“Why…?”
Hayeop asked in an innocent voice. His blank, pale face seemed to glow white. Young Master lifted a hand, then flinched and stopped. Had he been about to stroke Hayeop’s hair?
“You don’t understand men.”
But Hayeop was a man himself, so how could he not understand men? It was terribly confusing. He wanted to ask what Yoonwon meant, but there was no trace of a smile on his face.
“I won’t come looking for you again.”
Then he turned his broad back on Hayeop with ruthless finality, looking so cold that even a knife wound might not draw blood.
Hayeop remained there, staring blankly at the empty space. By the time he finally looked down, his toes had shriveled into wrinkled little prunes. They looked as wilted as he felt.
I won’t come looking for you again.
Apparently, he had not been joking. Young Master truly stopped coming. He did not even return home. Three days passed that way.
“I-I suppose I won’t need to make much dinner tonight.”
Hayeop muttered for no particular reason. The words left a strangely bitter aftertaste.
“I only need to prepare Madam’s dinner.”
He neatly layered slices of radish across the bottom of a pot. At that moment, he heard a rush of air behind him. Was that the front door opening?
“You’re home…?”
He turned with a radiant smile, only to find his mother coming through the door instead of Young Master. Disappointment immediately spread across Hayeop’s face.
“What’s wrong, Hayeop?”
His mother had gone to scoop some soybean paste from the earthenware jar. As she stirred it gently into the pot with a spoon and asked if something had happened, Hayeop shook his head.
“It’s nothing.”
He couldn’t understand why his side felt so empty these days. No, the truth was that he knew exactly why. Lately, Young Master had constantly appeared out of nowhere to pick fights with him or make jokes.
Now all of that had vanished.
I was only pretending not to like it while hiding how excited I felt deep inside. When did I become such a liar? I’ve become far too good at pretending not to care and pretending not to know.
“……”
Young Master would never come looking for him again. He must have been rather shocked, after all, to learn that he had kissed another man with the same thing between his legs.
I have to leave this house as soon as possible.
To do that, Hayeop needed to find work. Before coming to this house, he had worked at a stocking factory.
He and his mother had lived crammed together in a rented room, but it had been far too small, dirty, smelly, and noisy. This place was so comfortable that he had shamelessly settled in.
But I really can’t stay here any longer.
Hayeop searched the entire neighborhood and brought home a classifieds paper. He lay on his stomach on the floor and leafed through it.
“Have some melon.”
His mother peeled and sliced it beautifully for him. Hayeop stabbed a piece with his chopsticks and crunched into it.
The first part-time job Hayeop landed was loading and unloading parcels. It was exactly difficult enough to make him feel as though he were dying.
“I’m going to die….”
At two in the morning, they handed out sweet red bean buns. As Hayeop sat crouched alone, a young man working in the neighboring section approached him.
“First time?”
Was he an athlete or something? He looked like a complete delinquent. He was heavily built, his hair looked as though he had washed it in beer until it turned yellow, and his thick forearms were even covered in tattoos.
“Y-yes….”
Wondering whether the man had come to extort him, Hayeop cautiously hid the remains of his red bean bun in his pocket. His blood sugar had dropped terribly. He had brought a frozen yogurt drink, but it had melted long ago in the heat. If he didn’t consume at least that much, he felt as though the world might start spinning.
“Ha ha! What are you doing? Think I’m here to shake you down?”
The young man said he was friends with the boss and gave Hayeop several more red bean buns. He’s nicer than he looks. I must never judge people by their faces again, Hayeop thought, deeply moved.
“My name’s Taehee. What’s yours?”
“I’m Hayeop….”
They turned out to be the same age, so Hayeop awkwardly forced himself to speak casually. Taehee was nicer than expected, but he talked incessantly. Hayeop shared his yogurt drink in hopes of stopping his mouth for a moment, but Taehee swallowed it at once and promptly resumed talking.
“Isn’t this too hard for you? Your arms are so skinny.”
“No. All work is hard….”
Hayeop spoke as softly as an ant while sweat streamed down his face. He carefully wiped it away with a paper towel.
“Once it gets hotter, it becomes hard to breathe in here. You should hurry and find another job.”
“Another job?”
Hayeop considered that. Manual labor was naturally cold in winter and hot in summer. The heat pouring from the machines at the stocking factory had been far worse than this, and the owner had been such a pervert that the women working there suffered terribly.
