So that was how it was. Everything had been a lie. Qin Yun had been spending Lu Qingshen’s money all along. Qin Jian’s heart and insides ached with anger. “They asked and you just gave it to them?” she wondered. Only three months had passed and he had already given five thousand yuan. She dared not imagine how much he had given Qin’s mother and Qin Yun in her past life.
“That money was meant to repay a debt and it was not mine. It came from Grandfather.”
Qin Jian realized that Qin’s grandfather was the true one being taken advantage of. “Actually if Qin Yun’s father had not saved Grandfather his position would have been safe.” Lu Qingshen tried to explain. “But that soldier made a pure sacrifice. As their leader Grandfather could not let such devotion go unhonored. This decision came not only from moral duty but also from what was right for the service.”
“I see.” In her past life the allowances Lu Qingshen had sent to Qin’s mother had likely never come from his own pocket. They had come from his family. Thinking of this eased her hurt. It proved Lu Qingshen had not been the man she had once believed someone who took Qin Yun’s side and wronged her.
“You shall of course receive compensation as well.” he said. “I promised you this. After all it was because of the ties between our families that you entered this marriage and now face divorce. Now that everything is clear will you let me take you for a medical checkup?”
Qin Jian still had questions. Why had he grown cold after her mother made a scene at the military base in her past life? Why had he never explained things as he did today? Why had he shown no care even for their child Xingxing? She opened her mouth but said nothing. Those things had been done by the Lu Qingshen of her past life. This Lu Qingshen did not have the answers himself. She would never know.
“Very well.” she said. “I will go.” She had planned to return for a prenatal checkup after receiving the divorce certificate anyway. Lu Qingshen held out a hand to her. She stopped in confusion. “What is it?” She checked her clothes. There was nothing wrong with them.
“I am helping you.” he said seriously. “You are four months pregnant now. You must take better care. You need to remember you are carrying a child.” He was showing concern for her. Qin Jian almost thought she was imagining it. The Lu Qingshen she had known in her past life had been so distant. Still accustomed to managing everything on her own she refused. “There is no need. This is my child. I do not need help. If I need support now at four months what will I do at eight months when I am truly alone? Will I need to hire someone then?”
“Even if we are to be divorced you are pregnant.” he said. “If I did not look after you what kind of man would I be?” Before she could pull away he steadied her with one hand at her waist and the other holding her arm. His movements were surprisingly sure and gentle. She found herself leaning against him and it felt unexpectedly safe. How many times had he done this to become so practiced? The thought crossed her mind and she quickly pushed it away. She should not be feeling curious about him.
“You will not let go?”
“It is only right that I look after you.” he insisted.
“Very well.” She stopped struggling eager to get through this and finalize their divorce. He saw her resolve but said nothing and guided her steadily to the maternity ward. Inside they met the head nurse. Qin Jian kept her composure. Lu Qingshen remained even calmer. He nodded and spoke briefly with her and she led them to the doctor’s office.
“Comrade Qin.” the head nurse said softly as she patted her hand before leaving. “Live well. As women we find our place with our husbands. Do not be too hard on yourself.”
If not for what she had lived through Qin Jian knew Lu Qingshen would have made a good husband. He was an officer with steady pay responsible and from a respectable family. Best of all he lived far from Nan Province far from her own family. That was exactly why she had been so happy when they first married. Yet now she wanted nothing more than to start over on her own. She gave him a quick glare and pressed a hand to her chest mourning the life she had imagined for just three seconds. Then she thought of the little one growing inside her and the chance to live freely in this new life and none of it mattered so much. Happiness waited for her.
“Director Wang would you examine my wife please?” Lu Qingshen helped her into a chair and then caught sight of the bright genuine smile on her face. His heart sank. A feeling of unease settled over him.
“Certainly Comrade Qin.” Director Wang said. “Please give me your hand.” Qin Jian obeyed. The doctor felt her pulse and gave a nod. “Everything looks well. Have you begun to feel morning sickness yet?”
Qin Jian shook her head. “Not really. Only when I smell something I dislike. Even rich smells do not bother me.” That was why she had thought she could keep it from him. There was no visible bump and no sickness. How could he have known?
“That is perfectly normal.” the doctor said. “Not every woman experiences it. It may come later or not at all. Keep taking your medicine and come at once if you notice anything especially bleeding.”
Qin Jian nodded and stroked her belly with great care. “Is there a handbook for expectant mothers?” she asked. She watched Lu Qingshen take it and read it closely. Several times she started to speak but held her tongue. It was not the place to discuss private matters with others nearby. Director Wang prescribed basic prenatal medicines. Lu Qingshen paid the bill without asking her for anything.
Outside the hospital he led her toward the military vehicle waiting at the gate. She stopped him. “Where are you going?”
“Get in and we will talk.” He helped her firmly into the passenger seat.