Yu Haiqiao was as shameless as always. The next day, he insisted on following me out the door and had even rolled up his sleeves, helping me pick out a red lipstick by my vanity table while I was doing my makeup.
After a long time, he finally decided on a color and even recommended it to me in a tone that sounded as if he had come out of the closet, “This color suits you very well, the color contrasts against your skin and even matches your outfit. If you put it on, you’re going to look amaaaazing. A glance from you will kill everyone.”
My hands stopped upon hearing this and I silently looked at him for two seconds, “Are you itching to put makeup on? Are you really straight?”
Yu Haiqiao blinked and soon flashed me a disgustingly shy look, “Shouldn’t you know by now whether I’m straight or not?”
“….” I looked at him with disdain for a while before shooting him a look of realization, “I see. No wonder you…” aren’t good at that.
Before I could even say the latter half of my words, Yu Haiqiao predictably called on me to stop, “Stop!”
I harrumphed and seriously declared to him, ‘From now, don’t run your mouth off in front of me. Otherwise, whenever you say something, I’ll just say that you’re…” sexually inept.
Before the main words could even be uttered, Yu Haiqiao once again interrupted me, “Shut up!” He then glared and rose to his feet, “If I hear this story spread out from you, you’re dead, Shi Ran. Your next life will be over, you’re doomed!” He gave me a series of warnings then stormed out of the room in a huff.
When he finally left the room, I looked at myself in the mirror and silently raised a victory hand sign on the inside. I then happily continued doing my eye makeup and the colors I used were usually not the ones I typically wore.
I finally knew why Yu Haiqiao had such a poisonous mouth. When one’s mouth was poisonous, they would frequently win against others in a war of words and this win would bring great joy to them. Thanks to Yu Haiqiao for teaching me this great reason. From now on, I will be learning more from him and putting in more effort. I will strive to become the student who surpasses her master, and swat Yu Haiqiao down on the sand, allowing our married life to reach new heights.
After I finished dressing myself up, I went out and saw Yu Haiqiao sitting on the sofa, fiddling with his computer. I wondered whether he had something to deal with for work as he looked much more serious than usual. To tell the truth, Yu Haiqiao only had two good points. The first was that he was tall enough to be considered attractive and the second was that he didn’t look bad at all.
When he was in university, girls would secretly take pictures of him and I had personally witnessed this myself.
At that time, I headed to his university to ask him if he wanted to hangout. On our way, I noticed someone taking pictures. After a long scrutinization, I realized that the angle they were holding their phone at, didn’t look like one for taking selfies. At that time, I thought they had been taking pictures of me. Wanting to know what was going on with their school, I poked Yu Haiqiao and asked, “Do you think that person’s secretly taking pictures of me?”
Yu Haiqiao turned to cast a glance at the girl who was sneaking photos and narrowed his eyes. After looking for a while, the girl silently placed her phone back into her own pocket and turned back to look at him. He then asked me with a baffled tone, “What do you have that’s worth taking sneaky photos of?”
He casually swept a glance at the leaving girl’s figure and said, “Who knows? She just might have been taking pictures of me.” After he said this, he then ran towards the girl.
I didn’t know what he talked about with the girl. By the time I reached them, the girl had already taken out her phone and deleted the photos, even apologizing. Yu Haiqiao then put on a gentle look and told her, “Don’t do it next time.”
“….” I silently stood at the side and rolled my eyes.
When the girl left, Yu Haiqiao gave me a look, “You, Shi Ran. Even as a background, you’ve already painted a very blurry color.”
Anger immediately rushed into my head, “You idiot. Is that anything to brag about!!”
He pursed his lips and shot me a small smile, saying extremely complacently, “No matter what, it proves that I’m handsome enough to enter someone else’s lens. Oh, that’s right. A while ago, she said that one of her roommates had a crush on me so she wanted to take a picture to ask which department I’m from. She even asked me for my contact number and promised to never do something like this again.”
I looked at him with disgust and solemnly shook my head, sighing, “Your school is finished. All the girls are blind.”
Yu Haiqiao harrumphed and decisively concluded for me, “You’re jealous.”
I harrumphed even louder, “What do I have to be jealous of? I, a beautiful young girl who’s about to start dating in the near future, am jealous of a single man like you?”
Yu Haiqiao looked at me and tsked twice. He then said in an extremely haughty tone, “Who else would fancy you other than that music student who’s shorter than you and whose aesthetics in music is beyond saving that I can’t look at the neighboring art school?”
I was 172cm tall and didn’t know if I had continued to grow in the past 2 years. This height was considered very tall for a woman and in senior high, half of the guys never came close to being as tall as I was. The other half were about as tall as I am. I felt that the reason why I lost the opportunity to fall in love early was because of my height.
Yu Haiqiao would always bash my potential suitors like this. One time, I was on a blind date. After we finished our meal, Yu Haiqiao was coincidentally nearby with a friend. I was thinking about how to leave my date at the restaurant without seeming rude so I casually asked where Yu Haiqiao was. My date replied that he was coincidentally less than 10 minutes of distance away and I immediately sent him my address. This b!tch asked me knowingly if he needed to take me home and I coldly replied “You can.” After a few minutes, he called me and I awkwardly bade my date goodbye. After leaving the restaurant, I spotted the b!tch in his car outside the entrance waiting for me. After sitting inside, he specially measured what I wore and sneered, “What’s going on, Shi Ran? Can’t find a guy who’s taller than you?”
“…..” At that time, I also wanted to but I couldn’t ask the other party’s height, weight and character. However, I couldn’t say that to Yu Haiqiao. I couldn’t let Yu Haiqiao say whatever he wanted regarding my life. In any case, if I couldn’t do as I wished, I wouldn’t let him do even more. I twisted my hair and told him sorrowfully, “I can’t help it. I like men who are about my height. After all, if we kiss, I won’t need to tiptoe or raise my head. If they’re shorter than me, I can even lower my head and kiss them.”
In the end, when he drove to the door, he didn’t pay me much attention at all. When I finally bade him farewell and got out of the car, he even specially rolled down the windows and stuck his head, sighing at me, “Shi Ran. We’ve known each other for so many years. Why can’t you improve your sense of aesthetics? I really don’t want to have a friend with weird tastes like you.”
I raised my brows, wanting to tell him that each person had their own aesthetics and preferences. This b!tch didn’t even wait for me to retort and simply pulled up his windows. And the car slowly drove away, leaving me behind to inhale a mouthful of car fumes.
I immediately took out my phone and gave him a call and he answered it with a slow “Hello?”
I cursed, “Stinky idiot.”
Then, I hung up the call.
I earnestly said that I was a little sweet with Yu Haiqiao before our marriage and that I couldn’t even scold him proficiently. After our marriage, I complained to Yu Haiqiao that it was this tomb that changed me, turning me from Immortal Zixia into Sun Erniang[1] who sold human meat buns at the Edge of the Water from the story “Journey to the West”.
After I finished, Yu Haiqiao was completely stunned for a whole 10 seconds.
That’s right. At that time, I had even timed it using my watch.
After he had processed his shock, he then looked at me as if my IQ had taken a hit, “Shi Ran, you have such a deep misunderstanding of yourself.”
Then he said, “Have a little bit of shame.”
**
I don’t know why a shameless person had the nerve to ask someone to have face. Doesn’t he know how shameless he’s being!
[1] Immortal Zixia and Sun Erniang are characters in the story Journey to the West, a famous Chinese classical literature.