[015 I’ve Come to Apologise]
Zhuang Yiyi really hated arguments.
She walked calmly towards Chen Ding, who had already stood up, looking relaxed and beaming. Zhuang Yiyi asked, “What did you want to talk to me about?” In truth, she didn’t want to discuss it in the break room.
Chen Ding smiled. “Let’s go inside.”
No sooner had they stepped inside and the door closed than Zhuang Yiyi had just managed to put on a cold expression when, as she turned around, she heard Chen Ding’s aggrieved voice.
“Darling, I’ve been waiting for you for over an hour.”
Just as Chen Ding arrived, Zhuang Yiyi had received a WeChat message from Zhang Zhang. She did indeed feel a twinge of guilt for keeping him waiting so long.
With her hands tucked into the pockets of her white coat and her fingernails digging into the flesh of her palms, Zhuang Yiyi said coldly, “What exactly do you want from me?”
Faced with her coldness, Chen Ding sighed inwardly, his expression turning serious. “Honey, I’ve come to apologise.”
“Mm.”
“I’ve thought long and hard about that crucial point you mentioned. I realise I was wrong. My mistake was that I shouldn’t have investigated your affairs without your permission. I should have sought your consent first, and only then, if you were willing, asked Fang Zhixi to speak to Dr Yao. That is why I have come here specifically to apologise.”
Chen Ding looked at Zhuang Yiyi with sincerity and earnestness. Her lips trembled slightly, but she swallowed her words. She had absolutely no idea what to say at that moment. Chen had laid out her excuses so clearly, and his apology was so sincere—it wasn’t just a perfunctory gesture. She looked at Chen Ding, then averted her gaze as if trying to escape. Chen Ding could see her inner turmoil; he took a step forward and looked at her with his bright, earnest eyes. “So, are you willing to forgive me?”
Zhuang Yiyi really wanted to say she wouldn’t forgive him. But she had no grounds for it. She recalled their argument; she had done her utmost to portray herself as unreasonable, unwilling to listen, and shifting all the blame onto Chen Ding. To play the part of the ‘shrew’ convincingly, she had even rehearsed it silently in her mind several times. Her dedication was on a par with revising for final exams.
She’d tried so hard, only to end up with a wet blanket.
Chen Ding watched her as she looked away, saying nothing. He shook Zhuang Yiyi’s shoulder; she glared at him resentfully. Chen Ding smiled, cupping her face in both hands. “What’s wrong? Why aren’t you speaking? Are you still angry?”
“What if I say I am?”
“Then I’ll keep apologising until you’re no longer angry.”
Zhuang Yiyi saw the sincerity in his eyes, and a wave of frustration at her own behaviour welled up within her. She pushed Chen Ding’s hands away from her face. “Do you have anything else to do? If not, I’m going to get back to work.”
Chen Ding sensed something was amiss. “What’s really wrong? If you’re still angry, perhaps I could find a way to help you and Dr Yao make up?”
Zhuang Yiyi was drawn in by Chen Ding’s last remark, but on second thought, she realised the situation was a dead end. The matter between her and her senior colleague was not something she should be shifting the blame for onto Chen Ding.
After this interruption, Zhuang Yiyi’s mood improved considerably. “No need. I’ll sort it out myself. Aren’t you busy?”
Chen Ding could see her change of mood clearly. He said, “I am quite busy. But I feel there’s something more important.”
The gravity in Chen Ding’s tone startled Zhuang Yiyi. “What is it?”
Chen Ding took a step forward; Zhuang Yiyi instinctively took a step back, then watched him warily. Chen Ding’s tone was so calm it was unlike his usual self. “It’s about you not replying to my messages.”
So that was it, Zhuang Yiyi thought, feeling inexplicably relieved; she’d thought it was something serious. Chen Ding took in her reaction. “This is no small matter.”
Zhuang Yiyi slowly raised her eyes to look at him. Chen Ding’s serious expression caused Zhuang Yiyi to grow serious herself without realising it.
Chen Ding listed her ‘offences’ one by one: not answering his calls, not replying to his WeChat messages… Although Zhuang Yiyi had now focused her attention and, led by Chen Ding, was taking the matter seriously, she still stuck to her own view. “I don’t think there’s anything worth replying to.”
“Even if there’s nothing to reply to, I sent you so many messages—shouldn’t you have sent a sticker to cheer me up?”
It wasn’t really an unreasonable request. But Zhuang Yiyi’s thoughts suddenly took a turn: could she accuse Chen Ding of deliberately shifting the blame onto her?
The moment the thought crossed her mind, she immediately suppressed it. She didn’t want to argue.
She said, “Fine.”
Chen Ding smiled, stepped forward to embrace her, then leaned down and said, “My wife is so lovely. Shall we go for a meal then? I’m hungry.”
Zhuang Yiyi looked at him. Not arguing didn’t mean she had to go out for a meal with him.
Just as she was about to refuse, there was a knock at the door.
Zhuang Yiyi pushed him away to open the door, and to her surprise, it was Yao Mu standing there.
“Senior Brother?” Yao Mu hadn’t reached out to her on his own initiative for a long time.
Yao Mu still refused to acknowledge her. “Teacher Jiao is looking for you.” With that, as if unwilling to say a single word more, he turned and left.
Zhuang Yiyi glanced back at Chen Ding inside the room; he gave her a slight nod, indicating he’d heard.
Zhuang Yiyi said, “You go and eat on your own.”
When Professor Jiao called her over, it wasn’t for anything important; he just gave her a few brief instructions, asked about the patient’s condition, and then enquired about her relationship with Yao Mu before letting her go.
