I know she’s lying to me, yet I willingly fall for it.
—Yan Ting.
[Xu Yuan’s Chat Window]
Xu Yuan: So you’re paying me to seduce your buddy because you’re afraid he’ll turn you gay?
Xu Yuan: Bro, do you have the wrong idea about yourself? Or about him? Or about your “straight man” identity?
Xu Yuan: Just because someone’s nice to you, they’re automatically gay?
Xu Yuan: And even if—hypothetically—he really were gay, why would he even fancy you? What about you screams “bottom”?
Xu Shen: Say one more word and I’m docking your pay.
Xu Yuan: Bro, dearest bro, I’m sorry. You’re suave and debonair, it’s only natural your buddy fell for you, and only natural you saw through it.
Xu Shen: …Suck-up. Get a grip.
Xu Shen: He’s really off. Last time we had dinner, he actually picked the cilantro out of my dish!
Xu Shen: A guy, picking cilantro for me! Isn’t that terrifying enough?
Xu Yuan: Is it possible he just couldn’t stand watching you dig for peanuts in a plate of cilantro salad?
Xu Shen: Shouldn’t he be picking out the peanuts? No wait, that’s not the point. The point is he never takes off his shirt when playing ball. It’s seriously suspicious.
Xu Yuan: Bro, are you a country bumpkin? Not taking off his shirt makes him gay? What if he’s just well-mannered? What if he’s just avoiding sunburn?
Xu Shen: He gave me a bottle of perfume. Last Christmas.
Xu Yuan: …What’s wrong with giving perfume? I’ve given you perfume too.
Xu Shen: You’re my sister. You’re a girl. He’s a guy.
Xu Yuan: Your logic is as bizarre as “separate bathrooms for men and women.”
Xu Yuan: By that reasoning, a guy giving a girl a gift is normal, but a guy giving a guy a gift is gay? Then what do I count as when I give my bestie lipstick? Don’t make wild claims about uncertain things.
Xu Shen: Exactly why I’m uncertain—that’s why I need you to test it out.
Xu Yuan: How do I test it?
Xu Shen: Chase him. Flirt with him. Seduce him.
Xu Yuan: (⊙o⊙)?
Xu Yuan: You want me to chase a gay guy?
Xu Shen: What if he’s not?
Xu Yuan: What if he is? What do I get out of chasing a gay guy? A bunch of new girlfriends?
Xu Shen: I’ll add another five thousand.
Xu Yuan: It’s not about the money…
Xu Shen: After it’s done, I’ll give you twenty thousand. Enough to buy a gift for your crush, right?
Xu Yuan: How do you know?
Xu Shen: Do you have a brain? I share a dorm with Tang Shuqing, and I’m the one who gave you his WeChat. You think I haven’t noticed the drooling look you get every time you see him? I’m not blind.
Xu Yuan: …
Damn.
Xu Shen: So are you taking it or not? If not, I’ll find someone else.
Xu Yuan: I’ll take it, I’ll take it. Only a fool turns down easy money.
Xu Yuan: But I’m telling you upfront—I’m only responsible for chatting with him and getting him to like girls. If he doesn’t, that’s not a failure of my skills, that’s a problem with his sexual orientation.
Xu Shen: Fine. I’ll send you his WeChat.
Xu Shen: Note: Yan Ting. The one with the black square as his profile picture.
Xu Yuan stared at the name. “Yan Ting… sounds so familiar. Where have I heard that before?”
In the dorm, Li Meng, who was sitting nearby munching on an apple, perked up her ears and shoved her head over. “Yan Ting? Which Yan Ting?”
“This one. My brother just sent it to me.”
Li Meng snatched her phone. “AHHHHHH YAN TING?!”
“Keep it down!” Xu Yuan tried to cover her mouth.
Li Meng swatted her hand away, eyes sparkling. “Do you have any idea who Yan Ting is? He’s the campus heartthrob of A University next door! School of Economics and Management! The kind every girl on campus is lining up to marry!”
Xu Yuan stared at her expressionlessly. “Ma’am, please calm down.”
“I can’t calm down!” Li Meng started counting on her fingers. “Do you know how amazing Senior Yan is? His father is the chairman of the Yan Group—yes, THAT Yan Group. Half the malls you shop at are owned by his family.”
Xu Yuan blinked.
“Second, he’s a great person. Freshman year he went to teach in the mountains, and he personally paid to build a library for the kids. Nobody even knew until the school sent a thank-you letter.”
