to protect shatters into pieces. It feels like the only way for all of this to end is for me to die.”
Unable to control the rage that was burning uncontrollably like a fire, I forced my limp limbs to move and started walking after him. I wanted to pick up my pace and grab him by the hair and yank him off his feet, but for some reason I couldn’t seem to pick up the speed.
But then, I thought, maybe it would be better if I didn’t catch him.
I couldn’t even predict what I was going to do.
“Do you have any idea what that feels like?”
“Ugh, argh!”
Step by step, step by step.
As I slowly chased after Lim Seunghoon, he glanced back and let out a scream of terror, then moved his legs more urgently and kicked the door open, running out.
While I was following him, a hand grabbed my forearm.
Lim Seunghoon had already run out of the store, so there was only one other person in the store besides me.
“Customer-nim, are you okay?”
It was the owner of the store. He was looking at my face with a worried expression, holding onto my sagging body firmly as if to support it.
“…….”
“Your complexion looks so bad. I didn’t place any alcohol on your side like you requested, but was there some sort of mistake? This is strange. I don’t smell any alcohol on you.”
…Your complexion is so bad?
Who?
As I muttered that question to myself, not understanding what the other person was saying, my knees buckled. Then, an unbearable wave of nausea hit me.
‘I haven’t had a single sip of alcohol, so why?’
“Customer-nim!”
Unable to respond to the owner’s words, I rushed into the bathroom and buried my head in the toilet of the nearest stall. Then I threw up everything as my stomach churned. I kept vomiting until there was nothing left to spit out, only a greenish, watery liquid coming out.
“Ugh!”
I stayed like that for a while, and even though there was nothing left to vomit, my stomach churned with every breath, making me feel even more nauseous. As a physiological response, tears streamed from my eyes, trickling down my nose and dropping into the toilet.
‘…How much time has passed?’
I must go and catch Lim Seunghoon.
There were a mountain of things I had to ask, but I couldn’t find the strength to do so.
As I unconsciously slumped down on the floor, I heard the sound of someone running towards me. I forced my flashing white vision to look at the entrance to the bathroom, and I felt a sense of deja vu.
“…….”
Ah, it was a very similar sight to when Lee Hwayoung picked up Woo Kangwon.
The only difference was that the figure who had approached me, unlike Lee Hwayoung, had jet-black hair, dark eyelashes, and reddish eyes. Instead of a trainee shirt with the Grade written on it, he was wearing a suit and dress shoes.
“Yu……”
Through my muffled eardrums, I could somehow hear a voice calling me by my original name.
“…Senses…”
I could see a blur of black and red through my blurred vision.
They were the colors he often used.
Only after the scent of the bathroom air freshener was replaced by the familiar scent of his perfume did I realize that the figure who had rushed in was close enough to grab hold of my body.
“…Choi Jeokhyeon.”
And as soon as I uttered the name of the person in front of me, my vision went dark.
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Translator’s Corner:
Oh the genre suddenly changed at the end … CJH really looked like he was put in a wrong genre …
Giggles, arent you confused … well, just enjoy it. All your question will probably be answered in … idk, a month? Let’s hope I can enjoy January peacefully … the positive outcome of going back to my hometown is I don’t need to pay rent … I’m just paying with my peace of mind now … good thing about growing old is now I learned not to react to neighbour’s gossip … can’t hear them at all if I just don’t get out (This is not to be followed) (You need to socialize if you live in a village)
And seriously, I already read it all (for like, 100 times) so I understand the reason why MC is having that kind of moral principle, but even as I read this I CANT HELP BUT THINK CJH SHOULD JUST KILL THEM ALLLL. SOMETIMES M U R D E R IS OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you One of the Anons for the lightsticks!
Oh, I already managed the roof … it’s rainy season so I have no other choice if I want my things to survive, I can climb house roof just fine … (actually, it was because when I was young I used to climb trees that high enough so I won’t be seen from the ground) (I’m an expert in climbing)
And the table … I am planning to buy that kind of small plastic table that you can fold, there’s a lot of it online, the problem is … I’m stuck with the address things … let alone house number, the area I lived in doesn’t even have street name asdfhjkl I don’t want to make life hard for the delivery man. Honestly before I went for college, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with my hometown. But after I lived in a big students city, now all I could think is how did people survive in this rural village T_T no public transportation, no food delivery … even the nearest city doesn’t have a cinema … omg, I guess this is what rofan MC feels when they suddenly isekai-d and have no phone
A positive thing is it’s really really near the sea. Just 5 minutes from nearest beach. I guess if I want healing I can just watch the sunset….