Qiao Yan stared fixedly at that glaring ID on his screen, “[Mighty Brother Light],” so enraged he nearly crushed his phone.
The dream homestead he had painstakingly tended to for half a year had actually been ruined in-game by Cen Zihao, that hauntingly persistent lapdog of Qiao Yunguang!
He absolutely could not swallow this insult!!!
However, Qiao Yan possessed a healthy amount of self-awareness; his gaming skills were just a tiny bit terrible. In the words of Cao Jingtong, he was a total noob who was nonetheless hopelessly addicted. Aside from building houses, planting flowers, and playing with pets—which he was relatively good at—if it actually came down to open-world PvP or running dungeons, he was basically a walking, talking free point delivery boy.
His two roommates had long since seen through his true colors and had stopped playing games with him ages ago. Jiang Cai had also linked up with him to play this game for a brief period a while back, and her conclusion had been identical: “Yanyan, you are truly only suited for farming in the homestead.”
Sigh, it seems that relying on myself to exact revenge is a hopeless endeavor.
Qiao Yan’s eyes darted around, and a suitable candidate immediately surfaced in his mind—Yan.
He Yanzhou looked like the incredibly capable type. Since he was so devastatingly powerful when fighting in real life, he certainly wouldn’t be bad in a game.
Most importantly of all, if he could actually drag him into playing together, wouldn’t that grant them a ton of opportunities to spend time with one another? Their feelings would heat up, and his pocket money would naturally surge right along with it!
At this thought, Qiao Yan immediately switched over to Moyu.
Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: daddy! Are you there, are you there!! Emergency cry for help QAQ
Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: (Cat crying and rolling around all over the floor.jpg)
Yan didn’t reply very quickly this time; a long while passed before his text popped up.
Yan: ?
Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: Someone is bullying me!! They tore my house down in the game!! It’s an absolute ruin, wahhhh…
Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: (Before-and-after comparison photos of the ruined homestead)
Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: daddy, do you play Dreamy Forest Whispers? Save poor Little Peach-peach, help Little Peach-peach get revenge, pretty please~
Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: (Little cat clinging to your leg.jpg)
When He Yanzhou saw Qiao Yan’s messages, he had just concluded an international conference.
During the meeting, several major shareholders and regional heads had spoken with sharp, biting words, arguing until they were red in the face over the new quarter’s budget and strategic direction; the atmosphere had been on the verge of snapping at any moment. He Yanzhou had suppressed his temper throughout the entire duration, using data and pure decisiveness to forcefully push the agenda forward.
Upon shutting down the conference system, he massaged his throbbing temples. Only then did he spot the emergency cry for help from Little Peach-peach on his phone, accompanied by a string of weeping emojis.
He Yanzhou looked at the two starkly contrasting screenshots on his screen—one a dreamily exquisite cotton-candy cottage, the other a landscape of broken walls and ruins. He Yanzhou then looked back at the crying emoji sent over by Little Peach-peach, feeling a bit amused.
He did indeed know of this game. Jiang Cai seemed to be playing it lately too, talking every single day about words like “farming,” “town-building,” and “healing.” But he himself had never touched it. Childish.
Yan: I don’t play it.
Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: Don’t be like that, daddy! You’re so amazing, whatever game you play, you’ll definitely be a grandmaster! Just accompany me, let’s beat him back together!
Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: We can form a team! Establish an intimate relationship, and from then on, we’ll be the best partners in the game!
Yan: What intimate relationship.
Seeing this single sentence, Qiao Yan’s heart suddenly skipped two beats. The opportunity had arrived!
A flash of inspiration hit him, and a brilliant idea surged into his mind.
That’s right! Previously, I was so preoccupied with acting spoiled to beg for money that we haven’t officially established a relationship yet! The money the old man gives right now is nothing more than a drop in the bucket to him, entirely painless. But starting a cyber-romance relationship is completely different. The old man treats Qiao Yunguang so well; if I become his lover too, wouldn’t that mean…
Qiao Yan could practically see countless glittering gold coins waving at him.