It was only on her way back that Zhuang Yiyi realised something was amiss. Teacher Jiao wasn’t the sort to be so wordy, and besides, he could have called her directly; there was no need to go through her senior colleague to find her.
Realising this, Zhuang Yiyi fell silent.
Back in the staff room, Chen Ding was still there. Perhaps out of boredom, he was sitting in a chair, leaning against the desk and playing with his mobile.
“Why are you still here?”
Chen Ding’s eyebrows drooped. “I wanted to have dinner with you.”
Hearing this, Zhuang Yiyi felt a twinge of guilt, and before she could even process it, the words had already slipped out: “Shall I order some takeaway for you?”
Chen Ding’s earlier expression seemed to vanish in an instant. “Sure,” he said.
Zhuang Yiyi felt as though she’d been tricked.
Whilst eating in the canteen, Yao Mu spotted Han Rong sitting alone.
He asked, “Why are you eating on your own?”
Han Rong replied, “Yiyi said she had something to do.”
Yao Mu gave a soft reply.
After taking a couple of bites, Han Rong looked at Yao Mu and asked, “Have you two had a falling out?
Yao Mu replied indifferently, “No.”
Han Rong chuckled. “We’re all psychiatry students here, so could you at least draft a lie before you tell it? You’re a grown man—why are you being so petty? “Besides, you’ve had the same tutor and been classmates for so long—what could possibly be so serious that you’d argue for this long?”
Yao Mu put down his chopsticks. From his gentle expression, Han Rong detected a hint of displeasure and sarcasm. “It’s not that I wanted to argue with her. It’s her behaviour—it seriously crossed a line.”
“That serious?” Han Rong asked, puzzled.
“You can ask her yourself,” Yao Mu said calmly as he picked up his plate. “She certainly won’t tell you.”
Han Rong went to ask Zhuang Yiyi why she and Yao Mu had been arguing. Zhuang Yiyi didn’t give a reason, but simply said, “It’s a bit hard to explain.”
Han Rong smiled. “When I bumped into Yao Mu at lunchtime, he said you definitely wouldn’t tell me.”
Zhuang Yiyi looked somewhat taken aback, and Han Rong continued, “Don’t worry, I won’t press you. I’m quite sensible.”
Someone knocked and came in—it was the intern Han Rong had brought in. There was clearly trouble between them too; just as Yao Mu had treated Zhuang Yiyi, the intern treated Han Rong as if she weren’t there.
“The two of you?”
Han Rong let out a wail to the heavens. “Oh, people! Why can’t we just control ourselves!”
Zhuang Yiyi listened as Han Rong explained. It was simple: the two had taken a liking to each other, slept together, and now the intern wanted a proper relationship. Han Rong wasn’t having any of it. They were currently in the midst of a cold war.
Zhuang Yiyi said, “A rabbit doesn’t eat the grass by its burrow.”
Han Rong emphasised, “I don’t want to either. But he’s just so handsome.”
“……”
Having experienced failed arguments, Zhuang Yiyi had given up on playing the shrew. She decided to carry on as she always had.
Chen Ding felt the same. He, too, intended to carry on as before.
He called Zhuang Yiyi’s number.
Zhuang Yiyi watched with a faint frown as Chen Ding strolled in nonchalantly. He approached with a beaming smile and, noticing Qian Zhang standing beside her, asked cheerfully, “Do you work at this hospital too?”
Qian Zhang smiled warmly. “Yes. I’ve only been here a short while; I’m currently working alongside Dr Zhuang. What brings you here?”
Qian Zhang was so enthusiastic that he seemed to want to take over Chen Ding’s case from Zhuang Yiyi. Chen Ding smiled and said, “I’d like to have a private chat with Dr Zhuang.”
Qian Zhang understood and stepped out, leaving the two plenty of space.
Zhuang Yiyi looked at Chen Ding sitting beside her and asked, “What brings you here?”
Chen Ding replied, “To see the doctor.”
“What’s wrong with you?”
“Lovesickness.”
“……” Zhuang Yiyi said, “If you really are ill, then tell me. If you’re not, don’t waste my working hours.”
“How is this wasting your working hours? I’ve come here specifically to see you.”
“What for?”
“To build a relationship with you. Besides, work is so tiring; wouldn’t it be nice if I gave you a few extra minutes’ rest?”
Zhuang Yiyi said, “Then don’t speak.”
Chen Ding said, “That won’t do. How can we build a relationship without talking?”
“That’s not rest then; that’s keeping you company.”
Chen Ding said, “All right then, you keep me company.”
“……”
Zhuang Yiyi asked, “Aren’t lawyers supposed to be very busy?” Yet Zhuang Yiyi always seemed to be able to see Chen Ding.
Chen Ding said, “It depends on the person and the situation. If you have a lot of cases and are ambitious, you’ll be busier. I’ve already passed that stage.”
Chen Ding suddenly started talking about his early days after graduation. He joined a law firm straight after graduating. The transition from trainee solicitor to fully qualified solicitor requires a one-year probationary period, during which you cannot appear in court alone but must shadow a senior colleague. That year, whilst preparing for his qualification, he worked until two or three in the morning every day, sometimes even pulling all-nighters. The day before he was due to qualify, he was admitted to hospital without warning.
It was the first time he had come close to death. He wasn’t afraid, because in that split second, he lost all consciousness. But lying there in the hospital bed, he realised the full gravity of the situation.
Noticing the silence, Chen Ding smiled to lighten the mood. “That was close. You nearly lost your husband.”
Zhuang Yiyi said nothing.
Chen Ding pressed his advantage. “If you feel sorry for me, why not come with me to the hot springs this week?”