Zhao Shuhe sat on a stone block, lost in thought for a while, snapping the dry branch in her hand into several pieces.
Zhao Shulan came out of the kitchen carrying a bowl. Seeing her distracted expression, she asked, “Little Sister, why have you been spacing out all day? What were you dreaming about last night?”
Zhao Shulan was the eldest sister in the family, fifteen years older than Zhao Shuhe. Years ago, she had married into the neighboring commune. Her husband’s family was considered one of the best around here: her father-in-law was a brigade leader[1]A production brigade was a rural collective farming and administrative unit within a people’s commune; its leader was not a military commander. jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_3733449_1_1').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_3733449_1_1', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });, and her husband drove a tractor at the commune’s agricultural machinery station. Their household was comfortably off, and Zhao Shulan often came back to her parents’ home.
Only then did Zhao Shuhe belatedly notice how quiet the courtyard was. “Sis, why didn’t Xiaowei, Fangfang, and Leilei come back with you?”
Normally, whenever Eldest Sister came home, three mischievous little monkeys followed behind her, chasing the chickens, ducks, and dogs all over the yard.
Zhao Shulan set the bowl on the table, braced one hand against her lower back, and sat down. “Oh, Xiaowei went to play with his grandfather. That girl Fangfang is afraid of walking. As soon as she heard there was no bicycle or tractor and that she’d have to walk over the mountain herself, she refused to come no matter what I said! Leilei’s still little. If he started fussing on the road, I wouldn’t be able to carry him. Now that the little bridge has been repaired, it’s much closer to come back, so I figured nothing would happen and came by myself to have a look.”
Li Qiongxian came out of the kitchen carrying a basin of hot water. “Shulan, why do you keep holding your back? Did you strain it?”
Zhao Shulan announced proudly, “Mom, I’m pregnant again. This time it’s the fourth!”
Zhao Manzhu, who was squatting on the threshold and chewing a steamed bun, clicked his tongue several times. “Sis, you’re still having children? Aren’t three enough to keep you busy?”
Zhao Shulan shot him a look. “What, am I eating your family’s coarse grain by having children? Are you going to raise them for me?”
Zhao Manzhu immediately backed down. “Of course not. I was just asking.”
Li Qiongxian, however, was delighted for her eldest daughter. “The more children, the better! You’re only thirty-one this year, and you’re still strong and healthy! Your in-laws can afford to raise them, too. For families in the mountains, having more children is a blessing. Wherever you go in the future, no one will dare bully you.”
Zhao Shuhe listened from the side, her heart aching a little. If this had been five days ago, she would have thought her mother and eldest sister’s words were perfectly natural, too.
In these mountains, which woman’s life hadn’t gone this way? Betrothed at sixteen or seventeen, married at eighteen or nineteen, then having children one after another—washing clothes, cooking, feeding pigs, working in the fields, until her hair went white with age…
But after seeing those memories, she knew that a woman did not have to spend her entire life revolving around childbirth.
She couldn’t say that, though. In Xiaoshitou Village in this era, if she dared speak those words aloud, even her most loving parents would only think their daughter had been possessed by something evil and needed to be taught a lesson.
Zhao Shulan looked around the room again and asked, “Dad, Mom, where are Second Brother’s wife and Third Sister-in-law? Usually, they run faster than anyone else as soon as they smell food.”
Li Qiongxian gave a cold snort. “They took their children and went back to their parents’ homes for a few days.”
Zhao Shulan had been through it herself. Hearing the tone, she immediately understood. “They’ve been fighting again?”
“They fight every day. There isn’t a single day of peace!” Li Qiongxian cursed. “One complains there’s too much cooking and water-carrying to do, while the other complains that feeding the pigs and cleaning the pens is exhausting. One grumbles that the other’s child cries and makes a nuisance of itself, while the other suspects someone is taking advantage of the communal household.”
At that, Li Qiongxian looked at her youngest daughter with satisfaction. “Once your sister finishes junior high this June, I’m going to divide the household with your father! If we don’t split up soon, those two daughters-in-law will tear the roof off sooner or later.”
Zhao Manzhu immediately declared his loyalty. “Mom, I haven’t been fighting with Second Brother!”
“You haven’t fought!” Li Qiongxian spat irritably. “Your wife packed up and went back to her parents’ home. Who would you dare fight with?”
Zhao Manzhu had no answer. He withdrew his neck and fell silent.
