It was around the first watch when the drizzle finally stopped.
With a bamboo basket strapped to her back, Su Ying walked through the dim, muddy alley and stopped outside the gate of a dilapidated courtyard at its far end.
She was about to knock when she noticed that the wooden gate was unlatched, hanging open by a narrow crack.
She raised a hand and pushed it open.
In the faint moonlight, someone lay sprawled across the wet bluestone paving in the courtyard.
His coarse blue shirt was so filthy that its original color could no longer be made out. Most of the blood had been washed away by the rain, revealing a face mottled with purple bruises.
Hearing the gate open, the boy lying on the ground laboriously raised a hand and weakly shielded his eyes.
Su Ying merely glanced at him before heading inside.
After drinking half a bowl of cold water, she did not rest for even a moment. She emptied the medicinal herbs from her basket beneath the porch, sat down on a low stool, and used the moonlight to carefully clean the dirt from their roots and stems before sorting them into separate piles against the wall.
When she had finished, Su Ying did not look toward Pei Xiu, who still lay in the courtyard. She washed up, carried two buckets of water inside, and poured them into the tub.
She took out a slightly worn moon-white Daoist robe and draped it over the edge of the tub, then went to sleep.
After a long while, rustling sounds came from the courtyard.
Pei Xiu swayed on his feet, moving with painfully slow steps. His pair of extraordinarily beautiful eyes held not the slightest spark of life.
Anyone could tell at a glance that he was blind.
The white cane made from a thick branch had been broken and thrown into a corner.
Pei Xiu could only use his toes to feel out the location of the stone steps and threshold. Along the way, he fell twice more.
By the time he had removed his filthy, rain-soaked clothes and lowered his aching body into the tub, the watchman’s drum announcing the third watch was already sounding faintly in the distance.
His pampered, delicate skin was covered in bruises.
He seemed not to notice. Picking up the soft cloth beside the tub, he scrubbed his body with an almost self-tormenting force.
Still carrying the chill of the night, Pei Xiu groped his way to the bedside, only to unexpectedly touch a lock of hair that had not yet lost its warmth and moisture.
As if scalded, he abruptly withdrew his hand.
It was not a large bed, but a shared one divided by a curtain. Su Ying and Pei Xiu slept on opposite sides.
Following the edge of the bed, Pei Xiu found the curtain and quietly slipped beneath the thin quilt.
Before he could even let out a shallow sigh of relief, Su Ying’s detached voice came from the other side.
“Would you like to find somewhere else to stay?”
Pei Xiu’s voice was terribly hoarse. “No.”
After a pause, he continued in a quiet voice, “It’s the same everywhere.”
As long as he remained a blind cripple, people would bully him wherever he went.
“Come with me to the noodle stall tomorrow morning,” Su Ying said.
Perhaps feeling somewhat embarrassed, Pei Xiu pressed his lips together, his tone turning stiff.
“I’m not going.”
“Fine.”
Su Ying said nothing more. She turned over and soon fell into a deep sleep.
Pei Xiu’s entire body ached terribly, leaving him unable to sleep. His thoughts drifted far away.
Less than a year had passed since the Pei Family had been arrested and their property confiscated. Looking back now on the first fifteen years of his life, spent in silk and fine food, it all felt like something from a previous existence.
On the night the Pei Residence was seized, cries, curses, and shouts had merged into chaos. As the Pei Family’s legitimate second son, Pei Xiu had calmly accepted his fate.
He had never expected that the orphan girl he had accidentally brought into the residence two years earlier would save him amid the disorder.
For the past six months, they had wandered from place to place.
Su Ying had taken him—a useless cripple—and hidden with him wherever they could. Now that they had finally managed to settle temporarily in Beiliang County, he did not want to force her to search for another place because of him.
Amid his muddled thoughts, Pei Xiu endured the dull pain throughout his body and gradually fell asleep.
The next day, Su Ying woke before dawn.
She gently lifted the curtain and, in the faint light, looked at Pei Xiu, whose sleep was far from peaceful.
The handsome young master of the former Minister’s household, a beautiful youth once so adored that fruit would be tossed into his carriage, had lost his sight after suffering a high fever at the age of thirteen.
Pei Xiu was the person who had once saved her life, as well as the burden dragging her down.
