Xue Ling felt even the breath in her nose growing hot. Her head was dizzy, and in her daze, she clutched the strip of cloth saturated with his body fragrance and bent over him, inhaling frantically.
The young man’s hands were bound as he lay on the couch, his face flushed with a feverish, unhealthy red. His long, raven-black hair spilled across the bedding, and a white cloth covered his eyes. His red lips were as bright as vermilion, his delicate features breathtaking. He was radiant yet unreal, like the most beautiful treasure in the world, making her unable to bear letting him go.
In a daze, Xue Ling pressed herself against his lower abdomen and slowly followed the faintly throbbing veins beneath his thin skin upward, sniffing carefully. Her heart seemed ready to tremble out of her chest, and her breathing shook.
So fragrant.
Xue Ling felt like crying. She could not say why she wanted to cry; perhaps she simply felt that she had truly never seen the world. A little fragrance was enough to make her so utterly infatuated.
Could it be that she had simply not been born with a life of wealth and luxury?
Xue Ling’s eyes reddened, and half her heart went cold, yet her nose would not stop. Her hands were also wrapped around his lean waist. She continued sniffing all the way to the hollow of his neck, still unsatisfied, until she even began to grow dizzy from the fragrance.
Many afterimages appeared before her eyes. In her mind, only one thought remained.
Smell him to death.
Xue Ling, who had begun sobbing in sorrow, lay across his fever-burning body and pressed herself to his jaw, continuing to sniff upward. The bead of her lip accidentally brushed against his cool, thin lips, and her entire body shuddered.
For an instant, her mind cleared—but then she tasted something very sweet.
Like candy.
She had hardly ever eaten candy. When she was little, she had once seen children her own age eating sugar figurines. When one dropped a piece on the ground and abandoned it, she had stared at it without looking away, like a puppy guarding food. Only after the child left had she secretly picked it up and licked the clean parts.
She could not help smiling while licking it, because candy was so sweet.
So why could the world not give her one more person who was happy and fulfilled, wealthy and free from worry?
Xue Ling was sad and jealous. She opened her lips and bit down on that sweet, soft thing, sucking on it for a while as if she were eating candy, until she heard a very faint moan.
She opened her hazy eyes and blankly looked at Gu Xingzhi in front of her, their noses brushing and their lips and tongues entwined.
His ears were feverishly red, as though they were about to drip blood. Bare-chested, he was being held by her while she bit his tongue.
When Xue Ling saw clearly what she was doing, her eyes flew wide. She hurriedly retreated, and a crystalline tear held in the corner of her eye slid down onto his lips, where faint bite marks remained.
Yet he seemed completely unaware of who had made him such a mess. His lips were still parted, and the tip of the tongue she had drawn out remained outside. The tear soaked into his crimson tongue, leaving him in such disarray that he resembled a debauched libertine.
Xue Ling swallowed hard. Her lashes trembling violently, she picked up the strip of cloth that had fallen to the floor and continued wiping his body with medicinal wine.
She had originally wanted to remove his trousers as well, but now she did not dare.
The soft dampness lingered on the tip of his tongue for a long time. Only then did Gu Xingzhi, still unconscious, draw his tongue back. Yet that softness he had never experienced before seemed to seep through his skin like viscous water, engraving itself into his bones.
Xue Ling wiped his body for the entire night. The medicinal wine in the gourd was completely used up, and at last, the burning heat of his body subsided. He still had not awakened.
Dawn was just breaking. The heavy rain that had fallen all night had not stopped, and damp mist filled the courtyard.
Wrapped in a padded winter coat, Xue Ling opened the door and peered outside, sighing inwardly.
With rain this heavy, she would not be able to go to the academy today either.
After sighing, she cupped her hands and blew warm air into them. Then she turned around, locked the door, and went to the kitchen to cook porridge.
Gu Xingzhi was pushed awake by Xue Ling.
“Get up, Xiaobai, get up.” Xue Ling tugged at his arm, which had begun to grow hot again, thoroughly impatient.
She had only gone to the kitchen and cooked a bowl of porridge. By the time she came back, his fever had returned.
Raising Xiaobai had never been this troublesome. Xue Ling felt somewhat regretful.
Fortunately, after waking, Gu Xingzhi’s mind was clear; the fever had not muddled him.
Xue Ling helped him sit up against the bed. She held out the porridge, intending to hand it to him, but then saw that the face beneath the white cloth was deathly pale, while an air of dejection and frailty lingered around him.
“Forget it. I’ll feed you.” Xue Ling avoided his hand, scooped up a spoonful of plain porridge, and held it to his lips. “Open your mouth. Eat.”
Gu Xingzhi was silent for a moment. His thin lips parted slightly, exposing the wound on the inner side of his lower lip that had been bitten the night before.
Xue Ling’s hand trembled, and the porridge spilled onto his short, narrow, fair chin.
He tilted his head slightly in confusion, his expression faint.
Even with his eyes covered by the white cloth, Xue Ling still felt as if he were looking through it, directing a cool, assessing gaze at her.
