Just that one sentence extinguished half the flame blazing high in Zhuo Zhixuan’s heart.
But he still felt terrible.
They had known each other for more than ten years, and Chen Wan had never seen his friend this angry. He thought for a moment, then raised his hand and pressed it to Zhuo Zhixuan’s shoulder, using a little force. It was not heavy, but what he said next pressed down on Zhuo Zhixuan’s chest like a mountain.
Chen Wan looked at him and said, “Do you know who was in charge of Little Olive Mountain sixteen years ago?”
Zhuo Zhixuan’s pupils trembled. He stared straight at Chen Wan and opened his mouth.
“You—”
“Yes.” Chen Wan caught his gaze and admitted it frankly. “This is the closest step I can take.” Even if it might not truly succeed.
Part of the reason he had not wanted to use Zhuo Zhixuan’s or Tan Youming’s connections for this business was that, in the end, it would very likely lead to asking Shen Zongnian or Zhao Shengge for help. More importantly, he did not want to let Luo Qiansheng go.
Zhuo Zhixuan looked at Chen Wan and could not speak.
So he had never forgotten. Not for a single day. Perhaps not for a minute, not even for a second.
Mad, dark hatred flowed in Chen Wan’s blood. It was only suppressed by his morals and character. Zhuo Zhixuan had known that from the moment he met him.
Chen Wan was someone who could, without changing expression, stomp an older student who had bullied him until the student’s bones broke.
At nine, he had stabbed a pair of scissors straight through Liao Quan’s palm.
At twelve, he had set a fire at Little Olive Mountain.
At thirteen, when he helped Zhuo Zhixuan fight Zhuo Shengyan, he had never held back. Fourteen years had passed, and even now, Zhuo Shengyan still took a detour whenever seeing him.
At fifteen, at a banquet, he had watched coldly as the principal wife of the Chen family’s first household suffered a cerebral infarction and collapsed alone in the garden. Chen Wan had not said a word. If she had been discovered a little later, resuscitation would have failed outright.
People were complicated, half devil and half Buddha. Zhuo Zhixuan did not know what had temporarily bound Chen Wan’s darkness, coldness, and even his willingness to challenge bottom lines like a rope, allowing him to wear a gentle, kind human skin and live like a person.
In many cases, he had even overcorrected. Chen Wan had something of a self-sacrificing personality, of course—only toward friends and family.
But the older Zhuo Zhixuan grew, the more he felt something was wrong. That was why Monica later came to Chen Wan’s side.
After a stretch of silence.
“Even so…” Zhuo Zhixuan’s throat tightened. Irritated, he lit a cigarette. “Even so, with something this big, you still can’t just take it on alone without a word. Have you thought about the consequences?”
But in truth, he and Chen Wan both knew very clearly that asking Tan Youming and the others for help with a project was one thing. Once it involved bringing down an official, the nature of the matter became completely different.
Old families and great clans had interests tangled together in every direction. This sort of thing was no small matter even for Tan Youming or Shen Zongnian. No friendship was deep enough to demand that much.
Chen Wan would also never place Zhuo Zhixuan in such danger and risk. Asking Tan Youming or Shen Zongnian for help would in fact be pushing others into an impossible moral position, leaving the difficult problem to them. If they helped, it would be difficult. If they did not help, it would also be difficult.
Chen Wan could not do such a thing. This was his own rotten debt. If he could avenge it, he would wipe it away with his own hands. If he could not, he would not drag unrelated people into it.
Most importantly, Chen Wan could never let anyone else know about Little Olive Mountain.
Especially Zhao Shengge.
Fortunately, a murder case had occurred later at Little Olive Mountain. Regulatory departments came to investigate and dug deeper and deeper, involving too many interests. Every rotten account from sixteen years ago had long since been handled as confidential and sealed away by time. Even if someone wanted to retrieve those records now, it would be almost impossible.
And so Chen Wan’s past had been sealed away with them.
That gave him temporary peace of mind.
Cigarette butts fell all over the floor. No one spoke again. The silence seemed to have substance. Zhuo Zhixuan no longer knew what he should say to Chen Wan, or what else he could say.
Once Chen Wan decided on something, no one else could change it or interfere.
Zhao Shengge could not. Let alone Zhuo Zhixuan.
Only when the cigarette in his hand burned down did Zhuo Zhixuan’s throat move. Tired and helpless, he said, “Ah Wan, can you treat yourself a little better?”
After thinking for a very long time and still not knowing what to say, this was the only thing he wanted to say to Chen Wan. It was already his only demand of Chen Wan. It could not even be called a demand—only a plea.
Of thousands of words, the only one he could say aloud was this: could he please treat himself a little better?
