“…” Having been given a final notice by his wife, Young Master Si was unwilling to face his mother’s endless nagging, so he had no choice but to continue his great work of facing the wall in an empty room. Fortunately, the working system for officials of the Great Yu Dynasty was still quite humane, with two days off every half month.
Young Master Si had been eagerly anticipating his holiday, and it finally arrived. Early in the morning, Si Yiyuan took his wife out. However, at his wife’s request to keep a low profile, the couple dressed very simply and walked out.
Hua Yaoyao had been wanting to go out for a stroll like this for a long time. Ever since she transmigrated and married into the Li family, she had to ride in a carriage every time she went out. She could only listen to the hustle and bustle on the roadside, but she could not even lift the curtain to take a look. It was so suffocating. Now that someone was backing her up and she could finally go out freely, she did not want to ride in a carriage through the streets.
So the two “imposters” strolled hand in hand down the street, sometimes visiting a clothing store to pick out clothes, sometimes visiting a jade shop to choose a jade pendant.
They went to the bookstore to browse and discuss which books were good and which were boring, then bought some street food to feed each other. Their sweet and cloying behavior was enough to blind the titanium alloy eyes of the Li family guards following behind.
They played until noon, then decided to have lunch at Xuanyuan Restaurant. However, they arrived too late, and all the private rooms were full. Unable to resist his wife’s pleading, Si Yiyuan had no choice but to find a quiet corner in the lobby and sit down, beginning his first experience of eating in a restaurant lobby.
Braised pheasant with chestnuts, mixed lettuce, abalone and bird’s nest porridge, rock sugar bird’s nest soup, char siu venison, red date and snow frog soup, fragrant lotus root, auspicious rolls…
The endless stream of delicious food made Hua Yaoyao eat until she could barely lift her head. Seeing her satisfied expression, Si Yiyuan could not help but smile and pat her head. The little woman looked up at the man’s doting smile and laughed too. “What are you doing, giving me a head pat?”
“Head pat?” The term sounded strange. Si Yiyuan looked at the young woman in confusion.
Hua Yaoyao explained, “It’s the way you just patted my head—smiling indulgently, with such tenderness and affection. It makes a woman feel incredibly sweet inside, leaving her with no resistance to you!”
Upon hearing this, Si Yiyuan’s curiosity and amusement sparked. He began patting her head endlessly, acting all affectionate, which left Hua Yaoyao both amused and exasperated. “Hey! It gets boring if you do this too often!”
Hearing this, the man dejectedly lowered his hand, looking disappointed. Hua Yaoyao had no choice but to quietly comfort him. “Alright, husband, it’s a rare date. Don’t let such a small thing affect your mood!”
Si Yiyuan didn’t understand. “A date?” The little woman smiled sweetly and whispered, “It means two people who like each other going shopping, watching a movie, and having a candlelight dinner together!”
“A candlelight dinner?” Another new term. Hua Yaoyao continued to explain, “It means lighting two candles—just the two of us—drinking and having dinner!”
The man was captivated by the scene she described with her string of new words: two people who like each other? A date? Watching a play? A candlelight dinner? It sounded wonderful! Young Master Si was very much looking forward to it!
Next, the couple moved on to the second item on their date itinerary: accompanying his wife to see a play. The two spent the entire afternoon watching The Legend of the White Snake.
This made Hua Yaoyao sigh endlessly. It seemed that no matter the era, The Legend of the White Snake would always be a mainstream story. The kind snake demon, the cowardly husband, and the persistent Fahai followed the same recipe and the same familiar taste.
Si Yiyuan was deeply moved. He had never read The Legend of the White Snake before and never imagined that such an interesting and touching love story existed in folklore. This exclamation earned him a big eye roll from Hua Yaoyao. “As expected of a young master from a wealthy family!”
After returning home from the play, it was time for the candlelight dinner Si Yiyuan had been eagerly anticipating. Hua Yaoyao volunteered to show off her cooking skills to her husband. So the two set up the dining table in the bedroom, lit two red candles, heated two pots of fine wine, and enjoyed a table full of delicious dishes.
Si Yiyuan suddenly felt that this day’s date was truly wonderful. Although it was just a casual stroll, he and his wife chatted and laughed like an ordinary couple, which carried a more genuine taste of life. He could also return home in the evening to enjoy his wife’s cooking. It was simply too perfect.
Seeing the man’s smile grow even gentler, Hua Yaoyao couldn’t help but laugh too. “Why are you smiling so happily?” Si Yiyuan chuckled and said, “I feel so happy with this simple life!” The little woman couldn’t help but giggle as well. “Okay, cheers to our simple and happy life!”
“Cheers!” The man raised his glass and drank it all in one gulp. The two chatted and laughed, eating and drinking, feeling that the night was long and warm, and that the person beside them was beautiful and affectionate. It seemed that as long as they had each other, everything would be alright.
Finally, Hua Yaoyao got drunk. Although she was drunk, she was still somewhat conscious, but her words and actions were completely disordered.