Compared with that, this place wasn’t so bad. At least no one harassed him.
“I know a good place. Want to try it?”
Taehee quietly told him that it paid more per day, wasn’t hot, and the work wasn’t difficult. A place like that had to be heaven.
“There’s really somewhere like that? Where?”
The place Taehee recommended was a nightclub in Apgujeong.
“It’s called Juliet Nightclub. Everyone around here knows it.”
“I’ve never been anywhere like that.”
Hayeop hesitated as he chewed his red bean bun.
“I’m a complete loser.”
“That’s all right.”
Hayeop blinked. Usually, something else was supposed to follow those words. Something like, That’s all right, you’re not a loser.
When Hayeop continued staring, Taehee misunderstood and grinned.
“Don’t worry. I’m close with the manager. I’ll put in a good word for you.”
They agreed to meet outside the nightclub the following day, with Hayeop dressed in clean clothes.
“All right….”
The next day, Hayeop arrived at the nightclub and immediately shrank back at the sight of the two hulking men guarding the entrance.
“Um, I heard you were hiring kitchen staff.”
“If you’re underage, get lost. You’ll be in trouble when the bosses find out.”
“I’m not. I have my identification card. Here.”
Just then, Taehee came out and hurriedly ushered Hayeop inside.
“He’s the guy I told you about.”
Taehee introduced him to an older man, and Hayeop immediately bent at the waist in greeting. His mother always said that, no matter what else, a person must greet others properly. First impressions were extremely important.
“H-hello, Mr. Manager.”
Then he launched into an explanation of his qualifications.
“I’m very good at cutting fruit. I can make rabbits from apple slices, of course, and I’m good at preparing snacks…”
He could feel the man staring intently at him. The man ran his tongue over his lips, and Hayeop recoiled when he saw the metal stud piercing it. What is he, a rattlesnake? Does he disinfect that thing properly? He could get metal poisoning if he isn’t careful.
“I have a lot of experience working in kitchens. If you’ll just give me a chance—”
“Hey, what are you talking about?”
“W-what?”
Hayeop blinked both eyes. Could the man mean he would not hire him? If so, Hayeop was prepared to use his specialty: clinging to the man’s trouser leg and refusing to let go. Hayeop had never possessed any pride to begin with.
“A kid like you should be waiting tables, not working in the kitchen.”
“Waiting tables?”
Could someone as shy as him possibly do that? But the daily pay was twice as much. The offer smelled far too sweet to refuse.
“It’d be a waste to hide a pretty mug like yours in the kitchen. Taehee can teach you the job.”
Wasn’t a mug a cup? And what did he mean by pretty? The manager kept saying things Hayeop couldn’t understand.
“You can make plenty in tips, too. If they offer you alcohol, pretend to drink it and pour it away.”
“Yes….”
“Even if they’re in their fifties, call them miss and smile sweetly at them. With that ass, you’ll have money stuffed into your pockets all night.”
Smack, smack. He slapped Hayeop’s bottom, then snickered that it was nice and plump. Hayeop jumped in surprise. They weren’t in a foreign country, so was it really acceptable to touch people so freely?
“Come on, why are you scaring him?”
Taehee intervened, but the manager insisted that men always played around like this with each other and even stuck out his own backside.
“If you think it’s unfair, slap mine.”
Hayeop adamantly refused, waving both hands.
“N-no, sir. That’s quite all right.”
He shook his head and quickly backed away. The manager said he liked how innocent and unspoiled Hayeop was, then ruffled his hair.
“Eight o’clock at night, Thursday through Sunday. Show up on time.”
Hayeop bowed a full ninety degrees. Clutching the uniform tightly to his chest, he left the nightclub.
“Taehee, thank you for finding me such a good job.”
Hayeop smiled so broadly that his cheeks rose, promising to treat Taehee once he received his wages. Taehee grinned mischievously.
“How much are you planning to make in tips?”
“A lot. I want to make a huge amount.”
At Hayeop’s bold declaration, Taehee burst into cheerful laughter. When he said Hayeop had a serious case of money fever, Hayeop laughed along with him.
Yes, I should keep myself busy. Then perhaps I can forget this tangled mind and restless heart, if only for a little while.
That was what he resolved to do.