Feeling guilty, and relying on the fact that he could not see, she said in feigned surprise, “Was your fever very uncomfortable last night? How did you manage to bite your lower lip into this state?”
As she spoke, Xue Ling watched his expression without blinking. When he seemed to realize something, he lowered his head and very lightly licked the wound on his lips.
“I don’t know.” He shook his head calmly, without suspecting her.
Xue Ling relaxed inwardly and resumed feeding him the porridge as though nothing had happened. “You were delirious with fever yesterday. I didn’t sleep well at all—I was constantly helping you cool down. Then, afraid you would be hungry this morning, I even specially cooked you a bowl of porridge. You owe me a huge favor.”
Whenever she found even the slightest advantage, she magnified it endlessly as she told him about it, wanting him to remember only how good she had been to him.
Gu Xingzhi swallowed the bland, tasteless porridge. He recalled how she had forcibly bound his hands the previous night and fastened them to the head of the couch. His wrist, which had been resting over his abdomen, relaxed, while red marks from being bound all night remained on his fair skin.
Perhaps his delicate stomach had already grown accustomed to a frugal diet, or perhaps it was because he was ill. Xue Ling discovered that this time, he did not vomit up any of the porridge he swallowed.
“Xiaobai, is it good?” Her eyes shining, she leaned closer and sniffed him all over.
No joy or displeasure could be discerned from Gu Xingzhi’s expression. As usual, he gave a quiet “Mm.”
Xue Ling grew even happier.
She sat on his legs again and buried herself against his shoulder. She did not even mind when he turned his head away in disgust.
“Hurry up and get better. Once you’re used to it, I’ll make food for you every day. You can eat and sleep with me, and I’ll take better care of you than anyone else.” Her voice was soft, and her delight could not be concealed.
“You only need to obediently watch the house for me when I’m away. I won’t make you do anything else.”
No matter what she said, Gu Xingzhi responded faintly, as if she had tamed him.
Xue Ling knew that pride ran through his very bones, that he looked down on her with contempt and disdain. But so what? At present, he could only agree to her demands.
After breakfast, his fever returned. Although Xue Ling had liked him very much a moment ago, now that she had to cool him down, she began to hate him again.
There was no wine left in the house.
Impatiently, Xue Ling wiped his body with warm water. Just when she had finally managed to lower his temperature, it rose again.
Angry, Xue Ling said to him, “If you still can’t get better, I’m going to throw you out.”
She was not merely venting her anger. Xue Ling was serious.
With the heavy rain outside, he would certainly die. Being thrown out was still better than dying in her courtyard.
Gu Xingzhi heard her words through his hazy consciousness. His state of mind was strangely calm, even so detached and indifferent that he seemed to be standing outside the matter entirely—as if it were not he who was ill, but merely a cat or dog by the roadside.
Although Xue Ling grumbled and cursed for a while, in truth, she was terribly anxious.
In this life, apart from her Father’s corpse, she had never personally seen anyone die before her eyes.
When she saw that his high fever refused to subside, she had considered throwing him out. But then she thought that he was still alive and that she could not do such a thing.
Xue Ling paced back and forth in the room, repeatedly glancing toward the curtain of rain that had darkened outside once more.
If she called for a doctor, she would expose herself. The moment Gu Xingzhi was discovered here, her days would be over.
But if she did not call for a doctor, he might burn to death.
Caught between conscience and self-interest, Xue Ling racked her brains until she came up with another, middle-ground choice.
She turned and bent over Gu Xingzhi’s ear, whispering several times, “I’ve saved your life more than once. Now, to save you again, I went out into the rain in the middle of the night. I even fell and scraped my legs until they were covered in blood. It hurt so much that I couldn’t get up, but I still crawled all the way to the clinic to beg for medicine for you.”
She fabricated the events that had not yet happened, one word at a time. Bending over his ear, she recited them many times before finally stopping.
She had no idea whether he had heard her incantation-like words at all.
Barefoot, Xue Ling threw on the straw rain cape hanging outside the door and gritted her teeth as she ran into the rain. She even forgot to close the door behind her.
A gust of cold wind blew in through the open doorway. The feeble oil lamp fluttered and threatened to go out. On the couch, the young man with the fever-reddened face seemed to awaken. His cool, thin lips moved as he murmured the words she had whispered into his ear moments before.
She was covered in blood for his sake.
She had been in so much pain that she could not get up, yet she had still crawled to the clinic for him.
The rain was falling far too heavily.
Xue Ling really did fall several times on the way. Fortunately, she had only scraped her skin, and after the rain washed over her, the wounds were barely visible.
She ran to Doctor Li’s door in the middle of the night and pounded on it.
Doctor Li came to open the door wearing a straw rain cape. When he saw Xue Ling, he looked startled. “Miss Xue?”
Xue Ling lifted her face, which had been made deathly pale by the rain, and grabbed Doctor Li’s hand. Her entire body trembled uncontrollably from the cold, yet her tone remained calm and orderly. “Uncle Li, I wanted to ask whether you have any medicine for someone who fell ill with chills after getting soaked in the rain.”
