I looked back at Lee Danbi, questioning my ears.
“I’ve been holding back to stay on Seungbeom-hyung’s good side, but why do you keep crossing the line? I’m only telling you this because when I look at you, I see no hope. Stop going around messing with people’s emotions, please. It’s really starting to bother me.”
Compared to Cha Woon, Lee Danbi’s verbal attacks looked laughable.
I certainly remembered thinking like this before.
“Even if you completely screwed up this program, you will still be living a lavish life. But for someone like me, I will be doomed to a pathetic life if I don’t debut this time, so I’m more desperate and scared. Maybe if you stop doubting me for once, you will find me trustworthy? There’s a limit to how much disrespect you can show. You’re treating me like a complete idiot.”
I took it back.
He was just giving that Hayato-whatever guy a pass because he’s Japanese.
But I didn’t understand why he wasn’t giving Nicholas Hwayoung Lee, who’s British, a pass too.
Lee Hwayoung opened his eyes wide like a surprised cat at the words that poured out like a machine gun and looked at me.
Why, why are you looking at me like that?
“What is
idiot
?”
1
“…….”
…..No matter how much I thought about it, I believed this guy should be given a pass too.
Our young master is smart and speaks Korean well, but it seems he doesn’t know any bad words at all.
I made Lee Hwayoung, who looked like he was having a Korean language breakdown for the first time in his life, step back. This wasn’t a training ground for trash-talking fighters, so I had to put a stop to it here.
“Alright, calm down. Let’s try to solve the situation calmly. We don’t have time for this.”
Lee Danbi, who couldn’t contain his menacing aura with veins bulging in his neck, calmed his anger a little at the words ‘
don’t have time
‘. He realized that while the Lees were fighting mindlessly, the other team had already finished assigning positions in the next practice room were having a great time.
Lee Hwayoung didn’t seem to fully understand the meaning of what Lee Danbi had said. Still, he knew he was being insulted, so he glared at Lee Danbi with a fierce gaze.
“First of all, I get where both of you are coming from. Your points are both valid. I’m sure the viewers’ reactions will be divided as well. So, no matter how much you argue, this is a problem that doesn’t have a definitive answer.”
“…….”
“…….”
Lee Hwayoung and Lee Danbi just stood there, listening to me. When I noted that they didn’t argue back or start another fight, I put my hands on their shoulders and continued.
“But we have to produce results no matter what, so we have to choose one thing. And as a leader, I want you to give me the authority to decide what to choose, and I want you to follow my decision without complaint. Do you understand?”
“Yes.”
“Okay.”
I explained carefully, and they both gave short affirmative responses. From their point of view, it would be much easier to just have a third party make the decision for them.
After getting the permission of the two, immediately turned my attention to the other members. They were huddled together, hands clutched to their chests, their bodies stiff with shock from the heated exchange between Lee Danbi and Lee Hwayoung.
“Is that okay with you guys?”
“Yes!”
“Of course!”
When I asked for their permission again, they nodded eagerly in response. Their movements were filled with a silent plea to end the situation as soon as possible.
After getting everyone’s consent, I spoke to Lee Hwayoung and Lee Danbi.
“We’re keeping the rap part. The arrangement will go in a direction that preserves the original feel as much as possible.”
That one remark caused a divide of joy and sorrow. A flush of color appeared on Lee Danbi’s face in an instant, while a look of displeasure appeared on Lee Hwayoung’s face.
There was a reason for this decision.
’14th place. It’s a bit of an ambiguous number to make it into the debut group.’
If the current situation continued, just as Lee Hwayoung said, Lee Danbi would never make it into the debut lineup. Lee Danbi was able to survive until the later half of the show thanks to his bold personality and hardworking attitude. But that was as far as it would go.
There was a limit to how high he could climb without showing something groundbreaking on stage. In order to overcome that limit with other elements, he had to appeal to the public by helping other trainees or become a scene-stealer in each episode to increase his public recognition.
‘However, those roles had already been fixed on me and Do Yuda, and it doesn’t suit his situation or personality to begin with.’
In the end, the only way for Lee Danbi to break free from his current stagnation was to show that he was trying something different on stage. It’s true that he was already working extraordinary hard right now, but hard work alone wasn’t enough.
“This is a promise. You need to go beyond doing your best and deliver a definite result.”
“…….”
And that’s something Lee Danbi himself would have known all too well.
He can’t go on like this
.
“If Lee Danbi fails to keep his promise, and the performance goes wrong…..”
I placed my bet on that desperation.
“I’ll take responsibility.”
“Han Seungbeom!”
“Instead, the deadline is until the trainer’s mid-term evaluation day. If you can’t deliver proper results until then, the members naturally won’t be able to trust you. You understand what I mean, right?”
Lee Hwayoung grabbed my arm hard, his face twisted as if he couldn’t understand me at all. Lee Danbi just stared up at me in a dazed state.
I patted Lee Danbi’s head and turned to the members.
“If anything goes wrong with the performance, blame me all you want. No, being blamed alone isn’t enough to take responsibility. I’ll fix it, no matter what it takes. Even if I have to stay up all night and vomit blood, I’ll make sure to set everything right.”
I wanted to help children like Lee Danbi, who lived so desperately and worked so hard. I could roughly guess what kind of life a child who lived so fiercely at such a young age had lived. Even if they weren’t someone I had specifically chosen, my desire to do so remained unchanged.
“So, Danbi, give it your all and prepare hard. Show me how far you can go.”
However, the decision I made just now wasn’t made solely out of concern for Lee Danbi. I couldn’t let my personal feelings put the other members at risk. The reason I chose to side with Lee Danbi was purely a decision made after calmly analyzing the situation.
