I don’t care, so do whatever you want
. Until I said those words, Nam Yihwon seemed taken aback. However, as soon as I said I was going to finish this
project
, he scoffed with an ‘
I knew it
‘ expression, and then spoke.
“So, all you wanted was a song? Why didn’t you say so from the start? Since Chise-hyung keeps churning out hit songs, did you get a little greedy?”
“…….”
“No matter how good of a person Chise-hyung is, you’re going too far by treating him like a complete pushover. Ah, now I remember, you’re the junior that Yoo Jay has been chasing after like a madman lately. How on earth did you manage to pick out the two easiest targets in our group and make them act so cute?”
It was interesting to hear that Lee Chise and Jay were easy to pick on.
While Lee Chise might be considered to have the most gentle and approachable personality in our group, he was still a Prism at his core. When there was someone they didn’t like, it was the nature of Prism to step on them from above. There was no way Lee Chise of
Prism
would be easy to mess with.
‘The rose-colored glasses is working overtime.’
Jay … well, he was the youngest, so no matter what he did, he would always seem easy to pick on in the eyes of his older brothers. Even if he came back from burying someone’s body out there. The fact that we used to pick him up every day, worried he might get robbed on his way to or from school, even though that guy was already over 180 cm in his school days, should be enough to explain it all.
‘Well, that’s Jay’s fault too. He liked it when his hyungs dropped him off, so he acted like he was scared on purpose….’
I didn’t really have the right to say this, considering I played along even though I knew that fox cub was just putting on an act, but now that I looked at it from a third-party perspective, I realized that none of us were exactly normal.
“If you need a song, I’ll introduce you to another famous composer, so stop messing with my members and get out of here. I can’t stand seeing my groupmate being taken advantage of.”
“Another composer?”
“Fine, I’ll get you a song from not just a famous, but the best composer out there. Is that enough for you?”
Nam Yihwon lifted one corner of his mouth, perhaps mistakenly thinking that I was tempted by his words. Without a moment’s hesitation, I rejected him.
“No, I don’t need it.”
“…Are you kidding me? I’ll give you what you want. So, get the hell out of here right now.”
I noticed one of his eyebrows, usually so relaxed, was now furrowed in irritation.
‘Oh.’
I couldn’t help but marvel inwardly at this aggressive side of Nam Yihwon, who used to always cling to me and fawn over me. I spoke up calmly before he could get even more irritated.
“I don’t need to rely on other composers. I can easily create hit songs on my own.”
“…….”
A moment of silence followed the words I spat out without emotion.
Then Lee Chise, as if he had expected this all along, sighed and shook his head. Although he had been angry just a moment ago, his fury eventually calmed down as he found the situation, which had started from a misunderstanding, hilarious.
Nam Yihwon, after hearing what I said, simply turned to look at Lee Chise as if asking, ‘
Is he out of his mind?
‘
I guess that was the difference between someone who knew I composed my own songs and someone who didn’t.
‘Why would I get a song from someone else? Do you have any idea how much I make in royalties every year, you brat?’
“Even if I screw everything up and end up starving to death, I’ll only perform with songs I’ve composed myself. So, you don’t need to worry about me scheming to get a song from you.”
And the moment the words left my tongue, I muttered to myself, ‘
Oh, I made a mistake
.’
“Even if I screw everything up, I will only perform with songs I’ve composed myself. This is a matter of my pride. I’d rather die than compromise on that. Do you understand?”
There was a time when I had a heated argument with Kang Hyukwoo in front of the members. And then, of course, I ended up blurting out the phrase I always said out of habit, right in front of Prism’s members. I felt a chill run down my spine and when I looked up, the two of them were just staring blankly at me.
“…….”
“…….”
‘…This much is fine. It’ll be okay.’
It was only natural for self-producing artists to have a deep-rooted pride in the songs they’ve composed. Wasn’t there an unspoken rule that rappers should write their own lyrics? This was just a common sentiment.
Having comforted myself, I quickly tried to defuse the situation.
“I’m not here to ask for a song, but to give one. I’m simply trying to keep my prior commitment. I made a promise to work with Lee Chise-sunbaenim before my debut. If you don’t trust me that much, it’s fine if you don’t put my name on it.”
“…They really look alike.”
It wasn’t until I heard Lee Chise muttering in a daze that I realized ‘
Ah, I shouldn’t have said that
‘. I had completely forgotten that Lee Chise knew I had given Cha Woon the songs for nothing.
I’d given him another instance where he could see the similarities between Seo Yutae and Han Seungbeom.
‘…I really shouldn’t run into these damn Prism kids.’
I had no idea why … these guys kept remembering every word I said and every habit I had.
Please live like Do Yuda, you damn Prism’s members, Choi Jeokhyeon, Lee Hwayoung. My life is so hard because you’re not simple-minded.
“…Don’t lie to me.”
Fortunately, Nam Yihwon didn’t sense anything wrong with the second statement and spoke with a voice full of distrust.
Then, Lee Chise opened his mouth, ready to explain to Nam Yihwon, who still didn’t trust me at all. But I grabbed him and shook my head firmly. It was a signal that he didn’t need to explain himself for my sake.
“…Seungbeom-ah.”
“It’s fine. We’re not going to work on this for a long time anyway.”
“The great Lee Chise is accepting help from others?”
I had a rough idea based on Nam Yihwon’s attitude earlier. Lee Chise still hadn’t shared anything about his slump with the members of Prism.
‘From Nam Yihwon’s perspective, since Lee Chise had been working alone just fine until now, hearing that he suddenly needs my help must have made him think it was just a lie.’