Su Ying thought that since he had saved her life and given her two years of food and clothing without worry, she would repay him with two years in return.
After two years, they would owe each other nothing, and she would leave of her own accord.
Su Ying rose, washed, and went to the mouth of the alley to buy two steamed buns, a bowl of thin porridge, and a small dish of braised meat. She set them on the table.
Once everything was ready, she went to help at the noodle stall in the western part of the city.
The owner of the noodle stall, Madam Zhu, was a widow in her early thirties. She also had a son still studying, and life was extremely difficult for her.
She usually wore a bitter expression, and even her smile carried the air of someone fated to suffer.
When Su Ying arrived that day, Madam Zhu immediately pulled her aside, took out a red envelope, and pressed it into her hand.
“Here’s your wages for this month.”
There were still three days left in the month, yet she was paying her wages early. Su Ying understood what Madam Zhu meant and silently accepted the envelope.
Madam Zhu felt somewhat guilty and said, “You’re a hardworking girl. It’s just that you always wear such a long face, and the stall has had even fewer customers than usual this month. I truly had no other choice…”
Su Ying said nothing. She went to the market to buy some vegetables, then returned to the courtyard.
When they had first escaped, Pei Xiu had pawned much of the ornamentation on his person for quite a bit of silver.
But the two of them had spent their journey hiding and fleeing, and Pei Xiu had no identity document. Most of the money had gone toward bribing the soldiers guarding the city gates, while half a year of food, clothing, travel, and lodging had consumed the rest. By now, very little remained.
Fortunately, Su Ying knew how to identify medicinal herbs and occasionally went into the hills to gather some for extra income.
Now that she had lost her work at the noodle stall, she could go farther into the mountains. The money she earned would be no less than her wages at the stall.
Only…
Su Ying unlocked the gate and looked at Pei Xiu, who was sitting beneath the porch eating a steamed bun.
He was tearing off the bun piece by piece and placing each piece into his mouth to chew slowly. His refined, proper movements were completely out of place in the decrepit courtyard.
But what was to be done with this feeble little blind boy?
The mountains were no place to take him. If she left him home alone for several days, there was no telling whether he would still be alive by the time she returned.
The two of them rarely spoke during their ordinary days. Thus, even though Pei Xiu found it strange that Su Ying had returned so early, he did not ask.
At noon, Su Ying stir-fried a dish of greens and shared the steamed buns and thin porridge they had bought that morning.
Pei Xiu did not touch the braised meat. Instead, he ate more than half the dish of bland stir-fried greens.
Because she was busy with work, Su Ying almost never cooked at home. She usually bought prepared food outside and brought it back.
She had been born to a poor family and had lived through a famine, nearly starving to death amid the blizzard and snow.
It was then that Pei Xiu, passing by, had saved her.
Putting herself in his place, Su Ying felt that the food she arranged for Pei Xiu each day was hardly unfair to him. In fact, it could even be called quite good.
Pei Xiu had never made any demands of her, so she had given the matter no further thought.
But now, watching him nearly wolf down more than half the dish of greens, Su Ying suddenly understood.
“You like vegetables?” she asked.
Pei Xiu’s chopsticks paused. His expression turned faintly embarrassed.
“…I wouldn’t say I like them. It’s just that…I haven’t eaten hot food in a long time.”
“I don’t usually have time…”
Before she could finish, Pei Xiu gently interrupted her.
“I know. I’m not blaming you. I’m a useless cripple… The fact that you don’t find me a burden already means you’re exceptionally kind.”
Though they had lived together for half a year, this was the first time Su Ying had heard Pei Xiu say something like that, and she found it novel for a moment.
She carefully examined the young man before her. His nose was straight and refined, his lips thin and vividly colored. Even the bruises could not conceal his handsome features.
“Pei Xiu.”
It was the first time she had called him by his name.
Pei Xiu was slightly taken aback. “…Yes?”
“Are you afraid of death?”
“No.” Pei Xiu pressed his lips together. “It’s just that there’s hope as long as one is alive.”
“Not everyone is unafraid of death.”
Pei Xiu gazed blankly toward where she was sitting, not understanding what she meant.
“You’re a man too. You should know where a man’s weak point is.”
Su Ying’s voice was cold and blunt.
“Next time they come looking for you, don’t be afraid. Grab one of them and beat him to death.”