By the time Ying Yang entered the field in her previous life, competition among food and travel bloggers had already grown ferocious. At first, she gathered followers quickly: it took her less than a year to build an account from nothing into one of middling influence. Then she hit a bottleneck. Another year passed, and her numbers even began to show signs of decline.
In the third year, a fan painstakingly compiled a list of the more absurd things she had done: eating steamed buns while gliding through the air, scrambling up cliffs to pluck weeds, diving underwater to slurp jellyfish raw, and competing with squirrels for nuts on forest hikes. Inspiration struck. Ying Yang had her team put together a wildly edited parody video, and from that moment her popularity exploded.
She had scarcely enjoyed two years of fame before she developed brain cancer. And after that—well, after that she had ended up in this godforsaken place at the end of the Warring States period.
God, Buddha, all the boundless Heavenly Worthies—please help me get rid of that wicked wet nurse! Please let me learn to speak properly! I swear I’ll spend the rest of my life doing good deeds!
Gritting her teeth, Ying Yang braced herself on trembling arms and forced her little body upward. Her head came down against the mat with a resounding thump, and she uttered a muffled string of ahs.
Your daughter pays her respects to Father. May Father be blessed with good fortune—no, wait, that’s not right. Long joy and unending prosperity?
*Oh no! I never got to eat after the ceremony! I haven’t got any strength!*
Whether from low blood sugar or from keeping her head lowered so long that the blood rushed to it, darkness swept across Ying Yang’s vision. Her raised bottom described a ninety-degree arc in the air before she toppled sideways. Her two little feet kicked wildly a couple of times, and then she lay still.
Only belatedly did Xia Bazi cry out in alarm and call for a children’s physician. She sprang up so hastily that she trod on the hem of her own robe. Had Ying Zheng not reached out in time to steady her, she would nearly have struck the corner of the table.
“Do not panic. Yangzi is hungry, nothing more. Have her wet nurse take her away and feed her,” Ying Zheng said in a deep voice.
With him present, everyone had someone to lean upon. His words were commands that permitted no hesitation.
Before her betters, Feng Shi was the very picture of a devoted, gentle, kindly wet nurse. Now she advanced on her knees before anyone else, gathered Ying Yang into her arms, and requested leave to withdraw.
Rui Shi hurriedly bowed and withdrew with her.
Once they were gone, Xia Bazi smoothed her hair at the temples and suppressed her anxiety. “Dawang, Yangzi is already four years old. It is time to select her Fumu.”
She bowed low. “Yangzi’s constitution is not as robust as her brothers’, and she is apt to grow shy around strangers. This Qie wishes to petition that Feng Shi be appointed her Fumu and Rui Shi her Baomu. Feng Shi is clever, loyal, and upright; Rui Shi is gentle and attentive. With the two of them caring for Yangzi, this Qie could rest easy. I beg Dawang to grant this request!”
“Oh?” Ying Zheng did not answer. Instead, he asked about someone who was absent. “A Gongzhu ought to have three wet nurses attending her. Where has Du Shi gone?”
He did not remember the names of every woman in his inner palace, but he remembered all his children, and the names of those attendants who were important to them.
“Du Shi was careless and reckless. Last year, during the early summer observance, when we were admiring the lotus flowers, she drank too much and fell into the pond at Xibei. Though her attendants pulled her out promptly, she caught a chill and fell ill. She was moved to the northern quarters and died not two days later.”
Xia Bazi sighed. “Yangzi was old enough to understand things by then. When she heard, she cried until her eyes were swollen nearly shut. To comfort her, I gave Du Shi’s family fifty thousand coins, fifty shi of millet, and fifty bolts of undyed cloth. A-Jie has always been kindhearted, and she pitied Yangzi as well; she bestowed another fifty thousand coins, fifty shi of millet, and a hundred bolts of cloth.”
The A-Jie of whom Xia Bazi spoke was Xia Furen, one of the three Furen of the inner palace. Their fathers were brothers born of the same parents.
Ying Zheng nodded and asked a few questions about Du Shi’s dealings with Ying Yang.
Xia Bazi was utterly bewildered. She could not understand why her husband had suddenly taken an interest in a dead woman, but she gathered her wits and answered each question carefully.
In the corner, the indicator in the bronze water clock rose little by little. At last Ying Zheng beckoned an attendant. “Two ke have passed. Why has the wet nurse not brought Yangzi back?”
An attendant requested permission to investigate. Ying Zheng nodded, then changed his mind. He would go himself.