“Third, he’s ranked first in his major every year, wins scholarships left and right, and word is he’s already preparing for a graduate recommendation.”
Xu Yuan started to look thoughtful. That impressive? Could he really be gay?
“Most importantly…” Li Meng clasped her hands together, looking dreamy. “He’s ridiculously handsome. The kind of handsome where you’re walking down the street, see him, and can’t help but go ‘wow.’ Six-foot-three, fair skin, deep eyes, a sharp nose, and when he presses his thin lips together, he looks both restrained and seductive. One glance from him and your heart goes thumping. Isn’t he the ultimate male lead straight out of a novel? Whoever gets to have him would be living the dream!”
Xu Yuan: “…”
“You have no idea—every day, the people chasing him line up from the cafeteria all the way to the library!”
Li Meng looked heartbroken. “The library! Do you know how far that is? It spans the entire campus! That’s how insane it is! Some people camp outside his classroom door every day just to catch a glimpse of him, to the point where the professor thought the class had suddenly gotten overcrowded.”
Xu Yuan: “That many girls are chasing him? And you’re saying he doesn’t like any of them?”
Li Meng: “He’s a god-tier crush, okay? It’s normal for him to be aloof.”
Does he not like them, or does he not like them?
Oh no. He’s not actually gay, is he?
Xu Yuan snatched her phone back. “Alright, alright. Why are you so worked up?”
“Of course I’m worked up! He’s my dream guy!” Li Meng leaned in closer. “By the way, why did your brother give you his contact? Does your brother know him?”
Xu Yuan thought for a moment, decided that saying “my brother hired me to seduce him to confirm whether he’s gay” was way too embarrassing to admit out loud, and so lied without batting an eye: “I’m going to pursue him.”
“Huh? Don’t you already have a crush on someone? Your gentle Tang Shuqing?”
Xu Yuan had indeed had a crush on Tang Shuqing for over a year now, but had never confessed.
She only dared to rely on being Xu Shen’s sister to “morally blackmail” Tang Shuqing a little—occasionally borrowing things, returning things.
Tang Shuqing was in the same dorm as Xu Shen, and they got along well. He was also quite considerate toward Xu Yuan.
Coincidentally, Tang Shuqing also knew Yan Ting, but the two had completely different personalities.
Tang Shuqing’s smile was especially gentle. Xu Yuan had fallen for him at first sight—or you could say she was drawn by his looks.
“Actually, my brother hired me to pursue him.”
Li Meng froze for two seconds before shrieking in realization: “No way?! Your brother hired you to pursue Yan Ting?!”
Xu Yuan clamped a hand over her mouth and glanced around like a thief: “Keep it down! Please.”
Luckily, summer break was approaching, so they were the only two in the dorm right now.
Li Meng pried her hand off and lowered her voice, though she couldn’t suppress her excitement: “So did you agree?”
“I agreed.”
“How much?”
“Twenty thousand.”
Li Meng’s expression instantly froze: “What?! My dream guy is only worth twenty thousand? It should be at least twenty-five!”
“…Do you even hear what you’re saying?”
Li Meng said with complete confidence: “Am I wrong? That’s Yan Ting! The campus heartthrob of A University! The only son of the Yan Group! A six-foot-two cool-toned pale-skinned god! You’re spending twenty thousand to buy out his feelings? You’re insulting him!”
“I’m not trying to buy out his feelings!” Xu Yuan was losing it. “I’m just pretending to pursue him! To confirm whether he’s… whatever, it doesn’t matter. Anyway, that’s the situation. For the money, I’m all in.”
No time like the present.
She registered a new burner account.
For her profile picture, she picked a cute orange cat. She thought for ages about the username, then typed: “Better to pray to yourself than to the gods.”
All set, she tapped on the contact card Xu Shen had sent her.
A black square profile picture. WeChat name: Yan.
Bio: just a single period.
Cold enough.
She tapped “Add to Contacts.” The question was: what should she write for the friend request?
She bit her lip and typed a line: “Hi there, nice to meet you.”
Too formal. Deleted.
“Hello, I heard you’re missing a girlfriend?”
Too direct. Deleted.
“Hello, I heard you’re gay? I’m here to verify.”
That would probably get her beaten to death, right? Deleted.
She thought for a moment, then suddenly her eyes lit up. She quickly typed a line: 【I just did a quick fortune reading, and it says your WeChat is missing a little cutie like me.】