He hurriedly sat up straight, adjusted his posture, and tapped out a line of text, trying his best to make Little Peach-peach’s tone sound a bit more sincere.
Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: An intimate relationship is the kind where we can plant trees and look at the stars together, send flowers to each other, and have a cute little icon next to our names~
Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: daddy, I haven’t told you yet, have I? I think I’ve fallen for you a little bit, and it’s not the kind of thing I just say casually. Even though we haven’t met in person yet, whenever you tutor me on questions, or when you send me money so I won’t go hungry, I always feel that daddy is the gentlest and best person in the entire world!!
Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: So, I’m pursuing you, daddy~
Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: (Little cat shyly covering its face.jpg)
After typing this massive string of text, Qiao Yan shivered first, goosebumps breaking out all over his body, not daring to look at it a second time.
For the sake of gold coins, I’m giving it my all!
He Yanzhou’s side lapsed into an even longer silence.
He stared at this paragraph, particularly the phrase “I’m pursuing you,” his brows arching slightly.
He could practically imagine what kind of expression the girl on the other end of the internet network—wearing a cat-ear headband with bright sparkling eyes—had as she typed out this line.
In all probability, she had dreamed up some wild scheme again, or perhaps she wanted to secure some sort of benefit.
Childish yet direct, it made one want to laugh.
However, he didn’t find it repulsive either. Over the years, his immersion in the arena of wealth and fame had nurtured an arrogance unique to himself; he did not believe the trajectory of any matter could slip from his control, nor was it possible for him to be deceived by a young girl’s clumsy gold-digging rhetoric.
It was merely playing along with her, treating it entirely as a form of pastime.
Just like watching a beautiful, cunning little kitten who self-righteously extended her paw in an attempt to snatch a piece of dried fish from him; because He Yanzhou found the kitten beautiful, he kept her around.
Yan: How many people have you said this line to?
Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: Only daddy alone! I swear!
Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: (Little cat raising its paw to swear.jpg)
Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: I’m serious! Even though I know daddy might look down on me, I’ll work hard! Let’s start by playing games together, okay?
Yan: I have no interest in cyber-romance.
Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: Then we won’t do cyber-romance, we’ll just form a team and be good friends in the game~
Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: daddy will help me get revenge, and in the future, I’ll pay my respects to daddy every single day, tell daddy jokes, and show daddy my new beautiful little dresses!!
Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: (Little cat proudly puffing out its chest.jpg)
Qiao Yan threw caution to the wind. At any rate, taking photos wouldn’t cost him a piece of flesh.
He had already bought a ton of sexy Lolita dresses and maid outfits online just to prepare for unforeseen circumstances.
Seeing the mention of beautiful little dresses, He Yanzhou’s fingertips tapped against the desktop. The sincerity was quite sufficient; he was perfectly willing to play around with Little Peach-peach.
Yan: Account name.
Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: daddy is the best! I’ll wait for you! My game ID is also “Little Peach Bites Super Painfully,” add me daddy! (*￣︶￣)
After sending this, Qiao Yan kicked his legs happily on the bed. Success!
Yan: Free after eleven o’clock tonight.
Qiao Yan had to go work at the pet hospital every afternoon anyway and didn’t have time to link up, plus he was a hardcore night owl who routinely stayed up until three in the morning. Why would he fear eleven o’clock? He typed decisively.
Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: Great, great! daddy, muah muah muah!
Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: Through wind or rain, Little Peach will wait for you!!
Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: (Cat blowing kisses.jpg)
Yan: Mm.
Then, the avatar on the opposite side turned gray.
Eleven o’clock at night.
Qiao Yan had been playing a female character to begin with. After changing his name to “Little Peach Bites Super Painfully,” he kept waiting for He Yanzhou to log on.
He Yanzhou’s efficiency was extremely high. Roughly ten minutes later, likely because the identical name had already been registered by someone else, a level 1 smurf account named “YYYan” appeared in the novice village of Dreamy Forest Whispers.