…
The previous night, Ying Zheng had awakened suddenly from a sound sleep to news that a comet had appeared in the east and was visible in the northern sky. Before he could recover from the shock, an uncanny noise, like the squeaking of mice, began sounding beside his ears. He had summoned ritual specialists and fangshi in the middle of the night to conduct ceremonies and pray for blessings, with little result.
Even after the rites, the strange noise persisted. Ying Zheng ordered the useless ritualists and fangshi executed in accordance with the Qin law that punished failure to produce the promised result with death.
Facing their final moments, one fangshi protested in grief and fury that it was not their rites that lacked power. The evil presence was simply too strong.
“Everyone, in the capital and beyond, knows that the Fifth Gongzhu of the palace is an ill-omened child! Meteors filled the heavens when she was born! And now a comet has appeared—this is the disaster she has summoned upon us! Dawang! Dawang, do not allow yourself to be bewitched by that baleful star, or Qin itself will be imperiled!”
The fangshi were not alone in thinking so. At the hastily convened small court assembly called in response to the comet, the Fengchang and Zongzheng, both among the Jiuqing, had raised the matter in more circumspect terms.
Naturally, they would never dare urge Qin Wang to kill his daughter. But might it not be possible to send the Fifth Gongzhu away?
Let her reside elsewhere for a time, with all her food, clothing, gold, and jade provided as before. Surely that would be for Dawang’s good, and for the good of every soul in the palace!
…
Ying Yang knew nothing of the proposal to send her away. All she knew was that Feng Shi was about to torment her to death.
Why hasn’t Feng Shi bathed again?!
And why does a three-year-old still have to drink milk?!
I’m three, not three months old! Give me some proper food!
“Urgh—” Ying Yang’s throat convulsed uncontrollably.
“Gongzhu, here is some salt water. Please…” A-Liao held out a bowl of water so clear that one could see straight to the bottom.
Ying Yang took a mouthful, rinsed her mouth, and spat into the handkerchief spread across A-Liao’s palm. The saltiness helped suppress the rank smell of grime from an unwashed body. She then drank a cup of sweet cane juice.
The sugar restored some energy to her brain, and a little color returned to her face.
Seeing that she was no longer deathly pale and on the verge of fainting, Feng Shi finally relaxed. She gave a cold snort.
“Dianxia has grown up and now despises her wet nurse. Even crows and beasts know to repay those who raised them. Yet Gongzhu, taught propriety from childhood, scorns the woman whose milk nourished her. What a want of filial devotion!”
Feng Shi had long established a fearsome authority over those who served Ying Yang. Now, when she launched into her barbed, insinuating complaints, no one dared make a sound.
Satisfied that nobody had the courage to contradict her, Feng Shi nodded. Then she turned and saw A-Liao glaring at her in anger, while Gongzhu watched her with a cold expression. Her heart gave a little jolt, followed at once by a surge of fury.
“You little wretch! How dare you look at your elder that way! Watch yourself, or I’ll gouge those eyes right out!”
She rose and slapped A-Liao viciously across the face. Whether by accident or design, her fingertips swept against Ying Yang’s chin as the child sat in A-Liao’s arms.
Idiot. Haven’t you noticed how unnaturally quiet it is outside?
Ying Yang cried out in pain.
A figure in crimson rushed into the room and began striking Feng Shi about the head and face.
The wet nurse was stunned for an instant. Then, beside herself with rage, she shoved the crimson-clad figure away without thinking.
“What slut dares strike me? Do you have any idea who I am?!”
“Aiya!” The figure tumbled to the floor with a cry of pain.
Ying Yang: “…”
Ying Zheng: “…”
No, seriously, Mother! You’re so delicate—why are you trying to be some invincible slap-fighting goddess? Have you completely misunderstood your own physical abilities? Just order a whole crowd of people to go after her! Oh, honestly! Now you’ve fallen over… Are you badly hurt?
Ying Zheng lowered his gaze to the daughter who lay in the maidservant’s arms, staring up at him.
What? Dad, your wife just fell over, and you aren’t even going to help her up? How cold-blooded can you be?
Wife? Ying Zheng glanced at Feng Shi, somewhat perplexed.
Ugh. Palace intrigue is terrifying. And in Qin Shi Huang’s harem it’s palace intrigue on the tenth level of hell. Even a three-year-old gets caught in plots and ambushes from every direction.
Ying Zheng: “…”
What’s wrong with you, Dad? Have you gone stupid? Go deal with this! Why are you standing there staring at me? Don’t tell me I haven’t actually transmigrated into Qin Shi Huang’s era? No way. No way! What’s the point of being a Qin Gongzhu if you aren’t Qin Shi Huang’s daughter?
