[YOO JAY’S POV]
Even though we weren’t related by blood, the members of Prism considered each other family.
The bond we shared was far deeper than other close-knit groups that simply used the phrase “
like family
”. We weren’t just colleagues or friends who worked together—we were a
real
family, always putting each other first and walking through life together. We were seven brothers, with Yutae-hyung as the eldest and me as the youngest.
‘To me, Yutae-hyung felt closer to a parent than an eldest brother.’
I figured the reason we ended up with a bond that could even be called abnormal was probably because none of us had a
proper
family.
Starting with Jo Inchan, who was raised by his grandmother, Nam Yihwon, who lived under the shadow of his parents, Cha Woon, who grew up in an orphanage, and even the Seo brothers and me—how did a group end up filled with people like us? It was a mystery even to us.
Maybe it was because we didn’t have proper guardians at a young age that we failed to recognize RH Entertainment or Kang Hyukwoo’s violence and wrongdoing early on and walk away. Or maybe it was because we had nowhere to return to after failure that we had no choice but to endure desperately and succeed.
We made a family out of each other to survive.
And in this world full of enemies, we decided to be each other’s unconditional allies.
[The deceased Seo Yuseong]
The depth of our grief at the death of our member was something no one outside of our group could ever fully grasp. Especially for Yutae-hyung, who cherished him so dearly.
“Alright, everyone, say hello. This is the new trainee starting today.”
When I first met Seo Yuseong, I could tell right away just by looking at him that he was Yutae-hyung’s blood relative. That’s how similar their features and the aura they gave off were.
It wasn’t that he looked identical to Yutae hyung, like a twin.
Unlike Yutae-hyung, whose sharp features gave him a strong, masculine presence, Seo Yuseong had a more pretty-boy appearance. His slightly wavy hair that curled at the ends, long eyelashes, eyes tinged with red at the corners, a tear mole, and a slimmer frame compared to Yutae-hyung all softened his otherwise striking resemblance to his terribly fierce-looking brother.
“When I look at Seo Yuseong, I often think of our mother.”
I later learned from Yutae-hyung that while both brothers inherited their mother’s features, but Seo Yuseong resembled her far more than Yutae-hyung did. He said that if their mother had a sturdier build and short hair, she would look almost identical to Seo Yuseong.
People who only knew Seo Yuseong from his media appearances might say he looked exactly like Yutae-hyung. But those who knew the brothers personally would say the complete opposite.
Seo Yuseong was different from Yutae-hyung.
He was so cold and distant that it was hard to believe he was the younger brother of Yutae-hyung, whose inner warmth and gentleness were so at odds with his tough exterior.
I wasn’t even sure if ‘
cold’
was the right word to describe him. To me, Seo Yuseong seemed almost hollow. He was the complete opposite of Lee Saehwa, who used his attractive demeanor and appearance as a mask to charm or manipulate those around him. Seo Yuseong, on the other hand, had a dry, indifferent personality. He was completely uninterested in other people’s emotions and made no effort to understand them.
No matter how I tried to put it in a good light, it was impossible to describe Seo Yuseong without acknowledging his abnormality. Even within Prism, a group full of people with unusual personalities, he stood out exceptionally.
“…Isn’t he a little strange?”
“Just looking at Seo Yuseong makes my skin crawl.”
The fact that people regularly picked up on something strange about his personality spoke volumes about how extreme it had been. Fortunately, Seo Yuseong was highly intelligent and skilled at
learning
socially acceptable behavior. And he did, on occasion, experience human-like emotions—though not very often.
“My brother pushes himself too hard when left alone. I need to stay by his side all the time.”
Specifically, when it came to situations involving his older brother.
“No matter what our father or those other bastards say, I will never abandon Seo Yuseong.”
Yutae-hyung was well aware that Seo Yuseong behaved differently from most people. He had mentioned that these issues were was significantly worse when he was younger, so he must have understood it better than any of us.
“I quite like this group.”
