During the years she lived at the Yan residence, the words An Yao hated hearing most from Yan Muzhou were things like treating her as a sister or being entrusted to take care of her.
Back then, it was out of selfishness—she didn't want their relationship to be defined solely by that dynamic of guardian and ward.
Four years had passed since she left Beiyang, and hearing it now no longer stung the way it once did. But it truly was unnecessary at this point.
An Yao said, "No need. I'm twenty-two now, and I'll be graduating from university tomorrow. There's nothing I need looking after."
Uncle Wu, the butler, had already arrived near the corridor. He greeted Yan Muzhou respectfully, then turned to An Yao and said, "Miss An, Elder Yan heard you've arrived and would like you to join him in the study for tea."
An Yao nodded. "Alright, I'll head over now."
She had lived here for three years and knew every corner of the place, so there was no need for someone to show her the way.
After relaying the old man's message, Uncle Wu went to the front courtyard to give instructions to a few servants who were sweeping fallen leaves.
Yan Muzhou was presumably heading back as well, so he walked the same direction as her toward the main entrance of the villa.
Just like before—even though An Yao had said she needed no looking after—he brought it up casually midway: "Now that you're out doing your internship, is your living allowance enough?"
An Yao had never actually touched the living allowance the Yan family provided. That bank card had been set up for her by someone Yan Muzhou arranged when she was in high school in Beiyang. Later, when she went to university, she switched to a phone plan with campus data, and she couldn't even receive text messages on that old number. She had no idea how much money was in the account now.
But she hadn't saved up enough from her high school years to repay the living expenses and tuition from that time, and she had no intention of bringing up repayment now. She only said vaguely, "It's enough."
Yan Muzhou gave a light "Mm," his tone somewhat offhand. "Working out in the real world isn't like being in school—expenses add up everywhere. If it's not enough, just tell me, and I'll have more added."
"Oh, no need."
An Yao refused almost without thinking, but after taking two more steps forward, she sensed something off and glanced sideways at him. "Wait—was my living allowance transferred by you all this time?"
It was midday, but the clouds had parted slightly in the wind, casting a thin halo of light across the man's face and outlining the sharp, clean contours of his profile.
There was about a step's distance between them. Besides the scent of the garden's plants and trees, An Yao could faintly catch the sandalwood fragrance on him.
It was mixed with a very light trace of tobacco, blending together like incense burning in a winter fireplace.
The same scent he'd always had—from the toiletries he habitually used.
Yan Muzhou: "No."
An Yao inexplicably felt a wave of relief.
She figured as much. A small matter like this wouldn't fall to someone as busy as him. It must have been Elder Yan delegating it to Uncle Wu or some subordinate.
Then she heard Yan Muzhou add, "I had my assistant do it."
"…"
So it was basically him.
An Yao turned her head back, paused for two seconds, then said, "Thank you."
Yan Muzhou glanced at her sideways. "Being this polite with me now—doesn't suit you."
An Yao muttered, "Proves I've matured."
"Fine."
Yan Muzhou gave a faint tug at the corner of his lips, his tone flat. "If you'd been like this back then, maybe you'd have spared me a few years of my life."
"…?"
An Yao instinctively shot him a glare.
Was it really that dramatic?
Sure, during those high school years, she had been a bit willful in front of him from time to time.
Like dragging him to help her with homework until the early hours of the morning, making up excuses that her tutor's explanations were too confusing for her to understand.
For instance, on weekends, regardless of whether he was busy or not, she would insist that he take her out, playfully claiming that staying cooped up in the Yan family's old residence during her break would make her age prematurely.
But wasn't that all because…
She wanted to create opportunities to spend more time with him.
"Once my internship ends, I'll go back to Nancheng. From then on, I won't come to Beiyang unless absolutely necessary, and I definitely won't show up in front of you—see if you can live to a ripe old age."
An Yao couldn't help but retort in her usual way, retreating to advance, just like before.
This was also how she used to talk to him back in high school—with that slightly proud, awkward stubbornness.
Yan Muzhou looked at her, not annoyed, and gave a faint smile: "I just said you've grown up now."
And yet, within a few sentences, she had reverted to the style he was all too familiar with.
As they spoke, they had already reached the villa's front gate.
The moment the two stepped inside one after the other, someone came over to speak with Yan Muzhou.
Ever since he took over as group president, his work had been incredibly busy, and he rarely returned to the old residence, so family members seldom got the chance to see him.
An Yao didn't continue chatting with him either. She went upstairs to Elder Yan's study.