Zhao Shoutian, who had been sitting at the corner of the table drinking gruel, set down his bowl. He was the accountant of Xiaoshitou Village’s brigade. Usually, his abacus clicked rapidly and he was slow-tempered and sparing with words, but when it came to every account in the village and the household, he understood things more clearly than anyone.
Hearing his wife mention dividing the household, Zhao Shoutian nodded. “Then let’s divide it. With so many people crowded around one pot, stirring the ladle, bumps and quarrels are unavoidable. While your mother and I can still move around, it’s better to divide things early and enjoy some peace.”
Zhao Shulan nodded emphatically. “It’s time. Second Brother and Third Brother’s children are all grown up. They can’t keep crowding around one pot for meals forever. Little Sister is graduating this year, too. It’s about time people started looking for a match for her, isn’t it?”
Zhao Shuhe knew that what was coming could not be avoided forever. In the village, as long as a girl turned sixteen, no matter how the adults circled around the subject, sooner or later the conversation always came back to marriage.
Seeing Zhao Shuhe lower her head without saying anything, Zhao Shulan teased her. “Little Sister, tell your sister honestly—what sort of place do you want to marry into? The neighboring brigade? The commune town? Or the county seat?”
Zhao Shuhe did not act coy in the slightest. “I want someone from the city.”
At that, Zhao Manzhu was the first to laugh. “Well, well! Our Little Sister certainly has high standards!”
Zhao Shuhe deliberately added, “I’m not looking for someone who farms.”
Zhao Manzhu stared at her in disbelief. “Then what about your Third Brother, a dirt-covered peasant like me? Was I rejected and thrown into the mud pit before the game even started?”
“You already have children, Third Brother. Why are you trying to join in?” Zhao Shuhe gave him a sidelong glance.
Zhao Manzhu was rendered speechless. Zhao Shulan slapped the table and laughed. “Not bad, Little Sister. That tongue of yours is getting sharper.”
Zhao Shuhe smiled on the surface, but she felt no lighter inside. She had said she wanted someone from the city, but she did not truly want to get married right away. She knew that if she directly said she did not want to marry, life at home would become impossible for her.
Sure enough, Zhao Shoutian agreed. “That’s right! A woman marries a man so she’ll have clothes to wear and food to eat. Our Little Sister is pretty, well-read, and quick-witted. In the future, she should marry into the city. Don’t let her marry some poor boy and suffer.”
Li Qiongxian saw that even her husband took it for granted and still tried to reason with him. “The city is certainly good. They get grain and cloth coupons every month, live in brick houses that keep out the wind, and if they fall ill, there’s a major hospital right outside the door. Who doesn’t want to squeeze into the city? It’s just that the threshold for getting in is too high, so finding someone isn’t easy.”
Zhao Shulan picked up the thread. “It’s not completely impossible. There are several workers’ families at the commune where my in-laws live, and they have young men in the family. Once Little Sister graduates, I’ll ask around.”
Zhao Shuhe knew she could not let the conversation continue in that direction. She quickly poured a cup of sugared water for Zhao Shulan. “Sis, drink something sweet. You’re carrying another child, after all. You spend all day worrying about me—be careful you don’t starve your nephew.”
Zhao Shulan laughed at her solemn expression. “Now you know how to be shy? I raised you. What haven’t I seen you do?”
Zhao Shuhe flushed slightly. “Sis!”
Everyone in the room burst out laughing. Zhao Shuhe laughed along with them, but once the laughter faded, her heart still felt heavy.
Her parents and brothers and sisters truly loved her. Of the family’s four children, she alone had been supported through junior high school. Such affection was genuinely rare in these mountains, where sons were valued over daughters. The best future they could imagine for her was simply to find a well-off family and marry her off in grand style.
That was not their fault. In the eyes of generations of farmers trapped in the mountains, this was the best fate a woman could possibly reach.
After breakfast, Zhao Shoutian tucked the account book into his coat, put on his old cotton cap, and prepared to leave. “I’m going to the brigade. I have to calculate the work points[2]Under collective farming, work points recorded a person’s agricultural labor and helped determine the household’s share of collective earnings or grain. jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_3733449_1_2').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_3733449_1_2', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], }); today, and this afternoon I still need to check the grain in the storehouse.”
Zhao Manzhu stood up as well. “Dad, I’ll go with you.”
Li Qiongxian called after him, “Split the firewood before you go.”
Zhao Manzhu turned to look at the stack of dry logs piled in the corner of the courtyard like a small mountain. His face fell. “Mom, am I really your biological son?”
