Chi Meng initially planned to drive, but she found her hands trembling violently, so she abandoned the idea and walked to the roadside to hail a taxi.
The driver, seeing her poor condition, gently asked: “Miss, do you need a ride to the hospital?”
Chi Meng pulled her mask up to cover the bloodstains on her hands, her voice barely audible: “No need. Just take me to Lanling Road.”
The driver didn’t pry further, focusing on driving, though he occasionally checked on her condition in the rearview mirror.
Chi Meng folded her arms in a self-protective posture, and the clean clothes she had just put on were already stained with blood again. She was curled up against the window, her head bowed low.
Upon reaching the destination, Chi Meng tossed a hundred yuan bill to the driver, hastily opened the car door and got out, disappearing before the driver could give her change.
The driver held the money, completely bewildered. What an odd person.
Chi Meng ran breathlessly to Xiao Ran’s doorstep and heavily rang the doorbell.
After a moment, Xiao Ran opened the door with messy hair. Seeing Chi Meng’s appearance, her sleepy eyes immediately cleared.
“You… are you alright?” Xiao Ran paused, then ushered Chi Meng inside.
Chi Meng stood at the doorway, looking at the neat and clean house, hesitant to step in.
“I still won’t go in, lest I dirty your house.”
Hearing this, Xiao Ran understood what was going on. She rubbed her temples, led Chi Meng to sit on the sofa, and poured her a cup of water.
Chi Meng took the cup, softly said “thank you,” and held the cup with both hands, her eyes vacant.
Xiao Ran walked into the bedroom. When she emerged again, she was in casual clothes, wearing a pair of thin-rimmed glasses, immediately highlighting her professional nature.
“Talk to me, what happened? When I called you yesterday, didn’t you say everything was okay?”
How did you end up in such a mess again?
Xiao Ran pursed her lips, swallowing the latter half of the sentence.
Chi Meng’s emotions were slightly more stable. She looked up at Xiao Ran, her eyes full of confusion and vulnerability.
“Doctor Xiao, I…”
“It’s okay. Say whatever you want to say. There’s no need to worry about anything in front of me. Understanding your current psychological state will help with the subsequent treatment.”
Xiao Ran sat opposite Chi Meng, her voice gentle, like a soothing spring breeze, comforting Chi Meng.
She was Chi Meng’s high school classmate and psychologist. Chi Meng relied on her heavily and trusted her completely, so in front of her, all the arrogance and indifference completely faded, leaving her vulnerability and fear exposed.
“Doctor Xiao, I feel like I’m starting to lose control of myself again.”
A subtle glint flashed in Xiao Ran’s eyes. She asked, “Is it because of that woman again?”
Chi Meng didn’t answer, a silent acknowledgment. A hint of displeasure rose in Xiao Ran’s eyes, but quickly settled back into calm.
“I just wanted her to stay by my side. I didn’t mean to hurt her. But…” Chi Meng looked at her hands, momentarily lost in thought. The water cup slipped to the floor and shattered. Flying shards cut her exposed ankle, but she was completely unaware of it, making Xiao Ran extremely anxious.
“Lift your foot, don’t step on the broken glass!” Xiao Ran stepped over the coffee table to Chi Meng’s side. Seeing that she wasn’t moving, she simply picked her up and carried her towards the window.
There was a small bed in front of the floor-to-ceiling window, which Xiao Ran had specially prepared for Chi Meng.
As someone with a strong sense of territory, a clean freak, and a fastidious nature, Xiao Ran never brought her work home. In other words, outside of work hours and the workplace, she never had private contact with patients, let alone bringing a patient to her home.
But all her principles were broken after Chi Meng called her in the middle of a thunderstorm one night.
During the most severe period, Chi Meng considered this place her second home. It was the only place that made her feel safe, aside from her home—a place where joy and pain were intertwined.
Here, she didn’t have to think about all the messy things, and her emotions would naturally settle down.
Xiao Ran gently placed Chi Meng on the bed and softly said, “Sleep. I’ll stay here with you.”
Hearing Xiao Ran’s words, Chi Meng suddenly felt very sleepy and closed her eyes in less than two seconds. Xiao Ran sat beside her, her eyes filled with complex emotions.
She reached out to stroke Chi Meng’s cheek, but withdrew her hand before touching her. Then, she got up and went to the study, looking through Chi Meng’s medical records.
Severe depression, anxiety, hallucinations, self-harm…
It’s getting worse.
Xiao Ran looked up, seeing the bloodstains on Chi Meng’s arm, and her brows furrowed tightly.
Chi Meng’s sleep was not restful. In her dream, Hua Xian glared at her fiercely, speaking words colder than the chilling wind blowing from hell.
“Baby, we are all adults. We stay together if there’s love, and we break up if there isn’t, without dragging each other down. If you insist on using love to tie me down, then that’s your fault.”
“Yes. I’m no longer interested in you, I don’t love you anymore. Can you let me go now?”
Let you go? Only over my dead body!
Chi Meng thought bitterly, but the person in front of her was still moving further away, and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t catch her.
Enormous sadness enveloped her. Chi Meng woke up suddenly, letting the tears flow freely, her eyes staring unfocused at the ceiling.
It seems this safe haven is no longer safe.
Footsteps sounded, and Chi Meng closed her eyes again. She felt someone coming near, but she didn’t want to open her eyes.
How wonderful it would be if I could just sleep forever.