“Forget Luo Qiansheng.” On that, he had no right and no standing to say anything. Those who had never suffered another’s pain should not urge that person to be kind. But Zhuo Zhixuan crushed out his cigarette. “In the future, when it comes to business, don’t use yourself as collateral.”
“If this deal doesn’t work, there will be the next one, and the one after that. Do you have to take every single deal? Can you finish them all? Can your body hold up? Look at what you look like now, neither human nor ghost. I really don’t know if one day you’ll just—”
Chen Wan pressed his lips together and said, “Ah Xuan, I’m not treating myself badly.”
But reality was like this.
Even if he set aside Luo Qiansheng, he would still have done the same.
Hai City was a prosperous city, covered in gold and filled with opportunity, but it devoured people without spitting out the bones. Beneath the gold lay cold white skeletons. Competition was fierce; a thousand poles advanced together, a hundred boats fought the current. If one truly behaved honestly and properly, what business was there left to do?
It had not been easy for Chen Wan to climb to his current position. Truly, it had not been easy at all.
The commercial sea rose and fell, its currents strange and treacherous. In this demonic harbor where the weak were prey to the strong and the fittest survived with particular brutality, the cubicles of Andrew Avenue were lit forever, the Admiral Street CBD complex never closed, and every month, someone went bankrupt and jumped from the rooftop of the Financial Tower’s more than one hundred seventy floors. With the slightest slackening, being eliminated, discarded, and buried was only a matter of moments.
Not even a name would be left behind.
How many billionaires and business predators had collapsed like mountains in a single day? Because of that, Chen Wan had never dared to relax. In everything, he thought deeply, handled matters personally, and stood ready as if facing a great enemy, afraid that one careless moment would see him caught in the silt of the commercial sea and swept into the torrent.
Among a thousand poles and a hundred boats, he wanted to stand alone at the crest of the tide. He did not need to be too close to that person. At the very least, being able to gaze at him from far away, like looking at the sun, was enough to satisfy him.
Zhuo Zhixuan came from a different background and had different experiences. He could not understand or agree with Chen Wan’s choices and methods. Chen Wan did not force him to, did not mind, and did not want to explain too much.
None of that prevented them from being true friends.
The deeper he stood in the glittering field of fame and profit, the more Chen Wan understood how precious Zhuo Zhixuan was.
“You’re not treating yourself badly,” Zhuo Zhixuan said with light mockery. “Then Monica said you haven’t picked up your medication in half a month.”
“Yes.” Chen Wan rubbed his temple. “I’ve already apologized to Monica. I made an appointment to go this weekend for certain, and even troubled her to adjust her schedule again. But this time I set a reminder. I’ll definitely attend the appointment on time.”
Zhuo Zhixuan’s anger, which had just gone down, rose again. “Why are you always thinking about whether you’re troubling other people? What matters is your own body, not some doctor’s schedule. Do you really take this seriously at all?”
“I know what I’m doing.”
“What could you possibly know?” Zhuo Zhixuan no longer believed him. “Send me the new appointment time. I’ll personally escort you there.”
The follow-up was scheduled for Sunday. Zhuo Zhixuan and Monica were very close as senior and junior from the same program. Monica told him the follow-up data was not optimistic, and she hoped Zhuo Zhixuan could persuade Chen Wan to reduce his working hours and psychological stress, and to pay more attention to his lifestyle and mental health.
Zhuo Zhixuan said, “That’s hard.”
Monica said helplessly, “Then at least make him do the most basic thing—take his medication on time.”
Zhuo Zhixuan sighed. “I’ll talk to him.”
On the way back, Zhuo Zhixuan drove. He brought up Tan Youming’s earlier invitation for Chen Wan to attend the dinner with the shipping king and asked whether he had time. If he was too tired and wanted to rest, Zhuo Zhixuan would decline for him.
Although if Chen Wan did not show up again, that group of young masters would very likely come to Zhuo Zhixuan’s door and demand he hand him over.
Chen Wan smiled and said he was exaggerating.
Zhuo Zhixuan clicked his tongue. “When the time comes, go see for yourself whether I’m exaggerating.”
Chen Wan seemed born knowing how to love others, yet he had never considered the possibility that he himself could be loved.
What Zhuo Zhixuan did not know was that people who had never truly been loved did not have that concept in their minds.
Chen Wan only smiled again and said nothing. The project had settled, and he had finally pulled himself out of day-and-night overtime.
After thinking for a moment, he still asked the question aloud. “Will he go?”
Zhuo Zhixuan said, “Why do you care whether he goes? If you want to go, go. If you don’t, don’t.”
Chen Wan had only been asking casually. He said, “I’ll go.” Even just for Tan Youming, he ought to go.
Chen Wan had received too little kindness. Whoever gave him even a little, he would repay twice over.