The character was the system’s default male warrior appearance—tall and cold—looking entirely out of place amidst a crowd of garish, oddly-shaped novice players.
Qiao Yan had long been controlling his character—who wore a pink puffy dress and a massive bow on her head—waiting right there.
Upon spotting YYYan, he immediately sent a team invite, then started circling around him like a joyful little kitten.
[Private Chat] Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: daddy! Over here, over here! I’ll guide you through the novice quests first, it’ll be super fast!
He Yanzhou stared at the hopping, bright-pink little figure on the screen, following along silently.
The novice quests were nothing more than running errands, gathering materials, and killing a few of the lowest-level mobs.
Qiao Yan explained things with vivid animation, yet his actual manipulation was somewhat tragic to behold. Gathering a piece of fruit could result in him falling into a river, fighting a mob nearly resulted in him being counter-killed, and simply walking along a path could cause him to crash into a tree.
[Private Chat] YYYan: …Is this how you usually play?
[Private Chat] Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: Oh my, I’m a lifestyle player, so I’m not very good at all the fighting and killing~ The main focus is the homestead! The homestead! Once it’s repaired later, I’ll show it to daddy!
He Yanzhou silently took over the task of monster-slaying. Although his level was low and his gear was garbage, he was simply far too intelligent, making dealing with the mobs in the novice village an absolute breeze.
Qiao Yan followed behind him to leech experience, landing himself a life of leisure, his heart blooming with joy: Looking at this posture, he’s clearly a growth stock. Revenge is on the horizon!
After completing a few simple gathering and errand quests, they arrived at a tranquil meadow filled with blooming fluorescent flowers. This was a famous landmark in the novice village; the flowers emitted a soft glow at night, making it a favorite spot for many players to take screenshots.
The moment Qiao Yan saw this romantic scenery, the tiny abacus in his heart began to clack rapidly once more.
Following his confession, their relationship seemed to have made a bit of progress, yet it always felt as though it was lacking something.
Wasn’t a game the perfect place to foster feelings?
[Private Chat] Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: daddy, look! The star-glow flowers here are so beautiful! I heard that if you pick them and gift them to someone else, it brings good luck!
[Private Chat] Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: I’m going to pick the brightest and most beautiful flower to gift to daddy!!
Having said that, he manipulated his little pink figure, hopping and skipping as he rushed into the brush toward the fluorescent flower that appeared the brightest, largest, and even possessed a dewdrop effect on its petals.
However, right beside that flower, a level 5 wild piglet tasked with guarding the flower field happened to respawn. This type of passive mob wouldn’t bother anyone as long as players didn’t draw close or attack it.
But Qiao Yan only had eyes for that flower, failing entirely to notice the snorting creature nearby.
With great excitement, he clicked “Gather” on the flower.
The system prompt read: Gathering the Star-Glow Flower requires 3 seconds. Being attacked during this duration will interrupt the process.
Qiao Yan’s character began to execute the animation of bending down to pick the flower.
Almost simultaneously, the nearby wild piglet was startled. A red exclamation mark popped up over its head, and with a loud snort, it charged directly toward Qiao Yan’s character.
Qiao Yan let out an “ah-ya,” frantically trying to cancel the gathering to dodge, yet accidentally hit an action key instead. His character executed an elegant spin in mid-air, missing the optimal window of escape.
Qiao Yan then pressed the attack key, his wand emitting an incredibly weak flash of light that struck the piglet. It was entirely painless, yet it successfully drew aggro.
The exact instant the wild piglet was struck, it let out a sharp squeal and initiated a charge.
The little figure in the pink puffy dress was rammed squarely. Her health bar visibly depleted by a chunk, her gathering action was interrupted, and she fell into a brief stun animation due to taking damage.
The wild pig didn’t care about any of that, immediately following up with another small ram.
[Private Chat] Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: Help me, daddy! The piggy is ramming me!