Xiao Ran looked at Chi Meng’s moist eyelashes and tear-stained face, understanding perfectly, but she remained silent, just sitting by her side, accompanying her without a word.
After an unknown amount of time, Chi Meng fell into a nightmare again. This time, her hands were covered in fresh blood, and Hua Xian lay in a pool of blood, her eyes wide open.
Chi Meng was horrified, but she didn’t dare step forward. The blood on her hands grew, instantly overwhelming her.
The suffocating feeling grew heavier, but Chi Meng felt a sense of relief. Dying like this is fine, she thought.
But fate was not on her side; she was still alive.
Her consciousness gradually cleared, and she heard fragmented voices speaking nearby.
“It’s too serious… can’t indulge her nature… suspend all work…”
“Don’t let her go back… moving to a new place will help with recovery…”
Chi Meng caught these phrases and immediately shot up from the bed. Xiao Ran and Li Ai stopped talking, looking at her in unison.
“Mengmeng, how do you feel?” Li Ai quickly walked over, undisguised worry in her eyes.
Xiao Ran also approached. Although she didn’t show it, her concerned eyes betrayed her.
Chi Meng managed a forced smile and said, “I’m fine. I feel much better after a sleep. Sister Ai, how did you end up here?”
“It’s all because…” Li Ai stopped mid-sentence. She tucked a strand of hair that was stuck to Chi Meng’s cheek behind her ear, her voice full of affection: “Of course I was worried about you. You were completely out of contact for a while, and your phone was off. If I hadn’t accidentally called Xiao Ran today, I would have been frantic enough to call the police.”
“I’m sorry for worrying you.” Chi Meng looked at the gauze on her arm and then said to Xiao Ran, “Thank you, Doctor Xiao. I apologize for bothering you. I will pay you double the fee.”
Xiao Ran opened her mouth, but the words that came out were “You’re welcome.”
Chi Meng turned to get out of bed. As she put on her shoes and was about to leave, Xiao Ran finally couldn’t hold back, saying, “Meng… Miss Chi, given your current condition, it’s not advisable to see the wrong person or stay in your previous environment. So… you can stay here with me. That way, if there are any sudden issues, I can deal with them promptly.”
Chi Meng turned to look at her, her pale lips curving slightly: “Thank you, Doctor Xiao, but I still want to go back.”
Otherwise, Hua Xian will starve to death.
No matter what, I have to be with her. Even if it’s painful.
Li Ai remembered something and sighed silently. To untie the bell, you need the person who tied it. Given Chi Meng’s current state, psychological treatment was already having minimal effect. Better to follow her wishes.
What if Hua Xian can actually help?
That wretched dog who caused all this trouble! Li Ai thought angrily.
On the way home, Chi Meng was silent. Li Ai occasionally spoke to her, but seeing her lack of energy, she didn’t talk much more.
After arriving home, Chi Meng got out of the car and thanked Li Ai, but didn’t invite her in to sit down.
“Sister Ai, drive safely. I’m going in now.”
Li Ai couldn’t help herself and spoke up: “Xiao Meng, sometimes letting go of the other person is also letting go of yourself. You are a good girl, and many more people will appear in your life later. It’s not worth sacrificing your life for a ‘scumbag.’”
Chi Meng remained silent, then, remembering something, she smiled at Li Ai: “Sister Ai, I understand the logic, but it’s too late now.”
Though smiling, it looked worse than crying.
Li Ai froze, watching Chi Meng’s receding figure, and slowly pressed her hand to her chest.
“Poor child.”
She felt a burst of sadness, more painful than when she herself was heartbroken.
Chi Meng preferred quiet, so she lived in a detached villa. Hua Xian stood in the study on the second floor, watching Chi Meng force a smile, her heart feeling a sharp stab.
At this moment, she wished her eyesight wasn’t so good, but under the influence of her abilities, she could clearly see the slightest flutter of Chi Meng’s eyelashes.
Hua Xian turned and walked toward the bedroom. Mengmeng will be up soon; I can’t let her notice anything.
Chi Meng’s hands were shaking so badly that the code lock took several attempts to open. The moment the door closed, her strength was suddenly drained, and she stumbled a few steps before falling to the floor.
After a long time, suppressed sobs began to sound. Chi Meng buried her face in her arms, her shoulders shaking slightly.
She knew very well that letting go of Hua Xian was letting go of herself, but she couldn’t do it.
Proud as she was, because of her resentment and obsession, she had become the person she once looked down upon the most—what good was tying someone who didn’t love you to your side, except for mutual torment?
But she was suffering too much. Only by seeing the other person suffer the same way could she feel a little better.
Why does loving someone hurt so much?
The sound of crying reached the bedroom. Hua Xian, who had just reset the rope and lay down on the bed, sighed helplessly, untied the rope, and walked downstairs.
“Don’t cry anymore. It’s all my fault. You can hit me or scold me, just stop punishing yourself for my mistakes, okay?”
Hua Xian hugged the small, huddled figure of Chi Meng, gently patting her back to comfort her. Chi Meng stiffened completely, as if struck by something, and only after a few seconds did she break free from Hua Xian’s embrace.
“How did you get down here?”
Hua Xian understood her meaning—she was likely asking why she was able to move freely.
Hua Xian wiped the tears from her face, held her hands up in front of Chi Meng, and said sincerely: “The rope broke by itself. I came to let you tie me up again. This time, tie it tighter.”