Four years had passed since they last met, and Elder Yan Xingzong's demeanor hadn't changed one bit. He seemed to have taken good care of his health—his complexion was excellent—though a few more wrinkles appeared to have formed between his brows.
An Yao greeted him and sat down on a Chinese-style wooden chair beneath the windowsill.
A servant came over to brew a fresh pot of tea.
After brief pleasantries about the old man's health and recent circumstances, Yan Xingzong furrowed his brow: "You child, your temperament is exactly like your grandfather's. To put it nicely, you're independent and proud; to put it bluntly, you're a bit cold and detached."
An Yao said nervously, "…No, I'm not."
She thought to herself that there were simply too many people eager to curry favor with the Yan family. Amidst all those fawning relatives, her attitude, in Yan Xingzong's eyes, came across as aloof.
Still, she supposed she wasn't exactly a very warm person.
An Yao added another explanation: "I just didn't want to trouble you. It's not like when I was a teenager and hadn't come of age yet, when I had to bother you with everything."
"You're only just past twenty now—in my eyes, you're still a child."
Yan Xingzong took a sip of tea and said, "The Yan family is this big; arranging a job for you is hardly a bother. All you had to do was make a phone call. You don't know how to use the resources right in front of you. You went out and found a job yourself after graduating—how much can you earn in a month?"
An Yao pressed her lips together and said nothing.
She knew this was Yan Xingzong's style—he always spoke in a lecturing tone, preferred everything in the family to be under his meticulous control, and looked down on the younger generation's own ideas.
But An Yao wasn't really a member of the Yan family, after all. The old man would at most offer his opinions; he wouldn't actually order her to do anything.
Otherwise, he wouldn't have waited until she was here in person to bring it up.
Seeing that she remained silent, Yan Xingzong shook his head: "No wonder you and Xuexin used to get along so well. She's just as stubborn—always has her own ideas. Look at her, on the Mid-Autumn reunion day, she insisted on running off to some other city to check on a factory, as if her little shops couldn't function without her for even a day."
At the mention of Yan Xuexin, An Yao took the opportunity to steer the conversation in that direction.
Though she had already seen Yan Xuexin's photos on her social feed, posing with friends in Sucheng.
"Xuexin is out of town?"
Yan Xingzong's brow tightened: "That's right—she went off to Sucheng on a holiday of all times."
The topic then became less awkward. After Yan Xingzong scolded his granddaughter from across the distance, he moved on to discussing the recent activities of the younger generation of the Yan family over the past few years, finally concluding with a summary: "Not a single one of them amounts to anything. If it weren't for Muzhou holding this family together, I'd die without closing my eyes!"
"…"
Finally, Yan Xingzong casually asked about An Yao's studies, and Uncle Wu knocked on the door to call them for lunch.
After the meal, An Yao was unable to leave as she had planned.
The reason was that during lunch, Elder Yan announced that everyone in the family, young and old, had to stay and watch the moon together in the evening before leaving.
Fortunately, in Beiyang, autumn brought early sunsets, and the moon-viewing time was tentatively set for nine o'clock in the evening.
Since she couldn't slip away, An Yao sat in the living room for a symbolic amount of time, then found a servant she vaguely recognized from before and asked if she could return to her room for an afternoon nap.
Aunt Shen said with a smile, "Of course, Miss An's room has always been kept tidy. After you went to university, the things you didn't take with you have all been left untouched."
Yan Xuexin wasn't there, and Yan Muzhou was nowhere to be seen either. An Yao really had nothing to say to the other younger members of the Yan family, so staying in the living room would only mean sitting there in a daze.
Back when she had first been brought to the Yan family, she hadn't spent more than a few days with these people before reaching a conclusion.
Under the oppressive weight of the old master's years of strict discipline, half of the Yan family members were dull, and the other half were reckless.
The dull ones had been scared into submission, treating the old master's words as imperial edicts, obeying without question, never daring to step out of line. The reckless ones were mostly rebellious—acting obedient at home while putting on a completely different show of spoiled, prodigal behavior outside.
Yan Muzhou and his sister were the only two exceptions.
But Yan Muzhou had perfectly inherited the old master's way of doing things—calm, steady, and looking down on everyone. Yan Xuexin was more special, being the only one in the family who had grown up spoiled by the old master, relatively lively and carefree.
An Yao's original room was on the third floor, right next to Yan Muzhou's.
When she passed through the hallway, she saw that his door was closed.
He was probably already inside taking his afternoon nap—he'd always had that habit.
An Yao hadn't originally, but back then she'd always wanted to create opportunities to see him. Occasionally, when he happened to be home on weekends, she'd also go back to her room and pretend to nap.
All just so she could walk out of her room at the same time as him and exchange a few words.
Later, worried it was too obvious, she stopped caring whether Yan Muzhou was home or not—every day after lunch, she'd go back to her room and stay there.
The layout of the room indeed hadn't changed, exactly the same as before she'd left for university.
An Yao sat on the sofa by the window, not feeling sleepy at all. She took out her phone and was about to check the app to confirm whether the templates listed in her shop window were still in stock when a WeChat message popped up first.
Yan Xuexin: [You! Came! Back! To! Bei! Yang!]
One exclamation mark per character, each one demanding to know why she hadn't contacted her.
An Yao propped her chin on her hand, slowly typing with one finger: [I just got back not long ago. I heard you went to Sucheng on a business trip—when are you coming back?]
She had considered contacting Yan Xuexin to arrange a meeting. They'd had a good relationship before—when An Yao was a sophomore and Yan Xuexin had just graduated and returned from abroad, she'd even come to Nancheng to visit her.
But An Yao was worried that if she reached out to Yan Xuexin, Yan Muzhou would find out, and she might even end up being invited to a three-person catch-up.
Back then, she'd finally made up her mind to stay away from him, to never see him again.
But now, she'd already seen him several times.
Yan Xuexin quickly replied: [Coming back tomorrow. It's not actually a business trip—I just made up an excuse to come here and get some peace and quiet. Otherwise, I'd have to sit awkwardly at Grandpa's place for all three days of Mid-Autumn Festival. Shh :)]
It was exactly as expected, because An Yao had just been sitting awkwardly outside for quite a while.
An Yao: [I'm back at work tomorrow. When you're free, I'll come find you for a meal.]
Yan Xuexin: [Work… that's rough. Then I'll come find you when I'm free instead. Where do you work?]
An Yao: [At the Yaowei headquarters.]
Yan Xuexin: [Working at my house? Did my brother arrange that too?]
The two hadn't chatted in quite a while. An Yao explained the whole story, then rambled on about all sorts of other things.
When An Yao exited the chat interface, she realized it was already two in the afternoon.
The Yan family had many rules—some were family regulations personally set by the old man, and many others were unwritten ones.
For instance, during festivals like Spring Festival and Mid-Autumn, and even on weekends and holidays, the younger generation wasn't allowed to stay cooped up in their rooms sleeping all day, nor were they allowed to huddle in the living room with their heads buried in their phones.
If the old man caught them, they'd get a scolding.
An Yao had always resented these rules. She couldn't escape the festivals, but on weekends and holidays, she'd find every possible excuse to go out.
But since she rarely came here now, she'd just endure it.
The books she'd left in the cabinet were all still there. She casually pulled one out, planning to head downstairs to find a corner in the living room or the courtyard to read.
Book in hand, An Yao gently pushed open the door—just like many noons four years ago—and ran into Yan Muzhou, who was just coming out of the room next door.
But this time, it was truly unintentional.
Yan Muzhou had just stepped out on his long legs, one hand raised to straighten his shirt collar.
An Yao glanced sideways. That hand with its clearly defined knuckles was right before her eyes.
She said nothing.
Yan Muzhou noticed her too. His gaze dropped slightly, landing on the book she held against her chest—its pages already yellowed with age.
Hesse's Siddhartha.
He'd had a habit of reading since his school days, but there weren't many books he'd reread. This was one of them.
After moving, he hadn't been able to find it, so he'd ordered a new copy.
An Yao also lowered her head, only then realizing which book she'd grabbed at random.
"…This seems to be your book. I borrowed it back then and forgot to return it." She spoke softly, a little embarrassed. "Should I give it back to you now?"
She held the book out to him.
"Mm."
Yan Muzhou finished adjusting his collar and lowered his hand. His voice was still a little husky from just waking from his nap: "No need. Keep it and read it."
For the short stretch through the hallway, neither of them spoke.
The sound of TV news drifted up from the living room downstairs.
As they neared the top of the stairs, An Yao shifted to the side to let him go first.
Then she heard Yan Muzhou ask, "After you watch the moon with the old man tonight, are you heading back to the Jingkai district?"
An Yao nodded. "Yes, I have to get up early for work tomorrow, so I won't stay here overnight."
Yan Muzhou started down the stairs, leaving a casual remark behind: "Ride with me then. I'll have the driver drop you off on the way."