Gu Daosheng’s skin crawled. He waved a hand at the shadow. “…Fine. See you tomorrow.”
As soon as the door closed, he asked the Ghost Infant, “Do you think he’s human?”
The Ghost Infant had met Lou Hongchen before and answered with certainty, “He is.”
Gu Daosheng muttered, “He seems to have a point. If he’s my lover, why would he marry Lou Guangrui?”
“You’re asking me about his private affairs? Have I been sleeping under your bed?”
Gu Daosheng scoffed, mocking the Ghost Infant, “If he’s human, why are you so scared of him? You were bawling your eyes out.”
The Ghost Infant let go of Gu Daosheng’s arm and threw himself to the floor in a rage. Thud. “Can’t ghosts be afraid of humans?! Normally, we’re the ones who are afraid of you. Your yang energy is so strong! Just getting close can burn a ghost to death.”
Gu Daosheng turned on every light in the apartment. The memory of Lou Hongchen’s sudden return late at night sent a chill down his spine.
The living room door was clearly shut, yet he couldn’t shake the feeling of eyes watching him from behind.
He spun around abruptly, but there was nothing there.
Only the newly replaced mirror in the hallway guarded the space behind the door. As Gu Daosheng passed by, it reflected his tall, elegant silhouette.
“You’re scared, aren’t you?” the Ghost Infant asked from the floor, his talisman nearly burnt away.
“What a joke. I’m a Heavenly Master.” Gu Daosheng reached behind his back, a yellow talisman appearing between his fingers. He slapped it right onto the Ghost Infant’s forehead, and the paper vanished into thin air. “For example, you’re never escaping me a third time.”
Ghost Infant: “…”
“Oh.” Gu Daosheng’s face lit up as if he’d just realized something, and he laughed without a care in the world. “Ten people died? Ten wives? That means I can catch ten ghosts all at once!”
The credit from ten ghosts… he’d be laughing in his sleep tonight.
The Ghost Infant stared at him in horror. “You’ve gone mad the moment you married in! Do you have a heart? They’re all dead, yet all you care about is your own credit! You scum!”
“I didn’t kill them,” Gu Daosheng said, sounding completely bewildered. “I’m taking them back so my Master can perform liberation for them. That’s clearly a good thing. As for you, little fierce ghost, I won’t bother with liberation; I’ll just refine you directly.”
The little fierce ghost rolled over on the spot, curling himself into a ball to put some distance between himself and Gu Daosheng. “Your Master is nothing like you. He would never use his public authority to settle a private grudge.”
“Ha! Who are you saying wouldn’t use his public authority to settle a private grudge? My Master?” Gu Daosheng seethed. He still remembered the incident with the short-sighted Zhuang Zheng, his Master, who had judged him for desecrating the Ghost Infant’s grave and then scared him half to death.
Zhuang Zheng had absolutely used his public authority to settle a private grudge that day because Gu Daosheng hadn’t drawn his talismans properly, too busy thinking about playing.
Hearing this, Gu Daosheng laughed in sheer frustration. “You’re talking like he’s your Master and not mine. Who knows him better, you or me? My Master even told me not to stoop to your level, to spare your ghost life. And didn’t I chase you around like a little puppy on my first day down the mountain?”
The Ghost Infant rolled his eyes. “You were the one being played like a monkey, alright?”
“I’m stuffing you into the ghost-binding bag right now.”
“You don’t need me to provide you with information anymore? I’ve lived here for several years, you know.” The Ghost Infant raised his bottom and wriggled forward on the floor, his body alternately shortening and lengthening. He blinked his large eyes and said, “Are you sure you really don’t need me? Master.”
Gu Daosheng: “…”
Gu Daosheng asked with a strange expression, “What kind of ‘Master’? Are you sick in the head?”
