The preparations were finished very quickly. Naturally, we didn't set out that same day, but a couple of days later, which was still fast. I could hardly believe I'd managed to convince Qianhui.
The clever little "milf," of course, wasn't that simple, and every action she took was dictated not by my wishes, but by deep analysis of the data. The sect came first for her, though this beauty was definitely no longer indifferent to me either. Things were moving forward—slowly, maybe, but surely.
We did have to stop in a major city of the empire for two days so I could stock up on supplies. The ladies, naturally, were hardcore cultivators who feared no hardship—they must've been shown Snyder movies instead of cartoons as children, that's how tough they were.
I wasn't like that.
Long live the inventory... Pfft! I meant spatial rings, not inventory. We're in xianxia, not an RPG. Doesn't change the point: you can store food, and hot soup stays hot.
Sure, we could've done what typical "canonical" cultivators do: roast predator meat in front of the ladies, and of course it would turn out tastier than food from the finest restaurants. It's a cliché—what could possibly go wrong?
Then I remembered. I couldn't cook anything more complicated than fried eggs. Not that I couldn't roast meat, but... why the fuck would I?
Why live at all if you deny yourself every little comfort? To show everyone how harsh and badass I am? Stupid logic. I don't like people like that. I can give up comfort when necessary, but that only makes me appreciate it more.
The predictable result? The ladies played hard to get for propriety's sake at first, then ate everything and even asked for seconds. The Chu sisters behaved like statues: the older one looked at me with a mixed expression, while the younger one didn't give a damn at all. Xia Qingyue hadn't had time to absorb all that arrogance yet, so she behaved relatively normally. Even cutely.
While we flew toward the Wasteland of Death on the sect's riding birds, I managed to cleanse her profound veins of cold energy. The poor girl blushed so cutely while I held her hand. Adorable. You'd never guess she could grow into a hypocritical bitch. But that wasn't going to happen. This child would not become Trash's victim. No one from my sect would.
Yuechan had been warned about the ice poison, so she wouldn't do anything stupid. And she was far too strong anyway.
I'd found the inheritance site itself last time—it wasn't difficult. But I was still worried about the flood dragons, so I decided to take matters into my own hands. I asked them to drop me off two kilometers before their lair.
At the same time, I needed to test my latest creation. So the moment I hit the ground, I immediately started stretching. They looked at me like I was insane, but you know what? Smartasses like that are the ones who later wonder why some Trash "fucked" them while they were lying there paralyzed. Everyone understood who I was hinting at, right?
Then I calmly prepared my body and ran. The Falling Star Technique still hadn't gotten rid of its flaw, but if there's a sufficiently thick "post" ahead of you—and a flood dragon definitely qualifies—you can do something else.
I'd learned to play with inertia using profound energy a long time ago, back in the Elementary Profound Realm. But now I could do something much cooler: at the end of the run, after building up a respectable speed, I transferred all of my momentum into the blade of my katana.
The poor "hose" didn't even realize that part of its head was no longer attached to its body. Its partner came to its senses quickly and even tried to pounce on me, but it was surrounded by hundreds of lotuses that tore the creature apart very quickly.
"Falling Star Blade"—that's what I called the move. Maybe a little generic, but tasteful.
The drawback? You need a run-up. A serious run-up. It's a killing technique, not a fighting technique. You can't pull this thing off in the middle of a clash.
Most importantly, I completely canceled my momentum, so I wasn't forced to "plow" another trench with my face.
You should've seen the ladies' faces when I, despite being only in the Nascent Profound Realm, killed that enormous creature. All three were stunned. No Ice Heart could save them. Fortunately, the Chu sisters didn't freeze for long and immediately attacked the other pair, or things would've gotten rough for me.
Chu Yuechan looked at the flood-dragon corpses with a mixed expression. She knew the future that would now never happen to her, so now, under the pressure of suppressed feelings, she wasn't even sure how to react. You have to understand: living through something yourself is nothing like simply being told about it.
When Qianhui told her that story, she'd probably thought, "I'd rather die than have my body defiled by some trash." So deep beneath the "ice" of the technique, gratitude toward me was definitely smoldering in her heart. And it showed best right now: she'd seen the flood dragons with her own eyes—proof, weak though it was, that my story had been true.
There was no point dragging things out, and Yueli wasn't the type to spend a long time instructing a disciple or showing care in any other way.
"Come on, little Yue." The girl blushed again when I called her that and obediently followed me.
The Chu sisters stayed at the cave entrance so some trash wouldn't interfere. The moment we'd taken a few steps into the darkness, the world dimmed, and enormous azure eyes opened before us.
"Greetings, Dragon God. I'm here to take your trial and receive your complete inheritance."