Perhaps it was Yutae-hyung who had the greatest influence in helping Seo Yuseong reach a point where he could form proper relationships with the other members.
Just how much love must our hyung have poured into raising such an unusual younger brother on his own? It was a feat that would have been difficult, even if an entire family had worked together.
Our hyung surely never imagined that he would lose Seo Yuseong so suddenly, and in that way.
On the day the members of Prism and our manager went on a trip to the sea together, Seo Yuseong went missing.
Due to unexpected bad weather, the members had to stay inside their lodging and couldn’t go out. Most of them were passed out drunk, and Yutae-hyung wasn’t there since he had already left Prism by then.
Seo Yuseong had likely gone near the sea alone at dawn and gotten into an accident. He was only there because the other members wanted to go to the beach; normally, he wouldn’t go anywhere near the water. We had no idea how he ended up falling into the sea.
A few days after news of Seo Yuseong’s disappearance broke, Lee Saehwa said he couldn’t get in touch with our hyung.
My initial reaction was sheer panic; I feared something had happened to my hyung, and my heart felt like it was plummeting. That’s how much Seo Yuseong meant to Yutae-hyung.
But a few days later, my hyung reappeared with Lee Saehwa, silently fulfilling his role as the chief mourner at his younger brother’s funeral without shedding a single tear. When the other members of Prism, blaming themselves for not even realizing the accident had happened while they were together, broke down in tears, I remembered he quietly told us not to. He appeared so calm, even resolute, in front of us that I thought he was overcoming this incident well. And after that, he actually continued his work without any apparent issues.
However, I tried my best not to mention Yuseong-hyung in front of my hyung unless he brought him up first. I believed that even if he had overcome his grief, there was no good that could come from stirring up old wounds.
But I never expected him to say he wanted to meet Yuseong-hyung, as if he had completely forgotten about his death. Sensing that something was terribly wrong, I grabbed his arm and finally voiced the reality I’d been unable to say for years.
“Yuseong-hyung passed away a few years ago, in an accident!”
Hearing that, my hyung’s expression turned into a look that embodied the word
despair
.
He stared into the air for a long time, looking as if he had been struck by a devastating shock. Watching his dazed expression filled me with anxiety, so I desperately shook his shoulders, calling his name with a choked voice. Only then did he seem to come to his senses, stumbling over his words as he began to speak.
“…That’s right. Yuseong is dead. How could I…….”
Since he didn’t react with something like, “
What are you talking about?
” or “
There’s no way Yuseong is dead
”, and instead said that after a delay, it seemed he hadn’t completely forgotten.
‘Delusion? Amnesia? Or did he hit his head badly during the accident earlier?’
A million possibilities flashed in and out of my head.
No matter how much I thought about it, something felt seriously off. But I was so disoriented that I faked my composure with an exaggerated attitude, trying to brush this off as nothing more than a simple misunderstanding.
“Hyung, you must be really exhausted from the accident. Of all things, how could you forget that?”
I had to stay as composed as possible and act like nothing was wrong.
As I made that resolve and hid my trembling hands by lowering them, my hyung spoke.
“…Where’s Cha Woon?”
“He said he had a headache, so he went to another room to sleep. You know how mentally weak that hyung is. I think everything that’s happened has caused him to have a total breakdown.”
“Is that so? Then, could you buy some medicine for his stomach so Woon can take it when he wakes up?”
The moment I heard those words, the emotion I felt was relief.
What a relief. If I stepped outside for a moment to catch my breath, I wouldn’t have to risk showing my hyung, who was already in a fragile state, just how shaken I was. With that thought, I immediately got up from my seat.
“Okay, I’ll be right back, hyung.”
***
‘What kind of expression was Hyung making?’
Just steps from the studio, I was preoccupied with thoughts of my hyung when a black car screeched to a halt in front of me. A striking man, dressed in an expensive suit, stepped out and strode toward me without hesitation.
‘…Lee Saehwa.’