She clung to Si Yiyuan, refusing to let go, mumbling incoherently, “If I weren’t myself, would you still treat me like this? No, right? But I really want to live a good life with you! It’s not like I wanted to come here!”
Si Yiyuan assumed she was talking about a substitute marriage and, fearing her voice might be too loud and alert the servants, hurriedly coaxed her, “Don’t worry—no matter who you are, your husband will love you the same way! Your husband loves you, okay?”
The tipsy woman was coaxed into happiness. “Really? How can you prove it, husband?” The man was amused by her naivety and asked indulgently, “How do you want me to prove it?”
The petite woman brazenly grabbed at the man’s crotch. “Of course I’ll use this to prove it! If you’re not sincere, I’ll cut this off!”
Si Yiyuan stared at the little woman grabbing his crotch with a dark expression. Was this little brat really drunk? How dare she attack and provoke him so boldly! Even an uncle could tolerate it, but an aunt could not!
Feeling looked down upon, the man threw the young woman onto the bed and took off his clothes, intending to prove both his ability and his affection for her. But before he could pounce on her, the young woman burst into tears.
Startled, Si Yiyuan’s previously enthusiastic reaction immediately softened, and he rushed over to cup her face, repeatedly asking, “What’s wrong?”
The young woman cried out in a heart-wrenching sob. “You just threw me on the bed! You hurt me! You don’t love me! You big liar!”
Si Yiyuan was speechless and questioned the heavens. How could this usually gentle and lovely woman reveal such a shrewish and shameless side? A drunk woman was definitely not to be trifled with.
Hua Yaoyao didn’t care that he was speechless; she was drunk, and she was the boss. Clinging to this belief, the drunkard cried even louder.
Si Yiyuan had no choice but to abandon his ideas of her being shrewish and hurriedly tried to coax her. “Husband doesn’t not love you. I didn’t mean it just now. Let me rub it for you, okay?”
The little woman immediately stopped crying, obediently replied “okay” with a sob in her voice, turned around, and presented her soft, tender little bottom to the man.
Si Yiyuan remained silent for a long time, gritted his teeth, and reached out to rub her buttocks. What kind of date was this—a candlelight dinner? It was clearly just asking for trouble.
If the woman he loves is kneeling on the bed with her back to him, offering her bottom to him, he would have no evil thoughts unless he was a eunuch.
Si, a pure man, with a heart full of resentment, coaxed the little woman to sleep. He sighed helplessly at his strong and upright brother, “I’m really sorry—you’ll have to make do with my right hand for the night!”
However, he clearly overestimated the little woman’s alcohol tolerance. That night, Si Yiyuan barely slept. He was first awakened by the heavy limbs draped over his body. When he opened his eyes, he saw that Hua Yaoyao was practically lying on top of him, using both her hands and feet.
Not daring to disturb the sleeping woman, the man struggled to move her limbs aside and drifted off again. But in the middle of the night, he was awakened once more by her groggy voice. “I want some water…”
The man reluctantly got up to pour her water. After she drank most of the tea, the woman turned over and went back to sleep, leaving the man—who had been woken up in the middle of the night—tossing and turning for almost the entire second half of the night until dawn before finally falling asleep.
The next morning, Hua Yaoyao awoke with a groan, her head pounding from the hangover. As soon as she opened her eyes, she felt like even the bed curtains were shaking, as if an earthquake had struck!
After swaying for a long time, the world finally steadied. Hua Yaoyao rubbed her temples to clear her mind. She only remembered drinking alcohol last night and chatting a lot with her husband. She had drunk heavily, but she had no recollection of what she said or did after getting too intoxicated.
Eager to uncover the truth, the little woman unceremoniously shook Si Yiyuan awake from his sleep. “Husband, wake up! I have something to ask you!”
Si Yiyuan was nearly driven mad by her. He pulled the little woman into his arms and grumbled, “You heartless little rascal! You drank so much last night, and I had to take care of you the whole time—bringing you water, covering you with a blanket. Not only did you keep me from resting well, but now you’re waking me up first thing in the morning! I’ll see how I deal with you!”
As he spoke, he pinched the woman’s waist and began tickling her. Hua Yaoyao rolled over and collapsed onto Si Yiyuan, laughing and begging for mercy. “I don’t know anything! I was wrong, my husband! You can keep sleeping! I won’t dare disturb you again!”
The man ripped open the woman’s underwear. “Now you know regret? Too late!” Now that she was sober, she had to take responsibility for her provocations last night. How could a fully awake man let her off so easily!
After thoroughly ravishing the young woman inside and out, Si Yiyuan rose feeling refreshed. He instructed his maid, Lan’er, to prepare a fragrant bath, intending to personally attend to his young mistress as she bathed and changed.
After being thoroughly teased in the bathtub, Hua Yaoyao finally escaped his clutches. Although Young Master Si enjoyed a very satisfying breakfast, the stand-in couple reached a firm consensus: Hua Yaoyao must never touch another drop of alcohol!
Author’s Note: Dating may seem ordinary, but it’s a deeply happy experience for couples!