The willful, sharp-tongued, maddening top idol actually looked so focused when he kept quiet.
After a while, the young man whose gaze was still fixed on the movie slowly spoke.
“From the moment I entered, I was actually wondering what exactly you were trying to do.”
“Now I finally understand…”
Moving into Yin Liuguang’s house.
Sleeping in the same bed as Yin Liuguang.
Starting a new life in a new home by preparing a grand meal.
After eating, the two of them leaning against each other on the living room sofa while watching an old movie—
All of these.
Every single one.
Had once been Yan Mo’s wishes.
They were the wishes of the young man who had once loved Yin Liuguang.
Yan Mo turned his head and met Yin Liuguang’s eyes.
“But Liuguang, those are no longer my wishes now.”
“…Then what are your wishes now?”
After a moment of silence, Yin Liuguang asked.
“Right now, I only want to live alone.”
“It must have taken a lot of effort to find all these things, right? After all, you never really paid attention to what I liked or disliked before.”
Yan Mo turned back to look at the movie playing on the screen.
“Sometimes, the more someone tries to make up for things, the more it reminds the other person of all the wishes that were never fulfilled, and all the unhappy moments from the past.”
That person had wanted to move into his boyfriend’s home.
But his boyfriend refused.
“No way. So annoying.”
The boy rolled his eyes and said to the young man,
“You nag like my mom. I don’t want to live with you!”
That person had shyly wanted to sleep in the same bed as his boyfriend.
His boyfriend refused.
“Who wants to sleep in the same bed as an ugly person?”
“You weren’t thinking about that kind of thing, were you? Ew~ Yan Mo, you’re disgusting.”
That person had carefully prepared a grand meal at home.
Because it was his birthday.
After begging for a long time, his boyfriend had finally agreed to come back and spend the day with him.
Because of that, he had excitedly sent his boyfriend a very, very long message.
He talked about where he learned the new dishes.
How difficult it had been to order fresh ingredients.
How he had found a classic old movie in a secondhand shop.
He remembered that his boyfriend liked that director.
But his boyfriend stood him up.
“Because I’m tired.”
“I filmed all day, and now I’d have to take a car back to X City at night just to celebrate your birthday? Just thinking about it is exhausting. I don’t want to.”
“The dinner will go to waste? Tch. How much did it cost? I sent you a red envelope. That’s it. Hanging up.”
“…”
“…”
That person was so pitiful.
How had he been so foolish?
So stupid.
Why hadn’t he understood that someone who disappointed you once would only disappoint you even more the next time?
That someone who said sorry to you would only say sorry again next time?
Yan Mo raised his hand and patted Yin Liuguang’s head.
He saw the other freeze for a second, then a hint of slyness and surprise flashed in his eyes.
Yan Mo could guess it.
Beneath Yin Liuguang’s obedient exterior, there was still contempt and disdain for him.
He was probably thinking that Yan Mo was still just as easy to coax as before.
That as long as he acted intimate, added a little performance, and took out things from the past to make up for them, Yan Mo would be moved and easily handled.
But the fact that Yin Liuguang wasn’t even willing to put much effort into acting proved that what had happened back then wasn’t entirely someone else’s fault.
It was also the fault of Yan Mo, who had placed no boundaries on Yin Liuguang.
Looking at Yin Liuguang, Yan Mo suddenly felt a trace of disgust toward his past self.
“Liuguang.”
“I’m afraid I can’t forgive you anymore.”
“…”
“…”
The surprise shattered instantly.
Shock appeared on that beautiful face.
“Why…”
Yin Liuguang frowned at Yan Mo.
He had clearly apologized.
He had clearly fulfilled the things Yan Mo had once wanted but never received.
Why was it still not enough?
He thought Yan Mo would be moved after seeing all this.
Yin Liuguang couldn’t understand it.
His brows furrowed tightly.
“Is being with me bad?”
“When I was unknown, you were willing to stay by my side. No matter how I drove you away, you wouldn’t leave.”
“Now that I’m famous and successful, why do you want to stay so far away from me?”
Yin Liuguang had lived a smooth life.
With only a little effort, he could far surpass others.
Since childhood, he had been pursued and admired.
He could easily obtain other people’s sincerity.
So he could not understand Yan Mo’s logic.
As long as Yan Mo agreed to be with him, Yan Mo could gain so many benefits.
Yin Liuguang felt Yan Mo had no reason to refuse.
If he refused, it simply meant Yin Liuguang hadn’t offered enough.
“Do you want to make it public?”