‘If the rap part is completely rearranged into singing part, just as Lee Hwayoung suggested, it would be like killing all the good points of the original song.’
What the public wanted was not a complete novelty. It meant that, at least to a certain extent, we should give the audience what they expected to see.
I’d rather take a gamble than settle for something less.
That was my personality.
“I’m sorry, I have to go to the bathroom. Please go ahead and decide on the other positions.”
Lee Danbi, who had been silently listening to my words, quickly left the practice room with his head bowed. Lee Hwayoung clicked his tongue as he watched his back.
“I still can’t understand why he’s suddenly so angry.”
“That’s because you kept saying mean things about he’s going to get eliminated. Trainees are naturally sensitive to those sorts of comments.”
“I never said he would get eliminated.”
‘Hmm?’
For a moment, I wondered if I had misheard Lee Hwayoung’s nonchalant remark. So, I went back over what Lee Hwayoung had said to confirm.
“You said that when the program ends, all that will be left is time.”
“Whether you debut or get eliminated, once the program ends, you’ll have free time. You won’t be under the pressure of the competition like you are now.”
“Ah.”
‘That’s what you meant.’
I recalled Lee Danbi, whose anger had risen to the top of his head, and let out a chuckle. It wasn’t entirely Lee Danbi’s fault, since I naturally thought the same way.
I guess I had some prejudice against Lee Hwayoung’s usual words and actions.
“Then you should say it properly. He misunderstood.”
“I said it properly. Practice it when you have some free time.”
“You, make sure to clarify that in front of him later. He’s 100% misunderstanding.”
“I don’t want to. I’m annoyed.”
….What should I do with this helpless young master?
***
After finalizing all the positions, we once again gathered in front of the practice room as instructed by the production team. Looking at the location, I could roughly guess what they were planning to film.
“From now on, we will be distributing personal phones to each of you. When it’s your turn, enter the booth and freely contact the person you wanted to contact.”
‘As expected.’
Since this was just before the final live broadcast, it was the right time to film the emotional scene of trainees crying while receiving encouragement from their family. And during the final live broadcast, there would be video messages from family to make the viewers cry again. It was a typical pattern.
I tried to maintain my composure while watching the children, who had entered and exited the soundproof booths in turn, burst into tears as they were overwhelmed with longing.
‘….I don’t have anyone to call.’
I couldn’t think of anyone to call.
I already realized that calling Han Seungbeom’s family was out of the question, as his relationship with them had already fallen apart. On the other hand, calling Han Seungbeom’s friends was not an option either, as I had no idea how he usually treated them.
‘Is Han Seungbeom’s aunt the safest?’
The easiest option was looming before my eyes, but Han Seungbeom’s aunt was, for various reasons, an uncomfortable presence, and I wanted to avoid her if possible.
Soon, the trainee ahead of me came out of the booth, and it was my turn. I swallowed dry saliva, steeled my resolve, and pressed a number.
‘Pick up. Pick up. Pick up. Pick up.’
The connecting sound continued for a short while, then it was cut off. Then, the voice on the other end came through.
“Hello?”
“Hello, Trainer Jay-nim! I’m Trainee Han Seungbeom from Survive IDOL!”
‘Indeed, someone familiar is the best.’
Before Jay could call me ‘
hyung
‘, I quickly greeted him first. Then, after a two-second pause, that guy casually replied.
“Trainee Han Seungbeom! Are you doing well with the filming? Thank you for contacting me first.”
‘His unnecessary quick wits come in handy in times like this.’
“Yes, of course. The production team told us to contact whoever we wanted to. I thought of Trainer Jay, so I contacted you. You helped me a lot when we were preparing for the collaboration stage.”
I smiled brightly so that the camera installed in the booth could capture it.
I figured that since the others were contacting their beloved families, and I couldn’t, I should at least get the image of being polite to my senior.
“Aha, I see. I had a lot of fun back then too. Let’s do another collaboration stage again next time!”
“Oh, really? It’s an honor. Haha.”
I gritted my teeth at Jay’s obvious attempt to sabotage me on air and forced out a mechanical reaction.
‘Don’t say anything that’s going to cause drama when it’s being aired. I don’t want to get cursed at for no reason.’
“Ahahahaha!”
Jay’s cheerful laughter came out through the speakerphone. As soon as I heard it, I knew that this guy had said those words on purpose. I plastered a bright smile on my face and immediately turned off the speakerphone.
‘Ugh.’
“Ah, now that I think of it, did you get the message? That story.”
Just as I was mentally cursing him out, Jay, who had sensed with uncanny accuracy that I had turned off the speakerphone, abruptly asked me in an informal tone. I tilted my head and asked back.
“…What kind of story?”
“Ah-ha, I guess you didn’t get it. Pfft, fighting!”
Thud.
He laughed as he pleased and hung up the phone as he pleased. I turned my body away from the camera, holding the phone to my ear as it continued to ring. I tried to remain calm, but my hand holding the phone trembled uncontrollably.
“…Ah, yes! Please go ahead. Thank you!”
Since there was a camera, I had no choice but to pretend to hang up the phone while waving at the air. When I leaned down, I made eye contact with Do Yuda, who was talking with Baek Kiryang outside through the transparent window.
“Kiryang-hyung! It’s okay if you don’t call your family … why, why is your expression like that!”
Do Yuda screamed in horror when he saw my face.
‘This XX XX, I’m going to kill you……..’
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Translator’s Corner:
The word Danbi used is 등신, Korean slang for well … idiot. Nicholas only know good Koreans so he doesn’t understand whatever Danbi saying because Danbi was using a lot of bad words and slang. ↩︎