I couldn’t tell if he just didn’t want to worry the members, or if he just felt uncomfortable talking about his struggles with others. But anyway, up until the moment I became a variable, he had kept his mouth shut in front of the members. I didn’t want to force him to talk about it because of me.
‘How long could it possibly take to work on it? Enduring that much is nothing.’
If it had been another person picking a fight, my temper would have exploded from the start and I would have overturned everything. But since it was a member of Prism, I could tolerate it.
“If all of this still doesn’t clear up the misunderstanding, then it’s fine if you continue to think that way. As I mentioned earlier, I’m okay with you doubting me or finding me disgusting. Getting cursed at isn’t going to affect my work, so I’ll finish this as quickly as possible and leave.”
“You…….”
I meant to say, “
No matter what emotions you express, I’ll just accept them
“, but for some reason, it seemed like Nam Yihwon took it as a declaration of of war, like “
What can you possibly do?”
.
He glared at me as if he was going to crush me, then grabbed the back of my head and let go roughly enough for my head to tilt slightly. He then spoke in a raspy voice.
“Let’s see if you can endure it.”
“…….”
“I’m curious too, how much you can endure.”
***
From that point on, I practically stayed in Lee Chise’s studio and began to devote myself to working on the title track of his solo album. During that time, Lee Chise persistently asked about my future plans, but each time, I responded with silence.
True to his word, Nam Yihwon started showing up at Lee Chise’s studio after every shoot. He probably still thought I was using the relationship between Prism and RH Entertainment as an excuse to latch onto Lee Chise or the other Prism’s members for my own gain.
While Lee Chise and I worked, he would always crouch at a distance like a wary animal, quietly watching us. Only when Lee Chise left the room would he approach me.
Sometimes he would suddenly snatch my phone and search through my chat history, other times he would treat me as if I were completely invisible, and occasionally he would menacingly threaten me or hurl insults at me. Every time he acted violently towards me, I would just let it pass without reacting.
Then I noticed the level of his actions escalating to the point where I could clearly see the underlying thoughts of, ‘
You’re not hurt by this
?’ and ‘
You’re not going to leave even if I do this?
‘.
But I was doing better than I expected.
I wasn’t the type to get hurt by such things, and I was too busy with work to pay attention to anything else. I also felt that I was somewhat responsible for Nam Yihwon’s current state.
‘…Indeed, no matter how much I deny it, I’m pretty soft when it comes to the members of Prism.’
As I had that thought and turned my head, I saw Lee Chise muttering to himself while staring at the monitor without even blinking.
“…….”
The bright light from the monitor sharply illuminated his pale gray eyes, making them glow white. He’d been in that state ever since he started working on the rap.
‘He claimed to be in a slump, but now he’s doing just fine without any issues….’
Lee Chise had always been like that. His style was to unleash explosive concentration in such a short amount of time to produce optimal results. You could say he was the closest thing to the stereotypical image of a genius. It was the complete opposite of me, who would lock myself in the studio and neglect eating or drinking until I got a satisfying result.
I had already finished most of the important parts, like the hook, before coming to the studio. So, I just quietly adjusted his work, catching the words Lee Chise mumbled without realizing. Since Lee Chise was the main character of this project, I planned to assist him in every way possible so that he could fully showcase his abilities.
“Here, a bit more.”
“Okay.”
Despite the lack of a proper conversation, the work progressed seamlessly, as if we were gears made to run together from the beginning. And in that synchronization, I didn’t feel any sense of dissonance or awkwardness.
It felt like we had gone back in time.
While we were deeply engrossed in our work, Nam Yihwon, who had somehow returned to the studio and was quietly watching us, suddenly jumped to his feet. Then, he cursed loudly and tried to leave the studio with an irritated stride.
“…F*ck, I really can’t stand it.”
Lee Chise, who had naturally lost his concentration after finishing the part he was working on, said quietly without even turning to look at him.
“Where are you going? You haven’t gotten any sleep since you finished filming. And you haven’t eaten either.”
“…….”
“It’s raining outside. If you overexert yourself to go there, our hyung won’t be happy.”
“…….”
“I fully understand what you’re feeling, but please don’t visit Hyung while you’re in the middle of filming, Hwon-ah. Your body won’t be able to handle it.”
“…….”
He stayed quiet, offering no response. Lee Chise rubbed his face with his palm and let out a heavy sigh. He must have been feeling the same way I was. I had a pretty good hunch of where Nam Yihwon was trying to go.
I suppressed the churning in my stomach caused by my complicated feelings, and chased after Nam Yihwon, who was about to leave the studio again out of worry. Then, I hurriedly shoved a bag into his hand and said,
“…Please make sure to eat. It’s a bit cold, though.”
It was a lunch box.
It had cooled a bit from being left unattended while I was immersed in my work, but it should still be decent enough to eat.
Nam Yihwon glanced down at the lunchbox I held out, then let out a small chuckle and swatted my hand away. He then grabbed me by the collar and slammed me against the wall.
Bang!
As I slowly opened my eyes, still feeling the throbbing pain in my back, I was met with a gaze filled with a level of anger far beyond what I had faced during our argument with Lee Chise before. He was glaring at me as if he wanted to kill me.
“Hey … are you really that slow? Do you really care that much about whether the person who’s f*cking cursing at you has eaten or not?”
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Translator’s Corner:
Day 6 … I bring dramamama …. traumamama ….
No but can’t they hold back a little asdfghjkl what are they doing with Han Seungbeom’s body omg that child already malnourished and mistreated while growing up, and now he got violently grabbed every 10 chapters …. give his body a break, you big guys T_T