When a wife is in the middle of giving their husbands the cold shoulder, they shouldn’t do any housework. Putting the bowls and chopsticks into the dishwasher after eating, also shouldn’t be done. Once I tidied up my stuff and left the bowl and chopsticks on the table, preparing to leave, Yu Haiqiao’s convenient forgetfulness immediately acted up. He languidly laid on the chair and started to talk about his work with me, “The company website changed systems but the medical representatives below don’t even know how to f*cking use it, so these days, the colleagues responsible for running and maintaining the desktop app, have been getting scolded by the lower medical representative every day.”
“….” I silently cast a glance at him before turning around and walking towards the sofa, very experienced with giving him this treatment.
As expected, Yu Haiqaio immediately said the next second, “Shi Ran, are you really f*cking doing this bit again, did I provoke you?”
Heh. I’m surprised he could actually ask such a thing. This b!tch was clearly provoking me all the time alright.
I walked to the sofa and slowly sprawled on top of it, not paying the slightest attention to his words.
He stood up from his chair and walked towards me, saying, “I would like to file a formal complaint to the relevant authorities regarding your frequent use of domestic violence against me.”
I harrumphed.
He walked to the sofa and swatted my leg, “Put your legs away, do you think you look proper right now?”
I raised a foot and kicked his bum, using actions to let him know that I wanted him to get lost.
This drama queen Yu Haiqiao stood beside the sofa and turned solemn for a second, looking at me with a gaze as if he was going to report me, “Not only did you commit domestic violence against me, you even physically abused me. Shi Ran, be prepared to receive punishment by law.”
I rolled my eyes at him and he pushed my legs away, sitting in the area where my legs initially were. My curled legs soon rested on top of his thighs and Yu Haiqiao narrowed his eyes, looking at me for a good while.
It made me suspect whether my legs were really placed atop of his thighs or were resting on top of some unmentionable organ that I calmly locked eyes with him for a while.
Yu Haiqiaio immediately asked with feigned submission, “Fine, how much money do you want to use this time?”
His haughty tone seemed to be saying, “The weather’s gotten cold, it’s time to let the Wang Corporation go bankrupt.” [1]
I couldn’t help but show a disdainful expression and raised a leg to kick him. Yu Haiqiao’s face was green at first before soon turning red, yelling “Where do you think you’re trying to kick, Shi ran. Do you no longer want to have a s*x life?!”
“….” This b!tch Yu Haiqiao successfully managed to extinguish the tiniest iota of guilt I had for accidentally kicking him in his most sacred area, and I retorted back reflexively, “I’d rather use a d*ldo than have s*x with you.”
Yu Haiqiao looked incredulously at me as if he had received the biggest insult in the 30 years he has lived so far.
That’s right. The annoying things about Yu Haiqiao included but weren’t limited to that. The beginning of our s*xual life already made me think that we could put an end to our short-lived marital relationship.
The reason why we had impulsively decided to get our marriage certificate printed from the Bureau of Civil Affairs also stemmed from a meaningless promise in our second year of school.
When I was 15 or 16, I had made an odd impulsive promise with Yu Haiqiao–”If by the time you’ve turned 27 years old, you still haven’t gotten married, let’s help each other out and get together.”
As a result, as though those words were a curse, the two of us did indeed remain single until we were 27.
I could still remember that during a period before I had even turned 27, Yu Haiqiao would look at me with a contemplative expression from time to time, his gaze was so intent that I had immediately booked him an eye appointment at the hospital.
Once he had returned from his appointment, he asked me how I was planning to spend my birthday and I immediately told him about the bag that I’d been eyeing, hoping that he would help me settle the payment.
However, I didn’t think that Yu Haiqiao would actually buy that bag and carry it to my house on the day of my birthday. At that time, my parents had paid a down payment for a 40 square meter single person apartment near the company and during spring recruitment, I was working overtime like mad everyday. When he knocked on my door, I had already finished washing up and was wearing my pajamas, preparing to go to sleep but after being disturbed by him, I rolled my eyes at him, until he threw my dream bag at me. At that moment, my brain stopped working and I immediately assumed that he had come to ask for help undoing something he had mucked up, because for the past 20 years, all the gifts he had given me for my birthday were things that immediately made me roll my eyes upon receiving them.
