Сhарtеr 8: Why… Cоuld Не Nоt
Аfter that farеwеll, Gu Changсe follоwеd his fаthеr tо Yаnmen.
Тhе bоrderlаnds werе remotе аnd desоlatе.
Не remаinеd in this plасе fоr twо full уеars.
Рroud аnd sрirited in his youth, having bеen rеjeсtеd bу Shеn Zuihuan that dаy,
Hе sесrеtly vоwed in his hеart to fоrgеt this wоmаn in thе future.
Yеt, every timе hе аwоkе from midnight dreams, hе соuld not hеlp but think оf her cоld аnd indiffеrеnt demeаnоr.
At that timе, he was still аn оrdinаrу soldiеr.
Нe ate and lived with his comrаdes in thе саmр.
Тhe mеn had loosе tonguеs, oftеn spеaking vulgar words day in and day out.
Inevitably, some words would linger in his mind, and at night, facing the damp and sticky bedding, he would feel both shame and frustration.
In the middle of the fourth year of Yuanshou,
It had been half a year since he left the capital.
In the end, he could not resist and wrote his first letter to Shen Zuihuan after his departure.
After enduring the most anxious and restless days,
He did not receive a reply from Shen Zuihuan.
He suspected the letter had not been delivered.
Perhaps it was stuck at some border post station.
…How could Shen Zuihuan not reply to his letter?
…After all, they had known each other for so many years, even if…
So he sent out the second, the third, the fourth…
In just two short years, the letters he sent amounted to about three fingers thick.
All without a single response.
That day, Gu Changce, with a cold expression, ran to the mass grave behind the camp.
He locked all the jade interlocking rings he had prepared to give to Shen Zuihuan into a small wooden box.
Buried it in a small mound of earth.
But at night, he dug it up again like a madman.
With red eyes, he carried the small wooden box back to his tent.
He thought that with the passage of time, he would eventually forget Shen Zuihuan one day.
However, in the fifth year of Yuanshou, after winning a battle at the border and killing the Xiongnu’s Chanyu Junchen,
He learned from his father that Wei Xianyù and Shen Zuihuan were preparing to formally announce their engagement, and he went mad.
He was, after all, unwilling…
They were both childhood friends.
Why could Wei Xianyù have her, but he could not.
Shen Zuihuan liked gentle and refined men; he could also be very gentle to her.
Shen Zuihuan liked men who wore white clothes; he could also wear white clothes for her to see every day.
Why… could he not!
In the fifth year of Yuanshou, Gu Changce finally did what he had most wanted to do in his life.
It was also something he would regret every time he thought of it in the years to come.
He used his military achievements to exchange for an imperial decree of marriage, forcibly tearing apart a perfect couple…
Shen Zuihuan slept for a long time.
When she woke, the sun was already setting in the west.
Qiu Yan was guarding at the moon gate, having just replaced the incense tablets in the burner.
Faint, wispy trails of fragrant smoke drifted out.
Qiu Yan turned around and saw her mistress staring blankly ahead.
She hurried over to attend to her.
Asked, “How is Madam feeling now?”
Shen Zuihuan rubbed her still slightly throbbing forehead with her slender, pale fingers.
Her voice was faint: “Much better.”
Qiu Yan asked again, “Shall I have the meal served?”
Shen Zuihuan had not eaten anything all day, and Qiu Yan was deeply worried.
But the person on the bed merely pondered for a moment before slowly asking, “Where are Tangtang and… my husband now?”
Perhaps because of her memory loss, since she last woke up, she had always felt anxious and unsettled.
Or perhaps because she had known Gu Changce since childhood.
Seeing him would slightly ease the panic in her heart.
Upon hearing the word “husband,”
The originally tense and anxious expression on Qiu Yan’s face froze for a brief moment.In the past, she had never heard her own young mistress address the master in such a manner.
If they weren’t at each other’s throats, it was already considered good.
Forcing herself to remain calm, she pursed her lips and replied, “He should be dining at Jade Dew Hall.”