Come to think of it, Dad has rather big eyes. Mother does too. Does that mean I’ll have big eyes when I grow up?
…I will get to grow up, won’t I?
Ying Zheng turned and gave his orders.
“Feng Shi and Rui Shi have abused Gongzhu. Strip them of their positions as her wet nurses and confine them in the Baoshi. Detain the fathers, mothers, husbands, children, and full siblings of both women. The other attendants knew of Feng Shi and Rui Shi’s abuse of Gongzhu and failed to report it; punish them according to palace regulations. Order the Yongxiang Ling and the palace prison’s Yushi to investigate Du Shi’s drowning last year.”
Feng Shi and Rui Shi struck their foreheads against the floor and pleaded through their tears. “Dawang, we beg you to spare our families!”
Ying Zheng frowned faintly. At once, attendants clapped hands over the women’s mouths and dragged them, along with the others, from the room.
A tall eunuch seized A-Liao by the arm and began hauling her away. She could not help crying, “Gongzhu!”
Ying Yang, now back in her mother’s arms and being anxiously stroked and cuddled, saw what was happening and immediately grew frantic.
“Ah! Ah!!”
Don’t take A-Liao away! She’s a good person!
[Would you like to publish your first video?]
—Can you not read the room? At a moment like this, you’re asking me to—
A piercing sound burst forth. Ying Zheng pressed a hand to his forehead.
The eunuch took this as a sign of impatience and quickened his efforts to drag A-Liao away.
[Would you like to publish your first video?]
The System kept squawking without the slightest sense of timing. Ying Yang lost her temper.
Do whatever you want! They say the customer is God, but as far as I can see, you’re the one who thinks you’re God! Can’t you see someone’s life is at stake?!
With which God is Yangzi speaking?
Is Yangzi an auspicious being—or something evil?
With a strange mixture of curiosity and anticipation, Ying Zheng watched quietly. He saw his daughter point furiously at the young maidservant. He saw her open her mouth wide in anger. He saw her let out an extraordinarily loud hiccup—and her wordless cries suddenly became:
“Le—le-le-le-let her go!”
The child’s voice was unfamiliar, her pronunciation blurred. Every gaze in the room turned toward the little speaker.
The little speaker herself went still.
I can talk?!
You can receive rewards even when you haven’t completed the mission?
[Congratulations! You have successfully published your first video and received a “★★★★” content rating, earning the hidden reward “Popularity Points +1”!]
[Hidden Reward Explanation: A journey of a thousand li begins beneath one’s feet; a single spark can set the prairie ablaze. Once you take action, you hold the secret of success! Please continue posting frequently while maintaining the quality of your content!]
[The host’s current Popularity Points have reached 5, satisfying the conditions for distribution of the additional reward.]
Holy shit! System, you’re my darling immortal treasure, my savior!
Sweetheart—I’m so sorry I misunderstood you before! Thank you for arranging everything for me! Wahahaha! I can talk!
A smile of genuine delight spread across Ying Zheng’s face. He knelt beside her and gently stroked the soft, slightly yellow hair on her head.
“Good Yangzi. Three years without a cry—and now, with one cry, you astonish the world.”
Then he turned to Xia Bazi, who was weeping with joy. “This child bears extraordinary fortune. She is no ordinary mortal. You must raise her well.”
Xia Bazi nodded through her sobs. Remembering her manners, she bowed with the child in her arms. “This Qie will not fail Dawang’s charge!”
Ying Yang had no idea how the System’s neural treatment worked, but the uncomfortable sense that her soul did not quite fit her body had diminished considerably. Not only did her mind and mouth obey her more readily; even her eyesight had improved.
Previously, there had always seemed to be a mist before her eyes, blurring everything she looked at. So she hadn’t imagined it after all. Now her vision was clear—and the first thing she saw clearly was her father’s beard, which seemed to occupy half his face and had an almost overwhelming presence.
Ying Yang stole a glance at it. Then another.
Her stare was so conspicuous that Ying Zheng could not help reaching up to stroke his short beard. At that very moment, he heard his daughter say inwardly:
No way. Qin Shi Huang is this ugly? He’s still young, but he looks like an old man already.
Ying Zheng: “…………”
Author’s Note:
_(:з」∠)_ Zheng-ge actually isn’t ugly! It’s just that the little one doesn’t like beards on young men. She thinks they look strange.
Translator’s Note: