"Hero, why are you with Lanza? She should be dead."
The woman blocking their escape stood in the temple plaza, purple hair and purple eyes glinting under starlight. Her battle robes shimmered, every cuff and clasp forged from consecrated gold.
Saintess Rosalie.
"...A lot happened. Hero's busy, maybe later."
Lich tried to walk past, but Rosalie didn't move an inch.
"So you've turned your back on God."
"And you think that because?"
"I was there. I saw what you did in the judgment hall."
"Then why open like you didn't know?"
"I wanted to see if you understood why I'm angry. ...But I do know. I followed you, Hero. I saw you drag Lanza's soul back. I saw you defy Heaven."
"...."
"And now she lives, though she should not. Proof enough that you've spat in God's face."
Rosalie took her stance with no hesitation, and no mercy.
Most people, Lich figured, would falter before fighting someone they'd traveled with for years. But empathy wasn't his field of study.
"Rosalie, I'd rather not fight you. You're too troublesome an enemy."
"This fist is God's fist. To a blasphemer like you, it must be blinding."
"Not what I meant."
"Then what did you mean?"
"You won't let me resurrect you if I kill you. That's a waste. I see value in your body and soul, and it's sad to think I can't use them."
He whispered an instant-death incantation. It struck her soul—should have struck her soul.
"KATSU!"
Rosalie barked the word, and the curse shattered like glass.
"...Wait, yelling at it worked? That's not how magic's supposed to function."
"Faith makes a mockery of your so-called laws."
"...."
"Your foul aura cannot touch one shielded by God's love. Prepare yourself. Stay still, and I'll erase you painlessly."
"...."
Lich stepped back. This Hero-body wouldn't last long under her "Divine Faith Punch." If it broke, he could return to his true body—but Lanza, left behind, would be slaughtered.
And then—
Clink
"Hero!"
From behind came a shout. Lich turned. A beastgirl with golden fur sprinted toward them, bells jingling on her tail.
Leila.
Rosalie in front. Leila behind. Lanza clinging close. Fighting both while protecting one? Pain.
Lich was still calculating when Leila blurred past him, leapt, and—
crack!
Her heel slammed into Rosalie's head.
"Why—why are you kicking meeeee!?"
The saintess pinwheeled away, stunned. Leila landed lightly, grinning back at them.
"Let's go!"
...Apparently she was an ally now. Lich shrugged and followed, the three of them bolting toward Demonkin lands.
* * *
"Safe enough here. Break time," Leila declared.
They'd crossed the front lines on Hero's VIP pass—word of his betrayal hadn't spread yet—and found shelter in a cratered battlefield. Giants had fought here once; the ground still bore the scars.
Lich and Leila weren't tired, but Lanza needed the rest. They lit a fire under the night sky.
"...Leila, why help me?" Lich asked.
"You killed me."
"True."
"You're strong."
"Also true."
"That's it."
Lich blinked. What even was that logic?
"Wait, so you think I'm still the Hero?"
"No. You're not him, are you?"
"Correct. Hero's body, Lich's soul. The real Hero's gone."
"Shorter, please."
"I'm Lich."
"...So not Hero. Got it."
"Exactly. Have some jerky."
"Yay! Jerky! You're nice, Lich. Killing me then giving me snacks? That's real friendship."
...The bribe worked way too well.
"Anyway, I realized something after reviving. No-resurrection rules are stupid. If you can come back, then you can fight harder, fight crazier, fight forever! I want that. Every day a death match! So I'm sticking with you, because resurrection is convenient."
"See? Necromancy is wonderful."
"It is!"
"Good girl. More jerky."
"Yaaaay! I love eating jerky in the sunshine!"
"It's nighttime."
"Then I'll eat it now anyway!"
So saying, Leila happily tore into the dried meat.
"...Anyway," Lich said, "I'll shift my soul back soon and bring my real body here. While I'm gone, can you guard Lanza and this Hero-shell?"
"...I'm bad at guarding."
"Why?"
"Because guarding means standing still. Waiting. Doing nothing. Hate it."
"...Fair."
Lich hated "mandatory" tasks too. Enough to die for freedom from them.
"But I need a guard. Fine—do it and I'll give you a treat."
"That's wrong."
"Why? Don't you like food?"
"Rewards for duties aren't fun. Surprises are fun. Unexpected gifts, meals out of nowhere—that's what makes me happy."
"...Then what do you want me to do?"
"Figure it out yourself!"
"...Hmm. Okay, I'll hand this extra jerky to Lanza. If you protect her, maybe she'll share."
"Not motivated. She's weaker than me. Serving someone weaker doesn't feel rewarding."
"You're exhausting."
"Not my fault! Motivation isn't a switch you flip!"
"...Honestly? I get that."
"Right!?"
"...Alright. New system. Lanza will watch your performance. She reports to me. If she says you did well, I'll give you snacks. So you'll want to impress her—for my sake."
"Short version?"
"Protect Lanza. Win prizes."
"Done. I'm in."
"Good."
Leila nodded firmly.
And after that exchange, Lich had one crystal-clear thought:
Dealing with people was unbearably annoying. He just wanted to lock himself in a lab and study forever.