Shen Zuihuan’s eyes flickered slightly as she rose from the couch and straightened up.
She said to Qiu Yan, “Then let us go to Jade Dew Hall as well.”
Qiu Yan was momentarily taken aback before nodding in agreement.
She helped Shen Zuihuan change into a sparrow-blue brocade quju robe.
Then, supporting Shen Zuihuan’s hand, they made their way to Jade Dew Hall.
By then, dusk had settled, dark and starless.
Lanterns were lit throughout the estate.
The two followed a small path until they reached the entrance of Jade Dew Hall.
Shen Zuihuan immediately noticed an unusual silence inside.
She found it strange, thinking to herself that Gu Changce was not a man of few words.
Although his appearance did not suggest he was talkative,
during their time as classmates,
his mouth never seemed to stop from morning till night.
In just three short years, he had practically recounted every single event from his birth up to the age of seventeen.
Standing before the door of Jade Dew Hall, she hesitated for a moment before finally pushing it open.
Inside, she saw father and daughter sitting rigidly upright on opposite sides of a rosewood Eight Immortals table, separated by a considerable distance.
Both wore heavy, sullen expressions, as if neither wished to acknowledge the other.
Shen Zuihuan raised an eyebrow.
What? Had they had a falling out?
Yet the moment she pushed the door open, both pairs of eyes lit up in perfect synchrony.
Truly, they were father and daughter.
Gu Changce stared at her blankly, seemingly taken aback that she had come to Jade Dew Hall to dine with them.
In contrast, Gu Tang was clever and endearing.
She leaped down from her carved square stool with three-curved legs and, with her short little legs scurrying, swiftly threw herself into Shen Zuihuan’s arms.
“Mother! Did you come to have dinner with Tangtang?”
As she spoke, she nuzzled gently against her.
Who could resist such affection?
Shen Zuihuan felt her heart melt instantly.
Unable to help herself, she reached out and pinched the little girl’s soft, fair cheek.
Then, taking Gu Tang’s hand, she seated herself beside her—right between father and daughter.
No sooner had she sat down than Gu Tang eagerly motioned for a maid to set out bowls and plates for her.
Immediately after, as if the food cost nothing, she began piling dishes into Shen Zuihuan’s bowl.
As she served, she chirped, “Mother, eat more. You’ve just recovered from a serious illness and need to nourish yourself properly.”
Here she was, a grown “woman,” yet being fussed over by a child.
Shen Zuihuan felt a twinge of embarrassment.
After a pause, she picked up the serving chopsticks and placed a piece of xiaotiansu (a crispy pastry) into Gu Tang’s bowl.
She had noticed that the portion of xiaotiansu facing the little girl had clearly been picked at quite a bit.
Thinking the child must be fond of it, she served her some.
The moment the xiaotiansu landed in Gu Tang’s bowl,
the little girl’s eyes instantly welled up with tears of gratitude.
In a sweet, sticky voice, she cooed, “Mother~”
Where she had learned such skill in acting cute was anyone’s guess.
A tender smile instantly spread across Shen Zuihuan’s lips.
It was then that she suddenly noticed the man beside her was unusually quiet.
Turning her head, she saw Gu Changce with his eyes lowered, quietly eating plain rice from his bowl.
His brow was slightly furrowed.
Shen Zuihuan bit her lip, thinking that since she had served Gu Tang, it wouldn’t be fair to show favoritism.
After a moment’s hesitation, she used the serving chopsticks again to place a piece of deep-fried quail into his dish.
The man, who had been wearing a stern expression, immediately lifted his eyes.
—The grown-up Gu Changce was not quite the same as he had been in his youth.Shen Zuihuan thought to herself, he didn’t look approachable at all.
When he lifted those dark eyes, deep and still as an ancient well, to look at her, she felt an overwhelming sense of unfamiliarity.
Under her gaze, Shen Zuihuan felt as though needles were pricking her back.
She could only steel herself and force out a soft, delicate voice from the depths of her throat: “Husband, you should eat too…”
Hearing the word “husband,” a tingling sensation immediately rose from the base of his spine.