Ghost Infant: “…”
“Didn’t I say that as long as you don’t send me to Lou Hongchen, I’ll be your loyal servant? That’s what I meant, obviously!” Ghost Infant froze in confusion for a moment, then cursed with a face twisted in disgust, “How can a Mountain Person like you be so filthy! You… pervert!”
“…I’ve read too many novels,” Gu Daosheng muttered in a tiny voice, his face flushing with shame. It wasn’t something to be proud of.
But he couldn’t be blamed for this. It was all because of the books Zhuang Zheng brought back every time he traveled down the mountain.
He’d always brought them without even checking what they were.
It was clear that Zhuang Zheng wasn’t a decent person either; he was completely irresponsible.
Since the age of sixteen, Gu Daosheng had been tragically corrupted by these novels, firmly believing that men were meant to play with other men.
Not just play with them, but play with lots of them.
He was utterly unlearned. If you asked him how many characters he could recognize, the answer was: “A countable amount.” But when it came to novels, he knew a vast amount, ranging from Intergalactic Marshals and twins to rural ger and three rough men. His tastes were wildly eclectic.
Mortals sure know how to write. Hardly any of their stories are decent.
When his Master wasn’t absent, he was in secluded cultivation. When he was absent, he was simply gone. He had paid no attention to his disciple’s mental and physical health, nor to the fact that his romantic views had been warped beyond recognition. By the time he noticed, it was too late.
Ultimately, not knowing how to correct him, he had to settle for telling his disciple: “Play around with a few more men after you go down the mountain.”
Gu Daosheng carried the Ghost Infant up to the second floor. Seeing the bed in the bedroom, he casually tossed the Ghost Infant onto the foot of the bed and shared a corner of the blanket with him.
Fearing the Ghost Infant would ask more questions without tact, he closed his eyes and went to sleep.
He hoped to dream of the reason why “Gu Daosheng” had married Lou Guangrui.
Ghost Infant: “I don’t need to sleep.”
Gu Daosheng: “Sleep if you want, shut up if you don’t.”
He threw a talisman, and invisible chains bound the Ghost Infant’s hands and feet.
Ghost Infant: “…I won’t run. I keep my word.”
Gu Daosheng didn’t believe him: “Hah.”
The past two days hadn’t been busy; they’d spent almost all their time in the same place, but it had been incredibly draining on his mind and emotions. His habit of resting at sunset had been disrupted. Gu Daosheng felt mentally exhausted; after a quick wash, he collapsed onto the bed, instantly overcome by drowsiness.
I’ll deal with the rest tomorrow, Gu Daosheng thought. I’ll draw a Ghost-Spitting-Truth Talisman then, so the little ghost can’t lie to me.
“Little ghost, what’s your name?” Gu Daosheng asked, his eyes closed.
The Ghost Infant swung his little feet. “Nan Ying.”
“Male infant? So you’re proving you’re both male and an infant?” Gu Daosheng said. “That’s a terrible name. How about Nan from Southeast? Let’s call you Nan Ying.”
Nan Ying’s face turned a sickly shade of gray. “…”
He muttered, “You’re crazy.”
The crazy man was exhausted, but he pressed on. “How many years have you been dead?”
“Um…” Nan Ying thought for a moment. He tried turning his normal black pupils white again, switching back to his Underworld Eye, but it didn’t help. It seemed that whether in his normal form or his Underworld form, his lack of education was painfully obvious. With no other choice, he returned to the basics and began counting on his fingers, one year at a time, with absolute, single-minded focus.
“One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve…”
Gu Daosheng vaguely heard Nan Ying counting one by one. When he reached twelve, Gu Daosheng’s mind stirred slightly.
The Ghost Infant counted so slowly that the effect was incredibly hypnotic. Gu Daosheng fell fast asleep, slumbering deeply without a single dream.
“…two thousand nine hundred ninety… two thousand nine hundred ninety-seven, two thousand nine hundred ninety-eight, two thousand nine hundred ninety-nine… three thousand!”