Doctor Li invited her inside to speak.
Xue Ling shook her head. “My Xiaobai is about to die, Uncle Li. Right now, I only want the medicine.”
“Xiaobai?” Doctor Li stared at her in surprise. “Isn’t Xiaobai already dead?”
Xue Ling explained, “I’m raising another Xiaobai now. He got sick after being soaked in the rain.”
Doctor Li understood and reminded her, “People and dogs aren’t treated the same way.”
Xue Ling insisted on medicine to drive the chill from a sick person, then stuffed the copper coins she had carried all the way there into his hand. “Uncle Li, just give me medicine meant for a person. I’ll probably catch a chill tonight too, so I might as well prepare in advance.”
Doctor Li could not say anything more. He led her to the back courtyard, where he prepared several doses of medicine and instructed her about the taboos during the course of treatment.
Xue Ling listened attentively.
Before she left, Doctor Li even lent her the best straw rain cape in his household, telling her not to get soaked on the way home.
Xue Ling gave him a grateful smile. “Thank you, Uncle Li. I’ll go back now. I’ll return it another day when the weather clears.”
Doctor Li shook his head. “It’s late. Hurry home. There’s no need to rush.”
“Mm.” Xue Ling quickly changed into the better rain cape, tightened the collar, and protected the medicine packets against her chest as she ran into the curtain of rain.
Only then did Doctor Li notice that she was barefoot. She had not even had time to put on her shoes.
He wanted to call her back and give her a pair of straw sandals, but she had already run far away, so he let it go.
When Xue Ling ran home and suddenly saw the open door to the bedroom, her breathing caught. Many thoughts flashed through her mind in an instant.
Gu Xingzhi had escaped.
Without bothering to remove the rain cape she had just hung on a wall peg, and with water still dripping from her short hemp jacket, she hurried into the bedroom.
Then she saw the candlelight on the short cabinet by the head of the bed shrouding the young man in a dim yellow glow. His cold, jade-like skin gleamed with a faint, holy radiance as he lay on the couch.
So he had not taken the opportunity to leave.
Delight appeared on Xue Ling’s face. Still soaked through, she ran toward him and hugged him without the slightest concern for propriety.
He was awake. He raised a hand, intending to push her away, but stopped when he touched her thin shoulder, which was cold and trembling.
She sounded terribly wronged. “Xiaobai, I forgot to close the door just now. I thought you were gone.”
Gu Xingzhi’s voice was faint and hoarse. “No strength.”
If he had possessed any strength, he would have left long ago.
Xue Ling raised her head and complained that he had no sense of romance, but she did not actually hold it against him. She brought over a small brazier, then squatted by the doorway to boil the medicine.
Inside the room, Gu Xingzhi seemed to be watching her.
Xue Ling did not care. She lowered her head and examined the injuries from her falls.
They were not serious. She had long since grown accustomed to falling. Not only did she have scars of various sizes across her knees, there was also a long scar on her shoulder that resembled a centipede.
The injuries on the soles of her feet were rather serious. Xue Ling raised one foot and gently swung it, then said with a laugh to the young man behind her without turning her head, “Xiaobai, I injured my foot because of you. You must remember that.”
As though that were not enough, Xue Ling hurriedly added, “Every scar on my body is because of you.”
She forcibly piled every “favor” of every size onto him, desperately wanting to tame him as quickly as possible.
Gu Xingzhi did not respond, nor did he take her words to heart.
He did not care how many injuries she had or how she had gotten them.
Xue Ling finished boiling the medicine, yet still received no response from him.
She held the medicine and drank a full bowl herself first, then carried the remainder to him.
“You drink it yourself. My hand is injured too.” Xue Ling placed the bowl on the short cabinet, raised her index finger, which had been scraped slightly, and exaggerated the injury with a grave expression.
Gu Xingzhi had recovered some of his strength. He picked up the medicine bowl and placed it to his lips.
Xue Ling stared at his beautiful, protruding Adam’s apple, watching it rise and fall beneath the translucent, pale skin. In the end, he finished the entire bowl of medicine.
As soon as he set the bowl aside, Xue Ling, who had been unusually quiet, suddenly climbed onto the couch and knelt on his legs. She touched his Adam’s apple with her fingertip, her eyes shining as she asked, “Can you make it rise again?”
Gu Xingzhi’s brows drew together slightly. “No.”
Yet as he spoke, it rose very lightly.
Xue Ling truly could not resist any longer. She bent down and bit it.
“Ah…” His entire body trembled. Instinctively, he tilted up his elegant, handsome neck, parted his lips, and breathed in disarray.
Xue Ling stepped on the taut, arched bone of his ankle, wrapped her arms around his neck, and lightly grazed him with her teeth. She coaxed him indistinctly, “Don’t make a sound, don’t make a sound. I’m only biting it once. I’ve suffered so many injuries for you—I have every right to demand payment.”