Take last year as an example, he had given me a gaming console but I had never held an ounce of interest towards gaming ever since I was small so I had never touched that gaming device. But this dog would often run to my home every couple of days to play on it. On the weekends, he would even play on it until it was one or two in the morning, curling into his blanket and sleeping on the sofa after he had finished. Upon waking up the next morning, he would complain about my sofa being too small.
This b!tch had wanted to give himself a gift by using the pretext of buying me one. Now that he had done his due diligence, he could now play his games and even consider it as having saved some money.
The older he grew, the scummier he got. During high school, he even sent me a college entrance exam mock book which I almost threw back at him when I saw it, but to be fair, I could’ve still gotten a use out of that book. After that, I had eventually posted every rubbish gift he sent me, online at the second-hand market to be sold and whenever someone asked me every time–”Can you cut down the price,” I would reply back—”Sure, how much would you take it for.”
As a result, when he sent me a normal and proper gift on the year I turned 27, I couldn’t help but wonder whether the ophthalmologist had discovered an incurable tumor in his eyes. I silently looked at him for a long time with a suspicious gaze before asking, “Do you want to borrow money from me?”
Yu Haiqiao changed his shoes at the entrance of my house before coming in, speaking with a tone of disdain, “How much do you earn in a month compared to me?”
I harrumped but since I had received a satisfactory gift on my birthday, I was temporarily too lazy to argue with him.
Yu Haiqiao turned around and looked pensive at me for a while before asking, “What happened with the guy your mom set you up with last time?”
I rolled my eyes, “That fool made me wait half an hour for him at the cafe.”
Yu Haiqiao actually let out a deranged laugh before walking to my fridge and taking out a bottle of juice. After unscrewing the lid, he asked me in great spirits, “And then?”
I snorted coldly, “And then, I naturally f*cking left.” I paused for a moment, revealing the small victory I gained from this incident, “I even called my mom and argued with her, asking why she was introducing such a piece of trash to me and told her not to do it anymore in the future!” I spread my hands happily in front of Yu Haiqiao, “So now, my mom has temporarily left me off the hook.”
Yu Haiqiao slowly nodded before suddenly turning to look at me with tender-hearted eyes, “My mom’s still urgently pushing me.”
“?” Disgusted by his gaze, I suddenly felt the new bag I was holding, turn a little too hot to hold.
Yu Haiqiao held the bottle of juice and slowly walked towards me, handing me the bottle before looking at me up and down for a while, “Do you still remember the promise we made when we were young?”
“I don’t.” Regardless of whether I remembered or not, in any case, it was bound to be nothing good so I immediately and solemnly made my position clear.
“If you don’t remember, let me remind you. You said that if we reached 27 and haven’t shacked up with anyone else, we should partner up.” Yu Haiqiao told me innocently, blinking his eyes.
I made a barfing gesture and replied, “Don’t make that expression, you look disgusting.”
Yu Haiqiao seemed to be unmoved and curved his eyes at me, smiling, “Shi Ran, we’re almost no different to biological siblings, you should help me.‘
Look at how disgusting this b!tch was. I, a good lady in her prime, was being asked to marry him and was even considered his biological sibling, “Why don’t you go marry your real f*cking siblings instead, Dog Yu!!!” I yelled with fury.
“This is a tactical marriage, a tactical marriage. Besides, you also don’t want to get married, you don’t even want kids either. Later on, if we ever meet the person we want to marry, we can always get divorced but for now, don’t you want to stop those oldies from prattling for a while?”
“….” I looked at this b!tch Yu Haiqiao with extreme vigilance, “Isn’t it quite troublesome to get divorced, there’s also the problem of assets and the like after marrying, you couldn’t possibly be eyeing mine, are you?”
[1] This line is quoted from a BL novel called ‘My Hot-Blooded Bodyguard” which I don’t think is translated. Basically, the meaning of this line is to show how cocky he’s being.