The moment the words fell, Gu Daosheng’s eyes snapped open. He sat up straight, his gaze clear and sharp.
“I’ve been dead for three thousand years!” Nan Ying announced happily, having spent the entire night counting.
Gu Daosheng had no time for his nonsense. He leaped from the bed and rushed downstairs.
Instead of the thud-thud-thud of footsteps on the stairs, he simply gripped the railing and vaulted directly to the first floor.
“Where are you going?” Nan Ying shouted.
“Your kind has arrived.”
“Take me with you! I can’t move!”
Gu Daosheng pressed his index and middle fingers together, hooking them forward like he was summoning a magical artifact.
The talismans binding the Ghost Infant’s limbs rustled into view, peeling off one by one. Nan Ying flew into Gu Daosheng’s hand with a whoosh, only to be hoisted by his collar and left dangling, swinging back and forth.
“Mr. Ghost Heaven Doll,” said Nan Ying, “Put me down; I won’t run.”
Gu Daosheng’s expression remained grim. With a sharp wave and a tug of his hand, he flung the door open.
Whoosh! A gust of yin wind, strong enough to sweep a person away, poured into the room. Gu Daosheng narrowed his eyes and stepped out into the gale.
A sliver of pale blue-white light was breaking over the horizon; dawn would arrive shortly.
The Lou Family truly had “excellent feng shui.” Even ghosts dared to roam in broad daylight, living just like humans, active by day and resting by night.
Nan Ying’s gaze drifted upward, sweeping from bottom to top over Gu Daosheng’s superior features. His nose was so high it could kill someone. This angle made him feel utterly humiliated; he was bullying a ghost too much.
He struggled to move his limbs, crawling up to the top of Gu Daosheng’s head, reverting to his role as a ghost and becoming a little ghost-hat for him. “How did you know a ghost was coming?”
“I laid down over a hundred talismans in the courtyard during the day. Even if a kitten’s ghost lightly brushed its little tail against my courtyard gate, I’d know.” Gu Daosheng’s expression was dead serious, but his tone was incredibly smug.
The little ghost was covered in talismans, so he couldn’t escape easily. If he wanted to seek revenge, his only option was to crawl onto Gu Daosheng’s head and “act the tyrant.” Let him crawl.
He didn’t weigh a thing, anyway.
“No biting my head. Ghosts don’t have saliva, so no biting,” Gu Daosheng warned.
Nan Ying silently shut his mouth, ceased his biting, and grabbed Gu Daosheng’s hair with both hands, pressing his chin against the top of Gu Daosheng’s head to secure himself. “When Lou Hongchen was helping you clean up, you did nothing but pace around the courtyard. Were you placing talismans back then?”
This was the Ghost Origin Land, a place that exuded ominous energy from every corner. Enclosing the courtyard with a magic array was merely adding a layer of protection. At the time, Gu Daosheng hadn’t expected all ten of the Lou Family’s wives to be dead, nor had he expected ghosts to actually show up.
This was the reward for preparing for a rainy day.
Gu Daosheng’s voice trailed off as he said, “Isn’t that right…”
“Hee hee… ha ha…” A child’s laughter suddenly rang out in the yin wind, cutting short the smile that had just begun to spread across Gu Daosheng’s face, ruthlessly diverting it.
Then, a small figure with a smiling face turned the corner at the entrance and ran into the courtyard.
He held a paper windmill in his hand, which spun with a “whoosh whoosh whoosh” as he quickly ran up to Gu Daosheng.
The child appeared to be about two years old.
He wore open-crotch pants.
Gu Daosheng’s breath hitched.
“Step-mom, you’re my twelfth step-mom.” The child stopped, standing still in front of Gu Daosheng. He looked up and asked in the most innocent tone, “When are you going to die?”
Gu Daosheng let out a sharp exhale.
Nan Ying said, “He’s cursing you to death, so why did you just breathe a sigh of relief?”
Gu Daosheng replied, “He’s a human. He’s not scary.”