“If you weren’t, I would have swept you out of the house long ago and left you to drink the northwest wind.”
Zhao Shulan teased, “Mom, you really never spare anyone with that mouth of yours.”
Li Qiongxian briskly gathered the coarse porcelain bowls and chopsticks from the table. “If I weren’t tough, how could I hold this whole family together? Every one of you knows how to open your mouths and wait for food, but do these pots and bowls grow legs and wash themselves? Can the pig trough grow pig feed on its own?”
As soon as she finished speaking, someone shouted from outside the courtyard gate, “Aunt Qiongxian! Aunt Qiongxian, are you home?”
“Who’s having a baby now?” Li Qiongxian called back.
The person outside came in, panting. He was the younger son of the Chen family, who lived at the foot of the neighboring mountain. “Auntie, my sister-in-law has gone into labor. She’s been in pain for half the night. My mother told me to hurry over and ask you to come!”
Li Qiongxian shoved the bowls into Zhao Shuhe’s hands. “Little He, wash the dishes. Lanzi, you’re carrying a baby, so don’t go running around. Manzhu, you split that firewood for me!”
Li Qiongxian was a famous midwife for miles around. Whenever a family’s daughter-in-law went into labor, they usually came to ask for her help. She had steady hands and plenty of courage; even when a delivery was difficult, she could hold the situation together.
In the past, Zhao Shuhe had only thought that her mother was impressive.
Now that she looked at her again, she realized that her mother had barely gone to school, yet she could save lives. In these isolated mountains, she had earned everyone’s respect. While everyone else was referred to merely as someone’s wife, her mother was Sister-in-law Qiongxian. That was the confidence that came from having a real skill.
Li Qiongxian hurried after the Chen family’s younger son and quickly left through the courtyard gate. Once their mother was out of sight, Zhao Manzhu let out a long sigh of relief. “Ah, Mom’s finally gone.”
“Third Brother, the firewood is still over there,” Zhao Shuhe kindly reminded him.
“Little Sister, why are you always helping Mom keep an eye on me now?”
Zhao Shulan sat beneath the eaves of the main room. “Manzhu, hurry up and get to work. If Mom comes back and sees that you haven’t split the wood, you’ll be finished.”
Zhao Manzhu did not dare argue with Eldest Sister. He immediately picked up the ax and began chopping. After Zhao Shuhe washed the bowls clean, she crouched beside the woodpile and helped stack the split pieces neatly along the base of the wall.
After a while, Zhao Manzhu saw that his sister was about to keep carrying wood and hurried to stop her. “Go on, go rest somewhere. Your hands were covered in bloody cracks from frostbite a few days ago. They’ve only just gotten better. Don’t carry wood and split them open again.”
Zhao Shuhe lowered her head and looked at her hands. The medicine had improved her chilblains considerably. Afraid he would notice something unusual, she quickly pulled down her sleeves. “Third Brother, I’m fine.”
Zhao Shulan beckoned to Zhao Shuhe. “Little Sister, come here. Your sister wants to ask you something serious.”
Zhao Shuhe walked over and sat on the short wooden stool beside her. “Sis, what is it?”
Zhao Shulan looked at her. “The city is good, but not everyone can go there. Families in the city are picky when choosing a daughter-in-law, too. They look at her background, her appearance, and whether she’s diligent with her hands and feet.”
Zhao Shuhe did not want to discuss any of that. In a small voice, she said, “Sis, I understand all that… Did you ever regret marrying into the neighboring commune?”
Zhao Shulan gave a bitter smile and shook her head. “How could I not have regretted it during the first two years? Your brother-in-law spent all year traveling around the commune hauling goods and was away from home for ten days or half a month at a time. My parents-in-law had strict rules. As a new daughter-in-law from another village, I had to get up before dawn to cook. Looking after the children was so exhausting that I would hide under the covers and cry in the middle of the night.”
Zhao Shuhe listened quietly.
Zhao Shulan continued, “Later, once life settled into a routine, I just accepted it. Your brother-in-law doesn’t beat me, he brings his earnings home, and my in-laws never let me go without food or drink. Compared with the women in the village who get cursed at and beaten, I suppose I’ve had a good fate.”
Those words made Zhao Shuhe’s chest feel tight. In these mountains, what people called a woman’s “good fate” was simply not being beaten, having food to eat, and having a man willing to bring his wages home.
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