I scowled as soon as I spotted his face, which was too youthful for his age. I made no effort to hide my displeasure. I had never liked this man; he was always meddling in everything, acting like he was Yutae-hyung’s guardian.
I was about to spit out some sharp words like, “
What business do you have here?
“. But before I could open my mouth, the other man’s voice interrupted me.
“Yutae?”
Skipping the usual pleasantries, the first thing he blurted out was, as expected, about Yutae-hyung. Come to think of it, this man, who was usually so laid-back, seemed incredibly tense. Although I was confused by the sharp tone that had taken the place of his usual gentle speech, I replied curtly.
“He’s resting. You heard on the phone, there’s no way he’d be in good condition right now.”
“…You didn’t say anything unnecessary, did you?”
Anything unnecessary?
His vague wording made it impossible to be sure what exactly he was referring to, but I flinched unconsciously and recalled the situation earlier and the words I had spoken.
“Yuseong-hyung passed away a few years ago, in an accident!”
‘No, that couldn’t be it. Hyung was just a little shocked at first, but he pulled himself together quickly.’
My brother regained his composure immediately, as if his memories had returned upon hearing what I said. Besides, he had carried on just fine for a long time even after Seo Yuseong’s death. There was no way that simply bringing up something he already knew and had overcome would cause any problems. With that rationalization, I shook my head and continued.
“Other than the accident, nothing happened. He’ll come back on his own when the time is right.”
Without acknowledging my reply, he immediately brushed past me and went into the studio.
Before I could say, “
What the hell are you doing?
” at his unauthorized intrusion, he was frantically checking from room to room, and then turned back to snap at me again.
“Where is Seo Yutae!”
Where else would he be? He’s probably sleeping in the biggest room you just checked.
But why was Lee Saehwa talking as if my hyung wasn’t there?
Lee Saehwa’s reaction instantly filled me with anxiety, and I rushed into the studio to check the room.
“…….”
Before me was an empty room, completely devoid of any trace of human warmth. I stood there, staring blankly at the unbelievable sight, and muttered to myself.
“…He was here just a moment ago.”
At that, Lee Saehwa clenched his teeth and began calling out my hyung’s name repeatedly as he opened every remaining room in the studio. Meanwhile, I searched through the bed where my hyung had been and noticed that his phone and wallet were missing.
As soon as I realized this, I pulled out my phone and called my hyung.
“The phone is turned off. You will be connected to voicemail…….”
But the call didn’t go through, and all I heard was a recorded message.
My heart started beating faster and faster, and my hands and feet started to feel numb.
“You, did you talk about Seo Yuseong?”
After searching every room and still not finding my hyung, Lee Saehwa came back to me. He grabbed me by the collar, and asked me in a threatening tone. Not understanding the situation, I simply nodded, and his face turned deathly pale. Lee Saehwa spat out some harsh words, and then returned to his car and started the engine.
I watched him go in a daze, then turned back to look around the studio
That was when the reality of the situation finally hit me.
“…Hyung?”
My hyung had disappeared.
[END OF YOO JAY’S POV]
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Translator’s Corner:
This was very late … because I just had finished surviving from an 8 hours power outage asdfghjkl omg they won’t pull this kind of behavior in city, but in village … they literally dgaf and expect you to just accept it ….. (and then i was getting distracted for the whole two hours by fighting stupid kpop stans on twitter)
and since i had nothing better to do, i was examining my laptop and found out that the battery can just be taken out easily. i don’t need to go to the overpriced service center just to change the battery, i just need to buy the battery … but the question is, where can i buy it asdfghjkl there’s a lot of online shop selling, but i have trust issue with this kind of matter ….. why laptop company doesn’t have an official shop where they sell just spare parts anyway ….. this capitalism world ……
Anyway, few chapters back I read a comment saying Prism practically already attended 100 funerals XD I really held myself back from replying, “200 actually….”
From this point on, it’s kind of a new arc. And it’s very long. I recommend you make a playlist of comforting songs…..
Thank you sayu for the Lighstick!