He Yanzhou stood not far away, watching the bright-pink little figure on his screen being chased by a low-level wild pig, running frantically around the flower field. Her bow was askew, her dress was stained with grass clippings, and from time to time, the character sound effects of “ouch” would trigger as she attempted to whack the wild pig with that wand of hers, which possessed virtually zero attack power—yet she missed every single time.
The scene was highly comical, yet carried a hint of pitiful misery.
The corners of his lips curved upward imperceptibly. Controlling his novice character, he took a few strides forward, landing a precise basic attack squarely on the wild pig. Although the damage wasn’t high, it successfully diverted the pig’s attention.
He moved fluidly, dodging the wild pig’s ram, and followed up with another strike.
After a few slashes, the wild piglet let out a final grunt and collapsed to the ground, dropping a few gold coins.
The crisis was averted.
Only then did Qiao Yan’s character collapse panting to the ground, her health bar left with less than half, looking entirely disheveled.
[Private Chat] Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: Wuuu-wuuu, I almost died… Why is this piggy so fierce!
[Private Chat] Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: I didn’t even get to pick my flower…
His character stood in place with an air of profound grievance, a crying emoji popping up above her head.
He Yanzhou looked at that Star-Glow Flower, which was still swaying perfectly intact in the gentle breeze, and then looked back at this Little Peach-peach beside him, who had been chased into a state of utter disarray by a wild pig just to pick it. A sensation combining helplessness and amusement surged over him.
He manipulated his character to step in front of the flower. This time, he cast a cautious glance around to confirm there were no other wild pigs before clicking to gather.
Three seconds later, the system prompt read: 【You have obtained “Star-Glow Flower (Excellent)”】.
Following that, he walked up to Qiao Yan’s character and sent a trade request.
Qiao Yan blanked out for a moment before clicking accept.
Within the trading interface lay a blue flower emitting a soft starlight radiance, its petals enhanced by an animated dewdrop effect—it was precisely the one he had wanted to pick just now.
[Private Chat] YYYan: For you.
The old man actually understands romance this well!!
Qiao Yan typed furiously, feeling as though he had already sighted the dawn of victory.
Speak! Old man, have you already fallen madly in love with the beautiful Peach-peach?!!
[Private Chat] Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: !!! daddy!
[Private Chat] Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: (A massive pink heart emoji pops up above the character’s head)
[Private Chat] Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: Is this a gift for me?
[Private Chat] YYYan: Mm.
[Private Chat] Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: Thank you, daddy! daddy is the best! I’m going to save this flower forever!
[Private Chat] Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: But actually, I wanted to pick it to gift to you, daddy~
[Private Chat] Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: Look, the scenery here is so beautiful, and the flowers are so pretty. Just like my feelings for you, daddy!
[Private Chat] Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: Even though I’m clumsy and can’t even pick a flower right, and even get chased by pigs, my desire to treat you well is completely real!
[Private Chat] Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: (The character executes a shy, fidgeting animation.jpg)
He Yanzhou looked at this string of words, then looked back at the pink-skirted little figure on his screen who had been in an utter mess just a moment ago, yet was now holding the flower and confessing her feelings with absolute sincerity.
The moonlight spilled across the meadow, casting a soft filter over everything, to the point where even the wild pig carcass lying on the ground didn’t seem quite so jarring anymore.
Little troublemaker.
[Private Chat] YYYan: Since you wanted it, it’s yours.
[Private Chat] YYYan: Continue leveling up.
[Private Chat] Little Peach Bites Super Painfully: Mm-mm! I’ll listen to whatever daddy says! Let’s go slay monsters quickly! I want to grow strong fast so I can protect daddy in the future!
The pink little figure regained her vitality, clutching the fluorescent flower as she cheerfully trailed behind He Yanzhou’s novice character.
It wasn’t until they arrived right at the entrance of Qiao Yan’s homestead that they suddenly spotted a noisy crowd of people gathered before the gate.
At the head of the crowd stood a Berserker named “[Mighty Brother Light]” and an Elf Priest named “[Light Light Blossom].”
It was Cen Zihao and Qiao Yunguang.