“Then… why did you suddenly get so serious?” Nan Ying couldn’t understand Gu Daosheng anymore. Staring at his suddenly tense expression, Nan Ying himself grew nervous.
“The one behind him is a ghost.”
“Aren’t you a Heavenly Master?”
Gu Daosheng said, pretending not to be afraid, “I’m scared.”
“Then why did you still come out?!” Nan Ying asked, his voice laced with horror.
“I have a quota of one hundred ghosts to meet.”
I have to see them all eventually.
Seeing that the situation was dire and this Heavenly Master was completely unreliable, Nan Ying slipped down from Gu Daosheng’s head and hid behind his back, refusing to show his face.
Indeed, several female figures were trailing the human child. In the morning mist, their forms gradually materialized, each one young, beautiful, and graceful. The oldest among them appeared to be no more than twenty-five.
They had all died far too young.
The thin mist was a hazy gray, reminiscent of the veil between life and death or the fading consciousness of the dying. Yet the figures in their qipaos seemed to coalesce into solid forms, dispelling the fog and brightening the world as if they had never died.
The women laughed incessantly, chasing the child with eager gestures. “Xiao Mingzhang, slow down! Don’t trip. Come here to Second Mother. Why don’t you go play with Big Brother for a while? He’s too good at hide-and-seek; I can’t find him anywhere, only you can.”
“What’s all this playing for? We told you to stop bothering him so much. Mingzhang is still young; how can he withstand our yin energy? When Miss Eleven arrives, she’ll give you all a piece of her mind.”
“Haha, Sister Eleven is actually hoping we’ll come. Little Mingzhang, don’t listen to Third Mother’s nonsense, and don’t go looking for Second Mother either. Come play with Sixth Mother! Sister is also really looking forward to being with you. You can find her too, can’t you?”
Nine women had arrived. Although Gu Daosheng had never seen the First Madam and didn’t know what she looked like, his intuition told him that Lou Junlian was not among them.
The child named Mingzhang was terribly thin, little more than skin and bones. His face was frighteningly pale in the morning light, a common sign of being frequently haunted by ghosts. Yet these madams, who claimed to love him and wanted to play with him, knew they were ghosts and still came to make the child sick.
Lou Mingzhang was playing with them, calling out their names from Second Mother all the way to Tenth Mother.
They chimed in one after another, responding sweetly. Only after they had said their fill did they seem to notice Gu Daosheng’s presence for the first time, slowly lifting their eyelids to scrutinize him.
Finally, one of the female ghosts locked eyes with Gu Daosheng.
“Eh? Oh my god! He’s looking right at me! He can see me,” the ghost said.
Gu Daosheng: “…”
“Why aren’t you afraid? Why aren’t you running away? Hmm?” the ghost asked, her curiosity piqued. “Are you even human?”
“Of course I’m human,” Gu Daosheng replied, his hand concealed behind his back, gripping several offensive talismans. He had his ghost-binding bag ready as well, staring defiantly at the nine women. “I’m not afraid of ghosts.”
If they make a move, I won’t hold back, he thought.
“Not afraid of ghosts? That means you like them, then. Tell me, do you like me, little one?” The female ghost cradled her face in her hands, her slender, pale fingers fanning out like a blooming flower.
“Hmph. A man can really be this handsome?” The woman calling herself Second Mother, her face a picture of bewitching beauty, flashed her red-painted nails. Her voice was polite and gentle, yet laced with lethal intent. “Little beauty, do you want to die soon, or later?”
As her words fell, another female ghost suddenly sniffed the air. She let out a soft, flirtatious giggle, her eyes shimmering with ambiguity as she gazed at Gu Daosheng.
“Young Master Twelve, why don’t you smell like that old bastard Lou Guangrui? Instead, you’re covered in the perverted scent Lou Hongchen left behind. Did he ‘eat’ you?”
“He’s still in your room.”