"Mortal, do you know how many people have managed to pass my trial? Let alone receive my complete inheritance."
"I suspect not a single one. Excellent. Then I'll be the first. My friend will be with me. A couple drops of your blood wouldn't hurt her either."
"As you wish."
Short conversation. Apparently the lizard had decided not to waste time on us. Obviously, we were going to die very soon. Why waste air? We weren't chosen messengers of the Heavens, so why bother being courteous to us? No, just mortals who would soon have nothing left of them.
Looking around, I realized Xia Qingyue was trembling. Well, yes—the dragon had been pressing down on our souls this whole time. And no, I'm no better than Tarantino when it comes to dialogue—I felt it too, but... it wasn't pain, it was discomfort. And I was used to ignoring that sort of thing.
Apparently that played a role too, and they decided to delete me from existence as quickly as possible, since I was a dangerous and incomprehensible element.
So the first trial began. We found ourselves on a plain that felt like it was at an enormous altitude: the clouds were very close. Not a blade of grass grew on the ground. A scorched wasteland. Then a portal opened in front of us, and a pair of stone half-men, half-dragons carrying spears stepped out. Level: sixth level of the Nascent Profound Realm, same as Qingyue.
They came out and were finished almost immediately. I used a dash, and one sweep of my katana finished both of them.
"Little Yue, save your strength for now. You'll need it to cover my back."
The girl had been instructed to obey me in everything, so she simply nodded and stood behind me. A few seconds later, the portal opened again. Speed is awesome: the sweep of my katana was faster, and the poor statues managed only a single step outside. Though this kind of luck wouldn't last forever.
Anyone familiar with canon knows the pattern. After four came eight, then sixteen. On the fourth wave, the statues appeared from two portals, one of them behind us. But my speed was enough. There were archers, of course, who could hurt the girl, but she turned out to be fairly quick and easily dodged a couple of arrows.
After that it got harder: I couldn't kill everyone before they reached Yue, so I had to push harder. This time the girl had to use Ice Lotuses—she not only defended herself, but managed to knock out a couple of statues too.
"What a strong little Yue. Good girl," I praised her and patted her on the head, making her blush furiously again. Kawaii!
After that there was no time for distractions. I had to strain my body and move at maximum output. The third stage of the Great Way of the Buddha left the enemies no chance, but... the girl got tired. So I used Trash Che's "life hack": I didn't finish off the final statue, but cut off its limbs and sat on it.
"Little Yue, rest. Recover your energy, then we'll continue. You're doing great."
The rest is boring to describe. It's not that the trial was easy—the girl beside me would've died long ago if she'd been taking it alone. Like I said, the issue was my body. The dragon hadn't set proper conditions for the fragment of its soul, which was only a neural network, not even a full AI. They simply hadn't considered that someone might use a strong body instead of profound energy to pass the trial. Or maybe this "bug" had been deliberately built in so Trash Che could pass without problems.
So everything went according to canon, and then the circus began. The tenth wave arrived—1,024 warriors, then the eleventh—2,048. The girl stopped attacking and simply dodged while I cleared out the enemy ranks. That was where the difficulty lay.
After the 4,096-statue mark, the lizard apparently ran out of tricks, and a general came out to meet us. Spirit Profound Realm. Heavy sword, the one that was supposed to go to Trash Che. Spoiler: it won't. I won't allow it. I'll take it myself.
And later, if he behaves himself, I can think about gifting him that "door." Only an anime pervert could call that thing a sword. Otherwise, it's a door. Height, width... you get it.
The general was the lizard's trump card. The stone bastard's body was definitely tougher than an Emperor Profound beast's. In other words, the blue freak had done everything it could.
Fortunately, I was expecting a setup. Experience with the Phoenix had taught me something, so I ran backward in advance—about three hundred meters. Not much, but enough for a run-up. Then—Falling Star Blade.
The move misfired the first time: as if on instinct, the statue managed to put up its "door." That wasn't just his profound energy—it was also a Sky-grade sword. I had no chance of breaking through. But the arms holding it weren't nearly as tough, and they cracked.
"Yue, attack continuously with lotuses!" I shouted before retreating for another run-up.
He endured the second strike and drew conclusions, attacking the girl. But that was exactly what I was waiting for. The moment he raised the monstrosity over his head, I appeared in front of him and punched him in the torso. I didn't punch straight through—the stone bastard was unbelievably tough—but I managed to throw him far away and weaken the overall structure a little. Cracks appeared.
After that, it kept repeating. Under my momentum-powered strikes, his arms gradually broke down. If he attacked, I was faster and smashed his torso.
Eventually, the arms couldn't take it anymore. The enormous sword crashed to the ground, and I cut off his legs so Qingyue and I could rest.
The second trial waited ahead.