Although he was somewhat unwilling, seeing that the young man insisted on not staying, Yin Liuguang dropped the romantic act from earlier and pouted.
“If you want that, fine. I agree.”
“That’s not it.”
Yan Mo sighed.
Although Yin Liuguang was a genius, in Yan Mo’s eyes, his heart was still that of a boy who didn’t understand love.
Perhaps after Yan Mo left, he had vaguely begun to understand some things.
But to Yan Mo, most of it was simply habit and dependence.
“Liuguang, you don’t understand what liking someone means at all.”
Looking at Yin Liuguang’s darkened expression, he said softly,
“A relationship meant to last a lifetime isn’t something so simple.”
“Hah? There’s something in this world I don’t understand?”
Yin Liuguang’s eyebrows nearly shot into the sky.
He rolled his eyes and restrained his temper.
“Fine. If I don’t understand, then I’ll slowly learn. If enough time passes, maybe I’ll understand eventually~”
“No.”
“Why is that still not okay?”
“Because I don’t want to exchange my entire life for your ‘maybe.’”
“…”
Yan Mo frowned.
“This matter was never about whether you were willing.”
“It’s about me not being willing.”
“This world isn’t a place where you can get whatever you want.”
“Just like the things you did to me in the past.”
“You’re very smart.”
“You clearly knew that if you kept ignoring and mocking me, you would lose me.”
“But you never changed.”
“You clearly knew that you could easily control my happiness and sadness.”
“But you deliberately refused to let me be happy.”
“Whether in the past or now, you have never cared about my thoughts.”
“Do you know why?”
“…”
The beautiful top idol widened his eyes, speechless.
The young man before him, who had always given him the tolerance of an older brother and the gentleness of a lover, looked at him with eyes that were sharp and aggressive for the first time.
“Because it was my love that gave you the right to be so reckless.”
Once I no longer love you—
You no longer have that right.
Why should I turn back just because you all admit you were wrong?
I’m not a toy.
I hurt too!
Don’t I have the right to choose?
Yan Mo felt deeply absurd.
How exactly did these people manage to be both affectionate and cruel at the same time?
Two days later, Cheng-ge came to pick Yin Liuguang up for work.
Before entering, he took two blood pressure pills.
After mentally preparing himself, he finally rang the doorbell.
He prayed that the moment the door opened, he wouldn’t witness some disaster caused by his little ancestor.
What if Yan Mo insisted on calling the police?
Could money suppress it?
Cheng-ge wiped his face in agony.
But he never expected that the person who opened the door would be Yin Liuguang.
This little ancestor usually delayed on purpose every time they had to go out.
How could he come open the door so quickly?
His top-tier beauty looked much more haggard.
Yin Liuguang wore a loose black T-shirt and shorts.
One hand rested on his waist while the other grabbed his messy silver hair.
His expression was dark.
The shadows beneath his eyes were extremely obvious.
His youthful face and tall body stood in the dim entryway, looking so gloomy that Cheng-ge’s heart tightened.
Why did Yin Liuguang look like this?
Where was Yan Mo?
Could it be…
Cheng-ge carefully stared at him and swallowed.
Clutching his fragile little heart, he asked shakily,
“Liuguang… you didn’t… you didn’t hurt Xiao Yan, did you?”
“Where is he?”
Had he locked him up?
Or killed him and hidden the body?
Yin Liuguang could guess what Cheng-ge was imagining from his expression alone.
He clicked his tongue impatiently and rolled his eyes.
“You’re so annoying.”
“If you keep imagining nonsense, you’ll go bald in the middle, Xiao Chengzi.”
“Have some respect. Call me Cheng-ge.”
Cheng-ge scolded him, then craned his neck to look inside.
“Where’s Xiao Yan?”
Yin Liuguang was so angry at his suspicious expression that he laughed, then turned around and walked away.
Cheng-ge was long used to his bad temper.
He changed shoes and followed him in.
As soon as he reached the living room, he happened to meet the young man carrying soup out.
The two froze for a moment.
Then the young man immediately curved his eyes gently.
The tiny red mole at the corner of his eye moved with his smile, making him look especially warm.
“You arrived just in time for breakfast.”
“Have you eaten, Cheng-ge?”
“Come eat with us.”
“Ah? Oh, well…”
Cheng-ge had never expected this scene.
Only after Yin Liuguang had already sat down at the dining table did he dazedly follow.
Watching Yan Mo put down the final dish, he felt deeply uncertain.
But on the surface, he quickly smiled.
“I really didn’t eat this morning. Then I’ll shamelessly have a bite, haha.”